Equilibrium
Title: Equilibrium
Author: moi
Pairing: hints of JongKey, OnTae
Genre: AU
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowing~
Summary: Sometimes even the flight of an angel hits turbulence.
A/N: I swear this one had a blast terrorising me. Hope it's worth it? *weak smile* Thanks to honey_x_flavor for putting up with me, heh XD
Taemin is four years old, happily clapping from his spot in the back seat, when the first signs of snow appear outside the moving car. His father is silent, hands gripping and moving the driving wheel with caution, trying to safely drive over wet concrete. His mother's fingers are gingerly pushing various buttons on the radio as she hums different parts of songs that come up.
He doesn't get to realise much, considering the young of his age, but the stimulation derived from the gentle snow and beautiful music is enough to hype him up. An excited giggle comes out of his mouth and his mom turns her head around in response, a smile on her lips and her eyes twinkling. There's something in that action that warms his little belly up, but he doesn't get to experience it for much longer, thanks to a sudden screeching sound that cuts through the air.
The noise is deafening, too loud for him to stand, and there's commotion, panic in his mother's expression, before he loses sight of her. A moment passes before everything slows down, awe concentrating on his face, and every second after that is stretched out of proportion. There's a long-drawn crash and his wide eyes watch as everything is shaken. He remains stable, however, completely still, as a pair of unknown hands covers his torso and holds his head. It's a pleasant feeling, despite seeming unnatural, and it keeps him company with relaxing Shhhh's before everything comes back to normal.
He remains shocked for a while, until he understands the radio isn't on anymore, his mom isn't humming, and his dad's hands are not on the wheel.
His mouth opens wide, releasing loud whimpers, and his memories after that consist of sirens, static and panic.
------
Five years later, one day with a bright blue sky and biting cold wind, Taemin experiences what one may call a 'near-death experience'. He doesn't even know what that means by the time, but he sure as hell has heard his friends brag about it, and how some of their relatives have gone through it. Honestly, he doesn't believe them.
Zipping up his striped sweater and popping up the collar, he flies out of the apartment and steps on the street. He wouldn't have normally left his house under different circumstances, but with some pushing and prodding from his best friend, he manages to get his parents to let him visit the other boy and stay over for the night.
His nose and ears immediately go numb and he only gets consoled by how his breath comes out in heavy white puffs, gradually disappearing into the air. He's completely absent-minded, legs moving on their own in a display of excellent memorisation of the path he needs to follow. With his foot mid-air, about to step off the pavement, a voice calls him urgently, and despite not recognising it, he instinctively steps back. He finds nobody, neither looking at him, nor being even remotely close, but when he turns around once more, he freezes on the spot. A rush of air shocks him as a truck drives by at the speed of light, and Taemin can nearly feel the crash of metal against bones he narrowly managed to escape.
He remains awe-struck for a couple of seconds, the past few moments just now registering in his head.
He makes sure to double-check the traffic before eventually crossing the road, movements much more rapid than ever before.
------
At sixteen, Taemin may not be one of the popular kids, but he sure makes an impression. If the crazed whispers and squeals behind his back are anything to go by, his lithe form and gentle features definitely get the girls, despite the fact that he's not quite that interested.
Choosing the table on the very corner of the school cafeteria, he sets his tray down and takes a seat, chair squeaking as he sets his weight onto it. He never joins any other students he may know, for some reason. It's not that he looks down on them, it's just that he never could really adjust. He always found everybody else his age a little too immature for him.
There's a light draft created by an open window somewhere nearby, and it knocks his empty plastic cup down, making it roll down the table and land on his feet. Dipping under the table to retrieve it, his fingers take hold of it and he brings himself back up, only to see a -just recently- familiar face. Taken by surprise, he turns around, panicked eyes scanning the room for any witnesses. Sighing in relief after noticing everyone was minding their own business, he sits straight and glares at the man in front of him.
"Don't you ever feel the tiniest of fear you might be seen?" he asks and casts his head down. Kibum. Kibum could be considered his best friend, possibly for the last 16 years. He has always been a dark spot in Taemin's life, considering the latter constantly avoided even confirming his presence to the other kids he usually hangs out with. I mean, yeah, how can someone simply explain "Actually, Kibum is my very own kickass Guardian Angel, immortal and available 24/7"? ...Exactly.
"I'll just erase their memories and be over with it," Kibum replies, taking huge, noisy sips from the caramel milkshake between his hands (how did he even get that?).
Taemin rolls his eyes, using his spork to pointlessly move around some of the corn on his dish. "Even I know you can't do that," he says and shakes his head.
"Well," he starts off and looks the other in the eyes, testing. "How are you sure I hadn't done it to you, so that you wouldn't know I actually can do it?" He wiggles his eyebrows and Taemin snorts.
"You are ridiculous," he replies before Kibum's hand invades his personal space, grabbing three French fries and wolfing them down. "And disgusting," the younger adds, getting a toothy grin in return.
Come to think about it, Taemin doesn't know why Kibum seems to consume huge amounts of food everyday. He's sure Angels don't ever feel hungry or thirsty, or at least he's under the impression they don't, but does that mean they can eat anyway? He had also assumed they were all supposed to have wings, but he was proven wrong. Actually, he barely knows the basics about Kibum's kind. It's been merely a year since the day he found out about his Guardian's existence, and even though it may have looked like an accident, Taemin will never stop thinking it happened intentionally, on Kibum's part. He still has so many questions to ask.
