the stars are crying (for what we could have had) (6/13)
Title: the stars are crying (for what we could have had) (6/13)
Fandom: Merlin
Characters/Pairings: Arthur/Morgana, any and all other characters
Word Count: 7,051
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this stuff, because if I did ArMor would be canon.
Spoilers: Vague spoilers for all of Merlin series 3
Summary: (The sequel to "you and i are a story that never gets told") This is season 3, the way it should've been. Arthur has lost Morgana, and he is struggling to move on without her. Morgana is learning to master her powers with the help of her sister, but she can't stay away from Camelot forever... Once you set things into motion, everything can change.
Author's Notes: This episode is more annoying than I had remembered, so it took longer to write the chapter. Sorry for the wait!
Previous Installment: you and i are a story that never gets told
Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4
---
In the weeks after Morgana’s near death experience, Arthur was teetering between deciding to tell Morgana how he felt and finding a way to force himself to get over her. He couldn’t make up his mind, and Morgana wasn’t helping the situation.
After rekindling her friendship with Guinevere, Morgana seemed so much brighter, and Arthur felt he would blind himself if he looked at her for too long. She was happier, and it seemed that she had inadvertently forgiven him along with Gwen, and therefore she had no qualms about spending time with him.
He tried to avoid her, but she was always there, inviting him to come to the lake, or cornering him after a feast and teasing him about drinking too much. She didn’t know that he and Guinevere had decided to end things, and he couldn’t find the right way to tell her. It was getting to the point where Guinevere would glare at him in the halls, and Merlin kept giving him pointed looks whenever Morgana was near. It was quite frustrating.
Somehow, Arthur had ended up alone at dinner with Morgana one night. Uther had strangely been disappearing more and more often when Morgana was around, and he often skipped their ‘family’ meals. Morgana didn’t seem to mind, although Arthur expected she enjoyed the escape from his father.
As Morgana ate, she would smile at him over her food from time to time, using that sweet smile of hers that she reserved for him. Arthur had to dig his fingernails into his leg, trying to focus on something else.
Morgana started talking about her day, gushing about some encounter she had in the market earlier. She was going on about how the shopkeeper had been so sweet, and how they had given her some of their wares for free.
Arthur nodded intermittently, not truly listening. As her story continued, it became too much for him, and he snapped. “Morgana,” he interrupted. “I don’t really care.” He knew it was the wrong thing to say, but he couldn’t stop watching the way her mouth formed around the words as she spoke, and he had to do something to get her to stop.
Morgana pouted adorably, and it nearly broke Arthur’s heart. Her pout quickly shifted into a mask of anger, and she got up from her seat, leaving her dinner unfinished on the table. With a huff, she stormed off, not bothering to give him the courtesy of a goodbye.
As Morgana left, Merlin watched from the corner. He rolled his eyes and mumbled just loud enough for Arthur to hear, “Idiot.”
Arthur was still in a daze, staring at the spot where Morgana had been not five seconds before.
“Why don’t you just tell her how you feel?” Merlin asked.
“Because, I-” he stopped short and glared at his manservant. “Shut up, Merlin.”
Merlin cleared Morgana’s dishes, mumbling about how stupid Arthur was under his breath.
---
The next day marked the arrival of Lord Godwyn and his daughter, Princess Elena. Arthur went to meet them with his father, and received some rather unsettling news while he waited.
Uther had been talking for a while, and he finished, “Lord Godwyn is an ally of Camelot, and we thought, if you and Elena… Well, the strength of such a match between our kingdoms would be extremely beneficial.”
“Match?” Arthur asked.
“A permanent union, a way to cement our alliance,” Uther elaborated.
“You mean…” Arthur’s eyes widened and his gaze fell on Princess Elena as she approached. “Father, you can’t be serious.”
Uther nodded, smiling brightly despite Arthur’s reaction. “A marriage would be the perfect way.”
“Marriage?” Arthur spluttered, but he was ignored as his father walked away. He scanned the crowd, his eyes falling on Gwen and Morgana as they were animatedly greeting Princess Elena. He thought he might be sick.
---
Arthur instructed Merlin and Guinevere to help Lord Godwyn and Elena with their things. He was ruder than usual, snapping at Merlin for the silliest of things. Eventually Gwen pulled him aside, knowing him well enough to see that something was troubling him.
“What’s wrong, Arthur?”
Arthur stopped beside her in the hall, letting out a sigh. “It’s just-my father had this ridiculous idea. He expects me to marry Princess Elena.”
Gwen’s mouth dropped open slightly, surprised by the news. She struggled to find the right words, and eventually all that came out was, “I always thought he meant for you and…” She trailed off, but it was obvious what the rest of the sentence would have been.
Arthur chuckled darkly, the sound barely passing his lips. “As did I,” he admitted. He had always assumed he’d marry Morgana someday, even before he had the idea on his own. “I guess he changed his mind.”
Gwen lightly set her hand on his arm, trailing her fingers down over his wrist, leaving him with the comforting gesture.
Arthur was still trying not to scream.
---
By that night, Arthur was still complaining, and Merlin was stuck listening to it as he prepared Arthur for bed.
“She’s actually quite nice. A bit… unpolished, but nice,” Merlin interjected.
Arthur cut his eyes at Merlin. “The same could be said about you, Merlin, and it’s not like I want to marry you either.”
Merlin brought his hand to his chest, pretending to be wounded. As Arthur rolled his eyes, Merlin went back to fixing the bed, asking, “Are you sure the king really expects you to marry her? Maybe it was just a suggestion.”
Arthur huffed. “He said that he and Lord Godwyn have been planning this for years; I don’t think it was just a passing idea.”
Frowning, Merlin blurted, “But everyone thought that-”
“Yes, Merlin, I know.” Arthur grumbled.
Before Merlin could respond, Uther entered the room. He addressed Arthur, “I wish to speak with you. Alone.”
Merlin exited the room, leaving Arthur and his father to discuss things. He hovered out in the hall for a moment, listening to Uther lecture Arthur about the marriage, and his duties as a king. With a sigh, Merlin left to do his chores.
Inside the room, Arthur was sighing as well.
“You may one day be a husband, but more importantly, you will be a king, and you have a duty to your people,” Uther ranted.
“Yes, Father, I know, but there must be another way to provide for the people. Elena is not the only woman with whom a marriage would benefit Camelot,” Arthur reasoned. His head was throbbing, his ears ringing with one name in particular.
Uther narrowed his eyes, but chose to ignore his son’s statement. “Lord Godwyn is a powerful man, and a close friend. This alliance would provide safety and security to the kingdom.”
Arthur shook his head. “But I have no feelings for her, whatsoever.”
“Then I suggest you find some.”
---
The following morning, Arthur attempted to do as his father suggested, and spent time with Elena. He went on a ride with her, finding that she enjoyed beating him almost as much as Morgana did.
Elena was sweet, and he commiserated with her about losing her mother, but there was no spark between them. All he could think about as they talked was a small green eyed girl who had lost her father, huddling in dark corners and forcing him to find her. He always found her, and wouldn’t leave until he saw her smile again. There had been a spark then, right from the start. But not with Elena, and he ached from the lack of it.
Eventually they made their way back to Camelot, the silence palpable and uncomfortable. They arrived in the square, and Arthur helped Elena down from her horse.
“Thank you for today,” Elena said politely.
Arthur nodded in return.
Elena threw her arms around Arthur’s middle and awkwardly hugged him, mumbling something about seeing him soon.
From up in the castle, Morgana watched the scene from her window. Normally she would’ve laughed at Arthur’s predicament, but she knew that there was something more going on, and the sight bothered her.
Arthur could feel the heat of Morgana’s stare on his back, and he looked up to her window almost instinctively. He caught her eye, his heart suddenly hammering.
Morgana looked away, shutting her window.
---
In honor of Lord Godwyn visiting, Uther held a grand feast to welcome their visitors. The banquet hall was lavishly decorated, and the kitchen had prepared an extensive array of dishes for the meal.
Arthur was seated next to Elena, as he had expected. Morgana sat on his right, sandwiching him between the two women. He was originally grateful to have Morgana there as a distraction from Elena, but Morgana wouldn’t meet his gaze.
Still annoyed with Arthur for his rude treatment of her earlier in the week, Morgana didn’t feel up to conversing with him. She occasionally talked to Elena, leaning over in front of Arthur as she did.
Morgana’s hair tickled Arthur’s face as she bent across his lap, one of her arms propped on his chair for support. That all too familiar scent of lavender wafted through the air, and he held his breath.
Morgana giggled about something and reached further over Arthur to rest her fingers on Elena’s wrist. “It’s great to have you here, Elena.”
Elena nodded a bit too vigorously, nearly spilling her drink. She let out a small noise of exclamation and grabbed at her glass to steady it.
Morgana pulled her hand back, her shoulder brushing against Arthur’s chest as she moved.
