(no subject)
She managed to taste the blood wine again tonight. She managed to sing to the sky and understand she is not wanted again tonight. She managed to lose her insanity and her pen, hard to believe. She is usually good at keeping track of those things but she got messy tonight and lost both. Both needed. Both valuable. Both sitting somewhere in the park grass and who knows where else in this town. She read, "I can't have sex all the time", and wished that idea was hers to put on a t-shirt. She stormed off with no goodbyes or I'll miss yous. She met the Babar family and some unknown Shibi person's resume on the sidewalk. She managed to ruin a brand new pair of socks, and everything else that is sold in a pack. She found a new song to love and a new song to hate. She found someone else to swear at, but someone else to keep coming back to. She loves being told to go away. Tell her no, she loves it. She had negative twenty nine dollars and thirty five cents in her bank which will never buy any love back. She is in the red now, but she will make the call in the morning to get her money back. She likes to think that someone, out there somewhere, has her on their mind. (She knows that isn't true). She believes now that there is shit in the sky. She will be sure to always bring her umbrella with her whenever she leaves her house because the doesn't want to get shit in her hair. She first needs to buy an umbrella to call her own though. Sleep and don't wonder how she's doing. She externally hopes that car will stop at the red light as she crosses the street, but inside she wonders what would happen if it didn't. She's been with people who have ran red lights before, so why not this car? Would she live to tell the tale of her walk home? It looks like she found her pen wedged between the pages of her book. Now where did she leave her insanity? She will search in the light of day for it, although she is positive it cannot be retreived. She will go upstairs to microwave whatever food is fit for microwaving and then nestle a neck in her dreams tonight. She won't be forceful or direct though, she will let that neck do all the work. She will disagree with this all then she wakes with the sun tomorrow. She knows she can't be held accountable or trustworthty for anything, but trust her for that.