Migraine Coma chapter 3: Phantosmia
Title: Migraine Coma: "Phantosmia"
Chapter: #3/#?
Author: rookie_cherii
Band/Pairing: Chiyu x Takeru (SuG)
Rating: PG
Warnings: none.
Summary: Chiyu has found a new path to follow and his life seems to be back on track. Then, an unexpected incident pulls him into the nights of Tokyo, and back to the blackest eyes of the boy he thought had forgotten about him.
Comments: It's been a while. I hope I'll be able to continue this, and some day bring it to a satisfying end. Please enjoy.
Disclaimer: Don't own.
As Chiyu stares at the letter he finds, once more, himself detached from reality. His surroundings have disappeared, time has stopped. Meaning and reason have abandoned him. He feels the aching in his chest, the pounding of his heart. He feels the paper in his hands, the cooling, drying sweat that has pulled his hair down a little. The room feels cool and his naked figure is freezing without him having quite realized it yet. The alcohol is still cruising in his veins, but it doesn't help anymore, doesn't leave him numb.
Is this a game of revenge?
A game of life and death?
Hazuki said it's not something that would kill him - but Chiyu isn't sure now as he reads the words on the letter again and again. Life; death, Live; die? He can imagine the quiet voice whisper the words, coo them darkly in his ear. The tiny hair inside the path to his hearing tickle under the imaginary breathes. Memory blends into another, and he can catch the scent of the boy who has left only a while ago. For a moment he almost thinks Chisa has come back, and this makes Chiyu snap out of the imaginary world. He finds himself alone, cold, in the dim room. The colorful lights from outside have painted the walls in green and pink. His skin looks sick in the light peeking from the world outside.
This room is no sanctuary for his mind.
Chiyu roams to his clothes and begins to get dressed. The crumbled, messy bedcovers smell of the sex; he might not have the nose of an animal or a wine taster, but Chiyu knows the scent of pheromone and sweat when he faces it. Here, the scent is almost unfamiliar; if he'd leave and return, he's sure he couldn't tell himself from it anymore. The memory rewinds in his head: smooth boyish curves, pale flat stomach, soft thighs against his sides. Quiet moans, nails scratching his back. Did the tiny boy really enjoy it, or has he learned to pretend so well that it's impossible to tell, anymore? What about Takeru, what about the black eyed boy's metal shields and walls that separate his world from the rest?
Inhaling deep Chiyu pulls on the T-shirt, puts the letter back into the envelope. He picks up his bag, puts his shoes on, and leaves the room as it is. He faces the maze of corridors, and after a while of roaming finally comes to the elevator. The hotel is quiet. In the elevator the same quiet music plays on, and in the lobby the jazz tunes continue as swingy as earlier. The woman at the reception bows to him without a word as Chiyu leaves.
The second his feet touch the pavement his phone comes to life, filling his bag with the simple ringtone. There was a time when Chiyu cared about the sounds his phone made, but somehow his interest towards such things died with age. Maybe it's a normal thing. Every day he meets more people whose phones are permanently on manner mode.
Fishing the ringing object from his bag Chiyu flips it open without further thought. "Yes?"
It's silent for a good while. Chiyu stays still, looking about. Does someone follow his every step, or is this mere coincidence?
"Did you have fun?" asks the voice finally.
"Hazuki?" Chiyu asks, recognizing the voice from the earlier call.
"Did you?"
"What was the point of that? Why did I have to see him? How do you know I left already?" Chiyu moves aside, turning his back to the hotel doors. Lively music plays closeby: boys, boys, boys......
"You ask too much. I'm not the one who you should be asking from."
The words make Chiyu's heart feel a small pang. He's aware of this, very much so. He wants to ask these things from the blonde, but at the same time he's fully aware of the fact that Hazuki probably will tell him to be patient or something as ridiculous if he'd ask to meet the boy.
He knows all he can do is accept this game set up for him.
"There's a club opening tonight. Did you know? It's in north Shinjuku. Lucky you, you're not too far away. No need to get your car."
"Why do you know I drove here?" asks Chiyu.
"It's obvious. You got to know about the rendezvous a bit over 8, and you had to be there by 9, so a person like you who wants to advance at this as fast as possible wouldn't bother taking a train from Roppongi to Shinjuku. But if you move too fast you might miss some details."
Miss something? "What have I missed?"
"That's not important. Anyway - the club. It's called NYX. You might find a familiar face if you go before midnight." And with this, he hangs up. Chiyu is once more left listening to the line beeping.
The old conversation echoes in his mind: ...but then again, doesn't everyone seem to, these days?
Chiyu shakes his head. He's having a hard time stopping asking questions and giving up again. He thinks about the sex and the little boy toy his hands held only a while ago. Only a little while ago he surrendered himself to the surrounding night and instinct, giving up on things like his beliefs and morals. His groin itches at the thought of this and Chiyu can't quite help admitting the fact that he really did enjoy the hour.
NYX. Chiyu focuses on this detail, shaking the other thoughts for a while. It's not proving easy. Questions party in his head. Why does he feel he needs to do this so bad? Why does he want to meet Takeru again so bad that he's putting his happy daily life into danger? What if this will get Shinpei involved?
NYX, NYX, NYX, NYX.
The less he thinks, the more suddenly the memory hits him: the advertisement handed to him earlier when he waited for Shinpei in Shibuya. The Osakan begins to rummage through his bag, finally finding the tiny flyer. Chiyu begins to follow the map on it.
What if Shinpei will get involved?
What then? Chiyu bites his lip as he goes. He'd have to explain throughoutly: that he decided to play this twisted game of hide and seek in order to possibly meet his ex boyfriend, who he thought forget about him, and who, by the way, seems pretty damn sadistic and messed up. Yeah, Chiyu wants to meet this guy again. And why?
He slows down a little.
Then, he shakes it away, and continues walking.
The club isn't fancy nor too big, but it has a very fine air. The music is loud - some domestic trance, Chiyu doesn't know what artist is it. A DJ is working on a pedestal, and people are dancing, some just hanging about the railing surrounding the dance floor. Lights flash about. Security guards stand by each side of the entrance and here and there inside. The club is in two floors; in the upped one Chiyu can spot a separate area where a few men clad in suits are smoking. He averts his eyes.
You might find a familiar face if you go before midnight.
It's not midnight yet, so Chiyu racks his brain: who did Hazuki mean? Brown eyes scout the room, various groups: girls, boys, friends, lovers, dancers, another mixed group. He doesn't recognize any of these people. The brunette turns for the bar. He makes his way amongst people, past tables, up a flight of three steps.
The bar is tended by more girls than boys. They're dressed in bikini, fur mufflers and pom pom earrings. Name tags are attached to their bikini tops. A girl by the name Nadeshiko takes his order, smiles and tries to chat with him, but another guy arrives to talk with her, and Chiyu leaves the bar as he notices the advertisement saying the drinks are free tonight.
Still searching, Chiyu slowly roams along the pathways between people. The music changes into something by a male artist and the DJ works the song to an unrecognizable condition. Chiyu takes small sips of the beer as he walks. He ignores the strange looks one gets when heading in a club like this alone without even making an attempt to chat anyone up.
Then, suddenly, as he's getting closer to what seems like a lounge area with large sofas forming a few round booths his eyes find the familiar face. He hurries to the booth-like area where the lamp hangs low above the round, drink-filled table casting its red light over the glasses and bottles. There are about ten people around the table, a few of them sitting in each others' laps. As Chiyu approaches they hardly notice anything until he's by the opening between the two pieces of furniture forming the round shape. "Masato!" the brunette breathes out, his hand on the back of the other sofa, the other holding the beer, chocolate eyes locked on the well-dressed boy across the table.
