Mimetic Word chapter 11: "Flight of a Butterfly"
Title: Mimetic Word: "Flight of a Butterfly"
Chapter: #11/#?
Author:
rookie_cherii
Band/Pairing: Chiyu x Takeru (SuG)
Rating: R
Warnings: violence, language
Summary: After Takeru's beginning to recover from the car accident Chiyu realizes what it truly means to fix the little black-eyed boy - and what it takes to get him free from the cage surrounding him first.
Comments: Lol I think this story is starting to repeat itself on some level? Possibly? Oh well. I like it. :/
Disclaimer: Don't own.
"I think this'll be fine for you", Koki nodded. "It's not one my favorites so it doesn't matter if I don't get it back."
"Mm, thanks."
Takeru unfolded the shirt. It wasn't too off the style he preferred, himself. Koki rummaged through his things for a oversized black woolen cap, offered it to the other, and then nodded. "That'll do. If I give you any more of mine, I'll have to start pestering you about returning them."
"Sorry to be getting you in trouble." Not that he'd really felt sorry. It was his own salvation.
"Mm-m." The stress seemed to be getting to the other blonde. For the whole day, he had been quiet, and Takeru assumed it wasn't that normal for him.
"Thanks."
Yuuri watched them from the door, humming to himself. Takeru peeked over his shoulder, raising a brow at the other. "What?"
"Weak, meat; strong, eat." The red haired one pushed his glasses on better. "I have to say I kind of envy how you're so ready to leap at the lion."
Takeru shrugged a shoulder. "I figured it's important that I do."
The tall one smiled. "Maybe in the future of this place we'll tell a story of a heroic boy who--"
"How do you understand what's he mean?" Koki asked, making Takeru turn back at him.
"Reading helps."
The blonde turned to walk to the door. "So, at midday by the office?"
"Yeah", said the other blonde. "He'll pick you up from there. Try to be cheerful."
"Aren't I?" Takeru grimaced.
He slipped into the corridor, Yuuri following his steps. "Someone should teach him not to let his daughter-in-law eat his autumn eggplants."
"He wants everyone to like him." Takeru shrugged.
"While you're dirty."
"I think it's more important to think the worst of people and not let them hurt you than think luck exists in the leftovers."
"I'll miss you~", Yuuri said in a sing-song tone.
"You won't remember my being here in a few days", commented the other in a matter-of-fact tone. Yuuri grimaced and spun a lock of hair around his finger.
"True, but it doesn't mean I didn't feel sad because something's missing."
Takeru shrugged and didn't answer.
It was half past eleven when he opened the door to his room, looking around at his few possessions and the bag on the floor. "I can't take much, right."
Yuuri leaned against the doorway. "I'd avoid too much weight."
"Mm."
The boy made a quick re-arragement in the room, then stuffed his favorite shirt and the pink shoes into the bag, along with the book that had been there which he hadn't touched since coming here. Everything else wasn't really valuable.
For a moment he stood still, then, until adding a parka amongst the things, then choosing a pair of jeans that reminded Koki's, changed into them and the shirt, pulling the cap on.
Putting his hands into the jean pockets Takeru stood still for a while. There was something missing, he knew it.
"I'd mistake you for him", said Yuuri.
"Good", said Takeru, but off-topicly. Then he picked up the old jeans, and put his hands into the pockets, pulling out the green omamori.
It felt warm in his hand. Just like the gentle embrace of the brunette's arms. Just like the soft words. Like the caring and love.
He put it into the bag, and picked it up. "Guess this'll be it." It was fifteen to midday.
Yuuri mock-saluted. "I'll make sure Hasune'll remind me about you, you know."
"No need to. Once I'm out of that door, I'm gone with the wind. There's nothing for me here after that."
No, everything he had was out there.
They left the room. Yuuri stopped after Takeru had pulled the door shut.
"I guess I understand your need to go out there", he said suddenly. Takeru raised a brow, turning to look at the red haired male. "I sometimes had a reason to not be here. But in the end it's better for me here than out there."
"What do you mean?"
"Every time I forget, there's one thing that comes back to me immediately", Yuuri spoke, and they slowly strode down the corridor. "It's a Ferris wheel. Another thing I can't forget is a face - I don't know whose, but it comes back to me every time. A boy. I guess I knew him. The Ferris wheel, this boy, but I can't remember anything else."
"Ferris wheel?" Takeru raised a brow. "Like in Cosmoworld."
"What's that?"
Takeru rolled his eyes. "You got to be kidding me. Everybody knows Cosmoworld and the Cosmo Clock."
"Not knowing is Buddha."
"Hm." Takeru nodded a little. "Well, I'm happy if you think you understand." Not that it would really have held any significance to him. But maybe on some level it made him feel less troubled about this situation.
They stopped a bit before the corridor to the office. Takeru sighed. "Well."
"Remember, cheerful." Yuuri grinned. "Like this."
The blonde boy looked at him for a moment, then pulled a grin, falling serious again. "Mm. Was nice knowing you and all that."
"I feel like a kite breeding a hawk, here." Yuuri laughed. Takeru said nothing. He stepped back, turned, and didn't lay eyes on the red haired boy again.
The nurse stood by the counter, and upon approaching the tiny boy put up a happy smile, feeling like vomiting at himself.
"Are you ready?" the man asked.
"Mm-hmm!"
"You know it's unusual for the head nurse to decide that after what you did you'd still get to go to town", he continued while opening the door to the office and leading the boy through it to the door leading out of the secure ward. Takeru felt a little tense. If this didn't succeed, he could just as well repeat the pencil incident.
"I promise to be good", he said, pouting a little. "Look, look at my cute face."
