you and i are a story that never gets told (10/13)
Title: you and i are a story that never gets told (10/~13)
Fandom: Merlin
Characters/Pairings: Arthur/Morgana, any and all other characters
Word Count: 6,801
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this stuff, because if I did ArMor would be canon.
Spoilers: Vague spoilers for all of Merlin series 2
Summary: Perhaps there was another way, if only it had gone a little different at the start. How it should've been, aka Series 2 the proper way.
Author's Notes: Hmm my longest chapter! And it took the longest, fair enough I guess. Enjoy the angst.
Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8
---
As night fell in Camelot, there was a disturbance on the grounds. Morgana was sleeping peacefully through it all, the sound of the rain from outside her window lulling her into a dreamless night for once. However, the sound of the warning bells reverberated through her room and woke her from her resting state.
There was something on the air, Morgana could sense it. She knew that Arthur would be awake and dealing with the trouble in the city. It was comforting, and she attempted to rest. As she began to close her eyes once more, she heard her door open, and immediately sprang awake.
Her eyes adjusted to the darkness, and her sense of alert was alleviated by the sight in front of her. Beaming at her intruder, she whispered joyfully, “Mordred!”
The child smiled in return and walked over to the bed to embrace his protector from so long ago.
Cradling his face in her hands, Morgana gushed, “I thought I’d never see you again.”
Out of the darkness appeared another intruder, a man slightly older than Morgana. He spoke up, explaining, “I found the boy wandering in the woods, lost and alone, hunted by Uther’s men.”
Her attention suddenly diverted, Morgana dropped her hands from Mordred’s face, questioning, “Who are you?”
“I am Alvarr,” the man replied. “I too have been hunted by Uther since I was a child.”
The man’s plight was one that she understood, and she accepted that he was not a threat. She softened, prompting him, “You have magic.”
“Yes, my lady.”
Morgana nodded in understanding. “I am truly sorry. I too have known Uther’s cruelty.”
Alvarr stared at her, surprised by her admission. “Magic is not a crime. It is a gift.” Seeing that he had Morgana’s rapt attention, he added, “I wish to walk free and without fear. The boy said you would understand.”
Remembering then that Mordred was there, Morgana turned to him. “What are you doing in Camelot? You take a great risk in coming here.”
Alvarr responded for the boy, “We came to see you.”
Mordred smiled sweetly at Morgana in agreement with Alvarr’s statement.
Morgana returned the smile, but there was an uneasy feeling settling in her gut.
---
Merlin had awoken before the bells had even sounded, the sounds of voices echoing through his skull. The main voice was eerily familiar, but he couldn’t quite grasp it. He left his bed and followed the sounds until they grew louder, and it rung through his mind as clear as day. Mordred.
His fear of what the young sorcerer would do only intensified upon hearing the boy’s words. Mordred was headed to Morgana’s chambers, and he was not alone.
Running as fast as he could, Merlin navigated the halls trying to reach Morgana’s room. As he reached the main corridor, he was thrown roughly against a wall, his ability to breathe choked off by a large hand.
The hand belonged to Arthur, who asked, “Merlin?”
Gasping against the vice around his throat, Merlin tried to speak. “Mor-Morgana.”
Recognizing the word, Arthur immediately released his manservant. “What?” he demanded.
Merlin rubbed at his throat and rasped, “They’re in Morgana’s chambers.”
Without wasting another second, Arthur turned and bolted in the direction of Morgana’s chambers, Merlin and several guards close behind.
---
Morgana rose from her bed, bringing Mordred with her. “Alvarr, I understand that you want your freedom, but you cannot stand up against Uther. He has an army at his disposal.”
“It does not matter how many you are, if you have a weapon powerful enough at your disposal.” Alvarr looked pointedly at Mordred, and the sight frightened Morgana. “When I was a child, my parents told me of a crystal. It was taken from a sorceress in the Great Purge. Uther stole the crystal and now keeps it here, locked away in Camelot.”
Morgana recalled hearing about the thousands of magical items stored in the vaults below the castle, but she had never seen it. However, she did know one thing. “The vaults are impregnable,” she explained. “You could never get it out.”
Alvarr nodded almost imperceptibly. “No, I could not.” He paused before elaborating, “But you could.”
---
As Arthur reached Morgana’s door, he listened for a moment with his ear against the wood to see if he could hear any noises inside. When he heard nothing, he violently kicked the door down and stormed in, prepared to save Morgana from any attackers.
When Arthur broke in, Morgana was wrapped up in her bedcovers, looking scandalized at the intrusion. Internally she was torn, partly relieved that she had successfully hidden Mordred and his friend, and partly guilty for tricking Arthur. She saw the guards pour into her room behind the prince and felt a bit more reassured in her decision, knowing that they would have no choice but to arrest the intruders.
As Arthur looked around the room with a puzzled look on his face, Morgana cried, “Arthur, what are you doing in here?”
“I…” Arthur spun around, looking adorably lost. “I had reason to believe there was an intruder in here.”
“Right now, Arthur, the only intruder in here is you.” Morgana quipped, feeling slightly guiltier at his wounded expression.
“Morgana, I…” He shook his head, remembering that he was not alone. “Perhaps if I could just search your chambers-”
“Arthur, do you really think if there was someone in my room I wouldn’t know about it?” The lie rung in her ears, and she had to bite down on her tongue afterwards to stop from giving anything away. She caught Merlin’s eyes from across the room and noticed that he looked mildly suspicious. She didn’t like the way his gaze seemed to burn through her, so she looked back at Arthur instead.
Arthur cleared his throat, feelings like a fool. “I’m sorry, Morgana, for the intrusion.” He turned to the guards and signaled for them to leave. “Continue the search,” he ordered as they left.
Merlin remained standing by the door until Arthur coughed obnoxiously, expressing his desire for Merlin to leave. Merlin reluctantly obeyed, glancing back at Morgana with betrayal in his eyes as he went.
After Merlin left, Arthur shut the door and walked over to where Morgana lay. “I really am sorry. I’ll fix your door, I promise.”
She smiled at him, despite her nerves swarming through her chest. “Yes, I’d appreciate that. What caused you to come barging in here that way?”
He sat down on her bed beside her. “It was all Merlin’s fault. He had some ridiculous notion that the intruders were in here.”
“Merlin?” There was no way Merlin had just happened upon Mordred and Alvarr on their journey; there was something more behind it.
Arthur mistook her surprise for something else and clarified, “And I was worried about you, too.”
Smiling, she kissed him softly on the cheek. “Thank you.”
Sensing that all was forgiven, Arthur beamed at her, feeling better about his mistake. His smile slowly turned into a smirk, and he murmured, “You know, I could stay here with you tonight. Protect you in case the intruders find their way here after all.”
Morgana laughed quietly, her cheeks turning red. If only she didn’t have two druids hiding in her closet… “Arthur,” she chastised, pushing at his shoulder.
He chuckled, leaning in to drop a kiss on her bare shoulder.
His soft blonde hair brushed against her cheek as he kissed a path up the column of her neck, lavishing his attention on her jaw line. Morgana bit down on her lip to keep from sighing, fearing that someone could be watching. Regretfully, she placed her hands on his chest, pushing him back.
Arthur frowned at the loss of contact. He brought his hand up and encircled one of hers, pulling it away from his chest and holding it tightly.
Forcing herself not to give in, Morgana reminded him, “Shouldn’t you be looking for the intruders? You know the rest of the knights are hopeless without you.” She hoped that the padding of his ego would be enough encouragement.
A frustrated sighed loosed itself from Arthur’s chest. “I suppose you’re right. As always.” He smiled at her, unconsciously rubbing his thumb across the back of her hand.
“I wouldn’t want to keep you from your duty.” If he didn’t leave soon, she was sure that she would snap.
He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed her palm before releasing her hand from his grasp. “Breakfast, then?”
She nodded in agreement, mostly just to end the conversation.
Satisfied with the promise of seeing her in a few hours, Arthur stood up from her bed and crossed the room. He stared at the broken lock on the door for a few seconds before shaking his head and leaving.
Morgana waited until she heard his footsteps recede down the hall before signaling Mordred and Alvarr to come out.
“We owe you our lives,” Alvarr said.
Morgana pushed back her sheets and stepped out onto the floor. “You’re safe for now, but you must go. Uther will kill you if he finds you.”
