I cant make it without you..i just cant!
Leaving this morning around 10;30 for Current river. i guess its going to be fun..i wish bethany would go though cause me && her have fun lyke no other.. :) iloveher!
Matthews going.
which i dont think is a good idea in a way
cause he just wants Lindsey to go.
i hate it. cause EVERYBODY wants her!!!! omgosh!
what is so special about her?
someone tell me please cause im really not seeing it!! cause one minute everyones lyke ugh lindseys ugly then they are lyke, "hey britt call lindsey for me && ask her if she wanna go with me"... even my ex that swore to god he didnt lyke her said "man call lindsey for me && ask her out for me" WHILE WE WERE GOING OUT && STUPID ME STILL WENT WITH HIM!! i now know why i get used && heartbroken.
ok let me stop before i really get even more mad && then wind up getting mad at her. Cause sometimes it seems lyke she tells me she DONT lyke them then when they ask her shes lyke, ummmm...i dont know...i lyke you but...i dont know.. she should just tell them NO I DONT LYKE YOU cause thats what i do..if you dont tell them the truth they wont leave you alone.
&& i dont wanna get mad at her Cause boys arent worth getting mad over! && i've realized that now after lyke 45287523752x
Bethany keep reminding me: HE is not worth it!
say that to me every second you talk to me cause i know what i will do..he will call crying saying sorry && ill feel bad & say its ok. & run back to him. so please save me a heartache && stop me. & i really dont wanna break Reese's heart by doing that cause i really love him too much.
We are going Camping for 6 or 7 days..matt has to come back thursday though cause he has a game so im gonna come back too so i can watch it i guess..but i just might let lindsey go && not me cause im not gonna waste anymore time if hes just gonna act lyke he lykes me but he dont & he tells me EVERYTHING i wanna hear. & i hate it.
mygosh. i really am beginning to wonder if i will actually have someone to call "MINE" && not just someone thats there.
My heart has been broken so many times its not even funny. I cant even count the times. I never show when im sad or heartbroken cause i hate it when people ask me what wrong. I hate that, i dont know why, i just do. So if you have ever asked me whats wrong, & i told you nothing & you knew it was something..sorry..i just hate telling people my problems.
& you know what else? I wish i was pretty. then maybe he will actually notice me && pay attention cause i know now he just talks to me cause im friends with lindsey.
I have someone but i really need someone around here lyke bethany said, someone i can touch, kiss, love, hold, hug, && so much more. When i was with him, i knew i was loved & i knew it was real. That was the best feeling in the world. But now i dont know what happened. He just turned into another ********, after all the black people. I know Pat.[reese.] is supposed to come down here but i just hate that we are so far away from each other.
man im really upset.
I need to go to sleep im a wreck.
k time for a shower & bed. I feel awful && you know what, Brett i know you prolly wont read this but anyways, no matter what i do to you or how much i make you mad you are always here for me & you just dont know how glad i am that we are friends! you are the greatest thing in my life right now.You are ALWAYS here for me when i have problems even though sometimes i know i make you mad. ireallyloveyou..& im so sorry [for everything.].
im actually going now. finish packing, shower & bed..then im away from some of my problems for a while..im so glad.i just hope he dont keep talking about lindsey the whole time..Cause i swear i will get SOOOOO mad!
I've just wasted time on someone that will never even care that i love[d] him! cause now hes not gonna have someone that is there when he FEELS lyke he needs someone cause im giving up on him &boys around here they are ALLLLL the same..I actually had someone good then he turned into another typical boy..
sorry but this is the end.
bethany posted pics on her livejournal from graduation under her survey thing..so check it out now..
broken_heart15..
Love always,
abrokengirl.
i need someone to fix my heart right now.
I expect a lot of comments when i get home && emails. so do it && try to help me sort stuff out PLEASE.
kdone.