The man chuckled, and led the way past open doors to normal hospital rooms and offices with glass windows. Sunshine dyed the floors and walls. They walked along the corridors, and finally came to the doors to the outside world.
The end of the world forgotten behind everything came to its beginning point, and the nurse pushed open the doors, letting the boy walk into the bright sunlight, following him out.
"Come, I'll be driving you today. The taxi company was busy."
"Okay." He sticked to walking half a step after the nurse. The sunlight hurt his eyes a little, and thus he shaded his face from it with his hand, looking at the trees and hills and the city that spread against the horizon in the distance. Although he wasn't completely free yet, did freedom really taste this good even in small amounts?
The nurse opened the door of a creamy BMW, and Takeru slid in, holding the bag in his lap. He peeked outside pretending to be curious as the man slid to the driver's seat and started the car. "Where do you want to go?"
"The center. I'm dying to get some ice cream."
"Okay."
The car slid from the parking slot, through the yard and on to the asphalt road. It joined the highway soon, and Takeru wondered where exactly was the hospital located from the town's point of view. Road numbers said nothing to him without a map.
The drive didn't take that long as they easily moved among the other cars on the road. It was fairly quiet at this time. Takeru hummed to the music on the radio and felt icky for pretending to be so active. His head hurt and the car sounded bad to his ears, but he had to do this. It was too late to give up now. His heart was pulling him so hard it felt like it'd come off his chest soon.
"Nervous?"
"A bit", he said and tried to smile. "It's been a while."
"There's nothing to be nervous about." The nurse smiled kindly. The boy nodded, saying,
"Mm-hmm, I'm just excited I guess."
The first tall houses grew out of nowhere around the highway as they sped forwards. They didn't speak much as they listened to the radio; it was good, since the boy had enough to do trying to keep up this facade.
Finally the nurse drove off the highway, cruising down the lane to the city streets. Takeru felt his heart leap. Although he'd been to Yokohama before, it had never looked so good. The sun shone down upon it.
"So, where do you want to go now?"
"Ice cream. And then..." The boy thought about it for a while. A thought passed his mind then. "I want to go to Cosmoworld."
***
There were people everywhere. The nurse sticked with him, staying closeby, and Takeru didn't mind for now. He led the way through the people, toward the grand Ferris wheel standing in the middle of it all.
There was a queue outside going to the building, but he passed it, stopping by the information booth outside. The nurse stood a meter or so away from him, looking confused and curious, but didn't say anything. A brown-haired boy gazed up toward the wheel that turned leisurely and the clock that showed one fifteen pm.
"Excuse me", the blonde said, black eyes turning from a family to the boy working here.
The brunette spun around. His hair was cut unevenly, but not badly at all, and his eyes were just as black as the boy's, narrow and buttony. "Yes? How can I help you?"
"How long have you worked here?"
"A few summers", answered the other slowly, looking confused. A frown passed his face. "Why do you ask?"
"Sorry to bother you with something like this." He felt awkward. This was but a hunch he had, some vague idea, but he had to try it out. Not only that, but speaking with someone completely strange to him all of a sudden... "Do you know anyone by the name Yuuri?"
The other raised a brow. "Err." He put his hands on the counter, looking at the short blonde closely. "I'd still like to know why do you come here asking stuff like that."
"It's important, so I'm asking. Do you know someone like that?"
"I'm not sure, I'm not good with names."
"A guy who forgets stuff every day? Talks funny and has red hair?"
The brunette didn't speak for a while. Then, he nodded slowly. "Yeah. Who're you?"
"That doesn't matter, really. I met him and talked with him, and he said he remembers a Ferris wheel and some guy, but nothing else. If you know him, I'd say he means you. It's complicated."
Someone came to ask the brunette something, another staff member; he apologized to the boy, talking with his co-worker for a moment briefly. "Can we talk about this later?" he asked Takeru then.
The blonde shook his head; then, he nodded towards the notebook and pencils on the counter. "I'll give you my email."
Why'd he feel this was so important, he didn't know. Why'd he feel the need to find out this kind of stuff completely unrelated to himself, he had no idea. But nevertheless, Takeru scribbled his number on the paper. "What's your name, so I'll know later?"
"...Hazuki."
"Okay." He backed up and nodded a bit. "Mail me."
Not letting the brunette say anything more he turned and flashed a smile to the nurse. "An old friend", he explained cheerfully as he marched past the slightly confused male. "I want cotton candy."
The nurse nodded, walking by his side. When a mass of people came in their way, the blonde boy slipped to the side, and before the man had noticed it ran through the tourist group.
Freedom.
***
"So what are you going to do?" asked Yuji and looked at Chiyu.
The Osakan male shrugged a little. "I don't know. I know it'll hurt if I'll just up and forget about him. I can't get him out of my mind, but at the same time I don't want to think about him any more."
"You're really, really weird", commented the other. Chiyu shrugged a little.
"I've slept with a ton of girls since hearing about what happened between him and Masato."
"It's a signal of pain, man."
"I know. I am in pain."
"You haven't thought about seeing him? Asking him? Not that I'd really know that much, but I can say talking things through ought to do the trick." Yuji groaned then, setting the game controller down. "Damn that thing. Come on, help me out."
Chiyu picked up the controller, beginning the level again, the ninja boy nimbly moving on the game screen, but the witch beat him anyway. Yuji frowned. "You're not even trying."
"Sorry." Chiyu sighed and leaned back against the bed. They were sitting on the floor of Yuji's room. It was a simple room in a simple house in the simple suburb. Nothing special. The other boy's family was average, came by, but anything that could be considered luxury wasn't really there. Still, Chiyu liked it here. It was so normal.
"You need to talk to him. Or Masato. You know, maybe it's not as bad as it looks like."
Chiyu made an uncomfortable face. "But he won't remember. So what does it matter?"
