On the subject of Trees and Apples.
Often you hear the comparison between girls and apples on a tree.
This comparison is often made by women themselves.
It's a lamenting tale about how all of the boys are just to lazy to climb up the tree, or to afraid to climb all the way to the top to reach the best of the best.
Those sole few girls at the top of the tree who are still mostly good-hearted and innocent, and don't really think like plenty of real-worlders do.
Ah yes, the great Lament of the Tree!
Such a true tale, as often as men we do tend to pick up the apples that have already fallen off of the tree.
And oh yes, of course, these apples must be rotten or dead, because they aren't still on the tree!
It's not like perhaps we were just passing as the tree gave way itself and the apple just dropped.
Or perhaps another man had just thrown it on the ground.
Oh no, it must be a rotten, sordid apple, sullied and dirtied by having already experienced some of life's more tasty treats.
(Because that really makes us sullied and dirty, right?)
And what about the poor apples in the middle of the tree?
No one's picked them, but they're easier to access, so are they just not as good as the apples at the top?
I never once remember hearing that apples that grow lower in the tree are any less tasty and worthwhile than the ones all the way at the highest point.
But wait, we're talking about women, right?
So obviously because the girl didn't grow up at the highest point, with the greatest expectations, she's just not as good.
Of this I'm sure.
But, alas!
I tell you this!
What woman is going to be chosen if not by her choosing?
Does not first, with this fictional woman-apple tree, the lady have to give the man permission to pick her from where ever upon this tree she might be?
Even the poor sullied, dirty apples on the ground still have a say in which passerby can actually lift them from the ground, perhaps restoring their self-esteem and making them feel a little better about themselves.
And here I make my real point in this quibble.
With my above revelation, we must ponder a fact that the women leave out of their Lamentation.
How many men truly dare to climb up to "the top" where these oh so amazing women lay in wait for their Knight-in-Shining-Armor of an apple picker, and are just turned down because, alas, they are not seen befitting by the apple herself?!
Many, many, I tell you.
Many men climb the tree, afraid that they will fall, and are shoved back down to the ground by the very apple they so chose to climb towards to pick.
And this, in fact, is why the men pick the apples already on the ground.
Because the apples on the ground have a perfect site of the men falling.
And they know just how much that man will do for them, will help them, will care for them.
That is why the apples at the top of the tree stay at the top, and the apples on the ground get picked up.
Not because one apple is better than the other.
Just because one of them thinks they are, and can't really see what's good for them.
Fin.