Rant
Don't read if you don't want to.
Whatever anyone thinks, I actually couldn't give a sh*t about uni at the moment. I can always re-sit first year again next time around. What's more important, animating a 3D model, or my mother and grandmother beating cancer? I know where my priorities are, and it's not with effing game design. Yes I was worried about the financial side of being a university student, but now that I've gotten next years loans out of the way I can worry about things that really matter. Like making sure my mother doesn't get any infections while she's going through her chemo, and that brings me to my first rant... this might be short tho', cuz I can barely see what I'm typing at the moment.
So yesterday I came home after a decent day out at uni, followed by pizza. Then as soon as I stepped through the door, my aunt gets up and starts yelling at me and crack_tod . Yes I DO know that I need to clean up the house so mum won't get ill. I know I'm stupid but I'm not THAT stupid. And when do you think I have the time, when I'm running around in between hospital and uni and god knows where else trying to support my two closest family members who have cancer?! I try my best, you obviously don't see that. I know I'm 19, I'm an adult. But it doesnt mean I can cope with this while worrying about sh*t tonnes of everything else that other students worry about.
Apparently I hardly show emotion other than anger and happiness. You think I don't cry? I don't, because when I do I know I won't stop. And surprise surprise, after weeks of holding in everything, I had a good long 7 hour crying session last night, which only stopped because I went to sleep. And that was embarassing. No wait, it happened this morning as well. Great. I'm supposed to be the laid-back one, the one who just goes with it, and stays strong for everyone else by being that way. Well tough sh*t, I've changed. Who wouldn't, after all this? I'm not that strong, I can break just as easily as anyone else can, and I have.
Whatever anyone thinks, I actually couldn't give a sh*t about uni at the moment. I can always re-sit first year again next time around. What's more important, animating a 3D model, or my mother and grandmother beating cancer? I know where my priorities are, and it's not with effing game design. Yes I was worried about the financial side of being a university student, but now that I've gotten next years loans out of the way I can worry about things that really matter. Like making sure my mother doesn't get any infections while she's going through her chemo, and that brings me to my first rant... this might be short tho', cuz I can barely see what I'm typing at the moment.
So yesterday I came home after a decent day out at uni, followed by pizza. Then as soon as I stepped through the door, my aunt gets up and starts yelling at me and crack_tod . Yes I DO know that I need to clean up the house so mum won't get ill. I know I'm stupid but I'm not THAT stupid. And when do you think I have the time, when I'm running around in between hospital and uni and god knows where else trying to support my two closest family members who have cancer?! I try my best, you obviously don't see that. I know I'm 19, I'm an adult. But it doesnt mean I can cope with this while worrying about sh*t tonnes of everything else that other students worry about.
Apparently I hardly show emotion other than anger and happiness. You think I don't cry? I don't, because when I do I know I won't stop. And surprise surprise, after weeks of holding in everything, I had a good long 7 hour crying session last night, which only stopped because I went to sleep. And that was embarassing. No wait, it happened this morning as well. Great. I'm supposed to be the laid-back one, the one who just goes with it, and stays strong for everyone else by being that way. Well tough sh*t, I've changed. Who wouldn't, after all this? I'm not that strong, I can break just as easily as anyone else can, and I have.