"Martyr. You should try again. And visit Osaka, you know, I can see all this Tokyo air's really unhealthy for you."
"Maybe you're right."
"I know I'm right. Argh, fucking...!" Again putting the controller down, Yuji reached for his can of beer. "If you so think you have to get over him, let's go out tonight. I'll accompany you and we'll both hook up with some magnificent ladies."
"I don't know. I'm a bit tired of it all..."
"Come on. If you don't want to get laid, then at least come see me nail it and get some girl."
Chiyu chuckled. "Fine. Any place in mind?"
"Know how that Chocolate changed names into OZ? They got a new owner and the place was changed a bit, not much but a little."
"Chocolate? I know that place." Yes, he knew it. He remembered the blonde boy and how he'd danced.
"Why the gloomy face?"
"I went there with him once."
"Oh, gods. You're like mom when dad left her. Get up, get going, if you so want to get over it then stop looking at those fucked up details."
"Your parents divorced?"
"Mm. I was a teen so it wasn't that bad, I knew what it meant. I see dad sometimes. He got a new woman, and left mom for her. I couldn't really be angry at him, but I was always angry at the other woman."
"It's the first time I've heard you talk about it."
"I know." Yuji grinned brightly. "See, you're not the only one with issues."
"I know I'm not. ...I'm sorry about your parents."
"Ah, it's past already. I'm grown up and I get what it's like. Even back then I didn't let it affect things."
Chiyu nodded a little, then checked the time. It was daytime. He wished the clock would have moved on faster. Every day felt so difficult and painful. "I'll go visit my place", he said, getting up on his feet. "Got to shower and all that. I can't possibly get laid if I look like someone had beaten the crap out of me."
Yuji laughed. "That's the attitude. Gimme a call when you're ready and I'll stop trying to beat up this shitty boss."
With a chuckle, Chiyu left the room and leisurely descended the stairs. There was the sound of television coming from the living room as he put his shoes on and grabbed his jacket, making sure the door locked after himself. The street was in a shadow and thus his car was remotely cool when he slid in. For a good while Chiyu sat there, hands on his lap, thinking about nothing in practical. Then he picked the key from the jacket pocket and started the car.
***
"Takeru!" the woman tried to hold on to the boy's arm. "You can't just go like this!"
"I hate you! I hate you all! You, and that son-of-a-bitch, and everything about this place!" He pulled his arm free, running down the stairs. His brother pressed his back against the entrance hall wall to stay out of the way.
"You can't just leave! Where are you going? You'll die out there!"
"Like I'd be alive here!"
"What the hell is going on?" The powerful man a little taller than the boy ran from the garden through the living room. "What are you doing, idiot?"
"I'm not going to stick to this place any longer!" Takeru pulled on a pair of sneakers without much trouble. "Fuck you, fuck your lives, fuck this house and fuck everything!"
"You're just sick!" the mother cried. "Don't go, it'll be bad for you!"
"And with that fuckhead beating me up it'll be good? You're no saint either!" He pulled the hoodie sleeves up to show all the recent bruises. "Dragging me about, screaming in my ear - a perfect marriage of a devil and a whore!"
"Don't you go calling your mother that!" The man reached to grab his hair and pull the boy on the floor, hitting his face.
"Stop it!" the woman screamed. "Don't!"
"Let me go! Let me go, asshole!" He scratched the arm holding him down.
"This is your home and we're your parents, and you do what we say!"
"I'll rather kill myself!"
"Then you should just die!"
"Yeah! Finally you see my point! Kill me! Hit me until I won't move anymore! Let me have it my way!" The boy wiggled a little, his breathes sharp and difficult. "Choke me! Tear me apart! Stab me and throw me away! You've already done it all!"
He hit the boy again, this time hard on the side. Takeru screamed. The sound covered the cracking sound of a bone.
"Stop it!" she shouted. "You'll kill him!"
"Do it!" the boy yelled.
The man picked him up, kicked him, and threw him against the front door with ease. Takeru collapsed on his knees on the floor, holding his side. "Then go!"
The black eyes turned to the man and the woman whose hands were holding his arm now. He picked up a pair of scissors from the table by the shoe stand, flung them open, and pulled a long, red wound over the scars on his arm. Blood dripped on the mat. "There, I'll bleed the past out right here!"
"Go to hell, bastard lunatic brat!" the man took a step closer, but the boy didn't move. He wasn't afraid. How much easier would things be if the man would now put his hand over his head and turn until his spine would crack! That would conclude things, that would make everything better.
He climbed to his feet, weak from the punches and kicks, but burning with anger that kept him standing. "I'll never come here unless it's to burn this place down", he hissed from between his lips, throwing the bloody scissors on the floor, and then opened the front door, marching out to the fresh air that smelled like shit from his point of view. The woman cried after him, and the man yelled.
His brother ran after him. "You can't go bleeding like that, Takeru."
"Fuck you, too."
"Do you even have any money?"
"No, but what's that to you? Wouldn't it be better without me?"
Takeo remained silent for a moment before saying, "I'll lend you the money so you'll get to Tokyo, okay? There you can figure what to do. At least let me do that."
The boy glanced over at him, didn't speak. He held his hand over the wound on his arm.
"And let me tie that. Please." The older boy bit his lip. Takeru still said nothing. Finally, he hmph'ed, and mumbled,
"Whatever. Pay the train if you want to. Like it'd help me anyhow on a long run."
***
"We will shortly arrive to Tokyo Station. JR thanks you for taking the Keihin-Touhoku Line, and we hope you have enjoyed your ride. All passengers..."
The blonde chewed on a Hi-Chew piece in silence, waiting for other passengers to have gotten up and ready to go when the train stopped. Only when most of the people were by the exits did he get up and pick up his bag, follow the mass to the station.