“And you will help us?” Alvarr asked, expectantly.
Morgana wanted desperately to say no, but Mordred was there tugging at her sleeve.
The boy begged, “Please, Morgana, we need you.”
“You are the king’s ward, and you clearly are close with the prince.” The statement conveyed volumes, and Morgana resisted the urge to glare. “It would be easy for you to gain access to the crystal, and no one would suspect you,” Alvarr insisted. He was staring at her in a way that made her uncomfortable, but it was clear that he was not backing down.
Morgana debated it in her head. The crystal was originally owned by a sorcerer, would it do such harm to return it to the people to whom it truly belonged? Uther kept so many things locked away; surely not all of them were dangerous. She looked down into the massive expanses of Mordred’s pleading blue eyes and gave in, ignoring the worry she felt. “Yes, of course I will.”
---
The following morning, Morgana was so wrapped up in her plans and worries that she completely forgot about breakfast with Arthur. Her mind was buzzing with thoughts of how she would get the crystal, and then smuggle it out of Camelot. She still was unsure if this was the right decision, and therefore her brain was far too filled to remember something as mundane as a morning meal.
Arthur, however, did remember, and sought out Morgana after she failed to appear at his chambers to eat with him. He found her walking in the hallway near her chambers, looking conflicted about something. She was staring at her feet, so he took the opportunity to duck into an alcove and hide from view.
Morgana was still wrapped up in her thoughts when she was grabbed by someone and abruptly dragged into a small opening in the wall. Her instinctive gasp was smothered by a warm and hungry mouth as it covered hers, devouring her cries. Her first impulse was to resist, but as his mouth slanted over hers, she felt the familiar slide of a tongue across her teeth and recognized her assailant. She shoved him back to break the kiss, her fear simmering into a tempered rage as she noticed the smug face of Arthur Pendragon in front of her.
He slowly leaned away, smiling as though he had achieved something impressive.
Morgana stomped on his foot, desperate to stop him from smiling. “What are you doing?” she hissed.
His smile morphed into a grimace at the pain and he shook his foot to regain some feeling in it. “You missed breakfast,” he explained.
She cocked an eyebrow at him. “And that is cause for dragging me in here?”
Arthur’s grin was downright lascivious. “I figured you owed me.”
Her glare would’ve leveled lesser men. “Arthur, I swear, you are such a brute sometimes, you could’ve-”
Her rant was swallowed by his mouth as he drew her in once more. His right hand fisted in her hair, dragging her impossibly closer.
She desperately wanted to shove him off and ruin his moment, but the feel of his lips on hers was making her dizzy. The heady feeling rolling through her body was enough to knock her off her feet, and she pitched forward in his arms, clutching at his shoulders to keep upright.
Arthur felt her falling further into his embrace, and it spurred him further. His kisses were ravenous as he sucked the breath from her lungs, never once breaking free from her luscious lips.
The force of his passion was jolting, and Morgana foggily recognized the magnitude of his desire for her, and what that meant. Her fingers dug into his shoulders harder, fervently grasping the material of his shirt in her hands.
He could feel her struggling to hold on, and he felt the same. It was as though he was falling off a steep precipice, and he was terrified of hitting the bottom. He couldn’t possibly let her go. With his free hand, he encircled her waist, his hand getting lost in yards of silk as he grabbed at her hip and held her fast.
As Arthur pulled her in, Morgana arched her back, inadvertently rocking her hips forward. She lost all sense of reason with him and let her instinct take over. Normally she would be afraid of this sense of reckless abandon, but nothing felt wrong when she was in his arms.
The feeling of Morgana’s hips brushing against his own was enough to make Arthur break the kiss, groaning against her lips as he pulled away to breathe. “Morgana,” he murmured huskily, his brain drowning in lust.
Morgana gasped for breath, suddenly feeling foolish for getting caught up in the moment. She slowly unclenched her fingers and dropped her hands from his shoulders. “Are you satisfied now?” she breathily whispered.
Chuckling, he answered in low tones, his voice still raspy as he struggled to regain control. “Not exactly.”
She made a noise of shock and hit him on the arm. If the alcove had been larger, she would’ve moved away from him, but she was stuck. “Well, that should be payment enough for breakfast, I’d think.”
He smirked. “I don’t know; it was a pretty good breakfast.”
Scoffing in annoyance, she stepped out into the hallway, done with their conversation. “Have a good day, Arthur.”
He laughed and leaned out to stare at her as she walked away. “Let me know if you want to skip dinner too!” he yelled after her.
She whipped her head around to glare teasingly at him before turning and leaving with a flip of her hair.
---
Later in the day when Morgana was sure Arthur would be out training, she snuck into his chambers. He had the keys that would grant her access to the vault and he kept them in his room for safekeeping. She scanned the room, her eyes falling on the cabinet beside his bed.
As she neared the drawer that she knew held the keys, her hands began to shake. She felt guilty for betraying Arthur this way, but what choice did she have? If she told him of her plans he would try to stop her, and she couldn’t risk that. Mordred had asked this of her, and she would grant that boy most anything. She could not shake the connection she felt to him, and therefore she felt obliged to do this simple task if it was what he needed.
Swallowing to wet her dry mouth, she gathered up her courage and pulled open the drawer. She rifled through until she found the keys and slipped them into her hand. As she was closing the drawer, she caught the faint sound of the door opening and spun around to face whoever it was.
She bit down on her lip, frustrated that it wasn’t Arthur. With a false cheerfulness, she greeted, “Merlin!”
He cocked his head at her, that same suspicious look from the night before on his face. “Lady Morgana. What are you doing in here?”
“I was looking for Arthur.” The lie was flimsy, and she knew it wouldn’t hold up.
“He’s at training, like he always is at this time,” Merlin replied, his tone conveying his disbelief.
Morgana laughed lightly, as though she was embarrassed by her mistake. “Right, of course.” She carefully slipped the keys down her sleeve to hide them.
Merlin’s eyes narrowed and he took a step towards her. “Morgana.” He said her name with an air of authority, though he dared not voice the reprimands running through his mind.
She set her mouth in a hard line, assessing the boy in front of her. She knew that there was more than met the eye with him, and he obviously suspected that she was up to something. Even though they were gradually getting back to a place of trust, something was holding Morgana back from telling him about this. She quickly broke out into a smile, with a look that said ‘you caught me’ on her face. “Alright, truthfully, I was in here to steal something of Arthur’s. He did something this morning,” she smirked pointedly, “and I wanted to get a little revenge.”
“You wanted to steal something?” It was clear he wasn’t convinced, but his tone had softened.
Refusing to stop once she had started, she laughed. “Well, it’s not my most original plan, but perhaps if I took his favorite jacket, or his lucky dagger…” She shrugged. “What can I say, Merlin, I don’t like letting Arthur win.”
Merlin nodded slowly. “Well, I’m sure he’ll blame me for losing whatever it is you take.”
Grinning, Morgana reached over and grabbed a silver ring off of Arthur’s nightstand. “This will do.” She slipped it onto her finger, mentally making a note to bring it back later. “Don’t worry, Merlin, it’ll be fine.” She patted his shoulder before leaving the room.
His eyes followed her as she slipped out into the hall, fearing that something bad was about to happen.
---
After the sun went down and the castle had gone dark, Morgana snuck out of her chambers, wrapped in her long green cloak. She had the keys grasped tightly in her hand as she crept down the stairs to the caverns below the castle. At the sound of footsteps approaching, she ducked behind a corner. Several guards passed by on their rounds, and Morgana watched as they receded down the hall. Once they were gone, she grabbed a torch off of the wall and used it to light her way. As she reached the vault door, she took a deep steadying breath and slipped the key into the lock.
The door unlocked, and she pushed it open slowly. Holding the torch out in front of her, she slipped inside. The vault was covered in cobwebs, and the walls were lined with shelves up to the ceiling, all filled with magical objects.
The vault was eerily quiet, and the sound of her heels clacking against the floor reverberated off the walls. She came upon a second door and unlocked it, revealing a large crystal resting on a pillow. Gingerly, she picked it up and tucked it under her cloak. She swallowed down her feelings of guilt and hastily made her way back to her chambers.