Kibum knows. He can feel the boy think; not read his mind, but feel. It's like a feature they all share with their protected ones, and he wishes he didn't really have it. See, there are things Taemin won't really be able to comprehend. However, he wants to give him answers, satisfy his curiosity, but he's not supposed to. He's done enough wrong things up until now.
Silence falls between them as the younger boy starts taking bites off his salad, and Kibum's eyes start wandering. They pass by students, girls scantily dressed, boys conversing loudly, until they fall on one male in particular; his elbow perched on the long counter on the other side of the hall. He's merely a face in the crowd, his stature not even that tall, but his mouth is tense and his eyes are burning while he studies the two of them. Kibum shivers.
"Hey, is that some classmate of yours?" he whispers to the boy opposite him as if sharing a secret.
"Hm?" Taemin looks up, following Kibum's stare and scanning the place. "Which one?"
In return, he frowns at the younger boy, and his eyes turn to relocate the man in question.
He's gone.
------
Jonghyun closes his eyes, vibrant white and calm blue being replaced by black. A wave of air splashes against his body, fingertips tingling, and when he reopens his eyes the moon is the only illumination available.
He takes a good look around, taking in the posters on the wall, the toy figurines on the bookshelves, the laptop on the edge of the bed, the sleeping form lying on the mattress. This boy; if only he knew how important he is, despite his young age and soft appearance. Unless- Unless he already does, considering that poor excuse of a Guardian he was given. One would assume a soul of such importance would be looked after by an Angel of equal integrity, but maybe some times something has to go wrong.
He should take the boy with him, now. He's meant to, but damned be Their principles for needing the mortal's consent for such an action. He inches closer nevertheless, and soon he's already leaned in, hand extended and ready to touch the other's forehead, when a whisper reaches him.
"What are you doing," he hears and turns around, facing none other but the man responsible for any possible problems in the future.
"I should be asking you that," he whispers back and frowns. "What are you even thinking, not only appearing to him for over a year, but not even coming to us when called," his tone may not be angry, but his stare is severe.
"I protect him."
He snorts. "Oh yeah, some protection that is," he makes a face and continues, "I swear to you I'd report you and take him myself if-"
"Take him?" Kibum cuts him off and steps closer. "And what, offer him on a silver platter? Let him become another meat-suit for Them to use? Oh, please," he says calmly. This is pretty much the nature of Angels, they may curse and fight and scratch, but all attacks are silent, smooth.
"Don't forget you need a... meat-suit yourself in order to look even remotely human. And this is none of your business anyway."
Kibum shakes his head. "It has been my business ever since he became my responsibility, sixteen years ago. Don't you think he's already gone through enough? Let him be, for once," he says and makes sure he emphasises each word, but then his chest feels tight and his throat is clenched with the lightest of flicks produced by Jonghyun's fingers. It doesn't hurt, definitely not, but it constricts him greatly. He knows that, had he been a mortal, he would have been choked to death by now.
"Listen," the other Angel says and he gets closer in a flash, without making a sound. "In this, we are all pawns. We don't make the moves, we are the moves, and you'd better realise it. We have no say in any subject, They do," he explains solidly, his face merely inches away from Kibum's.
"So that's why you left your best friend unprotected a few years back, to be stripped of his identity?" he asks instead and feels inwardly satisfied at the complete shock in the other's expression. "I can see the guilt in you, your eyes have been bearing it ever since," he says and feels free again, as Jonghyun retraces his previous move, letting him go.
Stepping back, his whole face burns. "I'm giving you time to conform. And don't you ever bring that incident up again," he threats whispering, but only manages to make it sound weak.
Kibum doesn't even get to reply before the other disappears into thin air. For now, he can only silently sit on the floor, his eyes never once leaving Taemin's chest as it rises and falls.
(Taemin actually sleeps just one hour after the conversation is over.)
------
Kibum gets that strange feeling the moment he shows up at Taemin's room the next morning.
"You told your mother you're sick, but there's nothing wrong with you. What's up with that?" he asks the boy sprawled on the bed, as he lifts a blue teddy bear randomly lying on the floor.
Taemin lets his sharpie rest on the paper he's been drawing on and looks up just in time to see a teddy bear float towards a shelf, until it's eventually placed there. "How do you know?"
"Magic," Kibum responds and brushes invisible dust off his shoulders. There's something about Taemin that gets him this way, all playful. It's refreshing and satisfying, how he almost feels human with him, almost feels like the age 'his' body is supposed to have. "But seriously, what's with you?" he corks his head.
"I'm just curious," he shrugs.
"About?"
"Meat-suits," he simply says and his stare becomes inquiring, unnerving the Hell out of Kibum, who sighs despite the fact he doesn't need to.
"How did you-"
Taemin beats him to it. "Yesterday night. Just, just please tell me the truth," the boy says and the sadness in his tone sets a weight on Kibum, making him feel guilty for having kept him in the dark for so long.
"Vessel," he says, watching as Taemin shifts to sit Indian-style, waiting for an elaboration. "It's called a vessel; a person who's born after being chosen to become the host of a certain spirit," he finishes, and the other boy frowns. "His body, your body, is claimed by that higher power, and used as a means of manifestation."
Taemin stays silent for a second, almost looking as if he hasn't comprehended anything, but then he asks, "And what about my soul?"
Kibum is frankly shocked by how the boy doesn't even laugh in disbelief or freaks out. "A fragment of it remains trapped in the body, sharing it with the spirit, on occasion. The biggest part of it, it disappears."
He nods, eyes zig-zagging, signaling he's going over every piece of information. "And what if I don't want that to happen?"
Believe me, it's not only you. Kibum lifts his eyebrows. "The Law says They must have your consent, but-"
"Yeah, what if I disagree?" he gets impatient, his teeth worrying his lower lip.