Masato's eyes show his surprise as he hurries up and past the people on the sofa. "Chiyu! What are you doing here?" He smiles a little, and Chiyu feels a little better, knowing he hasn't disturbed the other greatly.
Masato has changed a little since they saw each other the last time, and Chiyu notices this easily. His hair is a far darker shade, his cheekbones are a tad more visible. Wearing green contacts, it's hard to tell if his gentle gaze has also grown blacker. The figure slightly shorter than Chiyu's is clad in a white button-up with a black collar, a dark vest on top, black trousers hugging his legs. Simple but stylish, alive and well in front of Chiyu's eyes. He feels like he had already conquered something.
"I... I got an advertisement and decided to check it out", lies the Osakan. He can't tell Masato what he's involved in. "How are you? How have you been?"
"Come, sit down." Masato takes his hand, gently, friendly, and tugs Chiyu into the couch circle and past the table. They sit down, the others ignoring them, having gone on with their own conversations. Masato picks up a tall glass and takes a long sip of the red drink, pushing the lemon slice on the edge away from his nose. As he puts it down he exhales and turns to Chiyu. "I've been okay. Busy with school and life. What about you?"
Chiyu thinks for a while. "I've been fine... Mm, spending time with Shinpei and such. I visited home a few times."
"How's your family?"
"They're great."
Now, Chiyu feels a bit awkward. He knows Masato is expecting him to ask the usual question. He knows Masato can see he's on the edge of his nerves. He knows Masato is only waiting for Chiyu to say it aloud; he won't insist, he only waits. But at the same time something about Masato makes Chiyu uncomfortable in a way he has never been before. The now dark brunette male beside him has changed more than Chiyu thought. His smile is just as gentle, but there is a shadow hanging over him. Still, what a national custom it is to try to push such things aside, even if it cost one what could be a lovely meeting between friends after some long months.
Finally Chiyu pulls himself together. "How're studies going? Are you still hanging out with Mitsuru?"
Masato hums gently. "I think I'll be able to graduate early. Dad's offered me a trainee place in his company." He smiles and drinks more, eyes inspecting Chiyu. "As for Mitsuru, I sometimes get together with him." His tone suggests he doesn't finish the sentence, but he doesn't continue, either. Instead, he drinks, puts the glass aside, and crosses a leg over the other. "You? How is it with Shinpei?"
"He's so nice." Chiyu leans back against the sofa and turns to look at the people around. He doesn't recognize any of them, but assumes they're Masato's friends. "He's really understanding and worries about me all the while." He laughs. Masato smiles.
"That's a good thing... Well, as long as he doesn't stress himself." A nod. "Why didn't you invite him with you tonight?"
"Oh, I saw him earlier. I think he said something about being busy tonight." Chiyu shrugs. Masato doesn't speak for a while. Instead, they both drink in silence, and for a moment Masato encages in a short conversation with the red haired boy next to him. Chiyu is sure he hears Masato mention him; maybe it's a short introduction or something. Then, the brunette turns to the Osakan.
"You're a bad liar, Chiyu", Masato points out gently. This direct way of saying things is somewhat new, and Chiyu finds himself momentarily baffled. He blinks, lowers the beer, and looks at Masato. Although the type to want to solve other's problems and help people, Masato usually would have expressed himself less direct and more in a form of a pushing force that would cause one to find answers to their own problems, open up and speak about the issue at hand - or at least that was what the Masato Chiyu thinks he knew did. But rather, here they are, and Masato is looking at him in the eyes, serious, lips pressed into a thin line.
"Huh?" asks Chiyu.
Masato shakes his head and smiles. "Nothing. Are you doing something after this? Going somewhere?"
Chiyu, still confused, puts the beer on the edge of the table and mumbles, "Well, I think I should head home to catch some sleep..." Only as he says this he realizes he's quite tired after the day. The brunette gets up, nods a bit to Masato. "We should stay more in touch."
Masato smiles. "True. Call me sometime. Or I can call you when I'm not busy."
Chiyu nods and smiles a little in return. "Yeah. Well... See you."
He doesn't wait for polite phrases as he makes his way past knees and the table and away from the sofas. The party goes on, the night is full of life, but all Chiyu wants now is to get home. He catches the scent of the small blonde again, the same string of gentle scent as in the hotel room, and for a moment he's sure Chisa must have passed him by. Turning to look more as a reflex than out of his free will Chiyu peeks around; unable to see anyone familiar (unless he'd look to the lounge) he shakes his head and makes his way out to the street.
He turns the corner and makes his way back to the parking lot, failing to see the eyes that follow his every move.
***
It's five in the morning, and Chiyu hasn't slept. The tiredness has become a strange, lazy sensation in his system. It's rather a sense of extreme boredom than that of the need to sleep. He's sure that lying down wouldn't result in any sleep; his eyes hardly stay shut when he blinks, talk about trying to close them for longer periods of time. Besides, the fact that he's not really thinking about anything and just sitting on the sofa is close to a state of rest. He's not stressing his body - so doesn't it get the same amount of ease as it would if he'd sleep?
No, he knows it isn't the same thing, but at the same time he likes to think so. It's easier.
6 AM. 7 AM. 8 AM. He falls to the sofa, asleep. In half an hour he stirs, wakes up again, only to fall back asleep in a little while. This continues for hours. He feels sick. He falls asleep again around ten thirty.
In his dream Chiyu goes back to the other day, afternoon in Shibuya. Shinpei and himself are walking across the street and someone bumps into Shinpei. But instead of the frozen moment, the gap in time, he looses Shinpei into the crowd which is slowly turning into an ocean. He's alone in the masses of unknown faces, and amongst people he catches glimpses of Shinpei and the hooded boy who'd ran into Shinpei. Chiyu reaches out, sounds die, and he catches something... The boy turns, blonde hair peeks from under the parka hood.
And now he's in the hotel room, crying out the edgy name, but in his arms is the boy who gets paid for doing this; skinny, Chiyu can feel the shoulder blades with significant ease. Smooth thighs brush against his lower back, but the boy cries crystal tears, and no matter how hard he tries, Chiyu can't manage to ask if he's hurting or happy.
Then, he's in the club, and Masato sits on his lap legs spread, knees on the sofa on both sides of Chiyu's hips. The gentle smile breaks into a strange grin as the dark haired thin male says, "You're lying. Tell me the truth. Why are you looking for him? You're not happy with your life."
And Hazuki's hands press on his shoulders, the other brown haired male leaning to say into his ear, "Your life is boring. You wouldn't have taken this chance if you were happy. You would have ignored the emails to begin with. But instead, you're looking for--"
"Me", says a quiet whisper, and Chiyu tries to peek past Masato, catching glimpses of the long parka, the boy dancing to the beat of the music, but he can't see the face, their eyes won't meet.
"I'm looking for you", Chiyu whispers. "Why can't you just come to me?"
"Why would he return to a traitor?" asks Masato's voice.
"Why would he return to the one who broke him?" asks Hazuki.
"I didn't mean to! And I'm sorry! Let me tell that to him!" cries Chiyu.
"First", says the boy, "I want you to understand how deep you cut me."
And everything goes dark.
Chiyu wakes up into the sound of the phone. The ringing goes on, on, and on in the quiet apartment. Chiyu is sure he can smell something familiar, but he can't quite pinpoint what is it. He picks up the phone despite still being in a little drowsy state, flips it open, and mumbles a messy mmyeah to whomever is calling.
