the 11th
i woke up at amy's house... we went to mcdonald's aka death for breakfast. marybeth was there too. it was fun. then i went home and finally made a cd of music for work. man, i've never heard lisa ekdahl played so much in such little time. work wasn't that busy, not like yesterday. i got to work with shima. she's pretty cool, and by cool i mean half chinese half japanese. so i guess that makes her awsome. after that i went to rocky..... after no one answered their phones. and the people that said they would go ended up trashed at a bar. whatever. it blew tonight. there was nobody i knew there. plus the cast wasn't exactly the best. ...and there really wasn't any point in me being there anyway... i left not even half way into the movie.
the moon was full... it was perfect. i pictured this day (night). how it was going to go. how everything was going to be smooth and exciting. how it would make me happy... fate, irony, would not let me have it. fuck.
i went to karla's and picked her up to go to steak n shake. we ate while she flirted with our waiter. way to go... she can do a lot better. i started to fall asleep there so i drove her home with the intention of going home myself and sleeping, but ended up going to Denny's. I saw kristina for like 2 seconds before she left and i sat in the corner with coffee. i tried to read but i was way too tired for that. started dozing off and waited for dave to leave so i could keep my head on the table without getting bitched at. i'm supposed to go to a carnival with hilary and what's her face... ashley? i think so. we're supposed to get together before that though and watch buffy. yay.
my hair is bleached blonde now, it's pretty bright. i like it... although i originally wanted to dye it dark dark red. i still will...
i wish i knew exactly what stan is thinking right now. what he'll be thinking the rest of this day. it's our would be one year. i wonder if he hates me. rachel says i'm being too hard on myself. she's right. i know i am, but i can't see how i could ever be any different. i've always been hard on myself. god... i love him so much and it hurts that i can't talk to him. i hope he heals fast, good result or not, i just want to be able to talk to him again. i miss him so much.
Here's thinking of you stan. especially on this fondest of days.
I love you.
the moon was full... it was perfect. i pictured this day (night). how it was going to go. how everything was going to be smooth and exciting. how it would make me happy... fate, irony, would not let me have it. fuck.
i went to karla's and picked her up to go to steak n shake. we ate while she flirted with our waiter. way to go... she can do a lot better. i started to fall asleep there so i drove her home with the intention of going home myself and sleeping, but ended up going to Denny's. I saw kristina for like 2 seconds before she left and i sat in the corner with coffee. i tried to read but i was way too tired for that. started dozing off and waited for dave to leave so i could keep my head on the table without getting bitched at. i'm supposed to go to a carnival with hilary and what's her face... ashley? i think so. we're supposed to get together before that though and watch buffy. yay.
my hair is bleached blonde now, it's pretty bright. i like it... although i originally wanted to dye it dark dark red. i still will...
i wish i knew exactly what stan is thinking right now. what he'll be thinking the rest of this day. it's our would be one year. i wonder if he hates me. rachel says i'm being too hard on myself. she's right. i know i am, but i can't see how i could ever be any different. i've always been hard on myself. god... i love him so much and it hurts that i can't talk to him. i hope he heals fast, good result or not, i just want to be able to talk to him again. i miss him so much.
Here's thinking of you stan. especially on this fondest of days.
I love you.