(no subject)
So basically I'm sitting here, talking to Ben and Mellie, and I love them. Reaally. Like the kind of love that isn't like, you're "in love" but you would give your life for them kind of love. I think that is a completely different kind. It's weird, I guess.
But I really dont' know what I'm updating about, everything in general I guess.
Um I'm really satisfied with this year so far, it's going good.
I just hope I don't stay the same all year. I need change. I want to be able to make friends and keep them. I want to sing, and not care if it sounds like crap, or if I look like an idiot in the process. I want to speak up in class, not caring if my answer is wrong, and not worrying about sounding like a moron. I want to say what I'm actually thinking, instead of what I think will make me sound good. I want to read something, and comprehend it. I want to be more in-tune with what's going on in our would, and what's going on in the lives of everyone around me. I want more freedom from my parents. And I want them to trust me not the repeat the past, and not to make the same mistakes as my brothers and sisters. I want to gossip less, and actually get to know people, and make judgements based on what I know, not what I've heard. I want to lose weight. I want to be satisfied with myself. I want to stop drinking soda. I want to finally be original. I want to discover things for myself, and introduce them to someone else for once. I want to start saving my money. I want to start writing in my actual journal, one that can't be deleted. I want to trust people until they give me a reason not to, and I want to love unconditionally. I want to stop talking about people behind their backs, and I want to stop being so selfish.
I realize that this is a lot of stuff to want, but I just can't help it. I mean, for the most part, I really like myself. But I really don't know.
But I really dont' know what I'm updating about, everything in general I guess.
Um I'm really satisfied with this year so far, it's going good.
I just hope I don't stay the same all year. I need change. I want to be able to make friends and keep them. I want to sing, and not care if it sounds like crap, or if I look like an idiot in the process. I want to speak up in class, not caring if my answer is wrong, and not worrying about sounding like a moron. I want to say what I'm actually thinking, instead of what I think will make me sound good. I want to read something, and comprehend it. I want to be more in-tune with what's going on in our would, and what's going on in the lives of everyone around me. I want more freedom from my parents. And I want them to trust me not the repeat the past, and not to make the same mistakes as my brothers and sisters. I want to gossip less, and actually get to know people, and make judgements based on what I know, not what I've heard. I want to lose weight. I want to be satisfied with myself. I want to stop drinking soda. I want to finally be original. I want to discover things for myself, and introduce them to someone else for once. I want to start saving my money. I want to start writing in my actual journal, one that can't be deleted. I want to trust people until they give me a reason not to, and I want to love unconditionally. I want to stop talking about people behind their backs, and I want to stop being so selfish.
I realize that this is a lot of stuff to want, but I just can't help it. I mean, for the most part, I really like myself. But I really don't know.