"Did you sleep well?"
This time, it's not Hazuki. Chiyu frowns, and in a second he's awake. "Who is this?" The voice isn't familiar at all.
"Hazuki was busy so he told me to call instead. But never mind me. Did you manage to sleep?"
Chiyu is too tired to insist; thus, he answers the question. "No."
"Aww, man, that sucks." Chiyu still can't figure out who this could be. "Oh, if you want to meet Chisa again, just say the word. According to Hazuki's word, he'd been quite happy. Ten people, ten colors, as they say. And then, today's big question number one, are you ready?"
"No", says Chiyu, "but shoot." He doesn't understand, anyway.
"Did you learn anything last night? The lesson?"
The Osakan exhales via his nose and wants a cigarette, but he knows one would make him puke in this condition. "I don't understand what was the lesson - the letter? Was I supposed to think about my own actions?"
"Gold coins to a cat, I'd say... But I guess it's alright to stumble seven times but recover eight. Yes, you were supposed to put yourself into someone else's shoes."
"Takeru's", says Chiyu simply.
"Who's that?" asks the voice. Chiyu remains silent. The words have come like a lightning from the blue sky, completely unexpected. Is this person really just someone who's helping Hazuki out and doesn't know a thing about what's going on? But... Chiyu stops thinking as his head begins to hurt. "Well, rain hardens the ground, so I guess if that's the person who's putting you through this for some good reason afterwards you'll be like the newlyweds whose feet are to be bound together."
Chiyu frowns and tries to figure out what does this person mean. "Why all the idioms?" he asks.
"Anyway", continues the speaker, ignoring his question, "that's all for now. Bye! Don't be a stranger even though I don't know you!"
The line closes, and Chiyu sighs. He falls back into the lying position and lets the phone drop to the floor.
The dream comes to his mind the less he thinks about it. Are those the real reasons he's so concerned about this? Does Takeru really feel that way - not wanting to see him because Chiyu hurt him so bad? He didn't mean to, but Takeru doesn't want to hear it. Chiyu sighs.
He closes his eyes and falls asleep.
At midday he wakes up, catching that gentle scent in the air yet again. Every time he's about to figure what it smells like it disappears. It's a little like spices, yet not at all; spring grass, the smell that hangs in the air in central Osaka, maybe? No, rather like that of Tokyo, but what part of Tokyo, Chiyu isn't quite sure. If he'd caught this scent during his first year in Tokyo he probably could have told exactly.
Feeling a bit angry and bothered by the whole mess he's gotten himself into Chiyu goes to the kitchen. He's not hungry, but he makes himself some breakfast anyway, and eats slowly, unwillingly. He thinks about Masato. What's happened? Was it just awkwardness, or did Chiyu perhaps imagine the whole scene? Maybe he misheard Masato completely.
The Osakan gets up mid-bread and returns to the living room. He brushes off the debris on the living room table to pick up the photos spread around under the newspaper and beer cans. He takes them all with him to the kitchen, sits down, and finishes the glassful of juice while flipping through them. Just as vivid as the previous day, the pictures really take him back. The memories are alive, so alive he can smell the scents, taste the foods...
"What happened?" he asks quietly from the pictures. Masato smiles back at him, light brunette, and Takeru lies in the sand half asleep. "Why did things become this way?"
He gets up again, fetching a pen and a paper. A bit angry, frustrated, and confused, Chiyu returns to the kitchen and uncaps the marker. In the middle of the paper he writes in fine kana Takeru. A little aside from the blonde's name he writes Hazuki, connecting the names with a line. He adds Chisa and Mr Idiom to the map. So, each one of these people he's dealt with have to do with Hazuki, and certainly through Hazuki they're connected to Takeru.
Maybe instead of asking everyone whether they know Takeru he should find out more about Hazuki - and that way hear about the blonde boy.
The plan sounds good for someone who has hardly slept, and the more Chiyu thinks about it, the worse it sounds. How the hell would he even find out more about this guy, providing that he doesn't know more than their name? After a moment of thinking Chiyu fetches his phone, sits back in the chair, and finds the numbers of received calls.
The one he received in the morning is from an unknown number that's concealed from him, but the number of the earlier calls is visible. For a moment Chiyu feels his hopes are going up; then, he sits back and reminds himself about the fact that the number might be just a temporary one, or not even Hazuki's.
Still, he goes for it.
The line beeps, letting him know the phone is ringing somewhere else. It takes time. Chiyu looks out from the kitchen window. The day looks beautiful. The sun is casting its rays through the grey cloud of city fumes, dying the tall buildings and rooftops in lively colors.
The line opens with a crack in the middle of one of the beeps. It takes a little while before anyone speaks. "Mhmm?"
The voice is familiar: Chiyu taps the paper with the pen. "Hazuki", he says.
"Oh, you figured." A chuckle; there's speech on the background again, Hazuki remains silent. "What'd you have to say?"
Chiyu swallows. What did he call about, after all? "What more do I have to do?" he asks without thinking about it too much. "I mean... I've already broken my own morals, and--"
"I don't know", says Hazuki, cutting him mid-sentence. "I don't decide about it. Did you decide to go for it without thinking?"
"I thought about it. I... I need to see him, I really do. But I don't understand this. Don't you? What are you doing this for?""I have my reasons. Don't worry. You're thinking about it so much you'll eventually stall and won't be able to go anywhere. Take a painkiller and sleep the day."
Chiyu sighs. Maybe it's true. Maybe Hazuki has a point. Still, he can't help but feel this whole picture is so much bigger than what he's given to understand.
"Rest and forget about stuff for a while", Hazuki continues, his voice quite gentle, and Chiyu can hear he's smiling. "Call a friend, go for a beer, and we'll be in touch. Ok?"
The Osakan male nods a bit and then remembers the other can't see it, so he says, "Ok. Thanks, I guess."
"We're not enemies, you know", Hazuki says before the line closes.
The brunette sits in the kitchen for a long period of time before getting up and going to the bedroom. He closes the curtains, turns the light off, and throws himself in bed. It takes some time before he finds himself sleepy; but then, once the weariness sets in, he doesn't even notice as he's already asleep.
***
Hazuki stood outside the tall building, looking up towards the higher floors. The Yamanote line could be heard all the way here from the station; from here it would only take some few minutes to run to the station if he was going to leave. But he's not.
An email asked him to get here; although there was no name and he hadn't recognized the brunette had decided to come check out the address. He'd taken the bullet train from Yokohama as his free week had begun, arrived in Tokyo this morning, and after some general sitting around in cafes he'd come to Harajuku to find this address. As it was daytime and the hottest time of the year the streets were mostly littered with people, the station full, and cold drink vending machines were ripping people of their 100 yen coins faster than fast food chains.
Whatever the meaning of the email, Hazuki was here now, and as the result of the vague instructions he was left quite unsure of what to do.
About to get the door to enter the building he was surprised by the door opening right before his hand could touch the handle. He stepped back, a little baffled, to give way to the person exiting; but instead of just hurrying away the short male stopped. His hands here occupied by a few bags and a cardboard box taped shut, and as the black eyes turned to Hazuki the brunette realized he had met the boy before. But before he had even parted his lips to speak, the blonde had already said,
"Don't just stand staring. Take the box."
Unable to come up with an answer, Hazuki grabbed the box, letting the boy gain a better position carrying the bags. "Moving?"