How long had it really been since the last time here? He knew the place well, following the people from the platform to the station corridors, going for the Yamanote line platforms. Masses of people boarded the train, not leaving space for sitting down, but that didn't really bother the boy as he stood close to the doors. "Next stop, Yurakucho..."
It took time before he'd arrived to Harajuku, the doors sliding open with a hiss. After the empty white corridors this all seemed a little overwhelming. The tiny boy had to sit down at the station to breathe in the Yoyogi air. Once back on his feet again he traveled downstairs with the other people, stopped to buy a bottle of cola from the vending machine outside, and set by foot towards the apartment buildings to the left.
It took a while for him to find the key to the tiny room-of-an-apartment. There was no-one waiting for him outside, which was a good thing; the last time he'd come here his mother had been standing by the door, and after that... He frowned upon pulling the door open. Stupid memories.
Leaving his shoes to the almost inexistent entrance hall he shut the door and dropped the bag on the floor. What did he do here, Takeru didn't really know; maybe it was a change of clothes he was after or something. Rest he could not, that he knew: this place was just as much of a small nightmare as that hospital. At least the walls and ceiling were familiar; they remained silent as he entered and blobbed himself down on the mattress in one corner.
"Welcome home", said the boy in the mirror.
"Yo", he answered.
"Took some time off this place?"
"Something like that."
Takeru got up again then, and went to the other closet; here, he pulled out a shirt and baggy black trousers with white print all over them, and a pair of clean boxers, too; picking up the towel from the floor he went to the small cramped bathroom with virtually no space for anything.
After a quick shower - he didn't want to linger and start thinking - the boy put on the clean clothes and emptied the bag. For a moment he wondered where was the cell phone; then he remembered he'd never gotten it back in the hospital. With a shrug he put his wallet and such everyday items to the bag, hung it over his shoulder, and left again.
On his way through the ward he bought a new phone. Cheap, but not bad.
Then he sat down on a bench by Laforet, watching people pass by, no-one paying any attention to him.
Where to go, what to do?
It was afternoon, now, the streets busy.
I have to see him, he thought to himself; I have to contact him. But he didn't have Chiyu's number in the new cell. Of course he could have called Masato - but Takeru didn't feel like answering the other's questions about how'd he get out of the hospital and listen to the worry. No, he wanted Chiyu.
Getting on his feet again the boy took a turn at the crossroads and made his way to the station, buying a new ticket on Yamanote to Ebisu; from there he switched to Hibiya line and rode to Roppongi.
A few clouds roamed on the sky above the tall buildings as he roamed the streets from the station on. Takeru didn't remember the exact address; but he knew how the surroundings looked like, and thus it didn't exactly prove impossible for him to find the building and the playground in the front of it. He looked for Chiyu's car outside, not finding it. Even so, the short blonde made his way to the front door; it was open, kept from sliding shut with a rock.
The stairway was quiet as he waited for the elevator. There were no sounds other than the quiet hissing the lift left upon stopping. The music was just as annoying as ever; the boy tapped his foot on the floor, wishing it'd stop.
Stepping out he went to the door. It was familiar, the name on it familiar, everything about it almost welcoming. The slender fingers rang the doorbell.
There was no answer.
After a long time of waiting he figured Chiyu probably wasn't home. He could wait, of course; and wait, he did, sitting on the floor by the door.
After an hour and a half the boy came to the conclusion Chiyu wasn't coming home for a while. It was now past four. Maybe he'd call Masato later, ask for Chiyu's number. Climbing to his feet Takeru brushed dust off the pants, swung the bag back around his shoulder, and rode the elevator down. Outside the building he thought for a while: home he wasn't going to return (if that tiny apartment was home, to begin with), and he didn't have friends to call other than Masato. After a while of consideration the boy decided to take a little time off, sit down somewhere, have a drink, maybe, and then re-think of his plans.
His heart ached a little for seeing Chiyu immediately hadn't worked out.
"You'll see him", he mumbled to the life muscle. "You can hang in there."
***
Chiyu leaned back on the smooth seat as Yuji set the two beers on the table. The music was playing, but not too loud where they were sitting at. They had a good view to the dance floor, but it was a little further from here, as they sat closer to the bar. One of the bartenders waved a bit to them every time their gazes would meet.
"She's hot, man", Yuji grinned.
"Then ask her out."
"Wow, wow, she's working. I don't bother girls when they work."
The brunette chuckled. "Fine, fine." He sipped the cool beer, watching at the dancing people. It was difficult not to think about how he'd come here with the tiny blonde, no matter how hard he tried to think about other things. Yuji could see this, but didn't say anything. From his point of view, it was good enough that Chiyu had agreed to join him here to begin with.
"Look at that", Yuji nodded towards another table. Two girls were giggling together, the other looking mature, the other dressed a little childishly to look cute. "I like them."
"You're as if you were hunting."
"Yeah, for you."
Chiyu rolled his eyes. "I don't like that type. They have to be intelligent."
"Then that one over there. Or that one. Oh, those two, I bet they're sisters." Yuji was fast to get up. "I'll go talk to them."
About to stop, Chiyu decided against it, only sighing and chuckling a little. Fine. Yuji so wanted to cheer him up; he'd let the other do it. Maybe it'd even work. Maybe he'd find some company to help him forget.
Otherwise, maybe he'd have to get into a car crash himself.
He watched Yuji talk to the girls, and lifted his hand into a wave when they looked; both smiled sweetly, nodding to Yuji's words and laughed at the same time. Clones of each other, almost, thought the Osakan male. These Tokyo girls had always been so strange from his point of view.
Yuji returned with the girls. "Ladies, this is Chiyu. He needs a little cheering up. Chiyu, Saeko-chan and Asako-chan."