---
Morgana waited until long after the warning bells had sounded and Gwen had gone home to finally look at the crystal again. She pulled it out of her armoire and stared at it, praying that this was the right choice. She set it down on the table, forcing herself to focus on the task at hand. Stripping out of her nightclothes, she put on a dress and donned a long cloak. She pinned her hair to the side and slipped on a pair of boots.
Once she was ready, she picked up the crystal and began to tuck it inside a pocket in her cloak. As she moved, she heard the tinkling of something falling to the floor. She bent over for closer inspection and found that it was Arthur’s ring. She had completely forgotten it was even on her finger. Picking it up with a sigh, she brought it over to her armoire. For a moment she considered leaving it, but she couldn’t seem to do it. She grabbed a chain from her jewelry box and strung it through the ring before bringing it up to clasp around her neck. The metal was cool against her skin, but it was oddly comforting to have the slight weight resting there. Steeling her nerves, she brought up her hood and began her journey.
---
It was nearly light out by the time Morgana reached her destination. The camp was in Cenred’s lands, and she had to be cautious. She dismounted and tied her horse to a tree before entering the camp.
Morgana had only taken a few steps when an enthusiastic Mordred called out her name and rushed to hug her. She tucked the boy tightly against her and dropped a kiss to his head.
Alvarr was not far behind the boy, and he held out his hand expectantly.
Reluctantly, Morgana pulled out the crystal and placed it into Alvarr’s outstretched hand. A crystal seemed so harmless, but she was nervous.
Alvarr was extremely pleased, and he asked for Morgana to stay and warm up with something to drink before her journey back to Camelot.
Nodding in acceptance, Morgana went over to sit by the fire, unaware that a pair of prying eyes was watching her from the bushes.
A drink in hand, Alvarr came over to where Morgana sat on a log. He handed the mug to her before sitting down next to her. “Hopefully in time, Mordred will master the crystal. And then we will strike down Uther, and all who serve him.”
Morgana froze, her hands clutching the mug tighter than before. “All who serve him?” Her mind was filled with thoughts of Arthur, and she brought one hand up to her neck to grasp the ring on her necklace.
“If we are to win this war, there can be no half measures.” When he noticed Morgana staring off uncomfortably, he added, “I see this troubles you.”
“Yes. Yes, it does,” Morgana replied. “There are good people in Camelot. Uther is the tyrant, but there are others, those who would support the return of magic.”
“My lady, we fight for our very survival, we cannot take any risks,” Alvarr explained.
Morgana shook her head, still desperately holding on to the ring at her neck. “Without Uther as king, his son would take the throne. He is a good man; he will not fail you like his father.”
“I would think you would understand better than most, my lady. You have magic; you must know what it is like.”
Shocked, she dropped her hand from her throat.
Alvarr clarified, “The boy, he told me.”
She nodded slowly.
“You have a greater part to play in this than you know, Morgana. There are prophecies that the druids speak of, prophecies about you.”
“Me?” she squeaked. He couldn’t possibly be right.
He nodded, a look of confidence on his face. “They say that you are destined to bring back the old ways. You will return magic to this land.”
A bout of nervous laughter escaped her lips. “You must be mistaken.”
Alvarr reached out and laid a hand over her wrist. “If we succeed in this war, you will be able to lead us to a better future. You will be able to live out your life free of fear, and you will never be alone again.”
She remembered the feeling of Arthur’s arms around her, and knew that she wasn’t alone, but she didn’t say anything. She smiled gratefully and quietly spoke, “I should be heading back. The castle will be waking soon.” She stood up from the log and handed the mug back to Alvarr.
Taking the drink from her hands, he remarked, “Farewell then, my Lady Morgana. Hopefully our paths will cross again.”
Morgana smiled and turned to find her horse. She fingered the ring around her neck again before mounting her horse to head back home, feeling more conflicted than ever.
---
The next day, Gaius held a meeting with Uther and explained that he had heard news of the whereabouts of the man who had stolen the crystal. Uther immediately assigned Arthur to inspect the area, and Morgana’s heart stopped. She didn’t want to see Mordred hurt, and she knew that Arthur would have no choice but to capture the boy. She also knew that if Arthur was unlucky, Alvarr would most certainly kill him. Either option terrified her, and she desperately wanted to do something to stop it from happening.
After the meeting, Morgana tried to catch up with Arthur, but her path was blocked by Merlin. She pushed at his shoulder and tried to move past him. “Sorry Merlin, but I need to speak with-”
Merlin stood his ground and interrupted in hushed tones, “I know you stole the crystal, Morgana.”
She had known it was a possibility, but it didn’t stop her from freezing in terror. This could ruin everything. “Merlin…” She grabbed him by the arm and pulled him along until she came upon an empty room where they could talk without being overheard.
Once they were inside, Merlin spoke up again. “I know you did it for the druid boy, Mordred.”
Her eyes narrowed at that. “Have you been spying on me, Merlin?”
“I’ve been doing it for your own good, Morgana. I know you care for the boy, but he’s more dangerous than you know.”
Morgana barked out a harsh laugh. “Mordred? He’s just a child, Merlin.”
Merlin shook his head at her stubbornness. “He has great power, and he will grow to do terrible things.”
“How could you possibly know that?” she snapped. When it came to Mordred, she felt like a protective mother.
He didn’t trust her enough to reveal his secret discussions with Kilgharrah. As far as Morgana knew, dragons were extinct. “I can’t explain it, Morgana. But if you care about Arthur at all, you’ll stay away from Mordred.”
“What does Arthur have to do with this?” Her tone was still angry, but it was clear from her eyes that she was worried.
It was dangerous to know what the future held, Merlin knew that. He blew out a slow breath, trying to remain calm. “Just, trust me, Morgana.”
She scoffed, “Trust you? You who claims to be my friend, yet spies on me behind my back? I suppose you’re the one who told Gaius about the crystal’s whereabouts, too.”
“I had to. It was the only way,” he admitted.
Chuckling darkly to herself, she murmured, “No, it wasn’t. You could’ve come to me; you could’ve told me the whole story. Instead you skulk around and then come in here with accusations that you can’t seem to support.”
“Morgana, please,” Merlin begged.
“How can I trust you when you so clearly refuse to pay me the same respect?” She shook her head, feeling exhausted and betrayed. “I won’t see Mordred again, Merlin. But I don’t think I want to see you anymore, either.” Her eyes pricked with tears; the revelation of his deceit was causing her heart to break. She roughly pushed past him, hurriedly walking out of the room.
---
Still on the verge of tears, Morgana ran all the way to Arthur’s room. She threw open the door and found him preparing for his mission.
He stopped when he heard her at the door and snapped his head up to look at her. He knew Morgana better than anyone, and he could sense that she was in pain. “What’s wrong?”
She felt her resolve breaking down, and a tear rolled down her cheek. “Don’t go on this mission, Arthur.”
Arthur’s lips began to quirk up in a smile at that. “Are you worried about me?”
Shutting her eyes against the tears, she shook her head. “I am, but… Arthur you have to listen to me, I did something, I…”
He maneuvered around the table and came to stand in front of her. He soothingly ran his hands over her upper arms. “It’s alright, Morgana. You can tell me.”
“Arthur, it was me,” she whispered.
His hands stilled, confused by her admission. “What?”
More tears escaped her eyes and she damned her weak emotions. “I stole the crystal.” She waited for his angry explosion, but it never came. He was staring wide-eyed at her, patiently waiting for an explanation. She continued, “It was the druid boy, Arthur. He came to me and asked for my help.”
His head dropped minutely in a nod, still listening.
“They needed the crystal. He asked me to steal it for them.” Anger welled up inside of her and she blurted, “It’s not fair that they live in fear just because they have magic.” Calming down, she drew her lip into her mouth and worried it for a moment before asking, “Can you forgive me?”
Finally he spoke. “So the other night, you were hiding them in your room, weren’t you?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“And you stole my keys?” he asked.
Morgana nodded.
“Uther was furious with me for that.” He didn’t care what Uther thought of him, but it still stung to be considered a failure.
“I’m sorry, Arthur,” she cried.
He dropped his hands from where they were still resting on her arms. “You should’ve told me, Morgana.”
She felt cold without his hands to warm her and wrapped her arms tightly around her middle. “I know.”
Arthur shook his head and snorted in derision. “You can’t keep doing this, Morgana. You can’t keep things from me.” He ran his fingers roughly through his hair, sighing in exasperation. “I’m on your side! I love you, remember?”
