How to Handle a Kitten
(lyrics by Susanna R. A. Miller)
(tune: "How to Handle a Woman" from Camelot)
"How to handle a kitten?
There's a way," said the wise old man,
"a way known to every feline
since the Pharaoh's affairs began."
"Do I sign up for obedience courses?
Do I get a water-gun and spray?
Do I bribe with treats or meats in saucers?"
Said he, smiling, "No; no way."
"How to handle a kitten?
Mark me well, I will tell you, sir
The way to handle a kitten
Is to love her, simply love her
Merely love her, love her, love her"
(tune: "How to Handle a Woman" from Camelot)
"How to handle a kitten?
There's a way," said the wise old man,
"a way known to every feline
since the Pharaoh's affairs began."
"Do I sign up for obedience courses?
Do I get a water-gun and spray?
Do I bribe with treats or meats in saucers?"
Said he, smiling, "No; no way."
"How to handle a kitten?
Mark me well, I will tell you, sir
The way to handle a kitten
Is to love her, simply love her
Merely love her, love her, love her"