If You Listen Hard Enough, You Can Hear Every Living Thing Breathing Together...
Rant Warning.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6d5YLGgYtM
I am seriously BEGGING the very few guys who occasionally glance at my journal to watch this video and give me your opinions.
And, for the record, I'm not going to use this as just another way to rag on Twilight. Really. ¬_¬
It just brings up a kind of interesting viewpoint, which, coincidentally, seems to be a kind of running theme in S Meyers books, but having not read enough of them to back my argument up, I'm gonna put that aside and deal with the issue presented solely in the video. Which was made by a qualified Counsellor, not just some random youtuber, in case you're wondering.
It's this idea of men as naturally violent creatures who are constantly having to restrain themselves from using their superior size and strength to hurt women. (Maybe children and small animals too, but mostly women cause I dunno I guess we're just so gosh derned annoying.) And the more self restraint he shows, the more admirable he is.
It's like 'Wow, you mean he's NOT beating the shit out of you? Geez, he must really love you!'
... WHAT.
This strikes me as somewhat unfair to the male populace of the planet.
I have never, in my life, felt physically threatened by a guy I know, just because he's a man. Sure, I've felt threatened by people who are bigger, stronger and crazier than me, but I've come across a fair few women who fit that description too. And I find it frankly disgusting that anyone would suggest that kind of thing about guys in general. I mean, I punched my ex in the face several times and he just stood and took it. The only reason I'd have been pissed about him hitting me back would be because he deserved it, but not kicking my face in doesn't make him a more admirable dude.
It also suggests that all the power in a relationship naturally lies with the man and that they have to make a similarly herculean effort to treat their female partners as equals, make them feel included, like they're contributing something, etc.
... you don't have to make them feel equal because THEY ARE EQUAL. WE ARE ALL EQUAL. NEITHER GENDER IS BETTER THAN THE OTHER. THAT IS THE POINT OF ANY RELATIONSHIP.
I could of course go on a long screaming diatribe about the female gender stereotypes, but they're glaringly obvious and it was the sexism towards men that stood out more to me, seeing as it's directed at you poor silly bastards and how to better yourselves -_-
Just for the record, not all women want an Edward. WE DON'T WANT THAT. PLEASE GUYS. PLEASE IGNORE WHAT THIS CRAZY WOMAN IS SAYING. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
I also don't see how any of this really pertains to any one gender. It's all this 'show respect' 'show restraint' 'be good' bullcrap that is kind of common sense for any regular human being. It goes for women too, but I dunno, maybe it's meant to come naturally to us? Who knows.
Also also - where the fuck do gay people fit into this? Of either gender? Do they not count? Cause I got a feeling all this, 'treat your girl nice' crap would take on a whole new meaning in that context. It's like they just choose not to acknowledge that it happens - it doesn't fit into the convenient little niche they've found for the 'perfect' relationship so they just pretend it doesn't exist, or it doesn't count as ****real love you guis****
That's another thing that really irritated me. It suggests that if you can't follow these rules, then you'll never be loved. Or if you're the woman, that you'll spend you're whole life searching for that unattainable, perfect Edward, and anyone who doesn't fullfill this quota is just a settle that will never make you truly happy. This isn't a new idea I know, in fact the point is that we've been fighting it for fucking centuries, but with another love-story phenomenon the notion has surged into popular thinking once more.
How can you just lump everyone into one big category and say 'this is what these people want'? This woman is supposed to be an honest to god, qualified Counsellor, which is just... horrendous. I don't wanna cast aspersions on her intellect but... okay, I'm gonna. Please, holy hera, tell me this is not what she is seriously advising the people who are paying her to fix their lives?!
It's just not logical. You can't deal with people, individuals, in terms of stereotypes and generalities in that kind of job. The point is to sort out the things in individuals that are broken, that don't mesh properly and try to work around them, find someone who fills up the spaces where you've broken off. Saying, here's a guide to being just like a fictional character popular among teens and housewives, learn the rules and sending them on their way does not strike me as a good strategy.
Overall, it made me really sad. It made me think of guys I've known and liked watching this and taking it seriously, subsequently erasing all the great things about themselves in order to live up to this notion of a 'real man'.
Come on people. Just be yourselves.
