ALL ALONE!!!

[x_miss_you_x]

u know what scares me??? being alone... its my biggest fear ever. im so pathetic that i even dream of all my friends moving and me being stuck in rye alone and i wake up crying! why am i like that, why do i have so much love for my friends??? they dont realize how badly i get hurt when they do something so small like not returning a phone call. i mean i know they have other things going on in their life and all but like i can't help but wonder why they didn't want to call me. the only ppl who called me in the past 4 months are kayle, ariana, monica, and tammy, tammy only to ask what we are wearing for soccer and monica was calling me back to clear up a fight. i call all of my friends almost everyday and i start to wonder if they even want to talk to me. and what about in school, do they want to be seen with me? do they want to joke around with me?
there are certain times, like during and after soccer, when i'm completely happy about my life and i feel as if all my friends actually ENJOY my company. but once i leave and call someone all the feelings come back again!
i just read aileen's lj and it seems like shes going through the same thing as me, she feels lonely too. how many more of my friends feel this way? do all of my friends feel like this and we are all too caught up in our own lives to notice? i'm going to try and call people and hang out with people as much as possible to make sure that everyone knows how much they matter to me. i dont want anyone to feel like no one cares for them.
I LOVE YOU GUYS AND I'LL BE HERE FOR YOU
but will you be there for me???????
maybe this will put me in a better mood... 10 MORE DAYS TILL VICKY COMES!!!
x0x0x0x0
~kimmy