Once Elena was distracted from her conversation with Morgana, she went back to eating, shoveling food into her mouth. She lacked any proper table manners, and chewed with her mouth open, causing chunks of food to fall from her lips and onto her dress. Elena picked up the bits of food stuck in the neckline of her dress, popping them into her mouth.
Arthur groaned quietly, but Morgana heard it. She turned and glared at him, still hovering in his space. “Arthur,” she chastised, her voice a low hiss. “Must you be rude to every person you meet?”
Arthur couldn’t come up with a response, not while she was so close to him. He swallowed, managing a small noise of disagreement.
Morgana huffed and lowered herself back into her seat.
Running a hand over his face, Arthur sighed and tried to focus on his food.
A few minutes later, when Elena was struck by a bout of hiccups, Morgana elbowed Arthur in the ribs, cutting off anything he might say.
He shot her an exasperated look, rubbing at the spot where she hit him. “Morgana, I didn’t do anything,” he groaned.
Morgana shrugged, the hint of a smirk on her lips. “I know you too well, Arthur.”
He narrowed his eyes at her, but he knew she was right.
As everyone finished their meals, the music started to play louder, and several people got up to dance, swept up in the celebrations. Arthur kept looking nervously over at Elena, who seemed equally unenthused at the thought of dancing. While they had both drank enough wine to lower their inhibitions, they still had the sense to fear what would happen if Elena tried to dance. Arthur’s feet hurt just from thinking about it.
Morgana noticed Arthur’s contemplation over Princess Elena and blew out a puff of air, frustrated with his childish behavior. She got up from her seat, intending on leaving the banquet hall and escaping this ridiculous spectacle. As she crossed the hall, weaving through the dancing couples, she felt something catch her wrist. She stopped, turning to find Arthur standing there.
Arthur’s fingers were wrapped loosely around Morgana’s wrist, and he tried to guide her off the dance floor, but Morgana wouldn’t move. They stood in the midst of a sea of swirling skirts and billowing robes, letting the world spin on around them.
Eventually someone bumped into Morgana, knocking her off balance. Arthur’s free hand shot out, grabbing her waist to steady her. With one hand on her wrist and one on her waist, they looked the part of any dancing couple, though their feet were glued to the ground.
“I’m sorry for how I acted before,” Arthur stated, unable to stand the silence any longer.
Morgana cocked an eyebrow, looking unimpressed by his apology.
“Truly, I am, Morgana. I don’t know what came over me.” It was a lie, of course; he knew exactly why he had done it, because the sight of her made him go a bit insane.
Morgana’s eyebrow sank back down, her expression slightly less hostile. She moved into him, forcing him to step backwards. After a beat, she stepped carefully to the side, bringing him with her.
Arthur moved with her, softly murmuring, “My father wants me to marry Princess Elena.”
Morgana nodded, spinning on her heel and pulling Arthur along. She had heard the whisperings and wasn’t surprised at the news.
Letting out a long breath, Arthur shook his head, the weight of responsibility crushing him. He longed to drop his head against Morgana’s shoulder and collapse in her arms. His relaxed his hold on her hip, his hand moving to rest on her lower back, lazily tracing his fingers along her spine.
Morgana continued to step back and to the side, falling into the rhythm of the music without fully realizing it.
“I do not love her,” Arthur remarked, though it was hardly a shocking bit of information.
Morgana caught his gaze, and there was a look to his eyes that she couldn’t quite decipher. It tickled on the edge of her consciousness, and it bothered her that she couldn’t read his every thought anymore. Eventually, she replied, “I’m sorry.” Then, adding almost as an addendum, “I’m sure this is hard for Gwen, as well.”
“Gwen?” Arthur asked, confused. He stumbled over his own feet, suddenly aware that he had been dancing. They had moved so fluidly, he hadn’t even noticed.
Arthur’s jerky movements broke their pattern, and Morgana stopped moving. With a cheerfulness that she didn’t feel, she chirped, “I’m sure it will all work out.”
Arthur blinked once, twice, and let go of Morgana’s hand, letting her escape the circle of his arms.
In a show of sympathy, Morgana patted his arm gently. For some inexplicable reason, she found herself raising up on her toes and leaning towards him. Her lips had nearly reached his cheek when a loud clatter reverberated through the hall and startled her. A servant had dropped a tray, and Morgana’s eyes went over to the scene, her brain slowly remembering the presence of everyone else in the hall.
From her spot at the table, Elena watched as Morgana untangled herself from Arthur and left the hall.
---
The next day, Morgana avoided everyone, choosing to stay in her room. It wasn’t that she disliked Elena or her father, but there was something that seemed off about the princess. The edges of her entire being almost rippled, and it hurt Morgana’s eyes to look at her for too long.
Besides that, there was the issue of Arthur. The idea of him marrying someone bothered her more than she let on, and she feared that she might say the wrong thing if she saw him. She knew that this wasn’t what he wanted, but he rarely defied his father. Unless she asked him to, of course; but that was before. She had no claim on him now, no right to ask him not to do this.
She sat on the edge of her bed, watching the flecks of dust swirl through the air as the light caught them. Arthur’s ring felt heavy against her chest, the weight threatening to suffocate her. It was foolish, but she wanted to run to his room and fling her arms around him, never to let him go.
Morgana never had been one to give in to her emotions, though, so she stayed where she was.
---
That night, Uther requested to dine with Arthur, and by extension, Morgana. It was clear that he organized the meal as a way to discuss things with Arthur, and Morgana was only included as an afterthought.
Morgana begrudgingly accepted, allowing Gwen to pin up her hair and do her makeup so that she’d be presentable. She had planned on having a quiet meal in her room, but she no longer had that option.
She arrived late, and both Uther and Arthur were already there. Arthur stood up when she entered, awkwardly stumbling over his chair in an attempt to be chivalrous.
Morgana’s lips quirked up into a smile at Arthur’s actions. She sat down in her chair across the table from Arthur. As her eyes landed on Uther, her smile immediately vanished.
They ate most of their meal in silence, the sound of silverware scraping against plates the only noise in the room.
Eventually, Arthur spoke up, though his voice was quiet. “Father, there is something we should discuss.”
Morgana could tell from Arthur’s tone that something was troubling him, but Uther was oblivious to his son’s feelings, hearing only what he wanted to hear. Uther beamed, his voice loud and excited as he exclaimed, “Your proposal! Excellent.”
Morgana could see the muscles twitching in Arthur’s cheek, and longed to reach for his hand.
Uther was still rambling, and he offhandedly commented, “You should make a fuss, women like that sort of thing, don’t they, Morgana?”
Morgana visibly flinched, unsettled by Uther’s astounding ignorance of the people around him. She muttered, “I wouldn’t know.”
Arthur’s eyes cut over to Morgana, his brow furrowing.
Uther continued to prattle on about Elena and the proposal and how wonderful it would be.
Morgana could feel that Arthur was intently watching her, and she mumbled quietly, “Elena really is quite lovely.”
Hearing Morgana’s voice shook Arthur out of his silence, and he finally gained the courage to speak. “I’m sure she’s a wonderful person, but I have no feelings for her.” He shook his head, dropping his gaze to his plate. “I cannot marry someone I don’t love.”
Uther set down his goblet and replied darkly, “You can, and you will.”
The words struck Morgana like a blow to the gut, and she felt as though she was going to be sick. She rose from her seat, excusing herself for the night.
---
Morgana barely slept that night, tossing and turning. For once it wasn’t prophetic dreams plaguing her sleep, but simple nightmares; mostly of Arthur, as usual. She awoke with his name on her lips and a thin sheen of sweat on her brow. Donning a cover, she took up her favorite spot by the window, counting the stars to pass the time.
She watched the sun rise over the city, the rays of light painting the sky a brilliant shade of red. As the sounds of the morning birds reached her ears, she stretched out her limbs and stood from the windowsill. She dressed herself, leaving her hair down in heavy ringlets. Once she was finished, she sat back by the window, watching the town come to life.
After another hour, Morgana could see Arthur and Merlin exiting the castle, and she found herself staring after Arthur, yet again. His hair looked mussed, and his mouth was drawn in a tight line. Even from her high vantage point, she could see the taut outline of the muscles in his back, and she knew he was tense.
There was a slight knock on the door, and Gwen entered, coming for her morning chores. Morgana immediately felt uncomfortable standing there watching Arthur, and she ducked away from the window.
Gwen took in Morgana’s appearance and smiled sadly at her. “Couldn’t sleep?” she asked, knowing the answer.
Morgana smiled in return, not bothering to respond.
Gwen set about making the bed and picking up the pieces of Morgana’s clothes that were strewn across the floor.
Morgana watched her maid for a moment, then took a breath and quietly said, “I’m sorry for everything that’s happening with Arthur. I know it can’t be easy.”
Gwen’s hands stilled, the linens hanging loosely from her fingers. She bit her lip, trying to find the right response. Releasing her lip, she breathed, “I’m fine, Morgana, really.”
“Gwen, if you’re hurting, it’s alright. You can tell me, I won’t mind.” Truthfully, she already felt like her stomach was riddled with knives, so she figured it wouldn’t hurt that much to add any more.