"No. Getting rid of some useless crap."
Hazuki thought about speaking up, but instead remained silent and followed the shorter boy. They crossed the yard, snuck their way through an opening in the wooden fence, and finally stopped by a grand waste bin. The boy opened the lid with his elbow, tossing the bags in. Although it was hot he was clad in a parka that covered his figure, leaving a lot for guessing. Hazuki followed his example, dropping the box and its contents in. Photos slipped out of a bag when the box hit the thin plastic. The boy closed the lid, turned, and nodded a bit for Hazuki to follow.
"I need a favor", the blonde boy said quietly as they were crossing the yard again.
"What kind? I know I owe you from your help."
A chuckle. "Help... Mm." As they got to the door the boy pulled it open and went in; Hazuki caught the door mid-movement, slipping into the darkness of the corridor. They took the stairs, slowly forging on up the building. "I need you to find out some things. I'd do it myself, but I can't risk it, really."
"What kind of things?" Hazuki was tempted to ask more, but he figured it might be better to leave that for later. Maybe questions would answer themselves without being voiced, too.
"There's a couple of people I'd like you to... mm, not follow, really. But find out about. Phone numbers, addresses. What are they doing. Who are they seeing."
"Why?" The question left Hazuki's lips automatically.
The boy shrugged a little. "It's important. You have a holiday now, right?"
"Yes."
"When does your job end?"
"After this week, I still have three weeks of work."
"Are you coming to Tokyo then?"
"Why so?" Hazuki stopped. The boy continued climbing. The taller one frowned a little, then hurried to catch up.
No answer for a while. The boy finally turned the corner to a corridor, picked a key from his pocket, and opened one of the doors. It lead to a small apartment: a room with a single window, a couple of closets, a bathroom. No kitchen. Hazuki closed the door behind them and pushed off his boots.
"There's someone", mumbled Takeru finally as he sat down on the mattress on the floor. Hazuki remained standing. "Someone I need to meet, but not like this. It's a long story." He looked up at Hazuki with the blackest eyes. "I'm telling this only to you, ok? Because I want you to help me out."
"Why me?" asked Hazuki. A shrug, a moment of silence.
"I think just coming here shows you're ready to take some risks." No smile, but the tone had a hint of amusement to it. A small frown passed on Hazuki's face. So this was all a test, an interview, he realized. A way to see what kind of a man was he. "Will you?"
Hazuki thought. Minutes passed. Then, he brushed his hair back with one hand, sighing, giving the small boy a nod. "Fine. Tell me."
***
The day passes in silence, leisurely, as if the world had forgotten about him and no-one needed him. Chiyu sleeps, wakes up, sleeps again. Each waking minute he finds himself with that same sensation: the feeling that there's someone with him, but as he turns, the scent is gone, the air is back to normal, and the apartment is quiet. Rays of sun blind him whenever he turns to the window, and items cast light shadows on the table.
He finds his mind perfectly void of thoughts, and for a time being somewhere around four PM he wishes this would continue. It's a scary thought, but his mind isn't all that awake yet, and the alarm doesn't go off. What if he'd just stay here, like this; turn the phone off, cut himself off the world. Who would notice first? Shinpei, probably. His mother doesn't contact him all that often, after all, but the true grown ups like his parents and teachers would probably be the second group to find him missing.
Then the time he has blissfully forgotten for a moment returns, and Chiyu stares at the sofa cushions with a serious look on his face, thinking how Hazuki would notice, how whatever people involved with Hazuki whom Chiyu is supposed to suddenly get involved with would find out, and in the end--
He forbids himself from saying that name. Not now.
The scent returns for a split moment.
Chiyu gets up. It's past four, and he can't decide whether that's early or late, whether time has flied or crawled while he's gone on sleeping. He stretches each muscle on his body, standing on his toes, growling before roaming to the bedroom. Stopping at the doorway Chiyu looks around the room quietly. The scent.
What is it?
So familiar, yet so distant, hard to catch... It's almost as if someone had been here, here, in his home, his personal sanctuary where no-one can tell him what to do. (Except his phone, scentless pixels on the monitor. But he doesn't think about that now.) Nothing has switched places, nothing appears to have been touched, but still Chiyu feels as if someone had been here. Someone important. But who? He can't decide.
But if you move too fast you might miss some details.
No, I won't, Chiyu thinks to himself. The plan of calling Hazuki had failed and been quite an epic fail, too; Chiyu decides not to think of his defeat. Sure, his mind hadn't been functioning so well in the earlier hours, so he can't be blamed for bad ideas and not having been clever enough. Hazuki probably sleeps his nights brilliantly, without guilty consciousness over having slept with some minor with such creamy skin.
Oh, if you want to meet Chisa again, just say the word.
But the boy probably didn't know any more than what Chiyu already heard from him. He was told what to do, and he probably didn't ask questions. Questions must have been dangerous when you had a body to protect. Chiyu wonders if the boy gets beaten for mistakes, or if he's too precious to someone. He catches the sweet scent of the platinum blonde boy, turns, but sees no-one yet again. He must be imagining.
Stepping into the bedroom Chiyu goes ahead to look for some clean clothes. He switches, tosses the dirty ones into the laundry, and paces around the apartment without any purpose.
His mind is a mess, but Chiyu knows he needs to focus. He goes to the bedroom, makes way on the desk there, and gets a pen and a paper. He writes Takeru's name in the corner, Hazuki's below it, and then Chisa's name, not forgetting the guy who called him earlier. He includes Masato and himself, too. Hesitatingly, after a while, he includes Shinpei on the list.
Tapping the pen on the desk for a moment Chiyu writes down all the things he remembers hearing, starting from the first day. The things Hazuki has said, the things Chisa said, and the things the strange person on the phone said earlier. He writes down whatever meaningful Masato said. It's a messy compilation of quotes, but it's better than nothing. He doesn't want to miss a thing.
...just say the word.
"I need a plan", he mumbles to himself and stares at the paper. Calling Hazuki won't do. Hazuki will call him, and Chiyu can only accept that. He can't call Mr Idiom as he doesn't have the number. Takeru is out of question as well. That leaves only a few options, and Chiyu frowns to himself. It might be a long shot, but he's got to try it, right?
He'll meet Chisa again and he'll call Masato.
Neither might be able to provide him the proper answers, but at least it'll give him some direction. He needs to know what happened to Masato, and maybe Chisa can tell him more about Hazuki. He stares at Shinpei's name in silence.
Your life is boring, says the voice from his bad dream.
Chiyu leans back on the chair. "I just want some answers."
The gentle, yet bitter scent wraps itself around him for a moment and is gone the next second like the wind had blown out a candle.
phantosmia phan·tos·mia【fan-toz´me-ah】(n) a parosmia, olfactory hallucination, consisting of a sensation of smell in the absence of any external stimulus, aka a phenomenon of smelling odors that aren't really present.
·Ten people, ten colors (十人十色, juunin toiro) - to each according to their tastes.
·Gold coins to a cat (猫に小判, neko ni koban) - pearls to the swine. Giving something of a great value to someone who doesn't understand it and can't appreciate it.
·Stumbling seven times, recovering eight (七転び八起き, nanakorobi yaoki) - recovering from hardships as many times as destiny kicks one down.
·Rain hardens the ground (アメフって地固まる, ame futte ji katamaru) - conflict brings people closer to each other.
·The newlywed's feet are to be bound together by a red thread (赤縄を結ぶ, sekijou wo musubu) - the bethrothed are to tie the knot. The red thread represents the way the lovers' destinies are bound together in marriage.
