Different
Not so long ago I was on a phone with our mutual acquaintance. The conversation veered towards you, and I carefully maneuvered away from that subject.
Afterwards I was thinking how different that was from before when I would carefully maneuver all the conversations towards you.
It is a new side of the same coin. The side that was always a possibility.
Now that it is a reality, I don't feel anything except that it is different.