Guinevere shook her head, some of her unruly curls escaping the bun she had roughly tied up on her head. “Morgana, there’s something you should know.” She was tired of keeping things from Morgana. Arthur could lie to her all he wanted, but Gwen was done. On a rush of breath, she admitted, “Arthur and I… we called things off weeks ago.”
Morgana’s mouth fell open a fraction, her eyes widening from shock. Her throat felt dry, and her voice cracked as she asked, “Why?”
There were many reasons, but Gwen only provided, “We knew it could never be.” It was the truth, after all.
Forcing her head down into a nod, Morgana tried her best to look sympathetic, but it was difficult.
Gwen could tell that Morgana was relieved, but she knew that her relief was marred by the looming issue of Arthur’s potential marriage. “Morgana, you don’t need to worry.” Noticing the crinkle of confusion on Morgana’s brow, she added, “About Arthur and Elena.”
Morgana scoffed. “I’m not.”
Pursing her lips, Gwen gave Morgana a pointed look. She knew Morgana too well to buy that. As Morgana’s hard expression gave way into something softer, Gwen remarked, “Arthur always follows his heart. Perhaps not at first, but he’ll do the right thing.” Smiling, she added, “He learned it from you.”
Morgana shook her head in amusement, laughing under her breath. Gwen was sweet, but Morgana didn’t believe her. As much as she wished he wouldn’t, Arthur would do what his father asked of him.
But as Gwen left, Morgana strangely found herself leaving her room, searching after Arthur.
---
After pacing the halls multiple times, Morgana finally stopped at Arthur’s door, despite her better judgment. She didn’t bother to knock; she simply waltzed in like she had done a hundred times before.
“Morgana,” Arthur exclaimed, surprised to see her. His whole body itched with the desire to walk up to her, but he moved over to the window instead.
She tried to smile at him, but she couldn’t manage the action. “Arthur,” she replied. She sat on the edge of his table, studying him in the sunlight.
For a while, they remained motionless, the room filled with a crushing silence. Arthur’s eyes kept flicking back at Morgana every few seconds, though he tried to focus on the window.
Morgana swallowed the lump in her throat and looked up at Arthur, even though he wouldn’t meet her eyes. “Gwen told me the truth.” Her words broke like explosions in the still air.
Arthur stiffened, and he trained his eyes harder on the panes of glass.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Morgana asked, though she regretted the words as soon as she said them. It wasn’t really her business, she supposed.
Arthur didn’t have an answer for her. He tried to look at her, but his neck was too stiff, and his head wouldn’t turn.
When he didn’t respond, she had the sudden urge to scream, to tell him that she had heard him when she was dying; she knew, she knew, but she held her tongue.
Eventually he sighed, the sound echoing off the walls. “It doesn’t matter now.”
Morgana nodded, accepting the truth in his words. Trying to rectify the awkward situation, she quipped, “You know, I always thought that if Uther was to marry one of us off, it’d be me.”
Her comment brought no levity though, and Arthur continued to stare.
She let out a slow breath, wishing she could say something to fix this.
Arthur slowly turned to face her. He leaned heavy against the window, counting the breaths that Morgana took, watching the steady rise and fall of her chest. Quietly, he murmured, “Did you ever think it would be…”
Before he could finish, Morgana laughed, the noise a hollow and broken sound. “Of course I did, Arthur.” There was no use in denying it now.
He shook his head, wanting to laugh along with her. He remembered that day before everything went wrong, when he had dreamed of asking Morgana to marry him. That had been so very long ago. “How can I marry someone I don’t love?” he asked, his tone bordering on pleading.
Morgana’s first thought was to tell him that he shouldn’t do it-but she bit down on the inside of her cheek. She would let him do this on his own. “Sometimes love isn’t enough, Arthur. There are more important things.”
It was clear from the look on his face that he was torn. He nodded numbly, but his head was pounding.
The ring that Arthur had given her was burning at her throat, and Morgana reached back and unclasped the chain from around her neck. She let it drop into her hand, closing her fingers around it. Standing from the table, she moved towards him and held out her hand. “Here.”
Arthur looked confused, so Morgana grabbed his wrist and forced the ring into his hand.
“Uther knows nothing of women,” she told him, referring to the ridiculous ideas that his father had about the proposal. “Something simple and heartfelt is all she will need. Give her your mother’s ring, and she will accept your proposal with all that she has.”
Arthur blinked at her, the ring feeling cold against his palm. “Morgana,” he tried, but she was already leaving, closing the door behind her as she went.
---
The next day Arthur called for a gathering in the throne room, asking specifically for Elena’s presence. Everyone knew what it was for, and Morgana swallowed the bile that rose in her throat upon hearing about it.
Everyone poured into the hall, taking their places. Morgana stood with Gwen, and Arthur waited in the center for Elena’s arrival.
Elena walked in with her father, trying her best to remain elegant and poised as she moved.
Arthur took Elena by the hands as she reached the front, and he got down on one knee. He gave her a speech about wanting what was best for Camelot, and then hesitantly asked, “Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” The words caught in his throat, but he managed.
Morgana watched from over Elena’s shoulder, forcing out a smile as she heard Elena accept. She could feel Gwen’s comforting presence at her side, and she held it together.
Arthur only once looked behind Elena to meet Morgana’s gaze. It was only once, but he could still see the light catching her eyes, and for a moment, he thought he saw them glimmer with the wetness of tears.
---
After a tumultuous evening, during which Morgana had to avoid gushing, brain-addled maids who were enthralled by Arthur’s proposal, and sad-eyed court members who had hoped for Camelot’s ward to someday be Arthur’s queen, Morgana finally got some respite in her room. Guinevere undid Morgana’s hair, removing the pins and jewels, and then helped her into her nightclothes. Once she finished, she bid Morgana goodnight and left for her home.
Feeling exhausted, Morgana fell asleep almost immediately. The day’s events had been overwhelming, and she needed sleep to escape her constant stream of unpleasant thoughts.
Not long after she had drifted off, she could feel something pricking at her mind. There was a soft familiar hum, and even in her sleeping state, she recognized it. Morgana sprung up in bed, awakened by the call of magic. There was a powerful being in the castle, she could sense it.
Her curiosity got the better of her, and she slipped out of bed, intent on finding the source. There was a distinct trail of magic, and she could discern where it was heading. Picking up her skirts, she ran to Gaius’s chambers, throwing open Merlin’s door and waking him as soon as she arrived.
“Merlin!” Morgana yelled, too focused on getting his attention to be worried about being polite.
Before Merlin could comment on her rude awakening, a small ball of blue light entered the room. The creature eclipsed in the light sent a bolt of lightning at Merlin, causing him to fall out of bed.
Morgana recognized the creature as one of the Sidhe, the guardians of Avalon. For a moment she was almost excited to see one up close, but she quickly regained her sense of urgency. Raising a hand, she muttered a spell and sent the Sidhe creature hurtling backwards. She hadn’t harmed it in any way, but it was the only spell she could think of that would help.
Using the distraction to his benefit, Merlin reached under a floorboard and pulled out a long wooden staff. It was created from Sidhe magic, and he knew that it could be used to kill them.
Morgana tried her spell again, but the creature evaded her attacks. Thankfully, Merlin came to her rescue, wielding his staff.
Merlin fired several bolts from the staff, effectively destroying most of Gaius’s belongings in his attempts to kill the creature. Finally, he managed to hit the Sidhe creature, causing it to explode into little pieces.
As the dust settled, Morgana demanded, “What is going on?”
Merlin smiled sheepishly at her. “It’s a long story.”
Gaius and Merlin sat Morgana down and explained everything that had happened. They had discovered that Princess Elena was a changeling, which meant that she had been possessed by a Sidhe for her whole life, and would eventually lose herself entirely to the creature. It was all part of some elaborate plot to gain control of Camelot, which was not an unusual occurrence, and Morgana rolled her eyes when she heard it.
“So what do we do?” Morgana asked.
Merlin answered, “We have to get the Sidhe out of Elena. Gaius has a potion, but we have to figure out a way to get her to take it.”
“Her maidservant, Grunhilda, is a pixie, and she won’t be too keen on us thwarting the Sidhe’s plans,” Gaius added.
Morgana nodded slowly, coming up with a plan. If she could get Elena alone, there wouldn’t be a problem. Looking back and forth between Gaius and Merlin, she said, “I need you two to distract Grunhilda. I’m sure you can think of a way, Gaius.”
Gaius blushed with embarrassment.
Morgana’s lips turned up into a sly smile. “Let me deal with the Princess.”
---
The following day was the day of the wedding, not that Morgana was focusing on that. It was easier to distract herself with the problems of others, so she threw herself into trying to save Elena.
Gaius and Merlin had worked out a plan to trap Grunhilda. Gaius was the bait, and Merlin would be there for reinforcement. That left Morgana to give Elena the potion, which was easy in theory, but once the creature was forced out of Elena’s body, it could potentially be dangerous. She hoped that she’d be able to ward off the Sidhe long enough for Merlin to arrive and kill it.