"Well, They- They call you via your Guardian Angel and make the proposal, but rarely does anyone choose not to cooperate," he answers, while still not answering anything, and he can sense the other's rising agitation.
"Okay, but what if I disagree?" he repeats, the biting on his lip becoming more aggressive.
Kibum closes his eyes for a second. "You're made to agree."
"By who."
"By- By me," he finally responds and there's a pause hanging between them, something in the eyes, until Kibum reassures him. "I won't," he shakes his head and purses his lips. He's going against pretty much everything, but can't stand doing the opposite. He's not even supposed to be revealing that much, not until They order him to, but what can he do. It looks like Taemin is going to ask something again, he feels him think, but a muffled voice reaches both their ears, behind the closed door.
"Taemin?" a deep male voice calls, before the door opens, revealing the boy's father (who isn't fast enough to see Kibum disappear). The scar on his chin line stands out, still there ever since the accident, but Taemin's eyes are soon drawn to the digital thermometer on his hands. "Your mother told me to check your temperature."
Taemin silently thanks Kibum, later on, seeing his father's worried response at the 'developing fever' the boy supposedly has, according to the numbers.
------
Jonghyun hasn't exactly been having fun these last few days, months, decades, aeons.
Instead, he's been living in guilt for quite some time, 12 human years to be exact. Angels rarely feel bad, though; the only times they do, it's because they feel they have disappointed somebody. But Jonghyun is no Guardian Angel, he's not supposed to look out for someone. He's merely a Messenger, going from one place to another just to transfer information. He basically just needs to follow orders.
'Then who is it he feels he has let down?' you may rightfully ask. Well, the answer is that this is private stuff, but he may reveal that later on, if he's in the mood.
"Any progress?" a thought pops up suddenly in his head, and he's so startled he almost jumps up. And yes, he's still materialised; he feels cozy on Earth.
"Minho," he thinks and closes his eyes, trying to relax. "Yeah, I guess we're okay," he mentally adds.
"You guess?" the other asks, and the not-really-spoken words echo in Jonghyun's head. "This is easy. Appear, intimidate, prevent. Already been through this," the voice says monotonously, and the other is amused by how even while thinking, Minho wastes no words.
Jonghyun pushes the tip of his hat lower, cascading half his face, and keeps walking, shoes scrapping against the concrete. "I'll work on it," he responds mentally, and probably the hesitation is obvious.
"Anything I should know?" the higher-status Angel asks after a pause and Jonghyun almost freezes.
"Absolutely not," he replies and doesn't really convince himself, but he's happy either way, since it seems to have satisfied Minho, who evacuates his head. But then, Jonghyun closes up, making himself out of reach for a bit, before getting into a phone booth. He doesn't insert coins, doesn't really need to, he just presses the buttons and waits until that familiar, all too emotion-evoking voice answers the call.
Jonghyun doesn't even wait for a second before making himself clear: "I need a favour."
------
"I shouldn't be trusting you," Kibum stubbornly admits while hastily walking, moving through crowds.
"But you are, nevertheless," Jonghyun answers, a few steps forward, as his pace picks up. To be honest, he's not even trusting himself fully in this, either. It's just that thinking gets him into trouble; he lets emotions overrule him and his reason fades away.
"Are you gonna tell me where we're going?" he asks with irritation and sighs at the "Not yet," he receives.
"Why don't you just do that ninja disappearance thing?" a third, panting voice questions, which makes Kibum reach backwards an take Taemin's hand in his own. He swears his maternal instinct kicks in at the weirdest of moments.
Jonghyun isn't afraid to openly answer - in such a busy, hectic city, noone frankly cares about the three of them. "If we do that, our moves will be traced. We can buy ourselves some time by moving on our feet," he actually yells loud enough to reach the boy behind him, and doesn't miss the others' entwined fingers when he briefly looks back. He inwardly wonders just how many Rules the two have exactly broken, and is surprised when something like an invisible slap lands on his face.
"Why would you care," Kibum says with a special something in his tone, and Jonghyun cringes. What's up with... people invading his private thoughts, anyway?
Instead of replying, the Messenger only announces that they're only a block away. Sure enough, after quite some pushing, squeezing through by-passers and following Jonghyun, they come to a halt in front of a vintage-looking building.
Kibum stops the other before he even steps in. "If this is a trap, I swear I'll-"
"It's not," Jonghyun cuts him off, and his eyes are reassuring. He throws a nod towards Taemin, who seems to believe him, and pushes the wooden door open. It's carved and it creeks while giving in, but reveals a squeaky-clean, modern interior. Jonghyun flies up the marble stairs, soon followed by the other two and stops to knock on another, apparently quite secure door. When the mechanisms inside it turn and it opens fluidly, the person behind it studies the three visitors, eyes expectant.
"Hello."
------
Right after Jonghyun got granted his vessel, his training started. Angels don't start off knowing everything, you see, they go through different stages, which are crucial to their status.
Instead of being divided into categories, all of the trainees are educated equally, taught the exact same things for the exact same amount of time. When that period is over, their progress and skills get them into Leagues, teams.
Before Jonghyun became a Messenger, though, he had bonded with a soon-to-be Guardian Angel, named Jinki. Well, he didn't actually have a name, per se, but that's what the previous owner of his body was called. Anyway, the two of them developed a friendship, which lasted even during their non-trainee days. They didn't get to communicate that often, being busy, but they were still there for each other when needed.
Thing is, Jonghyun failed to keep that promise.
