Life
my life was all going good till the begining of the week, i had everything going good, i was at college and work enjoyin life knowing id be in america in the summer, so anyhow works been hella good i been earning my money, buying my christmas presents for my family, etc etc, i got my first work pack back and the marks were good on it,
my family had fun with the fire works, im glad i bought them it was awesome, was my nannas birthday on the 15th november the first birthday since she died, she would of been 79.
anyhow here goes me trying to right how i feel though ive never had a problem with it before.
the begining of the week starting the 14th, anyhow i worked all day had college all night got home went to bed couldnt sleep so i got up and spoke to mel, if i knew that was the last time i would of spoken to her i would of said everything ive never said and i wouldnt of cared about needing sleep, anyhow i said love ya i have to go back to sleep and she said il talk to you tomorrow lovely.
so i got up and went and did my long day tuesday the 15th nannas birthday i had alot sorted, i went to work from 8am - 6pm and went straight to my course after 6 i got home at 9 and was so tired i went to sleep, got up and went to work on wednesday came home and went to sleep now i was fine, i woke up and chris told me mel had died, i laughed couldnt be true thats my mel she wasnt ever gonna die i was gonna see her in june n take care of her beautiful children. so i get on my space and darlas left me messages about mel being in a car wreck. i didnt believe it all day i wasnt set on letting it sink in until someone i trusted spoke to her mom or the police so i took the rest of the week off work, before i went to bed darla confirmed shed talked to mels mom and she was in fact dead that hurt i dont think ive ever felt such hurt about someone online in my life, everything my life practically had a purpose for had been taken away, so i tried to sleep not that i did i kept thinking id wake up and shed be there cause this was all some fucked up dream.
i got up and dj had pmed me sayin how hed contacted the police department and theyd confirmed details and my mel wasnt ever coming back that hurt right there, and i dont think i can sit at my pc and see her name there and not cry. though i remembered a poem i read when my nanna died and it went like this .......
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there.I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there, I did not die.
i just dont know how to feel, mel helped me fix my life after my nan had died she gave me a whole new purpose into living to get my degree become a nanny and moove and see everything, now gods taken it all away. as dani says hes an indian giver.
Services for Melanie Fitzgerald, 24, of Kilgore are pending with Rader Funeral Home. Ms. Fitzgerald passed away in Tyler, Wednesday, Nov. 16, 2005.
Please leave online condolences www.raderfuneralhome. com.
R.I.P Melanie Fitzgerald 13th Febuary 1981 - November 16th 2005
Tat xxx
my family had fun with the fire works, im glad i bought them it was awesome, was my nannas birthday on the 15th november the first birthday since she died, she would of been 79.
anyhow here goes me trying to right how i feel though ive never had a problem with it before.
the begining of the week starting the 14th, anyhow i worked all day had college all night got home went to bed couldnt sleep so i got up and spoke to mel, if i knew that was the last time i would of spoken to her i would of said everything ive never said and i wouldnt of cared about needing sleep, anyhow i said love ya i have to go back to sleep and she said il talk to you tomorrow lovely.
so i got up and went and did my long day tuesday the 15th nannas birthday i had alot sorted, i went to work from 8am - 6pm and went straight to my course after 6 i got home at 9 and was so tired i went to sleep, got up and went to work on wednesday came home and went to sleep now i was fine, i woke up and chris told me mel had died, i laughed couldnt be true thats my mel she wasnt ever gonna die i was gonna see her in june n take care of her beautiful children. so i get on my space and darlas left me messages about mel being in a car wreck. i didnt believe it all day i wasnt set on letting it sink in until someone i trusted spoke to her mom or the police so i took the rest of the week off work, before i went to bed darla confirmed shed talked to mels mom and she was in fact dead that hurt i dont think ive ever felt such hurt about someone online in my life, everything my life practically had a purpose for had been taken away, so i tried to sleep not that i did i kept thinking id wake up and shed be there cause this was all some fucked up dream.
i got up and dj had pmed me sayin how hed contacted the police department and theyd confirmed details and my mel wasnt ever coming back that hurt right there, and i dont think i can sit at my pc and see her name there and not cry. though i remembered a poem i read when my nanna died and it went like this .......
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there.I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there, I did not die.
i just dont know how to feel, mel helped me fix my life after my nan had died she gave me a whole new purpose into living to get my degree become a nanny and moove and see everything, now gods taken it all away. as dani says hes an indian giver.
Services for Melanie Fitzgerald, 24, of Kilgore are pending with Rader Funeral Home. Ms. Fitzgerald passed away in Tyler, Wednesday, Nov. 16, 2005.
Please leave online condolences www.raderfuneralhome. com.
R.I.P Melanie Fitzgerald 13th Febuary 1981 - November 16th 2005
Tat xxx