(no subject)
Holy crap its been a while....
and dude, I have ALOT to say.
things have beeeen pretty crazy lately.
here's a good rant for you...you may not like it.
lately I've also been not liking alot of things, like certain people for instance...and I'm sure they don't like me....in fact, I get the jist that alot of people might not like me or is that just my poor pathetic self lying to...myself?
Another thing...I absolutely despise being annoying. I think I am, I think I shoudl shutup, but I'm the kind of person who will speak what's on their mind, whether it be clearly absurd or grotesque or whatever other adjective you want to insert. I'm sure some people find that annoying. I do sometimes...like I said, but I don't have much control of it, I'm always thinking things. I don't pay attention much, unless its a good friend who needs some help...I'm not good w/ remembering things by ear...better by reading, I am a reader, I love it. I like video games...yes yes I do. I like computers and running and sitting on my ass and sleep and of course food, but I've found a contempt for it lately...its the season of fatness and I feel Im getting fatter. I like girly stuff, I love running around like a dumbass w/ the boys. I curse, I'll stop eventually. I'm rude...I burp and fart, what can I say? I can tell a fake person from talking to them for a few minutes...Some fake people get away w/ it the first few times though...I hate back stabbers, but I will admit, I have been one. I speak the truth...and I hate it at the same time. I don't like being alone on the weekends. I like going out, I love parties and I drink (which should stop). I don't like eggplant. I love dancing, but I'm scared to, until I'm a bit buzzed. I need to overcome my anxieties..I have a mild social anxiety, I don't like making new friends but I know I KNOW I NEED TO!!!!!!! I'm more afraid of making new friends b/c I think about what might be running through their heads, I think about what new people might not like about me or thinka bout the way I look, talk or dress. I dress pretty nicely though, I think. I need a tan, but I'm not too much of a fan of the tanning bed. I don't like spray on's or do it yourself's either..lol. I feel like I don't have many friends...though I have many people I know and stuffs. i have a few close friends....maybe four or five? I have a boyfriend...things go rocky sometimes but I know I love him, though honestly, I do wonder what it would be like to be single again, I've been with him for a year and some change now...I have things on my mind which I can't tell in LJ just now...maybe someone will read that shouldn't?
okay new paragraph, that one was rambling.
Well anyways...I'm basically a very insecure person, and lately I've been an angry person, which is not at all good. I just think I need a break from school, which is coming in due time...I can't wait until my English 3 AP class is over...It brings my self esteem down so much. Anyways I don't want to type anymore...
I do need some good friends though..I feel like mine have walked away for other lovers, which is okay...I'm still here.
only time will tell
time will turn and tell
<3 jordan
and dude, I have ALOT to say.
things have beeeen pretty crazy lately.
here's a good rant for you...you may not like it.
lately I've also been not liking alot of things, like certain people for instance...and I'm sure they don't like me....in fact, I get the jist that alot of people might not like me or is that just my poor pathetic self lying to...myself?
Another thing...I absolutely despise being annoying. I think I am, I think I shoudl shutup, but I'm the kind of person who will speak what's on their mind, whether it be clearly absurd or grotesque or whatever other adjective you want to insert. I'm sure some people find that annoying. I do sometimes...like I said, but I don't have much control of it, I'm always thinking things. I don't pay attention much, unless its a good friend who needs some help...I'm not good w/ remembering things by ear...better by reading, I am a reader, I love it. I like video games...yes yes I do. I like computers and running and sitting on my ass and sleep and of course food, but I've found a contempt for it lately...its the season of fatness and I feel Im getting fatter. I like girly stuff, I love running around like a dumbass w/ the boys. I curse, I'll stop eventually. I'm rude...I burp and fart, what can I say? I can tell a fake person from talking to them for a few minutes...Some fake people get away w/ it the first few times though...I hate back stabbers, but I will admit, I have been one. I speak the truth...and I hate it at the same time. I don't like being alone on the weekends. I like going out, I love parties and I drink (which should stop). I don't like eggplant. I love dancing, but I'm scared to, until I'm a bit buzzed. I need to overcome my anxieties..I have a mild social anxiety, I don't like making new friends but I know I KNOW I NEED TO!!!!!!! I'm more afraid of making new friends b/c I think about what might be running through their heads, I think about what new people might not like about me or thinka bout the way I look, talk or dress. I dress pretty nicely though, I think. I need a tan, but I'm not too much of a fan of the tanning bed. I don't like spray on's or do it yourself's either..lol. I feel like I don't have many friends...though I have many people I know and stuffs. i have a few close friends....maybe four or five? I have a boyfriend...things go rocky sometimes but I know I love him, though honestly, I do wonder what it would be like to be single again, I've been with him for a year and some change now...I have things on my mind which I can't tell in LJ just now...maybe someone will read that shouldn't?
okay new paragraph, that one was rambling.
Well anyways...I'm basically a very insecure person, and lately I've been an angry person, which is not at all good. I just think I need a break from school, which is coming in due time...I can't wait until my English 3 AP class is over...It brings my self esteem down so much. Anyways I don't want to type anymore...
I do need some good friends though..I feel like mine have walked away for other lovers, which is okay...I'm still here.
only time will tell
time will turn and tell
<3 jordan