Chiyu got up to bow to the girls who answered politely, taking seats between them as Yuji told them to sit down while he'd get them something to drink. The girls looked after him, then turned to look at Chiyu curiously.
"Cheering up?" the other asked, whichever by name Chiyu didn't remember anymore. "Why are you sad?"
"Err, he exaggerates a little... I've just had a rough time." Rough? Just too many secrets coming clear, maybe?
Yuji returned, and placed two vividly colored drinks on the table. "Here you go, ladies." He took his seat, beginning to converse smoothly with the two, Chiyu joining to laugh at his jokes. Time passed smoothly like this, the beat of the music going into his veins, but he ignored it, chatting with the sisters and Yuji.
Lips closed against lips after a few drinks too many for the girls; Chiyu found the other snuggling up against his side, Yuji still talking with the other. Not bad, he thought to himself; Yuji was good at this thing. Whichever of the sisters this was--
Brown puppyeyes caught sight of blonde hair, his heart stopping for a moment as he realized he hadn't been mistaken. He didn't feel the nibble on his earlobe as he stared ahead to the crowd, amongst the people, the black endless orbs staring back at him.
"T..."
Yuji's eyes turned to Chiyu, and he raised his brows in question before turning to look in the same direction. He could catch a glimpse of the small boy in the crowd, people turning surprised as the third male pushed his way through them and out of sight. "Was that...?"
"T, Takeru", Chiyu breathed out, his hand coming to gently guide the girl back into a sitting position. "I'm really, really sorry. I have to go. Yuji, I'll pay you back, really."
"But...!"
The brunette hurried into the crowd, nearly tripping on the bag lying on the ground. People had already formed a small circle around it to avoid touching it; Chiyu could easily recognize it, picked it up, and jogged to the exit.
The street was its normal self, without a hint of the blonde anywhere in sight anymore.
But he had been there, Chiyu knew for sure, the bag in his arms a proof of it.
In a moment, anger flushed over him though. He dropped the bag on the street and sat down by it. What was he doing? Running after Takeru like that - but the boy didn't even remember his feelings, and had done that with Masato, too. Anger turned into pain, and pain into sorrow, and the Osakan male pressed his forehead into his knees, biting his lip hard to keep the sobs from being heard.
The autumn air was growing chillier.
Chapter: #11/#?
Author:
rookie_cherii
Band/Pairing: Chiyu x Takeru (SuG)
Rating: R
Warnings: violence, language
Summary: After Takeru's beginning to recover from the car accident Chiyu realizes what it truly means to fix the little black-eyed boy - and what it takes to get him free from the cage surrounding him first.
Comments: Lol I think this story is starting to repeat itself on some level? Possibly? Oh well. I like it. :/
Disclaimer: Don't own.
"I think this'll be fine for you", Koki nodded. "It's not one my favorites so it doesn't matter if I don't get it back."
"Mm, thanks."
Takeru unfolded the shirt. It wasn't too off the style he preferred, himself. Koki rummaged through his things for a oversized black woolen cap, offered it to the other, and then nodded. "That'll do. If I give you any more of mine, I'll have to start pestering you about returning them."
"Sorry to be getting you in trouble." Not that he'd really felt sorry. It was his own salvation.
"Mm-m." The stress seemed to be getting to the other blonde. For the whole day, he had been quiet, and Takeru assumed it wasn't that normal for him.
"Thanks."
Yuuri watched them from the door, humming to himself. Takeru peeked over his shoulder, raising a brow at the other. "What?"
"Weak, meat; strong, eat." The red haired one pushed his glasses on better. "I have to say I kind of envy how you're so ready to leap at the lion."
Takeru shrugged a shoulder. "I figured it's important that I do."
The tall one smiled. "Maybe in the future of this place we'll tell a story of a heroic boy who--"
"How do you understand what's he mean?" Koki asked, making Takeru turn back at him.
"Reading helps."
The blonde turned to walk to the door. "So, at midday by the office?"
"Yeah", said the other blonde. "He'll pick you up from there. Try to be cheerful."
"Aren't I?" Takeru grimaced.
He slipped into the corridor, Yuuri following his steps. "Someone should teach him not to let his daughter-in-law eat his autumn eggplants."
"He wants everyone to like him." Takeru shrugged.
"While you're dirty."
"I think it's more important to think the worst of people and not let them hurt you than think luck exists in the leftovers."
"I'll miss you~", Yuuri said in a sing-song tone.
"You won't remember my being here in a few days", commented the other in a matter-of-fact tone. Yuuri grimaced and spun a lock of hair around his finger.
"True, but it doesn't mean I didn't feel sad because something's missing."
Takeru shrugged and didn't answer.
It was half past eleven when he opened the door to his room, looking around at his few possessions and the bag on the floor. "I can't take much, right."
Yuuri leaned against the doorway. "I'd avoid too much weight."
"Mm."
The boy made a quick re-arragement in the room, then stuffed his favorite shirt and the pink shoes into the bag, along with the book that had been there which he hadn't touched since coming here. Everything else wasn't really valuable.
For a moment he stood still, then, until adding a parka amongst the things, then choosing a pair of jeans that reminded Koki's, changed into them and the shirt, pulling the cap on.
Putting his hands into the jean pockets Takeru stood still for a while. There was something missing, he knew it.
"I'd mistake you for him", said Yuuri.
"Good", said Takeru, but off-topicly. Then he picked up the old jeans, and put his hands into the pockets, pulling out the green omamori.
It felt warm in his hand. Just like the gentle embrace of the brunette's arms. Just like the soft words. Like the caring and love.
He put it into the bag, and picked it up. "Guess this'll be it." It was fifteen to midday.