Chapter: #3/#?
Author: rookie_cherii
Band/Pairing: Chiyu x Takeru (SuG)
Rating: PG
Warnings: none.
Summary: Chiyu has found a new path to follow and his life seems to be back on track. Then, an unexpected incident pulls him into the nights of Tokyo, and back to the blackest eyes of the boy he thought had forgotten about him.
Comments: It's been a while. I hope I'll be able to continue this, and some day bring it to a satisfying end. Please enjoy.
Disclaimer: Don't own.
As Chiyu stares at the letter he finds, once more, himself detached from reality. His surroundings have disappeared, time has stopped. Meaning and reason have abandoned him. He feels the aching in his chest, the pounding of his heart. He feels the paper in his hands, the cooling, drying sweat that has pulled his hair down a little. The room feels cool and his naked figure is freezing without him having quite realized it yet. The alcohol is still cruising in his veins, but it doesn't help anymore, doesn't leave him numb.
Is this a game of revenge?
A game of life and death?
Hazuki said it's not something that would kill him - but Chiyu isn't sure now as he reads the words on the letter again and again. Life; death, Live; die? He can imagine the quiet voice whisper the words, coo them darkly in his ear. The tiny hair inside the path to his hearing tickle under the imaginary breathes. Memory blends into another, and he can catch the scent of the boy who has left only a while ago. For a moment he almost thinks Chisa has come back, and this makes Chiyu snap out of the imaginary world. He finds himself alone, cold, in the dim room. The colorful lights from outside have painted the walls in green and pink. His skin looks sick in the light peeking from the world outside.
This room is no sanctuary for his mind.
Chiyu roams to his clothes and begins to get dressed. The crumbled, messy bedcovers smell of the sex; he might not have the nose of an animal or a wine taster, but Chiyu knows the scent of pheromone and sweat when he faces it. Here, the scent is almost unfamiliar; if he'd leave and return, he's sure he couldn't tell himself from it anymore. The memory rewinds in his head: smooth boyish curves, pale flat stomach, soft thighs against his sides. Quiet moans, nails scratching his back. Did the tiny boy really enjoy it, or has he learned to pretend so well that it's impossible to tell, anymore? What about Takeru, what about the black eyed boy's metal shields and walls that separate his world from the rest?
Inhaling deep Chiyu pulls on the T-shirt, puts the letter back into the envelope. He picks up his bag, puts his shoes on, and leaves the room as it is. He faces the maze of corridors, and after a while of roaming finally comes to the elevator. The hotel is quiet. In the elevator the same quiet music plays on, and in the lobby the jazz tunes continue as swingy as earlier. The woman at the reception bows to him without a word as Chiyu leaves.
The second his feet touch the pavement his phone comes to life, filling his bag with the simple ringtone. There was a time when Chiyu cared about the sounds his phone made, but somehow his interest towards such things died with age. Maybe it's a normal thing. Every day he meets more people whose phones are permanently on manner mode.
Fishing the ringing object from his bag Chiyu flips it open without further thought. "Yes?"
It's silent for a good while. Chiyu stays still, looking about. Does someone follow his every step, or is this mere coincidence?
"Did you have fun?" asks the voice finally.
"Hazuki?" Chiyu asks, recognizing the voice from the earlier call.
"Did you?"
"What was the point of that? Why did I have to see him? How do you know I left already?" Chiyu moves aside, turning his back to the hotel doors. Lively music plays closeby: boys, boys, boys......
"You ask too much. I'm not the one who you should be asking from."
The words make Chiyu's heart feel a small pang. He's aware of this, very much so. He wants to ask these things from the blonde, but at the same time he's fully aware of the fact that Hazuki probably will tell him to be patient or something as ridiculous if he'd ask to meet the boy.
He knows all he can do is accept this game set up for him.
"There's a club opening tonight. Did you know? It's in north Shinjuku. Lucky you, you're not too far away. No need to get your car."
"Why do you know I drove here?" asks Chiyu.
"It's obvious. You got to know about the rendezvous a bit over 8, and you had to be there by 9, so a person like you who wants to advance at this as fast as possible wouldn't bother taking a train from Roppongi to Shinjuku. But if you move too fast you might miss some details."
Miss something? "What have I missed?"
"That's not important. Anyway - the club. It's called NYX. You might find a familiar face if you go before midnight." And with this, he hangs up. Chiyu is once more left listening to the line beeping.
The old conversation echoes in his mind: ...but then again, doesn't everyone seem to, these days?
Chiyu shakes his head. He's having a hard time stopping asking questions and giving up again. He thinks about the sex and the little boy toy his hands held only a while ago. Only a little while ago he surrendered himself to the surrounding night and instinct, giving up on things like his beliefs and morals. His groin itches at the thought of this and Chiyu can't quite help admitting the fact that he really did enjoy the hour.
NYX. Chiyu focuses on this detail, shaking the other thoughts for a while. It's not proving easy. Questions party in his head. Why does he feel he needs to do this so bad? Why does he want to meet Takeru again so bad that he's putting his happy daily life into danger? What if this will get Shinpei involved?
NYX, NYX, NYX, NYX.
The less he thinks, the more suddenly the memory hits him: the advertisement handed to him earlier when he waited for Shinpei in Shibuya. The Osakan begins to rummage through his bag, finally finding the tiny flyer. Chiyu begins to follow the map on it.
What if Shinpei will get involved?
What then? Chiyu bites his lip as he goes. He'd have to explain throughoutly: that he decided to play this twisted game of hide and seek in order to possibly meet his ex boyfriend, who he thought forget about him, and who, by the way, seems pretty damn sadistic and messed up. Yeah, Chiyu wants to meet this guy again. And why?
He slows down a little.
Then, he shakes it away, and continues walking.
The club isn't fancy nor too big, but it has a very fine air. The music is loud - some domestic trance, Chiyu doesn't know what artist is it. A DJ is working on a pedestal, and people are dancing, some just hanging about the railing surrounding the dance floor. Lights flash about. Security guards stand by each side of the entrance and here and there inside. The club is in two floors; in the upped one Chiyu can spot a separate area where a few men clad in suits are smoking. He averts his eyes.
You might find a familiar face if you go before midnight.
It's not midnight yet, so Chiyu racks his brain: who did Hazuki mean? Brown eyes scout the room, various groups: girls, boys, friends, lovers, dancers, another mixed group. He doesn't recognize any of these people. The brunette turns for the bar. He makes his way amongst people, past tables, up a flight of three steps.
The bar is tended by more girls than boys. They're dressed in bikini, fur mufflers and pom pom earrings. Name tags are attached to their bikini tops. A girl by the name Nadeshiko takes his order, smiles and tries to chat with him, but another guy arrives to talk with her, and Chiyu leaves the bar as he notices the advertisement saying the drinks are free tonight.
Still searching, Chiyu slowly roams along the pathways between people. The music changes into something by a male artist and the DJ works the song to an unrecognizable condition. Chiyu takes small sips of the beer as he walks. He ignores the strange looks one gets when heading in a club like this alone without even making an attempt to chat anyone up.
Then, suddenly, as he's getting closer to what seems like a lounge area with large sofas forming a few round booths his eyes find the familiar face. He hurries to the booth-like area where the lamp hangs low above the round, drink-filled table casting its red light over the glasses and bottles. There are about ten people around the table, a few of them sitting in each others' laps. As Chiyu approaches they hardly notice anything until he's by the opening between the two pieces of furniture forming the round shape. "Masato!" the brunette breathes out, his hand on the back of the other sofa, the other holding the beer, chocolate eyes locked on the well-dressed boy across the table.