Once the boys had successfully distracted Grunhilda, Morgana slipped past and knocked on the door of Elena’s chambers.
Elena opened the door, looking flushed. Her hair was in a state of disarray, and her expression was frantic. “Lady Morgana,” she greeted. “What are you doing here?”
Morgana smiled brightly. “I thought you might need a friend today. I know this must be stressful.”
Elena let out a long sigh and practically dragged Morgana into the room. “Oh, thank you. I’m such a mess; I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Morgana led Elena over to the bed and sat her down. “Here, let me help you.” She grabbed a hair brush and started working on the knots in Elena’s hair. She counted the minutes in her head, biding her time until Merlin would be close.
Sighing again, Elena bemoaned, “I can’t believe it’s my wedding day.”
For a second, Morgana lost her control of the brush, and it caught in the tangles, causing Elena to yelp. She muttered an apology and steadied her hands. As she brushed, she found herself saying, “Arthur is a good man. No matter how he may come across at times, I truly think he will make an excellent husband. I know he’ll make you happy.” The words burned on her tongue, though they were completely true.
“Yes, I know, but I don’t love him. And I know he doesn’t love me.”
Morgana breathed slowly in and out, calming her nerves. She set down the brush and took a seat beside Elena on the bed. She pulled the potion out of her pocket, clutching it in her fingers. “You’re just nervous.” She held out the potion to Elena. “Here, take this. It’ll make you feel better.”
Elena ignored the offer, not even bothering to glance at the bottle. She continued with her lament, “His heart belongs to someone else.”
“Elena…” Morgana tried, but there was nothing she could say.
Elena looked over at Morgana, and almost insightfully asked, “Is it right to marry a man who so clearly longs for another?”
Before Morgana could answer, the door flew open, and Merlin came barreling into the room. Without a word, he ran over and grabbed the potion from Morgana’s fingers. Tilting Elena’s head back, he poured the potion down her throat.
Elena fell back on the bed, writhing around as the potion took effect. Suddenly, she let out a scream, and the Sidhe was expelled from her body.
Merlin immediately raised his staff and fired, killing the creature.
Elena slowly sat up, a bemused expression on her face.
“Elena? Are you alright?” Morgana asked.
Grinning widely, Elena stood from the bed, proclaiming, “I feel amazing! I haven’t felt this good in years.”
Morgana and Merlin exchanged pleased looks with one another as Elena spun around in little circles.
Letting out a small gasp, Elena cried, “I have to get ready for my wedding!” She started searching around her room for things she would need, seemingly ignorant of Morgana and Merlin’s continued presence.
While Elena was distracted, Merlin looked to Morgana, seeing the pain behind her eyes as she watched Elena flit around. He quietly asked, “What are you going to do?”
With a sad smile, Morgana replied, “There’s nothing for me to do, Merlin.”
Merlin left the girls alone after that, allowing Morgana to help Elena prepare for the big event.
---
Arthur stood outside the Great Hall, feeling miserable. Inside the hall, people were all gathering for his wedding, chattering happily about how wonderful it was. He had never felt more uncomfortable in his life. He felt like a liar; he was planning on proclaiming his everlasting faithfulness to one woman in there, when he knew perfectly well that his heart had already strayed.
Merlin entered the room quietly behind Arthur. He handed Arthur his ceremonial sword, feeling just as displeased about this as the prince was. Arthur didn’t hide his misery well, and Merlin could see it plainly on his face. Out of courtesy, he asked Arthur, “What’s wrong?”
Arthur shook his head. “It’s just… it’s absolutely unbearable at times, knowing that I have this destiny that I can’t escape.”
Merlin chuckled darkly under his breath. “Destinies are troublesome things.” He knew that better than anyone.
Arthur felt as though his head might explode. He wanted to do what his father wished of him, but in the back of his mind, he kept hearing this voice, telling him to do what he thought was right, and to damn the consequences. Letting out a sigh, he turned to face Merlin. “Do you think I should marry her?”
“It’s not my decision to make.”
“Merlin,” Arthur implored. “Please.”
“If you want the truth…” He stared straight at Arthur. “I think you’re being an idiot, as usual. You love Morgana, but you won’t tell her, and now you’re marrying someone just because your father tells you, and honestly, I think you’re just going to miserable for the rest of your life.” Slowing his rant, he continued in a softer tone. “You have a choice, Arthur. This is not the only path, and I think you know that.”
The doors opened behind Arthur, and he knew it was time. He walked down the aisle, watching out of the corner of his eye as Morgana and Gwen bowed as he passed.
Morgana refused to look at Arthur, and she bit down on her cheek until the coppery taste of blood ran over her tongue. Elena came walking in soon after Arthur, and she looked absolutely beautiful. Morgana tried to smile, but her cheeks hurt too much to move.
Elena took her place next to Arthur, and Arthur took her hands in his.
As Geoffrey of Monmouth started the ceremony, Morgana could feel the pressure of magic burning behind her eyes, as though something inside her was rebelling against this. She shut her eyes tightly and pushed it down, finding Gwen’s hand at her side and grabbing it for support.
When Arthur was asked if it was his wish to be united with Elena, he looked back at Morgana for a brief moment, hoping for some kind of sign, but she wouldn’t meet his eye.
Geoffrey of Monmouth addressed the crowd, asking if anyone had a reason to contest the union. Morgana swayed on her feet, but she could feel Gwen squeezing her hand tightly and she kept quiet.
When the hall remained crushingly silent at the question, Arthur came to a realization. He had been hoping for someone else to stop this, someone to tell him what to decide, but that was ridiculous. He wasn’t a child anymore, and he had to make his own decisions. To hell with tradition. “Wait,” he called out, interrupting the ceremony.
Geoffrey looked confused, and he asked, “Is there something you’d like to say, Arthur?”
“Something I should’ve said a long time ago,” he muttered. He looked out into the crowd, his eyes falling on Morgana. “I cannot deny my feelings.”
Morgana swallowed, allowing herself to look back at Arthur.
Arthur turned to Elena, continuing his speech. “Elena, you are a wonderful woman, but there is another who holds my heart. I cannot marry you; it wouldn’t be fair to either of us.”
Elena smiled knowingly. “I understand.”
Gwen grinned brightly, tugging at Morgana’s fingers. Morgana turned to her friend and breathed a sigh of relief, the corners of her lips turning up in a proud smile.
---
Lord Godwyn and Princess Elena left for home the next day. The Princess was infinitely happier and more graceful than she had been when she arrived, and for that everyone was glad.
Uther, however, was furious, and made no attempts to hide it. He had reamed Arthur out after the failed wedding ceremony, ranting about how disappointed he was. Thankfully, Arthur felt sure of his decision, and he had stood up to his father, explaining that he would be a better king for having a woman he loved beside him.
While Uther tempered his fury in front of his guests, he still was displeased at the situation. Arthur had mentioned that his heart belonged to another and Uther was suspicious.
As Morgana bid Lord Godwyn and Elena farewell, she could feel the heat of someone’s gaze and noticed Uther eyeing her angrily. Ignoring him, she turned away. He may dislike her, but he had nothing to accuse her of, not yet.
---
After Lord Godwyn and his party left, Morgana made her way back to her chambers on her own, since Gwen was off doing chores. As she walked, she heard someone close behind her, and she turned to see Arthur shadowing her, as he had a tendency to do. She stopped and smiled at him. “Arthur. Is there something you wanted to say to me?”
Arthur laughed; he should’ve known she’d catch him. “I wanted to give you something, actually.” He reached into his pocket and grabbed something from inside. Lifting his hand, he produced his ring, still on her chain. He had never given it to Elena; he had simply kept it in his pocket for days.
Morgana shook her head in amusement.
“I believe this belongs to you,” Arthur stated, handing her the ring.
Playfully, Morgana said on a sigh, “I just can’t seem to get rid of it, can I?” It was obvious she was joking from the hint of a smile on her lips, despite her attempts to stay serious.
Arthur let his fingers linger over her palm, tracing the cool metal of the ring resting there. “Maybe you should stop trying.”
Smirking up at him, she quipped, “Where’s the fun in that?” She turned on her heel, attempting to leave.
“Morgana-”Arthur grabbed her wrist, spinning her back towards him. He pulled a little too hard, and she continued to spin until she nearly collided with his chest. She was closer than he had expected, and could feel the warmth of her breath on his neck.
Her eyes were sparkling with surprise from the force of his pull, and she smiled up at him.
Arthur could feel her chest brushing against his with every breath she took, and he found himself mesmerized by the rhythm, as he had been so many times before. Without fully recognizing what he was doing, he started to lean forward, bending his head down towards her.
Morgana felt the butterfly touch of his lips on hers, her eyes fluttering closed for half a second. Before it could become something deeper, though, she pulled back, grinning at him. She took a few steps backwards, watching his face. She clasped the chain around her neck as she moved, murmuring, “Thank you, Arthur.” Then with a smile, she was gone.
