i love you, i have loved you along
well, so sunday ... he was willing to take it all back, without any promises. and like a fool, i got my hope up again. and then i told him not to take it back if i had no shot in hell, and he didn't. so i was crushed again. and i stayed in bed all day, crying, ranting, scaring the hell out of my friends. talek was very kind to me, taking the brunt of my anger and feelings. i don't know what i would have done without him. or nicole. or the endless list of people who have helped me.
i saw him today. and he gave me that look with the pain in his eyes, and how much he really cared. he wants my pain to be gone. but, he can't do that. and i wanted to hug him. and touch him. and kiss him. and slap him. and all i could do was muster all my pain, love, loyalty and desire into one look and stare him in the eyes. it hurt so much, and i had to contain my tears. its just painful.
i saw him today. and he gave me that look with the pain in his eyes, and how much he really cared. he wants my pain to be gone. but, he can't do that. and i wanted to hug him. and touch him. and kiss him. and slap him. and all i could do was muster all my pain, love, loyalty and desire into one look and stare him in the eyes. it hurt so much, and i had to contain my tears. its just painful.