Masato's eyes show his surprise as he hurries up and past the people on the sofa. "Chiyu! What are you doing here?" He smiles a little, and Chiyu feels a little better, knowing he hasn't disturbed the other greatly.
Masato has changed a little since they saw each other the last time, and Chiyu notices this easily. His hair is a far darker shade, his cheekbones are a tad more visible. Wearing green contacts, it's hard to tell if his gentle gaze has also grown blacker. The figure slightly shorter than Chiyu's is clad in a white button-up with a black collar, a dark vest on top, black trousers hugging his legs. Simple but stylish, alive and well in front of Chiyu's eyes. He feels like he had already conquered something.
"I... I got an advertisement and decided to check it out", lies the Osakan. He can't tell Masato what he's involved in. "How are you? How have you been?"
"Come, sit down." Masato takes his hand, gently, friendly, and tugs Chiyu into the couch circle and past the table. They sit down, the others ignoring them, having gone on with their own conversations. Masato picks up a tall glass and takes a long sip of the red drink, pushing the lemon slice on the edge away from his nose. As he puts it down he exhales and turns to Chiyu. "I've been okay. Busy with school and life. What about you?"
Chiyu thinks for a while. "I've been fine... Mm, spending time with Shinpei and such. I visited home a few times."
"How's your family?"
"They're great."
Now, Chiyu feels a bit awkward. He knows Masato is expecting him to ask the usual question. He knows Masato can see he's on the edge of his nerves. He knows Masato is only waiting for Chiyu to say it aloud; he won't insist, he only waits. But at the same time something about Masato makes Chiyu uncomfortable in a way he has never been before. The now dark brunette male beside him has changed more than Chiyu thought. His smile is just as gentle, but there is a shadow hanging over him. Still, what a national custom it is to try to push such things aside, even if it cost one what could be a lovely meeting between friends after some long months.
Finally Chiyu pulls himself together. "How're studies going? Are you still hanging out with Mitsuru?"
Masato hums gently. "I think I'll be able to graduate early. Dad's offered me a trainee place in his company." He smiles and drinks more, eyes inspecting Chiyu. "As for Mitsuru, I sometimes get together with him." His tone suggests he doesn't finish the sentence, but he doesn't continue, either. Instead, he drinks, puts the glass aside, and crosses a leg over the other. "You? How is it with Shinpei?"
"He's so nice." Chiyu leans back against the sofa and turns to look at the people around. He doesn't recognize any of them, but assumes they're Masato's friends. "He's really understanding and worries about me all the while." He laughs. Masato smiles.
"That's a good thing... Well, as long as he doesn't stress himself." A nod. "Why didn't you invite him with you tonight?"
"Oh, I saw him earlier. I think he said something about being busy tonight." Chiyu shrugs. Masato doesn't speak for a while. Instead, they both drink in silence, and for a moment Masato encages in a short conversation with the red haired boy next to him. Chiyu is sure he hears Masato mention him; maybe it's a short introduction or something. Then, the brunette turns to the Osakan.
"You're a bad liar, Chiyu", Masato points out gently. This direct way of saying things is somewhat new, and Chiyu finds himself momentarily baffled. He blinks, lowers the beer, and looks at Masato. Although the type to want to solve other's problems and help people, Masato usually would have expressed himself less direct and more in a form of a pushing force that would cause one to find answers to their own problems, open up and speak about the issue at hand - or at least that was what the Masato Chiyu thinks he knew did. But rather, here they are, and Masato is looking at him in the eyes, serious, lips pressed into a thin line.
"Huh?" asks Chiyu.
Masato shakes his head and smiles. "Nothing. Are you doing something after this? Going somewhere?"
Chiyu, still confused, puts the beer on the edge of the table and mumbles, "Well, I think I should head home to catch some sleep..." Only as he says this he realizes he's quite tired after the day. The brunette gets up, nods a bit to Masato. "We should stay more in touch."
Masato smiles. "True. Call me sometime. Or I can call you when I'm not busy."
Chiyu nods and smiles a little in return. "Yeah. Well... See you."
He doesn't wait for polite phrases as he makes his way past knees and the table and away from the sofas. The party goes on, the night is full of life, but all Chiyu wants now is to get home. He catches the scent of the small blonde again, the same string of gentle scent as in the hotel room, and for a moment he's sure Chisa must have passed him by. Turning to look more as a reflex than out of his free will Chiyu peeks around; unable to see anyone familiar (unless he'd look to the lounge) he shakes his head and makes his way out to the street.
He turns the corner and makes his way back to the parking lot, failing to see the eyes that follow his every move.
***
It's five in the morning, and Chiyu hasn't slept. The tiredness has become a strange, lazy sensation in his system. It's rather a sense of extreme boredom than that of the need to sleep. He's sure that lying down wouldn't result in any sleep; his eyes hardly stay shut when he blinks, talk about trying to close them for longer periods of time. Besides, the fact that he's not really thinking about anything and just sitting on the sofa is close to a state of rest. He's not stressing his body - so doesn't it get the same amount of ease as it would if he'd sleep?
No, he knows it isn't the same thing, but at the same time he likes to think so. It's easier.
6 AM. 7 AM. 8 AM. He falls to the sofa, asleep. In half an hour he stirs, wakes up again, only to fall back asleep in a little while. This continues for hours. He feels sick. He falls asleep again around ten thirty.
In his dream Chiyu goes back to the other day, afternoon in Shibuya. Shinpei and himself are walking across the street and someone bumps into Shinpei. But instead of the frozen moment, the gap in time, he looses Shinpei into the crowd which is slowly turning into an ocean. He's alone in the masses of unknown faces, and amongst people he catches glimpses of Shinpei and the hooded boy who'd ran into Shinpei. Chiyu reaches out, sounds die, and he catches something... The boy turns, blonde hair peeks from under the parka hood.
And now he's in the hotel room, crying out the edgy name, but in his arms is the boy who gets paid for doing this; skinny, Chiyu can feel the shoulder blades with significant ease. Smooth thighs brush against his lower back, but the boy cries crystal tears, and no matter how hard he tries, Chiyu can't manage to ask if he's hurting or happy.
Then, he's in the club, and Masato sits on his lap legs spread, knees on the sofa on both sides of Chiyu's hips. The gentle smile breaks into a strange grin as the dark haired thin male says, "You're lying. Tell me the truth. Why are you looking for him? You're not happy with your life."
And Hazuki's hands press on his shoulders, the other brown haired male leaning to say into his ear, "Your life is boring. You wouldn't have taken this chance if you were happy. You would have ignored the emails to begin with. But instead, you're looking for--"
"Me", says a quiet whisper, and Chiyu tries to peek past Masato, catching glimpses of the long parka, the boy dancing to the beat of the music, but he can't see the face, their eyes won't meet.
"I'm looking for you", Chiyu whispers. "Why can't you just come to me?"
"Why would he return to a traitor?" asks Masato's voice.
"Why would he return to the one who broke him?" asks Hazuki.
"I didn't mean to! And I'm sorry! Let me tell that to him!" cries Chiyu.
"First", says the boy, "I want you to understand how deep you cut me."
And everything goes dark.
Chiyu wakes up into the sound of the phone. The ringing goes on, on, and on in the quiet apartment. Chiyu is sure he can smell something familiar, but he can't quite pinpoint what is it. He picks up the phone despite still being in a little drowsy state, flips it open, and mumbles a messy mmyeah to whomever is calling.
