(no subject)
note to self: never rise to random abuse from stupid little chav cunts on bikes, unless of course you want to put your friends in danger like the prick you are.
grr, i'm so angry at myself. still, and it's been abour 20 hours. i really have to learn to keep my temper and not shout back at people. cos they didn't take it well, and followed us all the way down the street and shouted and threatened to hit us, and to knock rahul out (that annoyed me the most - why start on rahul? he's a tiny little gay guy who couldn't have fought back at all). and i just felt so fucking guilty. had i been alone, it would have been fine - they'd have started, i'd have risen to it as always, and they'd have beaten me to a bloody pulp. but the fact that i was selfish enough to endanger my friends, makes my blood boil. it really does.
and then there's the fact that in a way i enjoyed it. the way the adrenaline made me ready for anything. i almost hoped they'd hit me, so i could hit back and make them see that this isn't someone you start with. ever.
grr, i'm so angry at myself. still, and it's been abour 20 hours. i really have to learn to keep my temper and not shout back at people. cos they didn't take it well, and followed us all the way down the street and shouted and threatened to hit us, and to knock rahul out (that annoyed me the most - why start on rahul? he's a tiny little gay guy who couldn't have fought back at all). and i just felt so fucking guilty. had i been alone, it would have been fine - they'd have started, i'd have risen to it as always, and they'd have beaten me to a bloody pulp. but the fact that i was selfish enough to endanger my friends, makes my blood boil. it really does.
and then there's the fact that in a way i enjoyed it. the way the adrenaline made me ready for anything. i almost hoped they'd hit me, so i could hit back and make them see that this isn't someone you start with. ever.