When everything went down, Jinki's current mortal under protection was a rapist. Being unable to witness anymore of the man's crude life, Jinki stopped caring for him. In the end, making sure no other humans were hurt, he let him lose his life in a car accident twelve years back from now.
On Earth, alcohol and bad weather conditions were to blame for the death. In Heaven, all the accusations fell on Jinki's shoulders. Despite one's deeds, a Guardian Angel has absolutely no right to judge, only protect. Therefore, having broken the Rules, the Angel was heavily criticised, with sadly noone on his side. Instead of standing up for him, Jonghyun stood back, in fear of punishment, and could only watch as Jinki was tortured, stripped of all characteristics that made him what he was; his soul became mortal, matching his -not quite own- physical body.
What Junki didn't lose, however, was his kind, forgiving spirit. Even now, banned from Heaven and ousted, he holds no grudge against Jonghyun, or anybody else, for that matter. In truth, the other couldn't really have done anything to change the results, but sometimes, sometimes, even They may get sympathetic.
But no matter what, past is past.
------
Jonghyun gives Jinki a grateful smile, standing at the doorway. "Thank you," he says heartily before stepping in.
Kibum stays frozen for a second, mind trying to fill in the blanks, until some pieces of the puzzle click together. He eyes Taemin for just a second, and then keeps alternating between Jinki and Jonghyun. "Is that-? Are you-?" he incompletely asks, before finally fixing his stare on the Messenger. "Is this a change of heart I'm witnessing?" he half-teases and Jonghyun rolls his eyes.
"Probably. Are you coming in?"
------
"Are you an Angel too?" Taemin asks, his moves uncontrolled as his hand comes up to experimentally cup Jinki's cheek, in the way a child needs to touch and feel new things.
"I used to be," the other replies with a smile, but the boy doesn't care; Jinki's aura is more angelic and calming than Kibum's own has ever been.
"Doesn't matter. You feel like one," he admits, almost like trying to comfort him, and his words mask the conversation taking place in the kitchen nearby.
"You're going to what," Kibum asks slowly and leans forward, signaling disbelief.
"I'm gonna report you for failing your task, not being able to take care of your assigned human," Jonghyun responds standing in the middle of the room, hands in his pockets.
Kibum crosses his arms over his chest, pressing the small of his back further against the countertop. "With what proof and how is that going to help anyway? I will still have to continue and will only be up for Judgment when my mortal d-" he stops.
Jonghyun simply looks at him, allowing the plan to sink in Kibum's mind.
"I'm not killing him," he hisses before shaking his head.
"Not necessary," he says and takes a few seconds before elaborating. "We'll leave him here with Jinki - They can't track him down unless you're with him, right. Then I'll go up and tell Them he's no longer alive," he completes and receives a weird stare from Kibum.
"Don't you think They'll be able to check if that's true?"
Jonghyun's voice gets lower, for some unexplainable reason. "Not unless we give Them reason to believe They have no right to do so," he pauses. "Heaven can't meddle in the affairs of Hell," he reminds the other.
Kibum emits a small chuckle. "Is that a suicide we're staging?" he can't really believe this is going to work, but in the meantime, he wants to be as optimistic as he's allowed to be.
"Yeah, actually," he almost smiles, but gets to the matter at hand shortly. "Look, we'll just try to be as convincing as we can. Hopefully, you'll be judged and turned into a mortal, in the end. You will have to keep it down for some time, but They'll forget about you two after a while," he says and stops the moment he witnesses something strange in Kibum's eyes. "That's... That's what you want, right?"
The other Angel looks down. "It is, yeah, just," he shrugs and doesn't continue his sentence. "And what about you?" he asks after a bit, his tone indifferent, making Jonghyun unsure about whether the last part connects with the other.
"I'll be where I belong," he vaguely replies, not really giving a conclusion, and it makes Kibum want to ask what that means, but instead they both remain silent, the air between them slightly electrified.
"I just don't want to lose him, you know," Kibum admits a few minutes later, having nothing else to actually say. He looks up just in time to see Jonghyun's eyes fixing on his own. "He makes me feel like I want to protect him, not like I must. Guess he's the missing younger brother in my non-existent human life, or something," he laughs with a tint of sadness and Jonghyun gives him a lopsided smile.
"It's not that far away," he says in response and proceeds to cough, noticing the sentimental aura in the room, and not really liking it. "Guess we should get going," he practically whispers for no real reason and turns to exit the room, only to be stopped by the lightest of brushes against the skin of his arm.
"Just, thank you," Kibum grins, his index finger lingering for a second and Jonghyun nods. "I still kind of hate your guts, though."
"Feelings are mutual," the Messenger purses his lips in mock-anger, and for a moment the intensity of the situation is forgotten as they both laugh.
Just ten minutes later, after bidding Taemin goodbye with barely any details about the plan, they leave the apartment behind them on their feet. Jonghyun salutes Kibum not more than fifteen minutes later, his smile promising but his eyes sad. The other Angel waits patiently on Earth, anticipating the moment he'll be called by Them, and secretly tries to savor the feeling of being angelic.
(In a house in the heart of the city, though, two men are exchanging body heat in a chilly living room.
"Jinki?" the younger one inquires from his spot on said man's lap, his body in a fetal position and his head resting on the other's thighs.
"Yes?" he looks down at the brown mess that is Taemin's hair, unconsciously reaching for a tuft.
"Am I going to see Kibum again?" he calmly asks, the effect Jinki has on him evident, as his fingers pick on a loose thread from the other's jeans.
Jinki remains quiet, enjoying the absolute silence by listening to his very human heartbeat. He only replies after a minute that feels like eternity.