Unable to stop from crying, Morgana only nodded.
Arthur turned away from her. “I’m still going on the mission, Morgana. I know you did what you thought was right, but that crystal could be dangerous. I have to protect my people.”
She could tell that it was the prince speaking, and not her Arthur, but there was nothing she could do. “And the boy?”
Arthur looked back at her over his shoulder. “I’ll do what I can.”
---
Waiting for Arthur to return was one of the worst things Morgana had ever gone through. She paced for hours by the window, hoping for a glimpse of the men over the walls of the castle. Gwen had stopped asking what was wrong after the tenth time, since she never received an answer.
When Morgana finally caught sight of them, she stopped pacing and stared out of the window. She didn’t know what she wanted, but she knew that she needed to see that Arthur was safe. Thankfully, she saw his horse and his telltale blonde hair as he rode into the square. Her sigh of relief got caught in her throat, however, for she saw someone else with the riders. A man in chains with a familiar face. Morgana dropped her head into her hands. Alvarr was doomed to an unpleasant fate.
---
Morgana was present for the sentencing, hoping that Uther would possibly show Alvarr mercy. However, Alvarr confessed to his crimes, admitting freely that he had plotted against Camelot. When Uther asked if he had acted alone, Alvarr said yes, refusing to condemn Morgana as well.
The guilt was crushing her, for she could feel Alvarr’s eyes on her, as well as Arthur’s and Merlin’s. They all were protecting her, and she was too much of a coward to tell the truth. It would do no good at this point.
Uther turned away from the accused. “You are an enemy of Camelot, Alvarr. You are sentenced to death.”
“Then I die with honor. To be an enemy of Camelot is no crime.” As the guards hauled Alvarr to his feet, he sneered, “You, Uther, are the criminal.”
Morgana glared over at Uther as the guards carried Alvarr out of the room, the rest of the council following soon after.
Arthur watched Morgana warily, but left with his men, knowing he could not speak to her now.
Morgana signaled for the last of the guards to leave, shutting the doors with them. The room was empty now save for her and Uther. She turned on him slowly, inquiring, “How many more must you kill before you’re satisfied?”
Uther shook his head and turned around to face his ward. “He was guilty, he confessed his crimes, Morgana. This man was a sworn foe of Camelot.”
She scoffed. “Is it any wonder he wanted you dead? You who have persecuted his kind day after day, year after year?”
“I will hear no more of this, Morgana!” Uther yelled.
“Because you’re an arrogant fool! You are deaf and blind to the very needs of the people you profess to serve and protect!” She couldn’t stop herself and continued to rant, “The people will tolerate it no longer!”
Uther stormed across the room towards her. “I said enough!”
“They are rising up against you!” She watched as Uther’s movements stilled. Her fury abating, she muttered, “From this day forward, I do not know you. From this day forward, I disown you.” She pushed past him and walked towards the door.
Uther bellowed from behind her, “You will go to your chambers!”
Morgana froze at the door, her outstretched hands clutching the wood to hold in her rage. “And you, Uther,” she murmured as she turned her head to face him, “You will go to hell.” She opened the door and left, slamming it shut behind her.
---
Merlin sat down to eat dinner with Gaius that night, with deep rooted fears swimming through his mind. He had wielded the crystal out in the woods after they had retrieved it, and he had seen terrible things.
“Merlin? What’s the matter?” Gaius asked.
“It’s the crystal. It harbors a terrible power, Gaius.”
“It’s locked away now, it can do no harm.” Gaius studied Merlin and hesitantly queried, “Unless the damage has already been done.”
“I held it. I knew I shouldn’t, but…” He shook his head. “I couldn’t resist it.” The visions that he saw in the crystal were running through his mind. Camelot was burning, and there were flashes of people he cared about; Morgana was lying on the floor, dead in someone’s arms, and Arthur was screaming. He saw Camelot fall. “I saw things, terrible things.”
“Then you have already paid the price,” Gaius remarked.
Merlin shook his head, “What I saw has not yet come to pass. And I am scared, Gaius, I’m really scared of what the future may hold.”
Gaius knew that this was only one possible future, and he comforted the boy. “The future is as yet unshaped, Merlin. It is we that shape it. It is you, Merlin. The decisions you make, the actions you take. Remember that.”
---
Morgana was still fuming over her conversation with Uther and she was seriously considering devising an escape plan for Alvarr. Uther would know it was her, though, and she knew that he wouldn’t think twice about locking her up as punishment. Or possibly having her put to death, he had considered it before.
A knock came at her door, and Morgana went to answer it. Arthur was there, looking worried.
“Can I come in?” he asked.
Morgana stepped out of the way and let him inside.
He could tell she was upset with him. “I did everything I could, Morgana. The boy, he’s safe, as far as I know.”
She nodded brusquely. “Thank you.”
From her clipped tones, it was obvious that his attempts were not enough. Years of being around Morgana had taught him to read her body language and her moods. She wanted him to do more. He dropped his head, looking down at the floor. “I can’t save him, Morgana.”
“You mean you won’t.”
He could feel her gaze boring holes in his skin. “You’re right, I won’t.” He lifted his head to meet her eyes. “He is not as innocent as you would believe. He slaughtered several of my men, and he would’ve done the same to me.”
“And I suppose you harmed no one? He’s fighting for his freedom,” Morgana retorted.
Arthur ignored her jab at him and continued, “That doesn’t change his actions. He is a killer, Morgana, and he would see this kingdom destroyed.”
She stared him down, her residual anger from her fight with Uther coming back to the surface. “You’re siding with Uther, then? What happened to being on my side?”
“I am, Morgana! This is your side; you’re just too stubborn to see it,” he insisted.
Morgana let out a sharp, barking laugh.
“It’s not black and white, remember that? You made me see that not all magic is bad, but not all of it is good, either.” He exhaled loudly, his frustration apparent. “This man has done horrible things; he is a bandit, a murderer. Why do you blindly support his actions? You know what he has done is wrong, Morgana.”
She refused to see reason; it was too difficult to move past her anger. “I stole the crystal, should I pay for it with my life as well?”
He forcefully expelled a sigh from his chest. “That is not the same. You didn’t harm anyone, not intentionally.”
“And what if I did?” she challenged, jutting her chin out at him in defiance.
“Then I would stop you.” He took a step closer to her, peering down into her green eyes. “Because you asked me to.”
She huffed angrily and shoved at his chest. “Get out, Arthur.” A part of her knew that he was right, but she couldn’t admit it out loud.
He took a step back, recognizing that he would not get through to her, not tonight. “You cannot save him, Morgana.”
She desperately wanted to scream, to smash everything in her room, but she knew Arthur would stop her. “I said get out.” Something was biting into the palm of her hand, and she looked down to find that she had been squeezing the ring around her neck again. It irritated her that she had become so dependent on this small piece of Arthur, especially when she was arguing with him. She ripped it off of her neck and called out, “Wait.”
Arthur stopped before he reached the door and turned to face her.
Morgana thrust out her hand towards him, the ring still pressed firmly against her palm.
He strode back over to where she stood and held out his hand to take whatever she was offering.
She let the chain drop through her fingers and allowed it hang for a few agonizing seconds before completely dropping the ring into his hand.
Arthur studied it for a moment before recognition set in, and he looked up at Morgana in confusion. “My ring. I thought I had lost it.”
“I took it the other day.” At his questioning look, she shrugged, having no further explanation for him.
He closed his fingers around the ring. “It was my mother’s.”
Morgana’s face softened a little. “I’m sorry.” She was only apologizing for the ring, but it felt like it was for so much more.
He shook his head, laughing to himself. “Don’t be.” He left out that he had considered giving her the ring a million times before; he wanted someone he loved to have it.
She watched his hand intently as he opened it and spun the ring around with his thumb before closing his fingers once more.
Understanding that her earlier request for him to leave was still in place, he tore his eyes away from her face and walked towards the door. His hand stilled as it reached for the doorknob, and he pleaded, “Don’t shut me out, Morgana.” Without giving her a chance to respond, he opened the door and stepped out into the hall. He left the door opened as he walked away, and his footsteps echoed throughout Morgana’s room.
Once his footsteps had faded, Morgana moved across the room to shut her door. As she neared the door, she noticed something on the handle. She carefully picked it up, and a poignant smile crossed her lips. He had left the ring there for her.