Yuuri mock-saluted. "I'll make sure Hasune'll remind me about you, you know."
"No need to. Once I'm out of that door, I'm gone with the wind. There's nothing for me here after that."
No, everything he had was out there.
They left the room. Yuuri stopped after Takeru had pulled the door shut.
"I guess I understand your need to go out there", he said suddenly. Takeru raised a brow, turning to look at the red haired male. "I sometimes had a reason to not be here. But in the end it's better for me here than out there."
"What do you mean?"
"Every time I forget, there's one thing that comes back to me immediately", Yuuri spoke, and they slowly strode down the corridor. "It's a Ferris wheel. Another thing I can't forget is a face - I don't know whose, but it comes back to me every time. A boy. I guess I knew him. The Ferris wheel, this boy, but I can't remember anything else."
"Ferris wheel?" Takeru raised a brow. "Like in Cosmoworld."
"What's that?"
Takeru rolled his eyes. "You got to be kidding me. Everybody knows Cosmoworld and the Cosmo Clock."
"Not knowing is Buddha."
"Hm." Takeru nodded a little. "Well, I'm happy if you think you understand." Not that it would really have held any significance to him. But maybe on some level it made him feel less troubled about this situation.
They stopped a bit before the corridor to the office. Takeru sighed. "Well."
"Remember, cheerful." Yuuri grinned. "Like this."
The blonde boy looked at him for a moment, then pulled a grin, falling serious again. "Mm. Was nice knowing you and all that."
"I feel like a kite breeding a hawk, here." Yuuri laughed. Takeru said nothing. He stepped back, turned, and didn't lay eyes on the red haired boy again.
The nurse stood by the counter, and upon approaching the tiny boy put up a happy smile, feeling like vomiting at himself.
"Are you ready?" the man asked.
"Mm-hmm!"
"You know it's unusual for the head nurse to decide that after what you did you'd still get to go to town", he continued while opening the door to the office and leading the boy through it to the door leading out of the secure ward. Takeru felt a little tense. If this didn't succeed, he could just as well repeat the pencil incident.
"I promise to be good", he said, pouting a little. "Look, look at my cute face."
The man chuckled, and led the way past open doors to normal hospital rooms and offices with glass windows. Sunshine dyed the floors and walls. They walked along the corridors, and finally came to the doors to the outside world.
The end of the world forgotten behind everything came to its beginning point, and the nurse pushed open the doors, letting the boy walk into the bright sunlight, following him out.
"Come, I'll be driving you today. The taxi company was busy."
"Okay." He sticked to walking half a step after the nurse. The sunlight hurt his eyes a little, and thus he shaded his face from it with his hand, looking at the trees and hills and the city that spread against the horizon in the distance. Although he wasn't completely free yet, did freedom really taste this good even in small amounts?
The nurse opened the door of a creamy BMW, and Takeru slid in, holding the bag in his lap. He peeked outside pretending to be curious as the man slid to the driver's seat and started the car. "Where do you want to go?"
"The center. I'm dying to get some ice cream."
"Okay."
The car slid from the parking slot, through the yard and on to the asphalt road. It joined the highway soon, and Takeru wondered where exactly was the hospital located from the town's point of view. Road numbers said nothing to him without a map.
The drive didn't take that long as they easily moved among the other cars on the road. It was fairly quiet at this time. Takeru hummed to the music on the radio and felt icky for pretending to be so active. His head hurt and the car sounded bad to his ears, but he had to do this. It was too late to give up now. His heart was pulling him so hard it felt like it'd come off his chest soon.
"Nervous?"
"A bit", he said and tried to smile. "It's been a while."
"There's nothing to be nervous about." The nurse smiled kindly. The boy nodded, saying,
"Mm-hmm, I'm just excited I guess."
The first tall houses grew out of nowhere around the highway as they sped forwards. They didn't speak much as they listened to the radio; it was good, since the boy had enough to do trying to keep up this facade.
Finally the nurse drove off the highway, cruising down the lane to the city streets. Takeru felt his heart leap. Although he'd been to Yokohama before, it had never looked so good. The sun shone down upon it.
"So, where do you want to go now?"
"Ice cream. And then..." The boy thought about it for a while. A thought passed his mind then. "I want to go to Cosmoworld."
***
There were people everywhere. The nurse sticked with him, staying closeby, and Takeru didn't mind for now. He led the way through the people, toward the grand Ferris wheel standing in the middle of it all.
There was a queue outside going to the building, but he passed it, stopping by the information booth outside. The nurse stood a meter or so away from him, looking confused and curious, but didn't say anything. A brown-haired boy gazed up toward the wheel that turned leisurely and the clock that showed one fifteen pm.
"Excuse me", the blonde said, black eyes turning from a family to the boy working here.
The brunette spun around. His hair was cut unevenly, but not badly at all, and his eyes were just as black as the boy's, narrow and buttony. "Yes? How can I help you?"
"How long have you worked here?"
"A few summers", answered the other slowly, looking confused. A frown passed his face. "Why do you ask?"
"Sorry to bother you with something like this." He felt awkward. This was but a hunch he had, some vague idea, but he had to try it out. Not only that, but speaking with someone completely strange to him all of a sudden... "Do you know anyone by the name Yuuri?"
The other raised a brow. "Err." He put his hands on the counter, looking at the short blonde closely. "I'd still like to know why do you come here asking stuff like that."
"It's important, so I'm asking. Do you know someone like that?"
"I'm not sure, I'm not good with names."
"A guy who forgets stuff every day? Talks funny and has red hair?"
The brunette didn't speak for a while. Then, he nodded slowly. "Yeah. Who're you?"
"That doesn't matter, really. I met him and talked with him, and he said he remembers a Ferris wheel and some guy, but nothing else. If you know him, I'd say he means you. It's complicated."