Next Chapter
Fandom: Merlin
Characters/Pairings: Arthur/Morgana, any and all other characters
Word Count: 7,051
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this stuff, because if I did ArMor would be canon.
Spoilers: Vague spoilers for all of Merlin series 3
Summary: (The sequel to "you and i are a story that never gets told") This is season 3, the way it should've been. Arthur has lost Morgana, and he is struggling to move on without her. Morgana is learning to master her powers with the help of her sister, but she can't stay away from Camelot forever... Once you set things into motion, everything can change.
Author's Notes: This episode is more annoying than I had remembered, so it took longer to write the chapter. Sorry for the wait!
Previous Installment: you and i are a story that never gets told
Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4
---
In the weeks after Morgana’s near death experience, Arthur was teetering between deciding to tell Morgana how he felt and finding a way to force himself to get over her. He couldn’t make up his mind, and Morgana wasn’t helping the situation.
After rekindling her friendship with Guinevere, Morgana seemed so much brighter, and Arthur felt he would blind himself if he looked at her for too long. She was happier, and it seemed that she had inadvertently forgiven him along with Gwen, and therefore she had no qualms about spending time with him.
He tried to avoid her, but she was always there, inviting him to come to the lake, or cornering him after a feast and teasing him about drinking too much. She didn’t know that he and Guinevere had decided to end things, and he couldn’t find the right way to tell her. It was getting to the point where Guinevere would glare at him in the halls, and Merlin kept giving him pointed looks whenever Morgana was near. It was quite frustrating.
Somehow, Arthur had ended up alone at dinner with Morgana one night. Uther had strangely been disappearing more and more often when Morgana was around, and he often skipped their ‘family’ meals. Morgana didn’t seem to mind, although Arthur expected she enjoyed the escape from his father.
As Morgana ate, she would smile at him over her food from time to time, using that sweet smile of hers that she reserved for him. Arthur had to dig his fingernails into his leg, trying to focus on something else.
Morgana started talking about her day, gushing about some encounter she had in the market earlier. She was going on about how the shopkeeper had been so sweet, and how they had given her some of their wares for free.
Arthur nodded intermittently, not truly listening. As her story continued, it became too much for him, and he snapped. “Morgana,” he interrupted. “I don’t really care.” He knew it was the wrong thing to say, but he couldn’t stop watching the way her mouth formed around the words as she spoke, and he had to do something to get her to stop.
Morgana pouted adorably, and it nearly broke Arthur’s heart. Her pout quickly shifted into a mask of anger, and she got up from her seat, leaving her dinner unfinished on the table. With a huff, she stormed off, not bothering to give him the courtesy of a goodbye.
As Morgana left, Merlin watched from the corner. He rolled his eyes and mumbled just loud enough for Arthur to hear, “Idiot.”
Arthur was still in a daze, staring at the spot where Morgana had been not five seconds before.
“Why don’t you just tell her how you feel?” Merlin asked.
“Because, I-” he stopped short and glared at his manservant. “Shut up, Merlin.”
Merlin cleared Morgana’s dishes, mumbling about how stupid Arthur was under his breath.
---
The next day marked the arrival of Lord Godwyn and his daughter, Princess Elena. Arthur went to meet them with his father, and received some rather unsettling news while he waited.
Uther had been talking for a while, and he finished, “Lord Godwyn is an ally of Camelot, and we thought, if you and Elena… Well, the strength of such a match between our kingdoms would be extremely beneficial.”
“Match?” Arthur asked.
“A permanent union, a way to cement our alliance,” Uther elaborated.
“You mean…” Arthur’s eyes widened and his gaze fell on Princess Elena as she approached. “Father, you can’t be serious.”
Uther nodded, smiling brightly despite Arthur’s reaction. “A marriage would be the perfect way.”
“Marriage?” Arthur spluttered, but he was ignored as his father walked away. He scanned the crowd, his eyes falling on Gwen and Morgana as they were animatedly greeting Princess Elena. He thought he might be sick.
---
Arthur instructed Merlin and Guinevere to help Lord Godwyn and Elena with their things. He was ruder than usual, snapping at Merlin for the silliest of things. Eventually Gwen pulled him aside, knowing him well enough to see that something was troubling him.
“What’s wrong, Arthur?”
Arthur stopped beside her in the hall, letting out a sigh. “It’s just-my father had this ridiculous idea. He expects me to marry Princess Elena.”
Gwen’s mouth dropped open slightly, surprised by the news. She struggled to find the right words, and eventually all that came out was, “I always thought he meant for you and…” She trailed off, but it was obvious what the rest of the sentence would have been.
Arthur chuckled darkly, the sound barely passing his lips. “As did I,” he admitted. He had always assumed he’d marry Morgana someday, even before he had the idea on his own. “I guess he changed his mind.”
Gwen lightly set her hand on his arm, trailing her fingers down over his wrist, leaving him with the comforting gesture.
Arthur was still trying not to scream.
---
By that night, Arthur was still complaining, and Merlin was stuck listening to it as he prepared Arthur for bed.
“She’s actually quite nice. A bit… unpolished, but nice,” Merlin interjected.
Arthur cut his eyes at Merlin. “The same could be said about you, Merlin, and it’s not like I want to marry you either.”
Merlin brought his hand to his chest, pretending to be wounded. As Arthur rolled his eyes, Merlin went back to fixing the bed, asking, “Are you sure the king really expects you to marry her? Maybe it was just a suggestion.”
Arthur huffed. “He said that he and Lord Godwyn have been planning this for years; I don’t think it was just a passing idea.”
Frowning, Merlin blurted, “But everyone thought that-”
“Yes, Merlin, I know.” Arthur grumbled.
Before Merlin could respond, Uther entered the room. He addressed Arthur, “I wish to speak with you. Alone.”
Merlin exited the room, leaving Arthur and his father to discuss things. He hovered out in the hall for a moment, listening to Uther lecture Arthur about the marriage, and his duties as a king. With a sigh, Merlin left to do his chores.
Inside the room, Arthur was sighing as well.
“You may one day be a husband, but more importantly, you will be a king, and you have a duty to your people,” Uther ranted.
“Yes, Father, I know, but there must be another way to provide for the people. Elena is not the only woman with whom a marriage would benefit Camelot,” Arthur reasoned. His head was throbbing, his ears ringing with one name in particular.
Uther narrowed his eyes, but chose to ignore his son’s statement. “Lord Godwyn is a powerful man, and a close friend. This alliance would provide safety and security to the kingdom.”
Arthur shook his head. “But I have no feelings for her, whatsoever.”
“Then I suggest you find some.”
---
The following morning, Arthur attempted to do as his father suggested, and spent time with Elena. He went on a ride with her, finding that she enjoyed beating him almost as much as Morgana did.
Elena was sweet, and he commiserated with her about losing her mother, but there was no spark between them. All he could think about as they talked was a small green eyed girl who had lost her father, huddling in dark corners and forcing him to find her. He always found her, and wouldn’t leave until he saw her smile again. There had been a spark then, right from the start. But not with Elena, and he ached from the lack of it.
Eventually they made their way back to Camelot, the silence palpable and uncomfortable. They arrived in the square, and Arthur helped Elena down from her horse.
“Thank you for today,” Elena said politely.
Arthur nodded in return.
Elena threw her arms around Arthur’s middle and awkwardly hugged him, mumbling something about seeing him soon.
From up in the castle, Morgana watched the scene from her window. Normally she would’ve laughed at Arthur’s predicament, but she knew that there was something more going on, and the sight bothered her.
Arthur could feel the heat of Morgana’s stare on his back, and he looked up to her window almost instinctively. He caught her eye, his heart suddenly hammering.
Morgana looked away, shutting her window.
---
In honor of Lord Godwyn visiting, Uther held a grand feast to welcome their visitors. The banquet hall was lavishly decorated, and the kitchen had prepared an extensive array of dishes for the meal.
Arthur was seated next to Elena, as he had expected. Morgana sat on his right, sandwiching him between the two women. He was originally grateful to have Morgana there as a distraction from Elena, but Morgana wouldn’t meet his gaze.
Still annoyed with Arthur for his rude treatment of her earlier in the week, Morgana didn’t feel up to conversing with him. She occasionally talked to Elena, leaning over in front of Arthur as she did.
Morgana’s hair tickled Arthur’s face as she bent across his lap, one of her arms propped on his chair for support. That all too familiar scent of lavender wafted through the air, and he held his breath.
Morgana giggled about something and reached further over Arthur to rest her fingers on Elena’s wrist. “It’s great to have you here, Elena.”
Elena nodded a bit too vigorously, nearly spilling her drink. She let out a small noise of exclamation and grabbed at her glass to steady it.
Morgana pulled her hand back, her shoulder brushing against Arthur’s chest as she moved.
Once Elena was distracted from her conversation with Morgana, she went back to eating, shoveling food into her mouth. She lacked any proper table manners, and chewed with her mouth open, causing chunks of food to fall from her lips and onto her dress. Elena picked up the bits of food stuck in the neckline of her dress, popping them into her mouth.
