(no subject)
i'm spending my days in exile. bitterness thick within my veins, i can see vaguely across the ocean that seperates me from everyone else. it's partly my choice, being here. but it is not exactly what i had foreseen. my life is put into perspective, when spending so much time alone. no one actually wants to be around you, anymore. and that could very well be your own fault. it could just be that life is harder for you to handle. you are a weakling. you as in myself. and you are so deep into a hole of despair and hopelessness that you cannot even see straight. words cannot begin to express what it is you feel, as you stare at your reflection against the ocean. an almost numbness. it's almost as if you dont even feel feelings anymore. you dont trust most of the souls around you. every man you have loved has somehow let you down. the one you love the most is completely unaware as to how to help you. not that he has tried all that much. or maybe the one you love is completely oblivious to you, your feelings. your life. no one knows you, you dont know others. very well. it feels like the worst year of your life, and you're not even halfway through.