"You will.")
Author: moi
Pairing: hints of JongKey, OnTae
Genre: AU
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowing~
Summary: Sometimes even the flight of an angel hits turbulence.
A/N: I swear this one had a blast terrorising me. Hope it's worth it? *weak smile* Thanks to honey_x_flavor for putting up with me, heh XD
Taemin is four years old, happily clapping from his spot in the back seat, when the first signs of snow appear outside the moving car. His father is silent, hands gripping and moving the driving wheel with caution, trying to safely drive over wet concrete. His mother's fingers are gingerly pushing various buttons on the radio as she hums different parts of songs that come up.
He doesn't get to realise much, considering the young of his age, but the stimulation derived from the gentle snow and beautiful music is enough to hype him up. An excited giggle comes out of his mouth and his mom turns her head around in response, a smile on her lips and her eyes twinkling. There's something in that action that warms his little belly up, but he doesn't get to experience it for much longer, thanks to a sudden screeching sound that cuts through the air.
The noise is deafening, too loud for him to stand, and there's commotion, panic in his mother's expression, before he loses sight of her. A moment passes before everything slows down, awe concentrating on his face, and every second after that is stretched out of proportion. There's a long-drawn crash and his wide eyes watch as everything is shaken. He remains stable, however, completely still, as a pair of unknown hands covers his torso and holds his head. It's a pleasant feeling, despite seeming unnatural, and it keeps him company with relaxing Shhhh's before everything comes back to normal.
He remains shocked for a while, until he understands the radio isn't on anymore, his mom isn't humming, and his dad's hands are not on the wheel.
His mouth opens wide, releasing loud whimpers, and his memories after that consist of sirens, static and panic.
------
Five years later, one day with a bright blue sky and biting cold wind, Taemin experiences what one may call a 'near-death experience'. He doesn't even know what that means by the time, but he sure as hell has heard his friends brag about it, and how some of their relatives have gone through it. Honestly, he doesn't believe them.
Zipping up his striped sweater and popping up the collar, he flies out of the apartment and steps on the street. He wouldn't have normally left his house under different circumstances, but with some pushing and prodding from his best friend, he manages to get his parents to let him visit the other boy and stay over for the night.
His nose and ears immediately go numb and he only gets consoled by how his breath comes out in heavy white puffs, gradually disappearing into the air. He's completely absent-minded, legs moving on their own in a display of excellent memorisation of the path he needs to follow. With his foot mid-air, about to step off the pavement, a voice calls him urgently, and despite not recognising it, he instinctively steps back. He finds nobody, neither looking at him, nor being even remotely close, but when he turns around once more, he freezes on the spot. A rush of air shocks him as a truck drives by at the speed of light, and Taemin can nearly feel the crash of metal against bones he narrowly managed to escape.
He remains awe-struck for a couple of seconds, the past few moments just now registering in his head.
He makes sure to double-check the traffic before eventually crossing the road, movements much more rapid than ever before.
------
At sixteen, Taemin may not be one of the popular kids, but he sure makes an impression. If the crazed whispers and squeals behind his back are anything to go by, his lithe form and gentle features definitely get the girls, despite the fact that he's not quite that interested.
Choosing the table on the very corner of the school cafeteria, he sets his tray down and takes a seat, chair squeaking as he sets his weight onto it. He never joins any other students he may know, for some reason. It's not that he looks down on them, it's just that he never could really adjust. He always found everybody else his age a little too immature for him.
There's a light draft created by an open window somewhere nearby, and it knocks his empty plastic cup down, making it roll down the table and land on his feet. Dipping under the table to retrieve it, his fingers take hold of it and he brings himself back up, only to see a -just recently- familiar face. Taken by surprise, he turns around, panicked eyes scanning the room for any witnesses. Sighing in relief after noticing everyone was minding their own business, he sits straight and glares at the man in front of him.
"Don't you ever feel the tiniest of fear you might be seen?" he asks and casts his head down. Kibum. Kibum could be considered his best friend, possibly for the last 16 years. He has always been a dark spot in Taemin's life, considering the latter constantly avoided even confirming his presence to the other kids he usually hangs out with. I mean, yeah, how can someone simply explain "Actually, Kibum is my very own kickass Guardian Angel, immortal and available 24/7"? ...Exactly.
"I'll just erase their memories and be over with it," Kibum replies, taking huge, noisy sips from the caramel milkshake between his hands (how did he even get that?).
Taemin rolls his eyes, using his spork to pointlessly move around some of the corn on his dish. "Even I know you can't do that," he says and shakes his head.
"Well," he starts off and looks the other in the eyes, testing. "How are you sure I hadn't done it to you, so that you wouldn't know I actually can do it?" He wiggles his eyebrows and Taemin snorts.
"You are ridiculous," he replies before Kibum's hand invades his personal space, grabbing three French fries and wolfing them down. "And disgusting," the younger adds, getting a toothy grin in return.
Come to think about it, Taemin doesn't know why Kibum seems to consume huge amounts of food everyday. He's sure Angels don't ever feel hungry or thirsty, or at least he's under the impression they don't, but does that mean they can eat anyway? He had also assumed they were all supposed to have wings, but he was proven wrong. Actually, he barely knows the basics about Kibum's kind. It's been merely a year since the day he found out about his Guardian's existence, and even though it may have looked like an accident, Taemin will never stop thinking it happened intentionally, on Kibum's part. He still has so many questions to ask.
Kibum knows. He can feel the boy think; not read his mind, but feel. It's like a feature they all share with their protected ones, and he wishes he didn't really have it. See, there are things Taemin won't really be able to comprehend. However, he wants to give him answers, satisfy his curiosity, but he's not supposed to. He's done enough wrong things up until now.