Arthur groaned quietly, but Morgana heard it. She turned and glared at him, still hovering in his space. “Arthur,” she chastised, her voice a low hiss. “Must you be rude to every person you meet?”
Arthur couldn’t come up with a response, not while she was so close to him. He swallowed, managing a small noise of disagreement.
Morgana huffed and lowered herself back into her seat.
Running a hand over his face, Arthur sighed and tried to focus on his food.
A few minutes later, when Elena was struck by a bout of hiccups, Morgana elbowed Arthur in the ribs, cutting off anything he might say.
He shot her an exasperated look, rubbing at the spot where she hit him. “Morgana, I didn’t do anything,” he groaned.
Morgana shrugged, the hint of a smirk on her lips. “I know you too well, Arthur.”
He narrowed his eyes at her, but he knew she was right.
As everyone finished their meals, the music started to play louder, and several people got up to dance, swept up in the celebrations. Arthur kept looking nervously over at Elena, who seemed equally unenthused at the thought of dancing. While they had both drank enough wine to lower their inhibitions, they still had the sense to fear what would happen if Elena tried to dance. Arthur’s feet hurt just from thinking about it.
Morgana noticed Arthur’s contemplation over Princess Elena and blew out a puff of air, frustrated with his childish behavior. She got up from her seat, intending on leaving the banquet hall and escaping this ridiculous spectacle. As she crossed the hall, weaving through the dancing couples, she felt something catch her wrist. She stopped, turning to find Arthur standing there.
Arthur’s fingers were wrapped loosely around Morgana’s wrist, and he tried to guide her off the dance floor, but Morgana wouldn’t move. They stood in the midst of a sea of swirling skirts and billowing robes, letting the world spin on around them.
Eventually someone bumped into Morgana, knocking her off balance. Arthur’s free hand shot out, grabbing her waist to steady her. With one hand on her wrist and one on her waist, they looked the part of any dancing couple, though their feet were glued to the ground.
“I’m sorry for how I acted before,” Arthur stated, unable to stand the silence any longer.
Morgana cocked an eyebrow, looking unimpressed by his apology.
“Truly, I am, Morgana. I don’t know what came over me.” It was a lie, of course; he knew exactly why he had done it, because the sight of her made him go a bit insane.
Morgana’s eyebrow sank back down, her expression slightly less hostile. She moved into him, forcing him to step backwards. After a beat, she stepped carefully to the side, bringing him with her.
Arthur moved with her, softly murmuring, “My father wants me to marry Princess Elena.”
Morgana nodded, spinning on her heel and pulling Arthur along. She had heard the whisperings and wasn’t surprised at the news.
Letting out a long breath, Arthur shook his head, the weight of responsibility crushing him. He longed to drop his head against Morgana’s shoulder and collapse in her arms. His relaxed his hold on her hip, his hand moving to rest on her lower back, lazily tracing his fingers along her spine.
Morgana continued to step back and to the side, falling into the rhythm of the music without fully realizing it.
“I do not love her,” Arthur remarked, though it was hardly a shocking bit of information.
Morgana caught his gaze, and there was a look to his eyes that she couldn’t quite decipher. It tickled on the edge of her consciousness, and it bothered her that she couldn’t read his every thought anymore. Eventually, she replied, “I’m sorry.” Then, adding almost as an addendum, “I’m sure this is hard for Gwen, as well.”
“Gwen?” Arthur asked, confused. He stumbled over his own feet, suddenly aware that he had been dancing. They had moved so fluidly, he hadn’t even noticed.
Arthur’s jerky movements broke their pattern, and Morgana stopped moving. With a cheerfulness that she didn’t feel, she chirped, “I’m sure it will all work out.”
Arthur blinked once, twice, and let go of Morgana’s hand, letting her escape the circle of his arms.
In a show of sympathy, Morgana patted his arm gently. For some inexplicable reason, she found herself raising up on her toes and leaning towards him. Her lips had nearly reached his cheek when a loud clatter reverberated through the hall and startled her. A servant had dropped a tray, and Morgana’s eyes went over to the scene, her brain slowly remembering the presence of everyone else in the hall.
From her spot at the table, Elena watched as Morgana untangled herself from Arthur and left the hall.
---
The next day, Morgana avoided everyone, choosing to stay in her room. It wasn’t that she disliked Elena or her father, but there was something that seemed off about the princess. The edges of her entire being almost rippled, and it hurt Morgana’s eyes to look at her for too long.
Besides that, there was the issue of Arthur. The idea of him marrying someone bothered her more than she let on, and she feared that she might say the wrong thing if she saw him. She knew that this wasn’t what he wanted, but he rarely defied his father. Unless she asked him to, of course; but that was before. She had no claim on him now, no right to ask him not to do this.
She sat on the edge of her bed, watching the flecks of dust swirl through the air as the light caught them. Arthur’s ring felt heavy against her chest, the weight threatening to suffocate her. It was foolish, but she wanted to run to his room and fling her arms around him, never to let him go.
Morgana never had been one to give in to her emotions, though, so she stayed where she was.
---
That night, Uther requested to dine with Arthur, and by extension, Morgana. It was clear that he organized the meal as a way to discuss things with Arthur, and Morgana was only included as an afterthought.
Morgana begrudgingly accepted, allowing Gwen to pin up her hair and do her makeup so that she’d be presentable. She had planned on having a quiet meal in her room, but she no longer had that option.
She arrived late, and both Uther and Arthur were already there. Arthur stood up when she entered, awkwardly stumbling over his chair in an attempt to be chivalrous.
Morgana’s lips quirked up into a smile at Arthur’s actions. She sat down in her chair across the table from Arthur. As her eyes landed on Uther, her smile immediately vanished.
They ate most of their meal in silence, the sound of silverware scraping against plates the only noise in the room.
Eventually, Arthur spoke up, though his voice was quiet. “Father, there is something we should discuss.”
Morgana could tell from Arthur’s tone that something was troubling him, but Uther was oblivious to his son’s feelings, hearing only what he wanted to hear. Uther beamed, his voice loud and excited as he exclaimed, “Your proposal! Excellent.”
Morgana could see the muscles twitching in Arthur’s cheek, and longed to reach for his hand.
Uther was still rambling, and he offhandedly commented, “You should make a fuss, women like that sort of thing, don’t they, Morgana?”
Morgana visibly flinched, unsettled by Uther’s astounding ignorance of the people around him. She muttered, “I wouldn’t know.”
Arthur’s eyes cut over to Morgana, his brow furrowing.
Uther continued to prattle on about Elena and the proposal and how wonderful it would be.
Morgana could feel that Arthur was intently watching her, and she mumbled quietly, “Elena really is quite lovely.”
Hearing Morgana’s voice shook Arthur out of his silence, and he finally gained the courage to speak. “I’m sure she’s a wonderful person, but I have no feelings for her.” He shook his head, dropping his gaze to his plate. “I cannot marry someone I don’t love.”
Uther set down his goblet and replied darkly, “You can, and you will.”
The words struck Morgana like a blow to the gut, and she felt as though she was going to be sick. She rose from her seat, excusing herself for the night.
---
Morgana barely slept that night, tossing and turning. For once it wasn’t prophetic dreams plaguing her sleep, but simple nightmares; mostly of Arthur, as usual. She awoke with his name on her lips and a thin sheen of sweat on her brow. Donning a cover, she took up her favorite spot by the window, counting the stars to pass the time.
She watched the sun rise over the city, the rays of light painting the sky a brilliant shade of red. As the sounds of the morning birds reached her ears, she stretched out her limbs and stood from the windowsill. She dressed herself, leaving her hair down in heavy ringlets. Once she was finished, she sat back by the window, watching the town come to life.
After another hour, Morgana could see Arthur and Merlin exiting the castle, and she found herself staring after Arthur, yet again. His hair looked mussed, and his mouth was drawn in a tight line. Even from her high vantage point, she could see the taut outline of the muscles in his back, and she knew he was tense.
There was a slight knock on the door, and Gwen entered, coming for her morning chores. Morgana immediately felt uncomfortable standing there watching Arthur, and she ducked away from the window.
Gwen took in Morgana’s appearance and smiled sadly at her. “Couldn’t sleep?” she asked, knowing the answer.
Morgana smiled in return, not bothering to respond.
Gwen set about making the bed and picking up the pieces of Morgana’s clothes that were strewn across the floor.
Morgana watched her maid for a moment, then took a breath and quietly said, “I’m sorry for everything that’s happening with Arthur. I know it can’t be easy.”
Gwen’s hands stilled, the linens hanging loosely from her fingers. She bit her lip, trying to find the right response. Releasing her lip, she breathed, “I’m fine, Morgana, really.”
“Gwen, if you’re hurting, it’s alright. You can tell me, I won’t mind.” Truthfully, she already felt like her stomach was riddled with knives, so she figured it wouldn’t hurt that much to add any more.