Taking a deep breath, she put it back around her neck.
Next Chapter
Fandom: Merlin
Characters/Pairings: Arthur/Morgana, any and all other characters
Word Count: 6,801
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this stuff, because if I did ArMor would be canon.
Spoilers: Vague spoilers for all of Merlin series 2
Summary: Perhaps there was another way, if only it had gone a little different at the start. How it should've been, aka Series 2 the proper way.
Author's Notes: Hmm my longest chapter! And it took the longest, fair enough I guess. Enjoy the angst.
Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8
---
As night fell in Camelot, there was a disturbance on the grounds. Morgana was sleeping peacefully through it all, the sound of the rain from outside her window lulling her into a dreamless night for once. However, the sound of the warning bells reverberated through her room and woke her from her resting state.
There was something on the air, Morgana could sense it. She knew that Arthur would be awake and dealing with the trouble in the city. It was comforting, and she attempted to rest. As she began to close her eyes once more, she heard her door open, and immediately sprang awake.
Her eyes adjusted to the darkness, and her sense of alert was alleviated by the sight in front of her. Beaming at her intruder, she whispered joyfully, “Mordred!”
The child smiled in return and walked over to the bed to embrace his protector from so long ago.
Cradling his face in her hands, Morgana gushed, “I thought I’d never see you again.”
Out of the darkness appeared another intruder, a man slightly older than Morgana. He spoke up, explaining, “I found the boy wandering in the woods, lost and alone, hunted by Uther’s men.”
Her attention suddenly diverted, Morgana dropped her hands from Mordred’s face, questioning, “Who are you?”
“I am Alvarr,” the man replied. “I too have been hunted by Uther since I was a child.”
The man’s plight was one that she understood, and she accepted that he was not a threat. She softened, prompting him, “You have magic.”
“Yes, my lady.”
Morgana nodded in understanding. “I am truly sorry. I too have known Uther’s cruelty.”
Alvarr stared at her, surprised by her admission. “Magic is not a crime. It is a gift.” Seeing that he had Morgana’s rapt attention, he added, “I wish to walk free and without fear. The boy said you would understand.”
Remembering then that Mordred was there, Morgana turned to him. “What are you doing in Camelot? You take a great risk in coming here.”
Alvarr responded for the boy, “We came to see you.”
Mordred smiled sweetly at Morgana in agreement with Alvarr’s statement.
Morgana returned the smile, but there was an uneasy feeling settling in her gut.
---
Merlin had awoken before the bells had even sounded, the sounds of voices echoing through his skull. The main voice was eerily familiar, but he couldn’t quite grasp it. He left his bed and followed the sounds until they grew louder, and it rung through his mind as clear as day. Mordred.
His fear of what the young sorcerer would do only intensified upon hearing the boy’s words. Mordred was headed to Morgana’s chambers, and he was not alone.
Running as fast as he could, Merlin navigated the halls trying to reach Morgana’s room. As he reached the main corridor, he was thrown roughly against a wall, his ability to breathe choked off by a large hand.
The hand belonged to Arthur, who asked, “Merlin?”
Gasping against the vice around his throat, Merlin tried to speak. “Mor-Morgana.”
Recognizing the word, Arthur immediately released his manservant. “What?” he demanded.
Merlin rubbed at his throat and rasped, “They’re in Morgana’s chambers.”
Without wasting another second, Arthur turned and bolted in the direction of Morgana’s chambers, Merlin and several guards close behind.
---
Morgana rose from her bed, bringing Mordred with her. “Alvarr, I understand that you want your freedom, but you cannot stand up against Uther. He has an army at his disposal.”
“It does not matter how many you are, if you have a weapon powerful enough at your disposal.” Alvarr looked pointedly at Mordred, and the sight frightened Morgana. “When I was a child, my parents told me of a crystal. It was taken from a sorceress in the Great Purge. Uther stole the crystal and now keeps it here, locked away in Camelot.”
Morgana recalled hearing about the thousands of magical items stored in the vaults below the castle, but she had never seen it. However, she did know one thing. “The vaults are impregnable,” she explained. “You could never get it out.”
Alvarr nodded almost imperceptibly. “No, I could not.” He paused before elaborating, “But you could.”
---
As Arthur reached Morgana’s door, he listened for a moment with his ear against the wood to see if he could hear any noises inside. When he heard nothing, he violently kicked the door down and stormed in, prepared to save Morgana from any attackers.
When Arthur broke in, Morgana was wrapped up in her bedcovers, looking scandalized at the intrusion. Internally she was torn, partly relieved that she had successfully hidden Mordred and his friend, and partly guilty for tricking Arthur. She saw the guards pour into her room behind the prince and felt a bit more reassured in her decision, knowing that they would have no choice but to arrest the intruders.
As Arthur looked around the room with a puzzled look on his face, Morgana cried, “Arthur, what are you doing in here?”
“I…” Arthur spun around, looking adorably lost. “I had reason to believe there was an intruder in here.”
“Right now, Arthur, the only intruder in here is you.” Morgana quipped, feeling slightly guiltier at his wounded expression.
“Morgana, I…” He shook his head, remembering that he was not alone. “Perhaps if I could just search your chambers-”
“Arthur, do you really think if there was someone in my room I wouldn’t know about it?” The lie rung in her ears, and she had to bite down on her tongue afterwards to stop from giving anything away. She caught Merlin’s eyes from across the room and noticed that he looked mildly suspicious. She didn’t like the way his gaze seemed to burn through her, so she looked back at Arthur instead.
Arthur cleared his throat, feelings like a fool. “I’m sorry, Morgana, for the intrusion.” He turned to the guards and signaled for them to leave. “Continue the search,” he ordered as they left.
Merlin remained standing by the door until Arthur coughed obnoxiously, expressing his desire for Merlin to leave. Merlin reluctantly obeyed, glancing back at Morgana with betrayal in his eyes as he went.
After Merlin left, Arthur shut the door and walked over to where Morgana lay. “I really am sorry. I’ll fix your door, I promise.”
She smiled at him, despite her nerves swarming through her chest. “Yes, I’d appreciate that. What caused you to come barging in here that way?”
He sat down on her bed beside her. “It was all Merlin’s fault. He had some ridiculous notion that the intruders were in here.”
“Merlin?” There was no way Merlin had just happened upon Mordred and Alvarr on their journey; there was something more behind it.
Arthur mistook her surprise for something else and clarified, “And I was worried about you, too.”
Smiling, she kissed him softly on the cheek. “Thank you.”
Sensing that all was forgiven, Arthur beamed at her, feeling better about his mistake. His smile slowly turned into a smirk, and he murmured, “You know, I could stay here with you tonight. Protect you in case the intruders find their way here after all.”
Morgana laughed quietly, her cheeks turning red. If only she didn’t have two druids hiding in her closet… “Arthur,” she chastised, pushing at his shoulder.
He chuckled, leaning in to drop a kiss on her bare shoulder.
His soft blonde hair brushed against her cheek as he kissed a path up the column of her neck, lavishing his attention on her jaw line. Morgana bit down on her lip to keep from sighing, fearing that someone could be watching. Regretfully, she placed her hands on his chest, pushing him back.
Arthur frowned at the loss of contact. He brought his hand up and encircled one of hers, pulling it away from his chest and holding it tightly.
Forcing herself not to give in, Morgana reminded him, “Shouldn’t you be looking for the intruders? You know the rest of the knights are hopeless without you.” She hoped that the padding of his ego would be enough encouragement.
A frustrated sighed loosed itself from Arthur’s chest. “I suppose you’re right. As always.” He smiled at her, unconsciously rubbing his thumb across the back of her hand.
“I wouldn’t want to keep you from your duty.” If he didn’t leave soon, she was sure that she would snap.
He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed her palm before releasing her hand from his grasp. “Breakfast, then?”
She nodded in agreement, mostly just to end the conversation.
Satisfied with the promise of seeing her in a few hours, Arthur stood up from her bed and crossed the room. He stared at the broken lock on the door for a few seconds before shaking his head and leaving.
Morgana waited until she heard his footsteps recede down the hall before signaling Mordred and Alvarr to come out.
“We owe you our lives,” Alvarr said.
Morgana pushed back her sheets and stepped out onto the floor. “You’re safe for now, but you must go. Uther will kill you if he finds you.”
“And you will help us?” Alvarr asked, expectantly.