Someone came to ask the brunette something, another staff member; he apologized to the boy, talking with his co-worker for a moment briefly. "Can we talk about this later?" he asked Takeru then.
The blonde shook his head; then, he nodded towards the notebook and pencils on the counter. "I'll give you my email."
Why'd he feel this was so important, he didn't know. Why'd he feel the need to find out this kind of stuff completely unrelated to himself, he had no idea. But nevertheless, Takeru scribbled his number on the paper. "What's your name, so I'll know later?"
"...Hazuki."
"Okay." He backed up and nodded a bit. "Mail me."
Not letting the brunette say anything more he turned and flashed a smile to the nurse. "An old friend", he explained cheerfully as he marched past the slightly confused male. "I want cotton candy."
The nurse nodded, walking by his side. When a mass of people came in their way, the blonde boy slipped to the side, and before the man had noticed it ran through the tourist group.
Freedom.
***
"So what are you going to do?" asked Yuji and looked at Chiyu.
The Osakan male shrugged a little. "I don't know. I know it'll hurt if I'll just up and forget about him. I can't get him out of my mind, but at the same time I don't want to think about him any more."
"You're really, really weird", commented the other. Chiyu shrugged a little.
"I've slept with a ton of girls since hearing about what happened between him and Masato."
"It's a signal of pain, man."
"I know. I am in pain."
"You haven't thought about seeing him? Asking him? Not that I'd really know that much, but I can say talking things through ought to do the trick." Yuji groaned then, setting the game controller down. "Damn that thing. Come on, help me out."
Chiyu picked up the controller, beginning the level again, the ninja boy nimbly moving on the game screen, but the witch beat him anyway. Yuji frowned. "You're not even trying."
"Sorry." Chiyu sighed and leaned back against the bed. They were sitting on the floor of Yuji's room. It was a simple room in a simple house in the simple suburb. Nothing special. The other boy's family was average, came by, but anything that could be considered luxury wasn't really there. Still, Chiyu liked it here. It was so normal.
"You need to talk to him. Or Masato. You know, maybe it's not as bad as it looks like."
Chiyu made an uncomfortable face. "But he won't remember. So what does it matter?"
"Martyr. You should try again. And visit Osaka, you know, I can see all this Tokyo air's really unhealthy for you."
"Maybe you're right."
"I know I'm right. Argh, fucking...!" Again putting the controller down, Yuji reached for his can of beer. "If you so think you have to get over him, let's go out tonight. I'll accompany you and we'll both hook up with some magnificent ladies."
"I don't know. I'm a bit tired of it all..."
"Come on. If you don't want to get laid, then at least come see me nail it and get some girl."
Chiyu chuckled. "Fine. Any place in mind?"
"Know how that Chocolate changed names into OZ? They got a new owner and the place was changed a bit, not much but a little."
"Chocolate? I know that place." Yes, he knew it. He remembered the blonde boy and how he'd danced.
"Why the gloomy face?"
"I went there with him once."
"Oh, gods. You're like mom when dad left her. Get up, get going, if you so want to get over it then stop looking at those fucked up details."
"Your parents divorced?"
"Mm. I was a teen so it wasn't that bad, I knew what it meant. I see dad sometimes. He got a new woman, and left mom for her. I couldn't really be angry at him, but I was always angry at the other woman."
"It's the first time I've heard you talk about it."
"I know." Yuji grinned brightly. "See, you're not the only one with issues."
"I know I'm not. ...I'm sorry about your parents."
"Ah, it's past already. I'm grown up and I get what it's like. Even back then I didn't let it affect things."
Chiyu nodded a little, then checked the time. It was daytime. He wished the clock would have moved on faster. Every day felt so difficult and painful. "I'll go visit my place", he said, getting up on his feet. "Got to shower and all that. I can't possibly get laid if I look like someone had beaten the crap out of me."
Yuji laughed. "That's the attitude. Gimme a call when you're ready and I'll stop trying to beat up this shitty boss."
With a chuckle, Chiyu left the room and leisurely descended the stairs. There was the sound of television coming from the living room as he put his shoes on and grabbed his jacket, making sure the door locked after himself. The street was in a shadow and thus his car was remotely cool when he slid in. For a good while Chiyu sat there, hands on his lap, thinking about nothing in practical. Then he picked the key from the jacket pocket and started the car.
***
"Takeru!" the woman tried to hold on to the boy's arm. "You can't just go like this!"
"I hate you! I hate you all! You, and that son-of-a-bitch, and everything about this place!" He pulled his arm free, running down the stairs. His brother pressed his back against the entrance hall wall to stay out of the way.
"You can't just leave! Where are you going? You'll die out there!"
"Like I'd be alive here!"
"What the hell is going on?" The powerful man a little taller than the boy ran from the garden through the living room. "What are you doing, idiot?"
"I'm not going to stick to this place any longer!" Takeru pulled on a pair of sneakers without much trouble. "Fuck you, fuck your lives, fuck this house and fuck everything!"
"You're just sick!" the mother cried. "Don't go, it'll be bad for you!"
"And with that fuckhead beating me up it'll be good? You're no saint either!" He pulled the hoodie sleeves up to show all the recent bruises. "Dragging me about, screaming in my ear - a perfect marriage of a devil and a whore!"
"Don't you go calling your mother that!" The man reached to grab his hair and pull the boy on the floor, hitting his face.
"Stop it!" the woman screamed. "Don't!"
"Let me go! Let me go, asshole!" He scratched the arm holding him down.
"This is your home and we're your parents, and you do what we say!"
"I'll rather kill myself!"
"Then you should just die!"