Guinevere shook her head, some of her unruly curls escaping the bun she had roughly tied up on her head. “Morgana, there’s something you should know.” She was tired of keeping things from Morgana. Arthur could lie to her all he wanted, but Gwen was done. On a rush of breath, she admitted, “Arthur and I… we called things off weeks ago.”
Morgana’s mouth fell open a fraction, her eyes widening from shock. Her throat felt dry, and her voice cracked as she asked, “Why?”
There were many reasons, but Gwen only provided, “We knew it could never be.” It was the truth, after all.
Forcing her head down into a nod, Morgana tried her best to look sympathetic, but it was difficult.
Gwen could tell that Morgana was relieved, but she knew that her relief was marred by the looming issue of Arthur’s potential marriage. “Morgana, you don’t need to worry.” Noticing the crinkle of confusion on Morgana’s brow, she added, “About Arthur and Elena.”
Morgana scoffed. “I’m not.”
Pursing her lips, Gwen gave Morgana a pointed look. She knew Morgana too well to buy that. As Morgana’s hard expression gave way into something softer, Gwen remarked, “Arthur always follows his heart. Perhaps not at first, but he’ll do the right thing.” Smiling, she added, “He learned it from you.”
Morgana shook her head in amusement, laughing under her breath. Gwen was sweet, but Morgana didn’t believe her. As much as she wished he wouldn’t, Arthur would do what his father asked of him.
But as Gwen left, Morgana strangely found herself leaving her room, searching after Arthur.
---
After pacing the halls multiple times, Morgana finally stopped at Arthur’s door, despite her better judgment. She didn’t bother to knock; she simply waltzed in like she had done a hundred times before.
“Morgana,” Arthur exclaimed, surprised to see her. His whole body itched with the desire to walk up to her, but he moved over to the window instead.
She tried to smile at him, but she couldn’t manage the action. “Arthur,” she replied. She sat on the edge of his table, studying him in the sunlight.
For a while, they remained motionless, the room filled with a crushing silence. Arthur’s eyes kept flicking back at Morgana every few seconds, though he tried to focus on the window.
Morgana swallowed the lump in her throat and looked up at Arthur, even though he wouldn’t meet her eyes. “Gwen told me the truth.” Her words broke like explosions in the still air.
Arthur stiffened, and he trained his eyes harder on the panes of glass.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Morgana asked, though she regretted the words as soon as she said them. It wasn’t really her business, she supposed.
Arthur didn’t have an answer for her. He tried to look at her, but his neck was too stiff, and his head wouldn’t turn.
When he didn’t respond, she had the sudden urge to scream, to tell him that she had heard him when she was dying; she knew, she knew, but she held her tongue.
Eventually he sighed, the sound echoing off the walls. “It doesn’t matter now.”
Morgana nodded, accepting the truth in his words. Trying to rectify the awkward situation, she quipped, “You know, I always thought that if Uther was to marry one of us off, it’d be me.”
Her comment brought no levity though, and Arthur continued to stare.
She let out a slow breath, wishing she could say something to fix this.
Arthur slowly turned to face her. He leaned heavy against the window, counting the breaths that Morgana took, watching the steady rise and fall of her chest. Quietly, he murmured, “Did you ever think it would be…”
Before he could finish, Morgana laughed, the noise a hollow and broken sound. “Of course I did, Arthur.” There was no use in denying it now.
He shook his head, wanting to laugh along with her. He remembered that day before everything went wrong, when he had dreamed of asking Morgana to marry him. That had been so very long ago. “How can I marry someone I don’t love?” he asked, his tone bordering on pleading.
Morgana’s first thought was to tell him that he shouldn’t do it-but she bit down on the inside of her cheek. She would let him do this on his own. “Sometimes love isn’t enough, Arthur. There are more important things.”
It was clear from the look on his face that he was torn. He nodded numbly, but his head was pounding.
The ring that Arthur had given her was burning at her throat, and Morgana reached back and unclasped the chain from around her neck. She let it drop into her hand, closing her fingers around it. Standing from the table, she moved towards him and held out her hand. “Here.”
Arthur looked confused, so Morgana grabbed his wrist and forced the ring into his hand.
“Uther knows nothing of women,” she told him, referring to the ridiculous ideas that his father had about the proposal. “Something simple and heartfelt is all she will need. Give her your mother’s ring, and she will accept your proposal with all that she has.”
Arthur blinked at her, the ring feeling cold against his palm. “Morgana,” he tried, but she was already leaving, closing the door behind her as she went.
---
The next day Arthur called for a gathering in the throne room, asking specifically for Elena’s presence. Everyone knew what it was for, and Morgana swallowed the bile that rose in her throat upon hearing about it.
Everyone poured into the hall, taking their places. Morgana stood with Gwen, and Arthur waited in the center for Elena’s arrival.
Elena walked in with her father, trying her best to remain elegant and poised as she moved.
Arthur took Elena by the hands as she reached the front, and he got down on one knee. He gave her a speech about wanting what was best for Camelot, and then hesitantly asked, “Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” The words caught in his throat, but he managed.
Morgana watched from over Elena’s shoulder, forcing out a smile as she heard Elena accept. She could feel Gwen’s comforting presence at her side, and she held it together.
Arthur only once looked behind Elena to meet Morgana’s gaze. It was only once, but he could still see the light catching her eyes, and for a moment, he thought he saw them glimmer with the wetness of tears.
---
After a tumultuous evening, during which Morgana had to avoid gushing, brain-addled maids who were enthralled by Arthur’s proposal, and sad-eyed court members who had hoped for Camelot’s ward to someday be Arthur’s queen, Morgana finally got some respite in her room. Guinevere undid Morgana’s hair, removing the pins and jewels, and then helped her into her nightclothes. Once she finished, she bid Morgana goodnight and left for her home.
Feeling exhausted, Morgana fell asleep almost immediately. The day’s events had been overwhelming, and she needed sleep to escape her constant stream of unpleasant thoughts.
Not long after she had drifted off, she could feel something pricking at her mind. There was a soft familiar hum, and even in her sleeping state, she recognized it. Morgana sprung up in bed, awakened by the call of magic. There was a powerful being in the castle, she could sense it.
Her curiosity got the better of her, and she slipped out of bed, intent on finding the source. There was a distinct trail of magic, and she could discern where it was heading. Picking up her skirts, she ran to Gaius’s chambers, throwing open Merlin’s door and waking him as soon as she arrived.
“Merlin!” Morgana yelled, too focused on getting his attention to be worried about being polite.
Before Merlin could comment on her rude awakening, a small ball of blue light entered the room. The creature eclipsed in the light sent a bolt of lightning at Merlin, causing him to fall out of bed.
Morgana recognized the creature as one of the Sidhe, the guardians of Avalon. For a moment she was almost excited to see one up close, but she quickly regained her sense of urgency. Raising a hand, she muttered a spell and sent the Sidhe creature hurtling backwards. She hadn’t harmed it in any way, but it was the only spell she could think of that would help.
Using the distraction to his benefit, Merlin reached under a floorboard and pulled out a long wooden staff. It was created from Sidhe magic, and he knew that it could be used to kill them.
Morgana tried her spell again, but the creature evaded her attacks. Thankfully, Merlin came to her rescue, wielding his staff.
Merlin fired several bolts from the staff, effectively destroying most of Gaius’s belongings in his attempts to kill the creature. Finally, he managed to hit the Sidhe creature, causing it to explode into little pieces.
As the dust settled, Morgana demanded, “What is going on?”
Merlin smiled sheepishly at her. “It’s a long story.”
Gaius and Merlin sat Morgana down and explained everything that had happened. They had discovered that Princess Elena was a changeling, which meant that she had been possessed by a Sidhe for her whole life, and would eventually lose herself entirely to the creature. It was all part of some elaborate plot to gain control of Camelot, which was not an unusual occurrence, and Morgana rolled her eyes when she heard it.
“So what do we do?” Morgana asked.
Merlin answered, “We have to get the Sidhe out of Elena. Gaius has a potion, but we have to figure out a way to get her to take it.”
“Her maidservant, Grunhilda, is a pixie, and she won’t be too keen on us thwarting the Sidhe’s plans,” Gaius added.
Morgana nodded slowly, coming up with a plan. If she could get Elena alone, there wouldn’t be a problem. Looking back and forth between Gaius and Merlin, she said, “I need you two to distract Grunhilda. I’m sure you can think of a way, Gaius.”
Gaius blushed with embarrassment.
Morgana’s lips turned up into a sly smile. “Let me deal with the Princess.”
---
The following day was the day of the wedding, not that Morgana was focusing on that. It was easier to distract herself with the problems of others, so she threw herself into trying to save Elena.
Gaius and Merlin had worked out a plan to trap Grunhilda. Gaius was the bait, and Merlin would be there for reinforcement. That left Morgana to give Elena the potion, which was easy in theory, but once the creature was forced out of Elena’s body, it could potentially be dangerous. She hoped that she’d be able to ward off the Sidhe long enough for Merlin to arrive and kill it.