Silence falls between them as the younger boy starts taking bites off his salad, and Kibum's eyes start wandering. They pass by students, girls scantily dressed, boys conversing loudly, until they fall on one male in particular; his elbow perched on the long counter on the other side of the hall. He's merely a face in the crowd, his stature not even that tall, but his mouth is tense and his eyes are burning while he studies the two of them. Kibum shivers.
"Hey, is that some classmate of yours?" he whispers to the boy opposite him as if sharing a secret.
"Hm?" Taemin looks up, following Kibum's stare and scanning the place. "Which one?"
In return, he frowns at the younger boy, and his eyes turn to relocate the man in question.
He's gone.
------
Jonghyun closes his eyes, vibrant white and calm blue being replaced by black. A wave of air splashes against his body, fingertips tingling, and when he reopens his eyes the moon is the only illumination available.
He takes a good look around, taking in the posters on the wall, the toy figurines on the bookshelves, the laptop on the edge of the bed, the sleeping form lying on the mattress. This boy; if only he knew how important he is, despite his young age and soft appearance. Unless- Unless he already does, considering that poor excuse of a Guardian he was given. One would assume a soul of such importance would be looked after by an Angel of equal integrity, but maybe some times something has to go wrong.
He should take the boy with him, now. He's meant to, but damned be Their principles for needing the mortal's consent for such an action. He inches closer nevertheless, and soon he's already leaned in, hand extended and ready to touch the other's forehead, when a whisper reaches him.
"What are you doing," he hears and turns around, facing none other but the man responsible for any possible problems in the future.
"I should be asking you that," he whispers back and frowns. "What are you even thinking, not only appearing to him for over a year, but not even coming to us when called," his tone may not be angry, but his stare is severe.
"I protect him."
He snorts. "Oh yeah, some protection that is," he makes a face and continues, "I swear to you I'd report you and take him myself if-"
"Take him?" Kibum cuts him off and steps closer. "And what, offer him on a silver platter? Let him become another meat-suit for Them to use? Oh, please," he says calmly. This is pretty much the nature of Angels, they may curse and fight and scratch, but all attacks are silent, smooth.
"Don't forget you need a... meat-suit yourself in order to look even remotely human. And this is none of your business anyway."
Kibum shakes his head. "It has been my business ever since he became my responsibility, sixteen years ago. Don't you think he's already gone through enough? Let him be, for once," he says and makes sure he emphasises each word, but then his chest feels tight and his throat is clenched with the lightest of flicks produced by Jonghyun's fingers. It doesn't hurt, definitely not, but it constricts him greatly. He knows that, had he been a mortal, he would have been choked to death by now.
"Listen," the other Angel says and he gets closer in a flash, without making a sound. "In this, we are all pawns. We don't make the moves, we are the moves, and you'd better realise it. We have no say in any subject, They do," he explains solidly, his face merely inches away from Kibum's.
"So that's why you left your best friend unprotected a few years back, to be stripped of his identity?" he asks instead and feels inwardly satisfied at the complete shock in the other's expression. "I can see the guilt in you, your eyes have been bearing it ever since," he says and feels free again, as Jonghyun retraces his previous move, letting him go.
Stepping back, his whole face burns. "I'm giving you time to conform. And don't you ever bring that incident up again," he threats whispering, but only manages to make it sound weak.
Kibum doesn't even get to reply before the other disappears into thin air. For now, he can only silently sit on the floor, his eyes never once leaving Taemin's chest as it rises and falls.
(Taemin actually sleeps just one hour after the conversation is over.)
------
Kibum gets that strange feeling the moment he shows up at Taemin's room the next morning.
"You told your mother you're sick, but there's nothing wrong with you. What's up with that?" he asks the boy sprawled on the bed, as he lifts a blue teddy bear randomly lying on the floor.
Taemin lets his sharpie rest on the paper he's been drawing on and looks up just in time to see a teddy bear float towards a shelf, until it's eventually placed there. "How do you know?"
"Magic," Kibum responds and brushes invisible dust off his shoulders. There's something about Taemin that gets him this way, all playful. It's refreshing and satisfying, how he almost feels human with him, almost feels like the age 'his' body is supposed to have. "But seriously, what's with you?" he corks his head.
"I'm just curious," he shrugs.
"About?"
"Meat-suits," he simply says and his stare becomes inquiring, unnerving the Hell out of Kibum, who sighs despite the fact he doesn't need to.
"How did you-"
Taemin beats him to it. "Yesterday night. Just, just please tell me the truth," the boy says and the sadness in his tone sets a weight on Kibum, making him feel guilty for having kept him in the dark for so long.
"Vessel," he says, watching as Taemin shifts to sit Indian-style, waiting for an elaboration. "It's called a vessel; a person who's born after being chosen to become the host of a certain spirit," he finishes, and the other boy frowns. "His body, your body, is claimed by that higher power, and used as a means of manifestation."
Taemin stays silent for a second, almost looking as if he hasn't comprehended anything, but then he asks, "And what about my soul?"
Kibum is frankly shocked by how the boy doesn't even laugh in disbelief or freaks out. "A fragment of it remains trapped in the body, sharing it with the spirit, on occasion. The biggest part of it, it disappears."
He nods, eyes zig-zagging, signaling he's going over every piece of information. "And what if I don't want that to happen?"
Believe me, it's not only you. Kibum lifts his eyebrows. "The Law says They must have your consent, but-"
"Yeah, what if I disagree?" he gets impatient, his teeth worrying his lower lip.
