how it feels to be alone and not believe anything...
hmm well i typed this whole thing. then deleted it because im not sure who reads this anymore. so ill just write about my week.
kk well monday... i went to tays with kimmy katie n ker. oh man craziness. katie that fucking bitch pusehd me in the pool! haha jk luuuu. it was fun. we chatted... a lot. lol
yesterday i went to jills. and yeah thats about it.\
danielle i liove you. teehe. taylor i love you too you retard. my god.. TOOTSIE ROLL! haha
ugh its like 239847837 degrees. my mom keeps yelling at me bc im outside playing basketball all the time but idk its easier to think. thats the only reason i do it. i mean its not like i love shooting around in 90 degrees, it just gets me away from people.
ive been thinking alot. more than a lot. its weird, everything. thinking about love/like, friends, people, the world. im not even sure what i think anymore. summer will be a good time to clear my head hopefull and just start over, thats all i wnat. a new start, thats what i need.
things are going pretty good with matt i guess. i yelled at him the other day and told him he should marry baseball since thats all he ever talks about and he got pissed... its true thoughh! joey agrees with me! haha funny kid funny kid...
i dont trust anybody, about anything. which pisses all my best friends off but idk what to do bout it. i have major trust issues. its taken me FOREVER to be able to trust monica and jackie. i mean i dont even tell them everything, but i tell them the most, whcih is big for me since i usually just keep most things inside till it all gets to me and i like explode. but im getting better i think. a little? not really... but yeah ill just pretend.
i decided im never going to love again. its easier. even though i really dont have control of it ill just pretend i do. its better that way, less emotions, less risk of getting hurt, less wondering if they love you back. im just waiting to be loved. i wonder how it feels. thats alright im not expecting it. im scared in a way but w.e im not thinking about it anymore.
oh and btw... now conor teehan thinks i want his cock. URG!
whew. that was a long one. now you cant whine i didnt update mer :) alrite im done i think.... <3
kk well monday... i went to tays with kimmy katie n ker. oh man craziness. katie that fucking bitch pusehd me in the pool! haha jk luuuu. it was fun. we chatted... a lot. lol
yesterday i went to jills. and yeah thats about it.\
danielle i liove you. teehe. taylor i love you too you retard. my god.. TOOTSIE ROLL! haha
ugh its like 239847837 degrees. my mom keeps yelling at me bc im outside playing basketball all the time but idk its easier to think. thats the only reason i do it. i mean its not like i love shooting around in 90 degrees, it just gets me away from people.
ive been thinking alot. more than a lot. its weird, everything. thinking about love/like, friends, people, the world. im not even sure what i think anymore. summer will be a good time to clear my head hopefull and just start over, thats all i wnat. a new start, thats what i need.
things are going pretty good with matt i guess. i yelled at him the other day and told him he should marry baseball since thats all he ever talks about and he got pissed... its true thoughh! joey agrees with me! haha funny kid funny kid...
i dont trust anybody, about anything. which pisses all my best friends off but idk what to do bout it. i have major trust issues. its taken me FOREVER to be able to trust monica and jackie. i mean i dont even tell them everything, but i tell them the most, whcih is big for me since i usually just keep most things inside till it all gets to me and i like explode. but im getting better i think. a little? not really... but yeah ill just pretend.
i decided im never going to love again. its easier. even though i really dont have control of it ill just pretend i do. its better that way, less emotions, less risk of getting hurt, less wondering if they love you back. im just waiting to be loved. i wonder how it feels. thats alright im not expecting it. im scared in a way but w.e im not thinking about it anymore.
oh and btw... now conor teehan thinks i want his cock. URG!
whew. that was a long one. now you cant whine i didnt update mer :) alrite im done i think.... <3