This is the way i would've done things. Up against the wall. Up against the wall.
easter was good i guess... i miss my dad a lot though.. but whatever... so school was ok today but i was in a bad mood and having a bad day... im tending to realize i was only really happy at few times in my life.. and one of those times wont stay off of my mind, it sucks.. im noticing that im heading towards my depression again.. and that there's noone for me everyone i try my hardest for just brings me down.. i want to experience the feeling of love again. i was so in love with him (sept. 12 03) he meant a lot to me. and now were barely even "friends"- i miss erik too but thats ok i guess... anyways, i kind of feel like im being annoying and all these people are my friends behind my back.. i dont know why though. its weird... i really want to be normal again. im starting to miss a lot of peopel iwas REALLY close to. like tony and neal. they used to be like family and now we barely talk anymore. Dj, danielle, kara, sammy jo, and liza in a way.. i know thats odd of me to say but im really starting to miss her. its weird. and highschool is just soo overrated. all the people are the same. and if you dont dress like everyone you automatically arent "cool" its sooo gay.... i think i hate a lot of people but i dont know why. its weird.. i just need a vacation and someone to love me for me and not what they see on the outside... another thing is this whole weight thing.. ive gained 11 pounds and its hard for me when i hear that... im just upset, ill stop before i say too much
( Does best friends mean i pull the trigger? )