Mildly Amusing, Sexually Based Anecdote
Yesterday morning I had to get up extra early to participate in what’s called a health and Welfare Inspection. This is when we go through the barracks basically searching through the rooms looking for “contraband.” The big items here are weapons and illegal drugs, but-this being a training post-we also end up looking for tobacco products, alcohol, and pornography.
Now, I dislike doing this. It’s a pain in the ass-did I mention I had to get up extra early, as in 3am?-some of the rooms are disgusting as in they smell like a gym locker, and I just generally dislike depriving anyone of their privacy. So I do have ethical issues with rifling through someone’s personal belongings inside their living space. But, I have to do it and I have to admit, I get to find some interesting things from time to time.
Generally, males search through males’ rooms and females search through females’ rooms. Usually, the room’s occupants are there. This time they weren’t. Also, we finished with our floor and then went to the female floor to help out there.
I’ll be the first to admit that I lean towards the kinky and would be considered a pervert by many, but searching through some female soldier’s underwear drawer is just creepy to me. Again, I don’t like the feeling of violating someone’s privacy or personal space. Still, I find the sight of a drawer full of thongs just a little bit arousing even if I refuse to allow myself any real enjoyment of it. So, I have these conflicted feelings of “damn, these thongs are hot” and “damn, I wish I didn’t have to do a non-consensual search in order to see them.
Anyway, I’m in my third female room. There’s all sorts of Wiccan and Neo Pagan books and knick-knacks on the desk. Mildly interesting. There’s a stereotype I have about Wiccans and Pagans and it’s generally one of sex-positive attitudes. Then I see something that looks like a bathrobe hanging from this girl’s wall locker. Nope, it’s a dress and not just any dress it’s a Renaissance Fair dress. She’s definitely living up to one of the more amusing aspects of the whole Wiccan/Pagan stereotype.
Inside her wall locker are a couple of things I need to search. The first is just a case for a portable DVD player. The second is this kind of cool looking box. It looks like some sort of black, mini-footlocker with a carrying handle on top. She’s also written on the top, “Property of Stereotypical Wiccan/Pagan Girl.” I open it up and hit paydirt, a six inch, chrome plated standard vibrator, a four inch, purple, G-spot vibrator, and a small, pocket rocket type vibrator (the type with a flat end with little bumps on it for clitoral stimulation). Cool.
There’s also little containers of lube and a rubber sleeve covered with more bumps-for her pleasure?--that’s been kind of turned inside out. Oh, and the best thing in there is a set of four, black, velvet lined restraints all clipped to a single metal ring. Very cool. Stereotype completely confirmed. Wiccan/Pagan Girl, loves dressing up for Renaissance Fairs, exploring her orgasmic capacity and is into a little BDSM. It’s a safe bet she’s a vegetarian and non-monogamous too.
Now, I have no idea what Stereotypical Wiccan/Pagan Girl looks like and am kind of glad she’s not one of my students since picturing her roleplaying some sort of Medieval Sex Scene could lead to awkwardness in the classroom. It probably involves something like this: a Cruel But Handsome Knight has invaded the Kingdom of Atenveldt and captured the virtuous My Lady and is intent on having his way with her. The Cruel But Handsome Knight secures My Lady to the bed by her wrists and ankles, hikes up her fancy and abundant dress, and uses an assortment of wicked implements of pleasure to tease and torment her exposed pussy until she finally gives in and begs the Cruel But Handsome Knight to claim her maidenhead. So, yeah, I may have issues with these little searches, but I do manage to find some fun in them.
Oh, and just so everyone know, no sex toys are NOT considered contraband. Yeah, it’s a bizarre double standard. A guy’s copy of “Barely Legal” has been deemed “obscene” by the Department of Defense and therefore is contraband that can be confiscated but a girl’s vibrators and restraints are simply her personal property are permissible. I definitely disagree with this since both are pretty much serving the same purpose, facilitating some much needed orgasms.