"Well, They- They call you via your Guardian Angel and make the proposal, but rarely does anyone choose not to cooperate," he answers, while still not answering anything, and he can sense the other's rising agitation.
"Okay, but what if I disagree?" he repeats, the biting on his lip becoming more aggressive.
Kibum closes his eyes for a second. "You're made to agree."
"By who."
"By- By me," he finally responds and there's a pause hanging between them, something in the eyes, until Kibum reassures him. "I won't," he shakes his head and purses his lips. He's going against pretty much everything, but can't stand doing the opposite. He's not even supposed to be revealing that much, not until They order him to, but what can he do. It looks like Taemin is going to ask something again, he feels him think, but a muffled voice reaches both their ears, behind the closed door.
"Taemin?" a deep male voice calls, before the door opens, revealing the boy's father (who isn't fast enough to see Kibum disappear). The scar on his chin line stands out, still there ever since the accident, but Taemin's eyes are soon drawn to the digital thermometer on his hands. "Your mother told me to check your temperature."
Taemin silently thanks Kibum, later on, seeing his father's worried response at the 'developing fever' the boy supposedly has, according to the numbers.
------
Jonghyun hasn't exactly been having fun these last few days, months, decades, aeons.
Instead, he's been living in guilt for quite some time, 12 human years to be exact. Angels rarely feel bad, though; the only times they do, it's because they feel they have disappointed somebody. But Jonghyun is no Guardian Angel, he's not supposed to look out for someone. He's merely a Messenger, going from one place to another just to transfer information. He basically just needs to follow orders.
'Then who is it he feels he has let down?' you may rightfully ask. Well, the answer is that this is private stuff, but he may reveal that later on, if he's in the mood.
"Any progress?" a thought pops up suddenly in his head, and he's so startled he almost jumps up. And yes, he's still materialised; he feels cozy on Earth.
"Minho," he thinks and closes his eyes, trying to relax. "Yeah, I guess we're okay," he mentally adds.
"You guess?" the other asks, and the not-really-spoken words echo in Jonghyun's head. "This is easy. Appear, intimidate, prevent. Already been through this," the voice says monotonously, and the other is amused by how even while thinking, Minho wastes no words.
Jonghyun pushes the tip of his hat lower, cascading half his face, and keeps walking, shoes scrapping against the concrete. "I'll work on it," he responds mentally, and probably the hesitation is obvious.
"Anything I should know?" the higher-status Angel asks after a pause and Jonghyun almost freezes.
"Absolutely not," he replies and doesn't really convince himself, but he's happy either way, since it seems to have satisfied Minho, who evacuates his head. But then, Jonghyun closes up, making himself out of reach for a bit, before getting into a phone booth. He doesn't insert coins, doesn't really need to, he just presses the buttons and waits until that familiar, all too emotion-evoking voice answers the call.
Jonghyun doesn't even wait for a second before making himself clear: "I need a favour."
------
"I shouldn't be trusting you," Kibum stubbornly admits while hastily walking, moving through crowds.
"But you are, nevertheless," Jonghyun answers, a few steps forward, as his pace picks up. To be honest, he's not even trusting himself fully in this, either. It's just that thinking gets him into trouble; he lets emotions overrule him and his reason fades away.
"Are you gonna tell me where we're going?" he asks with irritation and sighs at the "Not yet," he receives.
"Why don't you just do that ninja disappearance thing?" a third, panting voice questions, which makes Kibum reach backwards an take Taemin's hand in his own. He swears his maternal instinct kicks in at the weirdest of moments.
Jonghyun isn't afraid to openly answer - in such a busy, hectic city, noone frankly cares about the three of them. "If we do that, our moves will be traced. We can buy ourselves some time by moving on our feet," he actually yells loud enough to reach the boy behind him, and doesn't miss the others' entwined fingers when he briefly looks back. He inwardly wonders just how many Rules the two have exactly broken, and is surprised when something like an invisible slap lands on his face.
"Why would you care," Kibum says with a special something in his tone, and Jonghyun cringes. What's up with... people invading his private thoughts, anyway?
Instead of replying, the Messenger only announces that they're only a block away. Sure enough, after quite some pushing, squeezing through by-passers and following Jonghyun, they come to a halt in front of a vintage-looking building.
Kibum stops the other before he even steps in. "If this is a trap, I swear I'll-"
"It's not," Jonghyun cuts him off, and his eyes are reassuring. He throws a nod towards Taemin, who seems to believe him, and pushes the wooden door open. It's carved and it creeks while giving in, but reveals a squeaky-clean, modern interior. Jonghyun flies up the marble stairs, soon followed by the other two and stops to knock on another, apparently quite secure door. When the mechanisms inside it turn and it opens fluidly, the person behind it studies the three visitors, eyes expectant.
"Hello."
------
Right after Jonghyun got granted his vessel, his training started. Angels don't start off knowing everything, you see, they go through different stages, which are crucial to their status.
Instead of being divided into categories, all of the trainees are educated equally, taught the exact same things for the exact same amount of time. When that period is over, their progress and skills get them into Leagues, teams.
Before Jonghyun became a Messenger, though, he had bonded with a soon-to-be Guardian Angel, named Jinki. Well, he didn't actually have a name, per se, but that's what the previous owner of his body was called. Anyway, the two of them developed a friendship, which lasted even during their non-trainee days. They didn't get to communicate that often, being busy, but they were still there for each other when needed.
Thing is, Jonghyun failed to keep that promise.
