New Beginning
I'm considering discontinuing this journal. I haven't decided yet, but I've been tossing this idea back and forth within myself for an obvious amount of time. I may just revamp everything eventually and hit the pause button for a while, like I did before. Because this journal has so much history... it's a piece of who I was before now. And although that's not the person I am anymore, it's part of what made me who I am now.
It's funny to me how distorted life seems when you're viewing the world from a magnifying glass. Now that I can seperate myself from it all, I'm happy.
I can accept everything and embrace what is to come, but I now have the ability to see clearly into each and every situation. That stability gives me more pleasure than I could have known before. I've never felt so alive!
I went back to deadjournal recently and left this journal lay around. I needed some time to think. I like deadjournal a lot better, but for the time being- I'm still unsure if I want to delete this one or not.
Long stories short:
Still in the rental car and still trying to gather the money to get my car out of the shop on the 29th (also need a car payment, which I think my parents have handled already and not told me, but I'm not sure).
Chris and I are talking again- sortof. It's like a relationship without the title. All the chillin' and all the sex in the world, but none of the "I love you"s and random kisses and hand holding... *shrug* He does rub my neck while I'm driving and he calls me a hundred times a day at work. I dunno. I'm just happy to have him back. We're moving into an apartment together next month, too. We're gonna be a family again. At least for a little while. I'm going to try my best to make it as pleasurable as possible for him so that he'll let that guard down and accept his feelings that have so obviously come rushing back at him. Everyone keeps telling him we belong togheter, we look so great together, why did we break up, etc etc. I cant blame them.
Step one, though, should we officially reunite in that way: BURN his old journal with all the pictures of cunt-rag and shit. Then, lay out some ground rules since he insists on continuing a friendship with homewrecker. Le sigh.
It's okay though. I knew it all along- and I told him repeatedly. I love being right.
Time for work. Laters.
It's funny to me how distorted life seems when you're viewing the world from a magnifying glass. Now that I can seperate myself from it all, I'm happy.
I can accept everything and embrace what is to come, but I now have the ability to see clearly into each and every situation. That stability gives me more pleasure than I could have known before. I've never felt so alive!
I went back to deadjournal recently and left this journal lay around. I needed some time to think. I like deadjournal a lot better, but for the time being- I'm still unsure if I want to delete this one or not.
Long stories short:
Still in the rental car and still trying to gather the money to get my car out of the shop on the 29th (also need a car payment, which I think my parents have handled already and not told me, but I'm not sure).
Chris and I are talking again- sortof. It's like a relationship without the title. All the chillin' and all the sex in the world, but none of the "I love you"s and random kisses and hand holding... *shrug* He does rub my neck while I'm driving and he calls me a hundred times a day at work. I dunno. I'm just happy to have him back. We're moving into an apartment together next month, too. We're gonna be a family again. At least for a little while. I'm going to try my best to make it as pleasurable as possible for him so that he'll let that guard down and accept his feelings that have so obviously come rushing back at him. Everyone keeps telling him we belong togheter, we look so great together, why did we break up, etc etc. I cant blame them.
Step one, though, should we officially reunite in that way: BURN his old journal with all the pictures of cunt-rag and shit. Then, lay out some ground rules since he insists on continuing a friendship with homewrecker. Le sigh.
It's okay though. I knew it all along- and I told him repeatedly. I love being right.
Time for work. Laters.