Morgana wanted desperately to say no, but Mordred was there tugging at her sleeve.
The boy begged, “Please, Morgana, we need you.”
“You are the king’s ward, and you clearly are close with the prince.” The statement conveyed volumes, and Morgana resisted the urge to glare. “It would be easy for you to gain access to the crystal, and no one would suspect you,” Alvarr insisted. He was staring at her in a way that made her uncomfortable, but it was clear that he was not backing down.
Morgana debated it in her head. The crystal was originally owned by a sorcerer, would it do such harm to return it to the people to whom it truly belonged? Uther kept so many things locked away; surely not all of them were dangerous. She looked down into the massive expanses of Mordred’s pleading blue eyes and gave in, ignoring the worry she felt. “Yes, of course I will.”
---
The following morning, Morgana was so wrapped up in her plans and worries that she completely forgot about breakfast with Arthur. Her mind was buzzing with thoughts of how she would get the crystal, and then smuggle it out of Camelot. She still was unsure if this was the right decision, and therefore her brain was far too filled to remember something as mundane as a morning meal.
Arthur, however, did remember, and sought out Morgana after she failed to appear at his chambers to eat with him. He found her walking in the hallway near her chambers, looking conflicted about something. She was staring at her feet, so he took the opportunity to duck into an alcove and hide from view.
Morgana was still wrapped up in her thoughts when she was grabbed by someone and abruptly dragged into a small opening in the wall. Her instinctive gasp was smothered by a warm and hungry mouth as it covered hers, devouring her cries. Her first impulse was to resist, but as his mouth slanted over hers, she felt the familiar slide of a tongue across her teeth and recognized her assailant. She shoved him back to break the kiss, her fear simmering into a tempered rage as she noticed the smug face of Arthur Pendragon in front of her.
He slowly leaned away, smiling as though he had achieved something impressive.
Morgana stomped on his foot, desperate to stop him from smiling. “What are you doing?” she hissed.
His smile morphed into a grimace at the pain and he shook his foot to regain some feeling in it. “You missed breakfast,” he explained.
She cocked an eyebrow at him. “And that is cause for dragging me in here?”
Arthur’s grin was downright lascivious. “I figured you owed me.”
Her glare would’ve leveled lesser men. “Arthur, I swear, you are such a brute sometimes, you could’ve-”
Her rant was swallowed by his mouth as he drew her in once more. His right hand fisted in her hair, dragging her impossibly closer.
She desperately wanted to shove him off and ruin his moment, but the feel of his lips on hers was making her dizzy. The heady feeling rolling through her body was enough to knock her off her feet, and she pitched forward in his arms, clutching at his shoulders to keep upright.
Arthur felt her falling further into his embrace, and it spurred him further. His kisses were ravenous as he sucked the breath from her lungs, never once breaking free from her luscious lips.
The force of his passion was jolting, and Morgana foggily recognized the magnitude of his desire for her, and what that meant. Her fingers dug into his shoulders harder, fervently grasping the material of his shirt in her hands.
He could feel her struggling to hold on, and he felt the same. It was as though he was falling off a steep precipice, and he was terrified of hitting the bottom. He couldn’t possibly let her go. With his free hand, he encircled her waist, his hand getting lost in yards of silk as he grabbed at her hip and held her fast.
As Arthur pulled her in, Morgana arched her back, inadvertently rocking her hips forward. She lost all sense of reason with him and let her instinct take over. Normally she would be afraid of this sense of reckless abandon, but nothing felt wrong when she was in his arms.
The feeling of Morgana’s hips brushing against his own was enough to make Arthur break the kiss, groaning against her lips as he pulled away to breathe. “Morgana,” he murmured huskily, his brain drowning in lust.
Morgana gasped for breath, suddenly feeling foolish for getting caught up in the moment. She slowly unclenched her fingers and dropped her hands from his shoulders. “Are you satisfied now?” she breathily whispered.
Chuckling, he answered in low tones, his voice still raspy as he struggled to regain control. “Not exactly.”
She made a noise of shock and hit him on the arm. If the alcove had been larger, she would’ve moved away from him, but she was stuck. “Well, that should be payment enough for breakfast, I’d think.”
He smirked. “I don’t know; it was a pretty good breakfast.”
Scoffing in annoyance, she stepped out into the hallway, done with their conversation. “Have a good day, Arthur.”
He laughed and leaned out to stare at her as she walked away. “Let me know if you want to skip dinner too!” he yelled after her.
She whipped her head around to glare teasingly at him before turning and leaving with a flip of her hair.
---
Later in the day when Morgana was sure Arthur would be out training, she snuck into his chambers. He had the keys that would grant her access to the vault and he kept them in his room for safekeeping. She scanned the room, her eyes falling on the cabinet beside his bed.
As she neared the drawer that she knew held the keys, her hands began to shake. She felt guilty for betraying Arthur this way, but what choice did she have? If she told him of her plans he would try to stop her, and she couldn’t risk that. Mordred had asked this of her, and she would grant that boy most anything. She could not shake the connection she felt to him, and therefore she felt obliged to do this simple task if it was what he needed.
Swallowing to wet her dry mouth, she gathered up her courage and pulled open the drawer. She rifled through until she found the keys and slipped them into her hand. As she was closing the drawer, she caught the faint sound of the door opening and spun around to face whoever it was.
She bit down on her lip, frustrated that it wasn’t Arthur. With a false cheerfulness, she greeted, “Merlin!”
He cocked his head at her, that same suspicious look from the night before on his face. “Lady Morgana. What are you doing in here?”
“I was looking for Arthur.” The lie was flimsy, and she knew it wouldn’t hold up.
“He’s at training, like he always is at this time,” Merlin replied, his tone conveying his disbelief.
Morgana laughed lightly, as though she was embarrassed by her mistake. “Right, of course.” She carefully slipped the keys down her sleeve to hide them.
Merlin’s eyes narrowed and he took a step towards her. “Morgana.” He said her name with an air of authority, though he dared not voice the reprimands running through his mind.
She set her mouth in a hard line, assessing the boy in front of her. She knew that there was more than met the eye with him, and he obviously suspected that she was up to something. Even though they were gradually getting back to a place of trust, something was holding Morgana back from telling him about this. She quickly broke out into a smile, with a look that said ‘you caught me’ on her face. “Alright, truthfully, I was in here to steal something of Arthur’s. He did something this morning,” she smirked pointedly, “and I wanted to get a little revenge.”
“You wanted to steal something?” It was clear he wasn’t convinced, but his tone had softened.
Refusing to stop once she had started, she laughed. “Well, it’s not my most original plan, but perhaps if I took his favorite jacket, or his lucky dagger…” She shrugged. “What can I say, Merlin, I don’t like letting Arthur win.”
Merlin nodded slowly. “Well, I’m sure he’ll blame me for losing whatever it is you take.”
Grinning, Morgana reached over and grabbed a silver ring off of Arthur’s nightstand. “This will do.” She slipped it onto her finger, mentally making a note to bring it back later. “Don’t worry, Merlin, it’ll be fine.” She patted his shoulder before leaving the room.
His eyes followed her as she slipped out into the hall, fearing that something bad was about to happen.
---
After the sun went down and the castle had gone dark, Morgana snuck out of her chambers, wrapped in her long green cloak. She had the keys grasped tightly in her hand as she crept down the stairs to the caverns below the castle. At the sound of footsteps approaching, she ducked behind a corner. Several guards passed by on their rounds, and Morgana watched as they receded down the hall. Once they were gone, she grabbed a torch off of the wall and used it to light her way. As she reached the vault door, she took a deep steadying breath and slipped the key into the lock.
The door unlocked, and she pushed it open slowly. Holding the torch out in front of her, she slipped inside. The vault was covered in cobwebs, and the walls were lined with shelves up to the ceiling, all filled with magical objects.
The vault was eerily quiet, and the sound of her heels clacking against the floor reverberated off the walls. She came upon a second door and unlocked it, revealing a large crystal resting on a pillow. Gingerly, she picked it up and tucked it under her cloak. She swallowed down her feelings of guilt and hastily made her way back to her chambers.
---
Morgana waited until long after the warning bells had sounded and Gwen had gone home to finally look at the crystal again. She pulled it out of her armoire and stared at it, praying that this was the right choice. She set it down on the table, forcing herself to focus on the task at hand. Stripping out of her nightclothes, she put on a dress and donned a long cloak. She pinned her hair to the side and slipped on a pair of boots.