When everything went down, Jinki's current mortal under protection was a rapist. Being unable to witness anymore of the man's crude life, Jinki stopped caring for him. In the end, making sure no other humans were hurt, he let him lose his life in a car accident twelve years back from now.
On Earth, alcohol and bad weather conditions were to blame for the death. In Heaven, all the accusations fell on Jinki's shoulders. Despite one's deeds, a Guardian Angel has absolutely no right to judge, only protect. Therefore, having broken the Rules, the Angel was heavily criticised, with sadly noone on his side. Instead of standing up for him, Jonghyun stood back, in fear of punishment, and could only watch as Jinki was tortured, stripped of all characteristics that made him what he was; his soul became mortal, matching his -not quite own- physical body.
What Junki didn't lose, however, was his kind, forgiving spirit. Even now, banned from Heaven and ousted, he holds no grudge against Jonghyun, or anybody else, for that matter. In truth, the other couldn't really have done anything to change the results, but sometimes, sometimes, even They may get sympathetic.
But no matter what, past is past.
------
Jonghyun gives Jinki a grateful smile, standing at the doorway. "Thank you," he says heartily before stepping in.
Kibum stays frozen for a second, mind trying to fill in the blanks, until some pieces of the puzzle click together. He eyes Taemin for just a second, and then keeps alternating between Jinki and Jonghyun. "Is that-? Are you-?" he incompletely asks, before finally fixing his stare on the Messenger. "Is this a change of heart I'm witnessing?" he half-teases and Jonghyun rolls his eyes.
"Probably. Are you coming in?"
------
"Are you an Angel too?" Taemin asks, his moves uncontrolled as his hand comes up to experimentally cup Jinki's cheek, in the way a child needs to touch and feel new things.
"I used to be," the other replies with a smile, but the boy doesn't care; Jinki's aura is more angelic and calming than Kibum's own has ever been.
"Doesn't matter. You feel like one," he admits, almost like trying to comfort him, and his words mask the conversation taking place in the kitchen nearby.
"You're going to what," Kibum asks slowly and leans forward, signaling disbelief.
"I'm gonna report you for failing your task, not being able to take care of your assigned human," Jonghyun responds standing in the middle of the room, hands in his pockets.
Kibum crosses his arms over his chest, pressing the small of his back further against the countertop. "With what proof and how is that going to help anyway? I will still have to continue and will only be up for Judgment when my mortal d-" he stops.
Jonghyun simply looks at him, allowing the plan to sink in Kibum's mind.
"I'm not killing him," he hisses before shaking his head.
"Not necessary," he says and takes a few seconds before elaborating. "We'll leave him here with Jinki - They can't track him down unless you're with him, right. Then I'll go up and tell Them he's no longer alive," he completes and receives a weird stare from Kibum.
"Don't you think They'll be able to check if that's true?"
Jonghyun's voice gets lower, for some unexplainable reason. "Not unless we give Them reason to believe They have no right to do so," he pauses. "Heaven can't meddle in the affairs of Hell," he reminds the other.
Kibum emits a small chuckle. "Is that a suicide we're staging?" he can't really believe this is going to work, but in the meantime, he wants to be as optimistic as he's allowed to be.
"Yeah, actually," he almost smiles, but gets to the matter at hand shortly. "Look, we'll just try to be as convincing as we can. Hopefully, you'll be judged and turned into a mortal, in the end. You will have to keep it down for some time, but They'll forget about you two after a while," he says and stops the moment he witnesses something strange in Kibum's eyes. "That's... That's what you want, right?"
The other Angel looks down. "It is, yeah, just," he shrugs and doesn't continue his sentence. "And what about you?" he asks after a bit, his tone indifferent, making Jonghyun unsure about whether the last part connects with the other.
"I'll be where I belong," he vaguely replies, not really giving a conclusion, and it makes Kibum want to ask what that means, but instead they both remain silent, the air between them slightly electrified.
"I just don't want to lose him, you know," Kibum admits a few minutes later, having nothing else to actually say. He looks up just in time to see Jonghyun's eyes fixing on his own. "He makes me feel like I want to protect him, not like I must. Guess he's the missing younger brother in my non-existent human life, or something," he laughs with a tint of sadness and Jonghyun gives him a lopsided smile.
"It's not that far away," he says in response and proceeds to cough, noticing the sentimental aura in the room, and not really liking it. "Guess we should get going," he practically whispers for no real reason and turns to exit the room, only to be stopped by the lightest of brushes against the skin of his arm.
"Just, thank you," Kibum grins, his index finger lingering for a second and Jonghyun nods. "I still kind of hate your guts, though."
"Feelings are mutual," the Messenger purses his lips in mock-anger, and for a moment the intensity of the situation is forgotten as they both laugh.
Just ten minutes later, after bidding Taemin goodbye with barely any details about the plan, they leave the apartment behind them on their feet. Jonghyun salutes Kibum not more than fifteen minutes later, his smile promising but his eyes sad. The other Angel waits patiently on Earth, anticipating the moment he'll be called by Them, and secretly tries to savor the feeling of being angelic.
(In a house in the heart of the city, though, two men are exchanging body heat in a chilly living room.
"Jinki?" the younger one inquires from his spot on said man's lap, his body in a fetal position and his head resting on the other's thighs.
"Yes?" he looks down at the brown mess that is Taemin's hair, unconsciously reaching for a tuft.
"Am I going to see Kibum again?" he calmly asks, the effect Jinki has on him evident, as his fingers pick on a loose thread from the other's jeans.
Jinki remains quiet, enjoying the absolute silence by listening to his very human heartbeat. He only replies after a minute that feels like eternity.
"You will.")