not good enough
what a shitty day... everything was goin great, but now it isnt.
1. not good enough to be on the "good" teams in volleyball, i was almost going to cry...that is bullshit. i hate ms hill and wish death upon her. she neevr even watched me and jus put me on the bad side..its such fucking crap. im ten times better than a lot of the girls that made the good teams. so now me and whang boo are stuck on the shit teams. great. wonderful. i used to look forward to gym becuase of volleyball and now im dreading it. thank god we have aerobics tomorrow. if i hear one more comment from anyone about how im on the bad teams, i will kill myself. fuck that. fuck ms hill. fuck gym volleyball. fuck the entire school.
2. i just felt so fuckin self conscious today. i felt gross. it was the wprst thing ever. i hate feeling like that. i wanted to run away and hide myself from everyone. i dunno what it is. even this wekend was not great. i felt so low as usual. it never seems to go away. its like a monster hiding under my skin, and torturing me wen it comes out. i hate it. im such a waste.
3. to top it all off, i come home and i recieve a letter in the mail from university of maryland, the one school i really wanted to go to. and it says that i ahve been placed on the waiting list..blah...blah...blah...which bascially means i didnt get in, and im pretty disappointed. fuck. after i hear who else got accepted just made it worse. except for you whang boo u deserve to get in. i just feel like im not good enough. for anything..
i dont know what (if anything) cud cheer me up but i need it. cuz right now im feeling really shitty.
there has to be something wrong with me.
too much bull shit.
1. not good enough to be on the "good" teams in volleyball, i was almost going to cry...that is bullshit. i hate ms hill and wish death upon her. she neevr even watched me and jus put me on the bad side..its such fucking crap. im ten times better than a lot of the girls that made the good teams. so now me and whang boo are stuck on the shit teams. great. wonderful. i used to look forward to gym becuase of volleyball and now im dreading it. thank god we have aerobics tomorrow. if i hear one more comment from anyone about how im on the bad teams, i will kill myself. fuck that. fuck ms hill. fuck gym volleyball. fuck the entire school.
2. i just felt so fuckin self conscious today. i felt gross. it was the wprst thing ever. i hate feeling like that. i wanted to run away and hide myself from everyone. i dunno what it is. even this wekend was not great. i felt so low as usual. it never seems to go away. its like a monster hiding under my skin, and torturing me wen it comes out. i hate it. im such a waste.
3. to top it all off, i come home and i recieve a letter in the mail from university of maryland, the one school i really wanted to go to. and it says that i ahve been placed on the waiting list..blah...blah...blah...which bascially means i didnt get in, and im pretty disappointed. fuck. after i hear who else got accepted just made it worse. except for you whang boo u deserve to get in. i just feel like im not good enough. for anything..
i dont know what (if anything) cud cheer me up but i need it. cuz right now im feeling really shitty.
there has to be something wrong with me.
too much bull shit.