Once she was ready, she picked up the crystal and began to tuck it inside a pocket in her cloak. As she moved, she heard the tinkling of something falling to the floor. She bent over for closer inspection and found that it was Arthur’s ring. She had completely forgotten it was even on her finger. Picking it up with a sigh, she brought it over to her armoire. For a moment she considered leaving it, but she couldn’t seem to do it. She grabbed a chain from her jewelry box and strung it through the ring before bringing it up to clasp around her neck. The metal was cool against her skin, but it was oddly comforting to have the slight weight resting there. Steeling her nerves, she brought up her hood and began her journey.
---
It was nearly light out by the time Morgana reached her destination. The camp was in Cenred’s lands, and she had to be cautious. She dismounted and tied her horse to a tree before entering the camp.
Morgana had only taken a few steps when an enthusiastic Mordred called out her name and rushed to hug her. She tucked the boy tightly against her and dropped a kiss to his head.
Alvarr was not far behind the boy, and he held out his hand expectantly.
Reluctantly, Morgana pulled out the crystal and placed it into Alvarr’s outstretched hand. A crystal seemed so harmless, but she was nervous.
Alvarr was extremely pleased, and he asked for Morgana to stay and warm up with something to drink before her journey back to Camelot.
Nodding in acceptance, Morgana went over to sit by the fire, unaware that a pair of prying eyes was watching her from the bushes.
A drink in hand, Alvarr came over to where Morgana sat on a log. He handed the mug to her before sitting down next to her. “Hopefully in time, Mordred will master the crystal. And then we will strike down Uther, and all who serve him.”
Morgana froze, her hands clutching the mug tighter than before. “All who serve him?” Her mind was filled with thoughts of Arthur, and she brought one hand up to her neck to grasp the ring on her necklace.
“If we are to win this war, there can be no half measures.” When he noticed Morgana staring off uncomfortably, he added, “I see this troubles you.”
“Yes. Yes, it does,” Morgana replied. “There are good people in Camelot. Uther is the tyrant, but there are others, those who would support the return of magic.”
“My lady, we fight for our very survival, we cannot take any risks,” Alvarr explained.
Morgana shook her head, still desperately holding on to the ring at her neck. “Without Uther as king, his son would take the throne. He is a good man; he will not fail you like his father.”
“I would think you would understand better than most, my lady. You have magic; you must know what it is like.”
Shocked, she dropped her hand from her throat.
Alvarr clarified, “The boy, he told me.”
She nodded slowly.
“You have a greater part to play in this than you know, Morgana. There are prophecies that the druids speak of, prophecies about you.”
“Me?” she squeaked. He couldn’t possibly be right.
He nodded, a look of confidence on his face. “They say that you are destined to bring back the old ways. You will return magic to this land.”
A bout of nervous laughter escaped her lips. “You must be mistaken.”
Alvarr reached out and laid a hand over her wrist. “If we succeed in this war, you will be able to lead us to a better future. You will be able to live out your life free of fear, and you will never be alone again.”
She remembered the feeling of Arthur’s arms around her, and knew that she wasn’t alone, but she didn’t say anything. She smiled gratefully and quietly spoke, “I should be heading back. The castle will be waking soon.” She stood up from the log and handed the mug back to Alvarr.
Taking the drink from her hands, he remarked, “Farewell then, my Lady Morgana. Hopefully our paths will cross again.”
Morgana smiled and turned to find her horse. She fingered the ring around her neck again before mounting her horse to head back home, feeling more conflicted than ever.
---
The next day, Gaius held a meeting with Uther and explained that he had heard news of the whereabouts of the man who had stolen the crystal. Uther immediately assigned Arthur to inspect the area, and Morgana’s heart stopped. She didn’t want to see Mordred hurt, and she knew that Arthur would have no choice but to capture the boy. She also knew that if Arthur was unlucky, Alvarr would most certainly kill him. Either option terrified her, and she desperately wanted to do something to stop it from happening.
After the meeting, Morgana tried to catch up with Arthur, but her path was blocked by Merlin. She pushed at his shoulder and tried to move past him. “Sorry Merlin, but I need to speak with-”
Merlin stood his ground and interrupted in hushed tones, “I know you stole the crystal, Morgana.”
She had known it was a possibility, but it didn’t stop her from freezing in terror. This could ruin everything. “Merlin…” She grabbed him by the arm and pulled him along until she came upon an empty room where they could talk without being overheard.
Once they were inside, Merlin spoke up again. “I know you did it for the druid boy, Mordred.”
Her eyes narrowed at that. “Have you been spying on me, Merlin?”
“I’ve been doing it for your own good, Morgana. I know you care for the boy, but he’s more dangerous than you know.”
Morgana barked out a harsh laugh. “Mordred? He’s just a child, Merlin.”
Merlin shook his head at her stubbornness. “He has great power, and he will grow to do terrible things.”
“How could you possibly know that?” she snapped. When it came to Mordred, she felt like a protective mother.
He didn’t trust her enough to reveal his secret discussions with Kilgharrah. As far as Morgana knew, dragons were extinct. “I can’t explain it, Morgana. But if you care about Arthur at all, you’ll stay away from Mordred.”
“What does Arthur have to do with this?” Her tone was still angry, but it was clear from her eyes that she was worried.
It was dangerous to know what the future held, Merlin knew that. He blew out a slow breath, trying to remain calm. “Just, trust me, Morgana.”
She scoffed, “Trust you? You who claims to be my friend, yet spies on me behind my back? I suppose you’re the one who told Gaius about the crystal’s whereabouts, too.”
“I had to. It was the only way,” he admitted.
Chuckling darkly to herself, she murmured, “No, it wasn’t. You could’ve come to me; you could’ve told me the whole story. Instead you skulk around and then come in here with accusations that you can’t seem to support.”
“Morgana, please,” Merlin begged.
“How can I trust you when you so clearly refuse to pay me the same respect?” She shook her head, feeling exhausted and betrayed. “I won’t see Mordred again, Merlin. But I don’t think I want to see you anymore, either.” Her eyes pricked with tears; the revelation of his deceit was causing her heart to break. She roughly pushed past him, hurriedly walking out of the room.
---
Still on the verge of tears, Morgana ran all the way to Arthur’s room. She threw open the door and found him preparing for his mission.
He stopped when he heard her at the door and snapped his head up to look at her. He knew Morgana better than anyone, and he could sense that she was in pain. “What’s wrong?”
She felt her resolve breaking down, and a tear rolled down her cheek. “Don’t go on this mission, Arthur.”
Arthur’s lips began to quirk up in a smile at that. “Are you worried about me?”
Shutting her eyes against the tears, she shook her head. “I am, but… Arthur you have to listen to me, I did something, I…”
He maneuvered around the table and came to stand in front of her. He soothingly ran his hands over her upper arms. “It’s alright, Morgana. You can tell me.”
“Arthur, it was me,” she whispered.
His hands stilled, confused by her admission. “What?”
More tears escaped her eyes and she damned her weak emotions. “I stole the crystal.” She waited for his angry explosion, but it never came. He was staring wide-eyed at her, patiently waiting for an explanation. She continued, “It was the druid boy, Arthur. He came to me and asked for my help.”
His head dropped minutely in a nod, still listening.
“They needed the crystal. He asked me to steal it for them.” Anger welled up inside of her and she blurted, “It’s not fair that they live in fear just because they have magic.” Calming down, she drew her lip into her mouth and worried it for a moment before asking, “Can you forgive me?”
Finally he spoke. “So the other night, you were hiding them in your room, weren’t you?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“And you stole my keys?” he asked.
Morgana nodded.
“Uther was furious with me for that.” He didn’t care what Uther thought of him, but it still stung to be considered a failure.
“I’m sorry, Arthur,” she cried.
He dropped his hands from where they were still resting on her arms. “You should’ve told me, Morgana.”
She felt cold without his hands to warm her and wrapped her arms tightly around her middle. “I know.”
Arthur shook his head and snorted in derision. “You can’t keep doing this, Morgana. You can’t keep things from me.” He ran his fingers roughly through his hair, sighing in exasperation. “I’m on your side! I love you, remember?”
Unable to stop from crying, Morgana only nodded.