... unless you suck ~_^
+_+
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6d5YLGgYtM
I am seriously BEGGING the very few guys who occasionally glance at my journal to watch this video and give me your opinions.
And, for the record, I'm not going to use this as just another way to rag on Twilight. Really. ¬_¬
It just brings up a kind of interesting viewpoint, which, coincidentally, seems to be a kind of running theme in S Meyers books, but having not read enough of them to back my argument up, I'm gonna put that aside and deal with the issue presented solely in the video. Which was made by a qualified Counsellor, not just some random youtuber, in case you're wondering.
It's this idea of men as naturally violent creatures who are constantly having to restrain themselves from using their superior size and strength to hurt women. (Maybe children and small animals too, but mostly women cause I dunno I guess we're just so gosh derned annoying.) And the more self restraint he shows, the more admirable he is.
It's like 'Wow, you mean he's NOT beating the shit out of you? Geez, he must really love you!'
... WHAT.
This strikes me as somewhat unfair to the male populace of the planet.
I have never, in my life, felt physically threatened by a guy I know, just because he's a man. Sure, I've felt threatened by people who are bigger, stronger and crazier than me, but I've come across a fair few women who fit that description too. And I find it frankly disgusting that anyone would suggest that kind of thing about guys in general. I mean, I punched my ex in the face several times and he just stood and took it. The only reason I'd have been pissed about him hitting me back would be because he deserved it, but not kicking my face in doesn't make him a more admirable dude.
It also suggests that all the power in a relationship naturally lies with the man and that they have to make a similarly herculean effort to treat their female partners as equals, make them feel included, like they're contributing something, etc.
... you don't have to make them feel equal because THEY ARE EQUAL. WE ARE ALL EQUAL. NEITHER GENDER IS BETTER THAN THE OTHER. THAT IS THE POINT OF ANY RELATIONSHIP.
I could of course go on a long screaming diatribe about the female gender stereotypes, but they're glaringly obvious and it was the sexism towards men that stood out more to me, seeing as it's directed at you poor silly bastards and how to better yourselves -_-
Just for the record, not all women want an Edward. WE DON'T WANT THAT. PLEASE GUYS. PLEASE IGNORE WHAT THIS CRAZY WOMAN IS SAYING. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
I also don't see how any of this really pertains to any one gender. It's all this 'show respect' 'show restraint' 'be good' bullcrap that is kind of common sense for any regular human being. It goes for women too, but I dunno, maybe it's meant to come naturally to us? Who knows.
Also also - where the fuck do gay people fit into this? Of either gender? Do they not count? Cause I got a feeling all this, 'treat your girl nice' crap would take on a whole new meaning in that context. It's like they just choose not to acknowledge that it happens - it doesn't fit into the convenient little niche they've found for the 'perfect' relationship so they just pretend it doesn't exist, or it doesn't count as ****real love you guis****
That's another thing that really irritated me. It suggests that if you can't follow these rules, then you'll never be loved. Or if you're the woman, that you'll spend you're whole life searching for that unattainable, perfect Edward, and anyone who doesn't fullfill this quota is just a settle that will never make you truly happy. This isn't a new idea I know, in fact the point is that we've been fighting it for fucking centuries, but with another love-story phenomenon the notion has surged into popular thinking once more.
How can you just lump everyone into one big category and say 'this is what these people want'? This woman is supposed to be an honest to god, qualified Counsellor, which is just... horrendous. I don't wanna cast aspersions on her intellect but... okay, I'm gonna. Please, holy hera, tell me this is not what she is seriously advising the people who are paying her to fix their lives?!
It's just not logical. You can't deal with people, individuals, in terms of stereotypes and generalities in that kind of job. The point is to sort out the things in individuals that are broken, that don't mesh properly and try to work around them, find someone who fills up the spaces where you've broken off. Saying, here's a guide to being just like a fictional character popular among teens and housewives, learn the rules and sending them on their way does not strike me as a good strategy.
Overall, it made me really sad. It made me think of guys I've known and liked watching this and taking it seriously, subsequently erasing all the great things about themselves in order to live up to this notion of a 'real man'.
Come on people. Just be yourselves.
... unless you suck ~_^
+_+