Clothes Shop Disaster
New carpet is very nice, much MUCH better than the old one. There is just something nice about a soft warm carpet underfoot.
Not having the best day ever. Last week my Grandma somehow managed to get me to agree to go on a shopping trip. She also wanted to take me and my mum out for lunch before hand...but I got out of that one thankfully.
Well the shopping trip consisted of a terrible car journey into Loughborough (my Grandma hasn't yet managed to work out that constantly switching between the acelerator and the break causes some serious jerking) a short walk to the bank where I sorted out some money that I'd been needing to do for ages, a 50m walk from there to the shops and that was about as far as it went. I walked in one shop grabbed the first pair of jeans I saw and managed to scramble into them. I knew even then that it was a big mistake. I just simply wasn't physically capable of it, my 'shopping trip' had lasted all of 5 minutes. As I walked out of the shop empty handed I just wanted to burst into tears, partly because of how sick I felt and partly because of the reality check that slapped me right around the face about just how far I've got to go.
It didn't help matters that my Grandma was trying to push me the whole time when all I wanted to do was go home. After I came out of the shop I went and sat down on a bench where my grandma was waiting for me and tried to explain that I couldn't do it. But my grandma just kept on about how much better I've been doing recently and about how good my walking is compared to what it was. It was at that point that a group of people started smoking and I just had to get back to the car, which proved to be a reminder of just how bad my walking can get when I ended up dragging myself the last 10M. I felt like locking myself in the car and just having a massive sob fest, but then my grandma and mum turned up and I managed to keep myself together.
So now I'm back home and just really angry with myself for breaking my golden rule of always listening to my instincts. I'm pretty sure that shopping trip will provoke a crash. Hopefully it will just be a small one and not a full blown relapse. I've got all the warning signs though, terrible nausea, headache, noise sensitivity, ice coldness, lacking energy to the point where speaking is an issue and the fantastic shuffle walk.
Will do nothing now for rest of week and hope fate is kind.
Not having the best day ever. Last week my Grandma somehow managed to get me to agree to go on a shopping trip. She also wanted to take me and my mum out for lunch before hand...but I got out of that one thankfully.
Well the shopping trip consisted of a terrible car journey into Loughborough (my Grandma hasn't yet managed to work out that constantly switching between the acelerator and the break causes some serious jerking) a short walk to the bank where I sorted out some money that I'd been needing to do for ages, a 50m walk from there to the shops and that was about as far as it went. I walked in one shop grabbed the first pair of jeans I saw and managed to scramble into them. I knew even then that it was a big mistake. I just simply wasn't physically capable of it, my 'shopping trip' had lasted all of 5 minutes. As I walked out of the shop empty handed I just wanted to burst into tears, partly because of how sick I felt and partly because of the reality check that slapped me right around the face about just how far I've got to go.
It didn't help matters that my Grandma was trying to push me the whole time when all I wanted to do was go home. After I came out of the shop I went and sat down on a bench where my grandma was waiting for me and tried to explain that I couldn't do it. But my grandma just kept on about how much better I've been doing recently and about how good my walking is compared to what it was. It was at that point that a group of people started smoking and I just had to get back to the car, which proved to be a reminder of just how bad my walking can get when I ended up dragging myself the last 10M. I felt like locking myself in the car and just having a massive sob fest, but then my grandma and mum turned up and I managed to keep myself together.
So now I'm back home and just really angry with myself for breaking my golden rule of always listening to my instincts. I'm pretty sure that shopping trip will provoke a crash. Hopefully it will just be a small one and not a full blown relapse. I've got all the warning signs though, terrible nausea, headache, noise sensitivity, ice coldness, lacking energy to the point where speaking is an issue and the fantastic shuffle walk.
Will do nothing now for rest of week and hope fate is kind.