Almost A Little Too Much Cleveland to Swallow...
Homefest 2k5: day 57
So long sweet summer
I stumbled upon you and gratefully basked in your rays
So long sweet slumber
I fell into you now you're gracefully falling away
I'll be leaving for OU in 22 days. In many ways that's amazing and in so many ways that sucks. In every aspect of my life at home, except maybe one or two, I'm ready to be back in Athens. The only things that are keeping me home are the good times with friends and, mainly, Jim. As some of you may or may not know, Jim and I had been dating for almost two years before I went to OU last fall. I was completely in love with the boy and had never been happier in my life. In the weeks leading up to and the first weeks of school I was under a ton of stress. I was being repelled by my parents and all my friends were so far away and I had this whole new aspect of my life to explore. In the midst of all of that I somehow decided that Jim and I shouldn't date. I panicked. I freaked out. I screwed up bigtime. Throughout the year I thought about him constantly and how much I had hurt him and how much I thought he would be better without me. I was mean to him and said A LOT of things I shouldn't have because I thought he would be better off hating me. Little did I know that all I was doing was hurting him. It took me a year without Jim to reassure me that I really, really am 100% in love with him. It's seriously true that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone. When I came home for the summer I wasn't sure if he would take me back. Luckily, he gave me a second chance and I'm so thankful for that. Everyday I realize how lucky I am to be with him. He makes me laugh the hardest I have ever laughed. He makes me smile so much my face hurts (in a good way) almost constantly. He's always been there for me, even when we weren't dating. Somedays he is the only thing in the world that can cheer me up. He treats me like a princess (Yes, that's right, I called myself a princess.). And he loves me the same crazy amount that I love him. Now, why would I give that up? I'm not going to lie, it's going to be hard at college. I'm not going to see him everyday and I won't be able to have him near me all the time, with me being four hours away and all. That sucks so much. But I'm not going to let that come between me and him. I'll know that he's at home thinking about me and still loving the hell out of me. And I hope he knows that I'll be doing the same. I love the kid to death. The single hardest thing that I will have to do is kiss him goodbye for the last time this summer. He will be the single most missed thing about home. Although I may be in Athens, my heart will definately be at home, in Middleburg Hts.
XOJess