(no subject)
Hey.
SO i have alot to clear up in my mind so ill type it here n try n make some sense.
Right so. Stevie is like my best friend in the world and i love him to bits...but i dont understand him..
LIke i just want to spend at least more than an hour with him and like i dont understand why he doesnt want to....i really feel like hes pushing me away and like hes suppose to be my best friend and i barely see him and people he hardly knows they see him alot more than i do...I just dont understand it..
...Like ill ask him to come watch a couple of movies with me n hes like yeah sure n he doesnt....yet he watches them with other people....i just dont want to loose him....again...Like he says im his best friend but like i find myself saying where is he? or like why isnt stevie here like he used to be....Like i no he has a gf n he'll want to spend time with her but i just want at least sometime to have some fun with him....
I dont want to steal him away and i dont want to get people angry but like yeah sure ilike him in tht way but i wouldnt never put tht before anything anf i just gave to get on with things even if it does hurt a little but like....hes my best friend before ANYTHING like hes like the only thing i have left since i lost alot of friends n stuff when my parents split n well i casnt have him hating be again....i mean i dcont understand it...
I used to phone him alot like every night and talk crap to him down the phone n iot was like yeah it was fun...and someome said to me...do u realise u only talk to him on the pohne when u phone him or tell him to phone u...and i kept thinking lioke...yeah when was the last time he phoned me just out of randomness like i do...or when was the last time he asked to meet me instead of me asking him....i try not to let tht bother me coz i really dont want to loose him as a friend....and like he'll probablyu read this and hate me but i jkust dont want to be all sad and not understand why....
...I dont want to and i cant loose my best friend....i try to make an effort but it doesnt seem to be good enough...like i fuck up....but doesnt everyone...and im not perfect ...but neither is anyone else.....i edunno.....i jsut....dont...understand it.
SO i have alot to clear up in my mind so ill type it here n try n make some sense.
Right so. Stevie is like my best friend in the world and i love him to bits...but i dont understand him..
LIke i just want to spend at least more than an hour with him and like i dont understand why he doesnt want to....i really feel like hes pushing me away and like hes suppose to be my best friend and i barely see him and people he hardly knows they see him alot more than i do...I just dont understand it..
...Like ill ask him to come watch a couple of movies with me n hes like yeah sure n he doesnt....yet he watches them with other people....i just dont want to loose him....again...Like he says im his best friend but like i find myself saying where is he? or like why isnt stevie here like he used to be....Like i no he has a gf n he'll want to spend time with her but i just want at least sometime to have some fun with him....
I dont want to steal him away and i dont want to get people angry but like yeah sure ilike him in tht way but i wouldnt never put tht before anything anf i just gave to get on with things even if it does hurt a little but like....hes my best friend before ANYTHING like hes like the only thing i have left since i lost alot of friends n stuff when my parents split n well i casnt have him hating be again....i mean i dcont understand it...
I used to phone him alot like every night and talk crap to him down the phone n iot was like yeah it was fun...and someome said to me...do u realise u only talk to him on the pohne when u phone him or tell him to phone u...and i kept thinking lioke...yeah when was the last time he phoned me just out of randomness like i do...or when was the last time he asked to meet me instead of me asking him....i try not to let tht bother me coz i really dont want to loose him as a friend....and like he'll probablyu read this and hate me but i jkust dont want to be all sad and not understand why....
...I dont want to and i cant loose my best friend....i try to make an effort but it doesnt seem to be good enough...like i fuck up....but doesnt everyone...and im not perfect ...but neither is anyone else.....i edunno.....i jsut....dont...understand it.