I needed a fresh start...
As you may have noticed my whole journal before this date has been deleted. I'm starting over...most of the things in there were too trivial and i feel the urge to be a different person. for those of you who don't know me my name is troy antonio cardenas. i'm 19 years old at for the next 19 days anyway. i live in loveland colorado with my mom, brother, and sister. i have an awesome sweet funny beautiful g/f...Kayla...who rocks my fuckin socks. i don't have friends here where i am because quite bluntly most of the people i've ever met here are very superficial and if they're not superficial they're genuine ass holes. I do however have friends...a very close group of them in my home town el paso texas(and one in japan). Benny, Yacko, Zonnia, Zinnia, and Alex are more like a second family then they are friends... the only bad part about them is the fact that they're so fucking awesome raised my standards friend wise and its pretty fuckin hard to meet people who are half as good as they are. i smoke...Djarum vanillas. i'm planning on quiting after the 3 packs i have left are gone. I've been sober for about 4 months now...not really by choice but drinking alone is lame. Today was an alright day my girl friend called me around 1 it was nice to hear her voice i hadn't for a couple of days so i talked to her a little bit being happy to know that everything was cool with us...so after a short convo we hang up. then for finding a job's sake i got a hair cut i think it looks alright...its kinda short though. the girl who cut it really weirded me out...she was kinda creepy and shaky. shaky hair stylist...great. anyhow she starts by brushing all my hair down and says "very nice...what is your natural hair color?" i really don't remember so i tell her its something like what it is now. then she asks how old i am...and she is really shaky and its kinda grossing me out and then she gets right in my face checking if the lengths are even on both sides i guess i felt so uncomfortable... so i tell her i'm 19...then i can see that she's thinking and i was hoping that she would bring up anything at all so i could get the fact that i had a g/f out there. so after she asks me if i have any plans for x-mas she asks what i did for thanksgiving...what a relief. i told her i met my g/f's family and had dinner with them. she didn't say anything. then after a while she says i think this is looking really good your girl friend is going to be impressed...then i felt kind of guilty because i was thinking in my mind the whole time...hurry up hurry up you beast. still she was creeping me out and she's like all done it looks really good on you you look like a new man so i was just polite and i smiled payed and got the hell out of there. i swear she scared me...and i mean like something inside me was scared of that girl. could have been the shaky hands with scissors in them inches from my juggular...who knows? but she made me feel un-easy. after that i got home and got the thumbs up from my mom and my sister my mom likes it way better this way...i like it better too in some places like the back was all scraggly and now its cleaner which looks good and i look thinner in the face. after that i kinda just sat around. now that my hair is more appropriate for work i should probably start looking for a job again. exciting post! i know! heh well i'm boring myself now...i'll post pics of all the people in my life soon. END.