(no subject)
god god god god god. i am lucky to be alive. i am.
went to claire's party last night. i don't know what happened, but i woke up 4 hours later in hospital, covered in wires with a drip coming out my arm. according to their blood tests, i'd taken ecstasy, though i don't remember it, and i can't see myself being stupid enough to do that. i collapsed unconscious, i got sick, my parents came to collect me and the sheffield boys had to carry me downstairs. apparently, i sat with iona for ages while she worried about me, but i don't remember her being there. when i got home i came round and spazzed out and started clawing at my uncle's face; he had to physically restrain me and bundle me into the car and cart me to hospital. that's another thing i don't remember.
just got off the phone to shrey and she filled me in on the hours i missed out on. but we still can't figure out when i fucking took it. we have a theory though. on the train, we were drinking champagne, and some boy, i think it was luke, was pestering me for some of it, but i told him to fuck off at first. i gave in eventually, but he only took a tiny sip, and i remember thinking it was really weird. there was only a little bit left, and i finished it. no one else had any. and i was the one who collapsed. coincidence?
i'm scared.
went to claire's party last night. i don't know what happened, but i woke up 4 hours later in hospital, covered in wires with a drip coming out my arm. according to their blood tests, i'd taken ecstasy, though i don't remember it, and i can't see myself being stupid enough to do that. i collapsed unconscious, i got sick, my parents came to collect me and the sheffield boys had to carry me downstairs. apparently, i sat with iona for ages while she worried about me, but i don't remember her being there. when i got home i came round and spazzed out and started clawing at my uncle's face; he had to physically restrain me and bundle me into the car and cart me to hospital. that's another thing i don't remember.
just got off the phone to shrey and she filled me in on the hours i missed out on. but we still can't figure out when i fucking took it. we have a theory though. on the train, we were drinking champagne, and some boy, i think it was luke, was pestering me for some of it, but i told him to fuck off at first. i gave in eventually, but he only took a tiny sip, and i remember thinking it was really weird. there was only a little bit left, and i finished it. no one else had any. and i was the one who collapsed. coincidence?
i'm scared.