Arthur turned away from her. “I’m still going on the mission, Morgana. I know you did what you thought was right, but that crystal could be dangerous. I have to protect my people.”
She could tell that it was the prince speaking, and not her Arthur, but there was nothing she could do. “And the boy?”
Arthur looked back at her over his shoulder. “I’ll do what I can.”
---
Waiting for Arthur to return was one of the worst things Morgana had ever gone through. She paced for hours by the window, hoping for a glimpse of the men over the walls of the castle. Gwen had stopped asking what was wrong after the tenth time, since she never received an answer.
When Morgana finally caught sight of them, she stopped pacing and stared out of the window. She didn’t know what she wanted, but she knew that she needed to see that Arthur was safe. Thankfully, she saw his horse and his telltale blonde hair as he rode into the square. Her sigh of relief got caught in her throat, however, for she saw someone else with the riders. A man in chains with a familiar face. Morgana dropped her head into her hands. Alvarr was doomed to an unpleasant fate.
---
Morgana was present for the sentencing, hoping that Uther would possibly show Alvarr mercy. However, Alvarr confessed to his crimes, admitting freely that he had plotted against Camelot. When Uther asked if he had acted alone, Alvarr said yes, refusing to condemn Morgana as well.
The guilt was crushing her, for she could feel Alvarr’s eyes on her, as well as Arthur’s and Merlin’s. They all were protecting her, and she was too much of a coward to tell the truth. It would do no good at this point.
Uther turned away from the accused. “You are an enemy of Camelot, Alvarr. You are sentenced to death.”
“Then I die with honor. To be an enemy of Camelot is no crime.” As the guards hauled Alvarr to his feet, he sneered, “You, Uther, are the criminal.”
Morgana glared over at Uther as the guards carried Alvarr out of the room, the rest of the council following soon after.
Arthur watched Morgana warily, but left with his men, knowing he could not speak to her now.
Morgana signaled for the last of the guards to leave, shutting the doors with them. The room was empty now save for her and Uther. She turned on him slowly, inquiring, “How many more must you kill before you’re satisfied?”
Uther shook his head and turned around to face his ward. “He was guilty, he confessed his crimes, Morgana. This man was a sworn foe of Camelot.”
She scoffed. “Is it any wonder he wanted you dead? You who have persecuted his kind day after day, year after year?”
“I will hear no more of this, Morgana!” Uther yelled.
“Because you’re an arrogant fool! You are deaf and blind to the very needs of the people you profess to serve and protect!” She couldn’t stop herself and continued to rant, “The people will tolerate it no longer!”
Uther stormed across the room towards her. “I said enough!”
“They are rising up against you!” She watched as Uther’s movements stilled. Her fury abating, she muttered, “From this day forward, I do not know you. From this day forward, I disown you.” She pushed past him and walked towards the door.
Uther bellowed from behind her, “You will go to your chambers!”
Morgana froze at the door, her outstretched hands clutching the wood to hold in her rage. “And you, Uther,” she murmured as she turned her head to face him, “You will go to hell.” She opened the door and left, slamming it shut behind her.
---
Merlin sat down to eat dinner with Gaius that night, with deep rooted fears swimming through his mind. He had wielded the crystal out in the woods after they had retrieved it, and he had seen terrible things.
“Merlin? What’s the matter?” Gaius asked.
“It’s the crystal. It harbors a terrible power, Gaius.”
“It’s locked away now, it can do no harm.” Gaius studied Merlin and hesitantly queried, “Unless the damage has already been done.”
“I held it. I knew I shouldn’t, but…” He shook his head. “I couldn’t resist it.” The visions that he saw in the crystal were running through his mind. Camelot was burning, and there were flashes of people he cared about; Morgana was lying on the floor, dead in someone’s arms, and Arthur was screaming. He saw Camelot fall. “I saw things, terrible things.”
“Then you have already paid the price,” Gaius remarked.
Merlin shook his head, “What I saw has not yet come to pass. And I am scared, Gaius, I’m really scared of what the future may hold.”
Gaius knew that this was only one possible future, and he comforted the boy. “The future is as yet unshaped, Merlin. It is we that shape it. It is you, Merlin. The decisions you make, the actions you take. Remember that.”
---
Morgana was still fuming over her conversation with Uther and she was seriously considering devising an escape plan for Alvarr. Uther would know it was her, though, and she knew that he wouldn’t think twice about locking her up as punishment. Or possibly having her put to death, he had considered it before.
A knock came at her door, and Morgana went to answer it. Arthur was there, looking worried.
“Can I come in?” he asked.
Morgana stepped out of the way and let him inside.
He could tell she was upset with him. “I did everything I could, Morgana. The boy, he’s safe, as far as I know.”
She nodded brusquely. “Thank you.”
From her clipped tones, it was obvious that his attempts were not enough. Years of being around Morgana had taught him to read her body language and her moods. She wanted him to do more. He dropped his head, looking down at the floor. “I can’t save him, Morgana.”
“You mean you won’t.”
He could feel her gaze boring holes in his skin. “You’re right, I won’t.” He lifted his head to meet her eyes. “He is not as innocent as you would believe. He slaughtered several of my men, and he would’ve done the same to me.”
“And I suppose you harmed no one? He’s fighting for his freedom,” Morgana retorted.
Arthur ignored her jab at him and continued, “That doesn’t change his actions. He is a killer, Morgana, and he would see this kingdom destroyed.”
She stared him down, her residual anger from her fight with Uther coming back to the surface. “You’re siding with Uther, then? What happened to being on my side?”
“I am, Morgana! This is your side; you’re just too stubborn to see it,” he insisted.
Morgana let out a sharp, barking laugh.
“It’s not black and white, remember that? You made me see that not all magic is bad, but not all of it is good, either.” He exhaled loudly, his frustration apparent. “This man has done horrible things; he is a bandit, a murderer. Why do you blindly support his actions? You know what he has done is wrong, Morgana.”
She refused to see reason; it was too difficult to move past her anger. “I stole the crystal, should I pay for it with my life as well?”
He forcefully expelled a sigh from his chest. “That is not the same. You didn’t harm anyone, not intentionally.”
“And what if I did?” she challenged, jutting her chin out at him in defiance.
“Then I would stop you.” He took a step closer to her, peering down into her green eyes. “Because you asked me to.”
She huffed angrily and shoved at his chest. “Get out, Arthur.” A part of her knew that he was right, but she couldn’t admit it out loud.
He took a step back, recognizing that he would not get through to her, not tonight. “You cannot save him, Morgana.”
She desperately wanted to scream, to smash everything in her room, but she knew Arthur would stop her. “I said get out.” Something was biting into the palm of her hand, and she looked down to find that she had been squeezing the ring around her neck again. It irritated her that she had become so dependent on this small piece of Arthur, especially when she was arguing with him. She ripped it off of her neck and called out, “Wait.”
Arthur stopped before he reached the door and turned to face her.
Morgana thrust out her hand towards him, the ring still pressed firmly against her palm.
He strode back over to where she stood and held out his hand to take whatever she was offering.
She let the chain drop through her fingers and allowed it hang for a few agonizing seconds before completely dropping the ring into his hand.
Arthur studied it for a moment before recognition set in, and he looked up at Morgana in confusion. “My ring. I thought I had lost it.”
“I took it the other day.” At his questioning look, she shrugged, having no further explanation for him.
He closed his fingers around the ring. “It was my mother’s.”
Morgana’s face softened a little. “I’m sorry.” She was only apologizing for the ring, but it felt like it was for so much more.
He shook his head, laughing to himself. “Don’t be.” He left out that he had considered giving her the ring a million times before; he wanted someone he loved to have it.
She watched his hand intently as he opened it and spun the ring around with his thumb before closing his fingers once more.
Understanding that her earlier request for him to leave was still in place, he tore his eyes away from her face and walked towards the door. His hand stilled as it reached for the doorknob, and he pleaded, “Don’t shut me out, Morgana.” Without giving her a chance to respond, he opened the door and stepped out into the hall. He left the door opened as he walked away, and his footsteps echoed throughout Morgana’s room.
Once his footsteps had faded, Morgana moved across the room to shut her door. As she neared the door, she noticed something on the handle. She carefully picked it up, and a poignant smile crossed her lips. He had left the ring there for her.
Taking a deep breath, she put it back around her neck.
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