"Did you sleep well?"
This time, it's not Hazuki. Chiyu frowns, and in a second he's awake. "Who is this?" The voice isn't familiar at all.
"Hazuki was busy so he told me to call instead. But never mind me. Did you manage to sleep?"
Chiyu is too tired to insist; thus, he answers the question. "No."
"Aww, man, that sucks." Chiyu still can't figure out who this could be. "Oh, if you want to meet Chisa again, just say the word. According to Hazuki's word, he'd been quite happy. Ten people, ten colors, as they say. And then, today's big question number one, are you ready?"
"No", says Chiyu, "but shoot." He doesn't understand, anyway.
"Did you learn anything last night? The lesson?"
The Osakan exhales via his nose and wants a cigarette, but he knows one would make him puke in this condition. "I don't understand what was the lesson - the letter? Was I supposed to think about my own actions?"
"Gold coins to a cat, I'd say... But I guess it's alright to stumble seven times but recover eight. Yes, you were supposed to put yourself into someone else's shoes."
"Takeru's", says Chiyu simply.
"Who's that?" asks the voice. Chiyu remains silent. The words have come like a lightning from the blue sky, completely unexpected. Is this person really just someone who's helping Hazuki out and doesn't know a thing about what's going on? But... Chiyu stops thinking as his head begins to hurt. "Well, rain hardens the ground, so I guess if that's the person who's putting you through this for some good reason afterwards you'll be like the newlyweds whose feet are to be bound together."
Chiyu frowns and tries to figure out what does this person mean. "Why all the idioms?" he asks.
"Anyway", continues the speaker, ignoring his question, "that's all for now. Bye! Don't be a stranger even though I don't know you!"
The line closes, and Chiyu sighs. He falls back into the lying position and lets the phone drop to the floor.
The dream comes to his mind the less he thinks about it. Are those the real reasons he's so concerned about this? Does Takeru really feel that way - not wanting to see him because Chiyu hurt him so bad? He didn't mean to, but Takeru doesn't want to hear it. Chiyu sighs.
He closes his eyes and falls asleep.
At midday he wakes up, catching that gentle scent in the air yet again. Every time he's about to figure what it smells like it disappears. It's a little like spices, yet not at all; spring grass, the smell that hangs in the air in central Osaka, maybe? No, rather like that of Tokyo, but what part of Tokyo, Chiyu isn't quite sure. If he'd caught this scent during his first year in Tokyo he probably could have told exactly.
Feeling a bit angry and bothered by the whole mess he's gotten himself into Chiyu goes to the kitchen. He's not hungry, but he makes himself some breakfast anyway, and eats slowly, unwillingly. He thinks about Masato. What's happened? Was it just awkwardness, or did Chiyu perhaps imagine the whole scene? Maybe he misheard Masato completely.
The Osakan gets up mid-bread and returns to the living room. He brushes off the debris on the living room table to pick up the photos spread around under the newspaper and beer cans. He takes them all with him to the kitchen, sits down, and finishes the glassful of juice while flipping through them. Just as vivid as the previous day, the pictures really take him back. The memories are alive, so alive he can smell the scents, taste the foods...
"What happened?" he asks quietly from the pictures. Masato smiles back at him, light brunette, and Takeru lies in the sand half asleep. "Why did things become this way?"
He gets up again, fetching a pen and a paper. A bit angry, frustrated, and confused, Chiyu returns to the kitchen and uncaps the marker. In the middle of the paper he writes in fine kana Takeru. A little aside from the blonde's name he writes Hazuki, connecting the names with a line. He adds Chisa and Mr Idiom to the map. So, each one of these people he's dealt with have to do with Hazuki, and certainly through Hazuki they're connected to Takeru.
Maybe instead of asking everyone whether they know Takeru he should find out more about Hazuki - and that way hear about the blonde boy.
The plan sounds good for someone who has hardly slept, and the more Chiyu thinks about it, the worse it sounds. How the hell would he even find out more about this guy, providing that he doesn't know more than their name? After a moment of thinking Chiyu fetches his phone, sits back in the chair, and finds the numbers of received calls.
The one he received in the morning is from an unknown number that's concealed from him, but the number of the earlier calls is visible. For a moment Chiyu feels his hopes are going up; then, he sits back and reminds himself about the fact that the number might be just a temporary one, or not even Hazuki's.
Still, he goes for it.
The line beeps, letting him know the phone is ringing somewhere else. It takes time. Chiyu looks out from the kitchen window. The day looks beautiful. The sun is casting its rays through the grey cloud of city fumes, dying the tall buildings and rooftops in lively colors.
The line opens with a crack in the middle of one of the beeps. It takes a little while before anyone speaks. "Mhmm?"
The voice is familiar: Chiyu taps the paper with the pen. "Hazuki", he says.
"Oh, you figured." A chuckle; there's speech on the background again, Hazuki remains silent. "What'd you have to say?"
Chiyu swallows. What did he call about, after all? "What more do I have to do?" he asks without thinking about it too much. "I mean... I've already broken my own morals, and--"
"I don't know", says Hazuki, cutting him mid-sentence. "I don't decide about it. Did you decide to go for it without thinking?"
"I thought about it. I... I need to see him, I really do. But I don't understand this. Don't you? What are you doing this for?""I have my reasons. Don't worry. You're thinking about it so much you'll eventually stall and won't be able to go anywhere. Take a painkiller and sleep the day."
Chiyu sighs. Maybe it's true. Maybe Hazuki has a point. Still, he can't help but feel this whole picture is so much bigger than what he's given to understand.
"Rest and forget about stuff for a while", Hazuki continues, his voice quite gentle, and Chiyu can hear he's smiling. "Call a friend, go for a beer, and we'll be in touch. Ok?"
The Osakan male nods a bit and then remembers the other can't see it, so he says, "Ok. Thanks, I guess."
"We're not enemies, you know", Hazuki says before the line closes.
The brunette sits in the kitchen for a long period of time before getting up and going to the bedroom. He closes the curtains, turns the light off, and throws himself in bed. It takes some time before he finds himself sleepy; but then, once the weariness sets in, he doesn't even notice as he's already asleep.
***
Hazuki stood outside the tall building, looking up towards the higher floors. The Yamanote line could be heard all the way here from the station; from here it would only take some few minutes to run to the station if he was going to leave. But he's not.
An email asked him to get here; although there was no name and he hadn't recognized the brunette had decided to come check out the address. He'd taken the bullet train from Yokohama as his free week had begun, arrived in Tokyo this morning, and after some general sitting around in cafes he'd come to Harajuku to find this address. As it was daytime and the hottest time of the year the streets were mostly littered with people, the station full, and cold drink vending machines were ripping people of their 100 yen coins faster than fast food chains.
Whatever the meaning of the email, Hazuki was here now, and as the result of the vague instructions he was left quite unsure of what to do.
About to get the door to enter the building he was surprised by the door opening right before his hand could touch the handle. He stepped back, a little baffled, to give way to the person exiting; but instead of just hurrying away the short male stopped. His hands here occupied by a few bags and a cardboard box taped shut, and as the black eyes turned to Hazuki the brunette realized he had met the boy before. But before he had even parted his lips to speak, the blonde had already said,
"Don't just stand staring. Take the box."
Unable to come up with an answer, Hazuki grabbed the box, letting the boy gain a better position carrying the bags. "Moving?"
"No. Getting rid of some useless crap."
