dead weight
alright...here it goes. the beggining of this year was amazing for me. i was right where God wanted me and He was using me to reach those that nobody had yet. i was on fire for God. but slowly that started fadeing. i started getting selfish and i wanted to do stuff for myself. and so that fire died. since probably around the begining of this semester i have been what Jasper refered to as dead weight. i have been releying on others to get my fix on God and have brought those around me down with me. i influinced people to not care. just like i didnt. i kept saying to my self that i will get right with God later. after i graduate. i kept putting him off. there were times when i would try to start doing devos again and i would fail miserably because i would lose focus and start being selfish again. well i am amazingly proud to say that i have gotten my fire back. it all started with what jasper said to me last sunday. he said that i need to get myself together or i need to go ahead and go to singles. now at first i was offended that he would even think to say that to me when i havent personaly seen fruit from the other seniors. i started thinking what did he have against me. well he doesnt. God used jasper to get me thinking. and thinking i did. i talked to chris ross that night and i realized that i have so much potential. i can change the world around me. but i have only been focusing on myself. so it started a war within me. God was fighting for me but satan was scared to let Him have me so i spent then next two days thinking. and meditating. and on tuesday night i recomitted my life to Christ. i have been praying that He put back the fire in me that i used to have. put back in me the passion i once had for my peers. and He is doing exactly that. i feel so amazing right now its not even funny. God is doing so much in my heart that i cant hold it in. i know that i have ruined my testamony over the past few months. but i am starting new. for Christ renews us and clenses us and gives us new beginings. i pray that i will be able to be a positive influince on all of my friends and to have a heart like Christs. thanks to those of you who read this and please be praying for me.