Anyway, that’s my mildly amusing, sexually based anecdote. I also have to add that I’m very impressed by Stereotypical Wiccan/Pagan Girl’s apparent openness about her toy collection and her organizational skills.
Now, I dislike doing this. It’s a pain in the ass-did I mention I had to get up extra early, as in 3am?-some of the rooms are disgusting as in they smell like a gym locker, and I just generally dislike depriving anyone of their privacy. So I do have ethical issues with rifling through someone’s personal belongings inside their living space. But, I have to do it and I have to admit, I get to find some interesting things from time to time.
Generally, males search through males’ rooms and females search through females’ rooms. Usually, the room’s occupants are there. This time they weren’t. Also, we finished with our floor and then went to the female floor to help out there.
I’ll be the first to admit that I lean towards the kinky and would be considered a pervert by many, but searching through some female soldier’s underwear drawer is just creepy to me. Again, I don’t like the feeling of violating someone’s privacy or personal space. Still, I find the sight of a drawer full of thongs just a little bit arousing even if I refuse to allow myself any real enjoyment of it. So, I have these conflicted feelings of “damn, these thongs are hot” and “damn, I wish I didn’t have to do a non-consensual search in order to see them.
Anyway, I’m in my third female room. There’s all sorts of Wiccan and Neo Pagan books and knick-knacks on the desk. Mildly interesting. There’s a stereotype I have about Wiccans and Pagans and it’s generally one of sex-positive attitudes. Then I see something that looks like a bathrobe hanging from this girl’s wall locker. Nope, it’s a dress and not just any dress it’s a Renaissance Fair dress. She’s definitely living up to one of the more amusing aspects of the whole Wiccan/Pagan stereotype.
Inside her wall locker are a couple of things I need to search. The first is just a case for a portable DVD player. The second is this kind of cool looking box. It looks like some sort of black, mini-footlocker with a carrying handle on top. She’s also written on the top, “Property of Stereotypical Wiccan/Pagan Girl.” I open it up and hit paydirt, a six inch, chrome plated standard vibrator, a four inch, purple, G-spot vibrator, and a small, pocket rocket type vibrator (the type with a flat end with little bumps on it for clitoral stimulation). Cool.
There’s also little containers of lube and a rubber sleeve covered with more bumps-for her pleasure?--that’s been kind of turned inside out. Oh, and the best thing in there is a set of four, black, velvet lined restraints all clipped to a single metal ring. Very cool. Stereotype completely confirmed. Wiccan/Pagan Girl, loves dressing up for Renaissance Fairs, exploring her orgasmic capacity and is into a little BDSM. It’s a safe bet she’s a vegetarian and non-monogamous too.
Now, I have no idea what Stereotypical Wiccan/Pagan Girl looks like and am kind of glad she’s not one of my students since picturing her roleplaying some sort of Medieval Sex Scene could lead to awkwardness in the classroom. It probably involves something like this: a Cruel But Handsome Knight has invaded the Kingdom of Atenveldt and captured the virtuous My Lady and is intent on having his way with her. The Cruel But Handsome Knight secures My Lady to the bed by her wrists and ankles, hikes up her fancy and abundant dress, and uses an assortment of wicked implements of pleasure to tease and torment her exposed pussy until she finally gives in and begs the Cruel But Handsome Knight to claim her maidenhead. So, yeah, I may have issues with these little searches, but I do manage to find some fun in them.
Oh, and just so everyone know, no sex toys are NOT considered contraband. Yeah, it’s a bizarre double standard. A guy’s copy of “Barely Legal” has been deemed “obscene” by the Department of Defense and therefore is contraband that can be confiscated but a girl’s vibrators and restraints are simply her personal property are permissible. I definitely disagree with this since both are pretty much serving the same purpose, facilitating some much needed orgasms.
Anyway, that’s my mildly amusing, sexually based anecdote. I also have to add that I’m very impressed by Stereotypical Wiccan/Pagan Girl’s apparent openness about her toy collection and her organizational skills.