Hazuki thought about speaking up, but instead remained silent and followed the shorter boy. They crossed the yard, snuck their way through an opening in the wooden fence, and finally stopped by a grand waste bin. The boy opened the lid with his elbow, tossing the bags in. Although it was hot he was clad in a parka that covered his figure, leaving a lot for guessing. Hazuki followed his example, dropping the box and its contents in. Photos slipped out of a bag when the box hit the thin plastic. The boy closed the lid, turned, and nodded a bit for Hazuki to follow.
"I need a favor", the blonde boy said quietly as they were crossing the yard again.
"What kind? I know I owe you from your help."
A chuckle. "Help... Mm." As they got to the door the boy pulled it open and went in; Hazuki caught the door mid-movement, slipping into the darkness of the corridor. They took the stairs, slowly forging on up the building. "I need you to find out some things. I'd do it myself, but I can't risk it, really."
"What kind of things?" Hazuki was tempted to ask more, but he figured it might be better to leave that for later. Maybe questions would answer themselves without being voiced, too.
"There's a couple of people I'd like you to... mm, not follow, really. But find out about. Phone numbers, addresses. What are they doing. Who are they seeing."
"Why?" The question left Hazuki's lips automatically.
The boy shrugged a little. "It's important. You have a holiday now, right?"
"Yes."
"When does your job end?"
"After this week, I still have three weeks of work."
"Are you coming to Tokyo then?"
"Why so?" Hazuki stopped. The boy continued climbing. The taller one frowned a little, then hurried to catch up.
No answer for a while. The boy finally turned the corner to a corridor, picked a key from his pocket, and opened one of the doors. It lead to a small apartment: a room with a single window, a couple of closets, a bathroom. No kitchen. Hazuki closed the door behind them and pushed off his boots.
"There's someone", mumbled Takeru finally as he sat down on the mattress on the floor. Hazuki remained standing. "Someone I need to meet, but not like this. It's a long story." He looked up at Hazuki with the blackest eyes. "I'm telling this only to you, ok? Because I want you to help me out."
"Why me?" asked Hazuki. A shrug, a moment of silence.
"I think just coming here shows you're ready to take some risks." No smile, but the tone had a hint of amusement to it. A small frown passed on Hazuki's face. So this was all a test, an interview, he realized. A way to see what kind of a man was he. "Will you?"
Hazuki thought. Minutes passed. Then, he brushed his hair back with one hand, sighing, giving the small boy a nod. "Fine. Tell me."
***
The day passes in silence, leisurely, as if the world had forgotten about him and no-one needed him. Chiyu sleeps, wakes up, sleeps again. Each waking minute he finds himself with that same sensation: the feeling that there's someone with him, but as he turns, the scent is gone, the air is back to normal, and the apartment is quiet. Rays of sun blind him whenever he turns to the window, and items cast light shadows on the table.
He finds his mind perfectly void of thoughts, and for a time being somewhere around four PM he wishes this would continue. It's a scary thought, but his mind isn't all that awake yet, and the alarm doesn't go off. What if he'd just stay here, like this; turn the phone off, cut himself off the world. Who would notice first? Shinpei, probably. His mother doesn't contact him all that often, after all, but the true grown ups like his parents and teachers would probably be the second group to find him missing.
Then the time he has blissfully forgotten for a moment returns, and Chiyu stares at the sofa cushions with a serious look on his face, thinking how Hazuki would notice, how whatever people involved with Hazuki whom Chiyu is supposed to suddenly get involved with would find out, and in the end--
He forbids himself from saying that name. Not now.
The scent returns for a split moment.
Chiyu gets up. It's past four, and he can't decide whether that's early or late, whether time has flied or crawled while he's gone on sleeping. He stretches each muscle on his body, standing on his toes, growling before roaming to the bedroom. Stopping at the doorway Chiyu looks around the room quietly. The scent.
What is it?
So familiar, yet so distant, hard to catch... It's almost as if someone had been here, here, in his home, his personal sanctuary where no-one can tell him what to do. (Except his phone, scentless pixels on the monitor. But he doesn't think about that now.) Nothing has switched places, nothing appears to have been touched, but still Chiyu feels as if someone had been here. Someone important. But who? He can't decide.
But if you move too fast you might miss some details.
No, I won't, Chiyu thinks to himself. The plan of calling Hazuki had failed and been quite an epic fail, too; Chiyu decides not to think of his defeat. Sure, his mind hadn't been functioning so well in the earlier hours, so he can't be blamed for bad ideas and not having been clever enough. Hazuki probably sleeps his nights brilliantly, without guilty consciousness over having slept with some minor with such creamy skin.
Oh, if you want to meet Chisa again, just say the word.
But the boy probably didn't know any more than what Chiyu already heard from him. He was told what to do, and he probably didn't ask questions. Questions must have been dangerous when you had a body to protect. Chiyu wonders if the boy gets beaten for mistakes, or if he's too precious to someone. He catches the sweet scent of the platinum blonde boy, turns, but sees no-one yet again. He must be imagining.
Stepping into the bedroom Chiyu goes ahead to look for some clean clothes. He switches, tosses the dirty ones into the laundry, and paces around the apartment without any purpose.
His mind is a mess, but Chiyu knows he needs to focus. He goes to the bedroom, makes way on the desk there, and gets a pen and a paper. He writes Takeru's name in the corner, Hazuki's below it, and then Chisa's name, not forgetting the guy who called him earlier. He includes Masato and himself, too. Hesitatingly, after a while, he includes Shinpei on the list.
Tapping the pen on the desk for a moment Chiyu writes down all the things he remembers hearing, starting from the first day. The things Hazuki has said, the things Chisa said, and the things the strange person on the phone said earlier. He writes down whatever meaningful Masato said. It's a messy compilation of quotes, but it's better than nothing. He doesn't want to miss a thing.
...just say the word.
"I need a plan", he mumbles to himself and stares at the paper. Calling Hazuki won't do. Hazuki will call him, and Chiyu can only accept that. He can't call Mr Idiom as he doesn't have the number. Takeru is out of question as well. That leaves only a few options, and Chiyu frowns to himself. It might be a long shot, but he's got to try it, right?
He'll meet Chisa again and he'll call Masato.
Neither might be able to provide him the proper answers, but at least it'll give him some direction. He needs to know what happened to Masato, and maybe Chisa can tell him more about Hazuki. He stares at Shinpei's name in silence.
Your life is boring, says the voice from his bad dream.
Chiyu leans back on the chair. "I just want some answers."
The gentle, yet bitter scent wraps itself around him for a moment and is gone the next second like the wind had blown out a candle.
phantosmia phan·tos·mia【fan-toz´me-ah】(n) a parosmia, olfactory hallucination, consisting of a sensation of smell in the absence of any external stimulus, aka a phenomenon of smelling odors that aren't really present.
·Ten people, ten colors (十人十色, juunin toiro) - to each according to their tastes.
·Gold coins to a cat (猫に小判, neko ni koban) - pearls to the swine. Giving something of a great value to someone who doesn't understand it and can't appreciate it.
·Stumbling seven times, recovering eight (七転び八起き, nanakorobi yaoki) - recovering from hardships as many times as destiny kicks one down.
·Rain hardens the ground (アメフって地固まる, ame futte ji katamaru) - conflict brings people closer to each other.
·The newlywed's feet are to be bound together by a red thread (赤縄を結ぶ, sekijou wo musubu) - the bethrothed are to tie the knot. The red thread represents the way the lovers' destinies are bound together in marriage.