xxxholic chapter 169
Page 1:
So, don't disappear.
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Watanuki: Shaoran's voice...?
Doumeki: What's wrong?
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Watanuki: ...I will try my best to do whatever I can do
Because, I want to stay here.
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Woman: Please take care of me today, Sensei.
Watanuki: Um
Before we start cooking...
Woman: What does Sensei want to talk to me about?
Watanuki: You said last time,
You won't eat what you make because it feels disgusting.
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Woman: Yes
Watanuki: Why is that, can you tell me?
Woman: Because I know, how disgusting I am.
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Woman: What I've touched, worn, seen, and what I've felt
Because I've experienced it myself, I remember it all.
Those are all digusting things.
The me living through all thing is even more disgusting.
So I think the least I can do is not eat what I cook.
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Watanuki: But, other people also touch a lot of things each day...
Woman: I don't know about other people,
And I don't want to know.
Because wouldn't it be more digusting if I knew?
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Watanuki: But, aren't you married?
Woman: Yes.
Watanuki: So, that person as well?
Woman: Yes, I don't know very well. From ___ onwards, I've only seen him three times.
So it doesn't matter.
If I don't know, then it won't feel disgusting.
Not knowing something is the same as it not existing.
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Watanuki: ...No.
Woman: Hm?
Watanuki: I think... I think you're wrong.
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Watanuki: Not knowing something doesn't mean it does not exist.
Some times, even if the heart doesn't know, the body will know.
Now, your body already knows.
What you truly want to do.