Once the boys had successfully distracted Grunhilda, Morgana slipped past and knocked on the door of Elena’s chambers.
Elena opened the door, looking flushed. Her hair was in a state of disarray, and her expression was frantic. “Lady Morgana,” she greeted. “What are you doing here?”
Morgana smiled brightly. “I thought you might need a friend today. I know this must be stressful.”
Elena let out a long sigh and practically dragged Morgana into the room. “Oh, thank you. I’m such a mess; I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Morgana led Elena over to the bed and sat her down. “Here, let me help you.” She grabbed a hair brush and started working on the knots in Elena’s hair. She counted the minutes in her head, biding her time until Merlin would be close.
Sighing again, Elena bemoaned, “I can’t believe it’s my wedding day.”
For a second, Morgana lost her control of the brush, and it caught in the tangles, causing Elena to yelp. She muttered an apology and steadied her hands. As she brushed, she found herself saying, “Arthur is a good man. No matter how he may come across at times, I truly think he will make an excellent husband. I know he’ll make you happy.” The words burned on her tongue, though they were completely true.
“Yes, I know, but I don’t love him. And I know he doesn’t love me.”
Morgana breathed slowly in and out, calming her nerves. She set down the brush and took a seat beside Elena on the bed. She pulled the potion out of her pocket, clutching it in her fingers. “You’re just nervous.” She held out the potion to Elena. “Here, take this. It’ll make you feel better.”
Elena ignored the offer, not even bothering to glance at the bottle. She continued with her lament, “His heart belongs to someone else.”
“Elena…” Morgana tried, but there was nothing she could say.
Elena looked over at Morgana, and almost insightfully asked, “Is it right to marry a man who so clearly longs for another?”
Before Morgana could answer, the door flew open, and Merlin came barreling into the room. Without a word, he ran over and grabbed the potion from Morgana’s fingers. Tilting Elena’s head back, he poured the potion down her throat.
Elena fell back on the bed, writhing around as the potion took effect. Suddenly, she let out a scream, and the Sidhe was expelled from her body.
Merlin immediately raised his staff and fired, killing the creature.
Elena slowly sat up, a bemused expression on her face.
“Elena? Are you alright?” Morgana asked.
Grinning widely, Elena stood from the bed, proclaiming, “I feel amazing! I haven’t felt this good in years.”
Morgana and Merlin exchanged pleased looks with one another as Elena spun around in little circles.
Letting out a small gasp, Elena cried, “I have to get ready for my wedding!” She started searching around her room for things she would need, seemingly ignorant of Morgana and Merlin’s continued presence.
While Elena was distracted, Merlin looked to Morgana, seeing the pain behind her eyes as she watched Elena flit around. He quietly asked, “What are you going to do?”
With a sad smile, Morgana replied, “There’s nothing for me to do, Merlin.”
Merlin left the girls alone after that, allowing Morgana to help Elena prepare for the big event.
---
Arthur stood outside the Great Hall, feeling miserable. Inside the hall, people were all gathering for his wedding, chattering happily about how wonderful it was. He had never felt more uncomfortable in his life. He felt like a liar; he was planning on proclaiming his everlasting faithfulness to one woman in there, when he knew perfectly well that his heart had already strayed.
Merlin entered the room quietly behind Arthur. He handed Arthur his ceremonial sword, feeling just as displeased about this as the prince was. Arthur didn’t hide his misery well, and Merlin could see it plainly on his face. Out of courtesy, he asked Arthur, “What’s wrong?”
Arthur shook his head. “It’s just… it’s absolutely unbearable at times, knowing that I have this destiny that I can’t escape.”
Merlin chuckled darkly under his breath. “Destinies are troublesome things.” He knew that better than anyone.
Arthur felt as though his head might explode. He wanted to do what his father wished of him, but in the back of his mind, he kept hearing this voice, telling him to do what he thought was right, and to damn the consequences. Letting out a sigh, he turned to face Merlin. “Do you think I should marry her?”
“It’s not my decision to make.”
“Merlin,” Arthur implored. “Please.”
“If you want the truth…” He stared straight at Arthur. “I think you’re being an idiot, as usual. You love Morgana, but you won’t tell her, and now you’re marrying someone just because your father tells you, and honestly, I think you’re just going to miserable for the rest of your life.” Slowing his rant, he continued in a softer tone. “You have a choice, Arthur. This is not the only path, and I think you know that.”
The doors opened behind Arthur, and he knew it was time. He walked down the aisle, watching out of the corner of his eye as Morgana and Gwen bowed as he passed.
Morgana refused to look at Arthur, and she bit down on her cheek until the coppery taste of blood ran over her tongue. Elena came walking in soon after Arthur, and she looked absolutely beautiful. Morgana tried to smile, but her cheeks hurt too much to move.
Elena took her place next to Arthur, and Arthur took her hands in his.
As Geoffrey of Monmouth started the ceremony, Morgana could feel the pressure of magic burning behind her eyes, as though something inside her was rebelling against this. She shut her eyes tightly and pushed it down, finding Gwen’s hand at her side and grabbing it for support.
When Arthur was asked if it was his wish to be united with Elena, he looked back at Morgana for a brief moment, hoping for some kind of sign, but she wouldn’t meet his eye.
Geoffrey of Monmouth addressed the crowd, asking if anyone had a reason to contest the union. Morgana swayed on her feet, but she could feel Gwen squeezing her hand tightly and she kept quiet.
When the hall remained crushingly silent at the question, Arthur came to a realization. He had been hoping for someone else to stop this, someone to tell him what to decide, but that was ridiculous. He wasn’t a child anymore, and he had to make his own decisions. To hell with tradition. “Wait,” he called out, interrupting the ceremony.
Geoffrey looked confused, and he asked, “Is there something you’d like to say, Arthur?”
“Something I should’ve said a long time ago,” he muttered. He looked out into the crowd, his eyes falling on Morgana. “I cannot deny my feelings.”
Morgana swallowed, allowing herself to look back at Arthur.
Arthur turned to Elena, continuing his speech. “Elena, you are a wonderful woman, but there is another who holds my heart. I cannot marry you; it wouldn’t be fair to either of us.”
Elena smiled knowingly. “I understand.”
Gwen grinned brightly, tugging at Morgana’s fingers. Morgana turned to her friend and breathed a sigh of relief, the corners of her lips turning up in a proud smile.
---
Lord Godwyn and Princess Elena left for home the next day. The Princess was infinitely happier and more graceful than she had been when she arrived, and for that everyone was glad.
Uther, however, was furious, and made no attempts to hide it. He had reamed Arthur out after the failed wedding ceremony, ranting about how disappointed he was. Thankfully, Arthur felt sure of his decision, and he had stood up to his father, explaining that he would be a better king for having a woman he loved beside him.
While Uther tempered his fury in front of his guests, he still was displeased at the situation. Arthur had mentioned that his heart belonged to another and Uther was suspicious.
As Morgana bid Lord Godwyn and Elena farewell, she could feel the heat of someone’s gaze and noticed Uther eyeing her angrily. Ignoring him, she turned away. He may dislike her, but he had nothing to accuse her of, not yet.
---
After Lord Godwyn and his party left, Morgana made her way back to her chambers on her own, since Gwen was off doing chores. As she walked, she heard someone close behind her, and she turned to see Arthur shadowing her, as he had a tendency to do. She stopped and smiled at him. “Arthur. Is there something you wanted to say to me?”
Arthur laughed; he should’ve known she’d catch him. “I wanted to give you something, actually.” He reached into his pocket and grabbed something from inside. Lifting his hand, he produced his ring, still on her chain. He had never given it to Elena; he had simply kept it in his pocket for days.
Morgana shook her head in amusement.
“I believe this belongs to you,” Arthur stated, handing her the ring.
Playfully, Morgana said on a sigh, “I just can’t seem to get rid of it, can I?” It was obvious she was joking from the hint of a smile on her lips, despite her attempts to stay serious.
Arthur let his fingers linger over her palm, tracing the cool metal of the ring resting there. “Maybe you should stop trying.”
Smirking up at him, she quipped, “Where’s the fun in that?” She turned on her heel, attempting to leave.
“Morgana-”Arthur grabbed her wrist, spinning her back towards him. He pulled a little too hard, and she continued to spin until she nearly collided with his chest. She was closer than he had expected, and could feel the warmth of her breath on his neck.
Her eyes were sparkling with surprise from the force of his pull, and she smiled up at him.
Arthur could feel her chest brushing against his with every breath she took, and he found himself mesmerized by the rhythm, as he had been so many times before. Without fully recognizing what he was doing, he started to lean forward, bending his head down towards her.
Morgana felt the butterfly touch of his lips on hers, her eyes fluttering closed for half a second. Before it could become something deeper, though, she pulled back, grinning at him. She took a few steps backwards, watching his face. She clasped the chain around her neck as she moved, murmuring, “Thank you, Arthur.” Then with a smile, she was gone.
Next Chapter