"Yeah! Finally you see my point! Kill me! Hit me until I won't move anymore! Let me have it my way!" The boy wiggled a little, his breathes sharp and difficult. "Choke me! Tear me apart! Stab me and throw me away! You've already done it all!"
He hit the boy again, this time hard on the side. Takeru screamed. The sound covered the cracking sound of a bone.
"Stop it!" she shouted. "You'll kill him!"
"Do it!" the boy yelled.
The man picked him up, kicked him, and threw him against the front door with ease. Takeru collapsed on his knees on the floor, holding his side. "Then go!"
The black eyes turned to the man and the woman whose hands were holding his arm now. He picked up a pair of scissors from the table by the shoe stand, flung them open, and pulled a long, red wound over the scars on his arm. Blood dripped on the mat. "There, I'll bleed the past out right here!"
"Go to hell, bastard lunatic brat!" the man took a step closer, but the boy didn't move. He wasn't afraid. How much easier would things be if the man would now put his hand over his head and turn until his spine would crack! That would conclude things, that would make everything better.
He climbed to his feet, weak from the punches and kicks, but burning with anger that kept him standing. "I'll never come here unless it's to burn this place down", he hissed from between his lips, throwing the bloody scissors on the floor, and then opened the front door, marching out to the fresh air that smelled like shit from his point of view. The woman cried after him, and the man yelled.
His brother ran after him. "You can't go bleeding like that, Takeru."
"Fuck you, too."
"Do you even have any money?"
"No, but what's that to you? Wouldn't it be better without me?"
Takeo remained silent for a moment before saying, "I'll lend you the money so you'll get to Tokyo, okay? There you can figure what to do. At least let me do that."
The boy glanced over at him, didn't speak. He held his hand over the wound on his arm.
"And let me tie that. Please." The older boy bit his lip. Takeru still said nothing. Finally, he hmph'ed, and mumbled,
"Whatever. Pay the train if you want to. Like it'd help me anyhow on a long run."
***
"We will shortly arrive to Tokyo Station. JR thanks you for taking the Keihin-Touhoku Line, and we hope you have enjoyed your ride. All passengers..."
The blonde chewed on a Hi-Chew piece in silence, waiting for other passengers to have gotten up and ready to go when the train stopped. Only when most of the people were by the exits did he get up and pick up his bag, follow the mass to the station.
How long had it really been since the last time here? He knew the place well, following the people from the platform to the station corridors, going for the Yamanote line platforms. Masses of people boarded the train, not leaving space for sitting down, but that didn't really bother the boy as he stood close to the doors. "Next stop, Yurakucho..."
It took time before he'd arrived to Harajuku, the doors sliding open with a hiss. After the empty white corridors this all seemed a little overwhelming. The tiny boy had to sit down at the station to breathe in the Yoyogi air. Once back on his feet again he traveled downstairs with the other people, stopped to buy a bottle of cola from the vending machine outside, and set by foot towards the apartment buildings to the left.
It took a while for him to find the key to the tiny room-of-an-apartment. There was no-one waiting for him outside, which was a good thing; the last time he'd come here his mother had been standing by the door, and after that... He frowned upon pulling the door open. Stupid memories.
Leaving his shoes to the almost inexistent entrance hall he shut the door and dropped the bag on the floor. What did he do here, Takeru didn't really know; maybe it was a change of clothes he was after or something. Rest he could not, that he knew: this place was just as much of a small nightmare as that hospital. At least the walls and ceiling were familiar; they remained silent as he entered and blobbed himself down on the mattress in one corner.
"Welcome home", said the boy in the mirror.
"Yo", he answered.
"Took some time off this place?"
"Something like that."
Takeru got up again then, and went to the other closet; here, he pulled out a shirt and baggy black trousers with white print all over them, and a pair of clean boxers, too; picking up the towel from the floor he went to the small cramped bathroom with virtually no space for anything.
After a quick shower - he didn't want to linger and start thinking - the boy put on the clean clothes and emptied the bag. For a moment he wondered where was the cell phone; then he remembered he'd never gotten it back in the hospital. With a shrug he put his wallet and such everyday items to the bag, hung it over his shoulder, and left again.
On his way through the ward he bought a new phone. Cheap, but not bad.
Then he sat down on a bench by Laforet, watching people pass by, no-one paying any attention to him.
Where to go, what to do?
It was afternoon, now, the streets busy.
I have to see him, he thought to himself; I have to contact him. But he didn't have Chiyu's number in the new cell. Of course he could have called Masato - but Takeru didn't feel like answering the other's questions about how'd he get out of the hospital and listen to the worry. No, he wanted Chiyu.
Getting on his feet again the boy took a turn at the crossroads and made his way to the station, buying a new ticket on Yamanote to Ebisu; from there he switched to Hibiya line and rode to Roppongi.
A few clouds roamed on the sky above the tall buildings as he roamed the streets from the station on. Takeru didn't remember the exact address; but he knew how the surroundings looked like, and thus it didn't exactly prove impossible for him to find the building and the playground in the front of it. He looked for Chiyu's car outside, not finding it. Even so, the short blonde made his way to the front door; it was open, kept from sliding shut with a rock.
The stairway was quiet as he waited for the elevator. There were no sounds other than the quiet hissing the lift left upon stopping. The music was just as annoying as ever; the boy tapped his foot on the floor, wishing it'd stop.
Stepping out he went to the door. It was familiar, the name on it familiar, everything about it almost welcoming. The slender fingers rang the doorbell.
There was no answer.
After a long time of waiting he figured Chiyu probably wasn't home. He could wait, of course; and wait, he did, sitting on the floor by the door.
After an hour and a half the boy came to the conclusion Chiyu wasn't coming home for a while. It was now past four. Maybe he'd call Masato later, ask for Chiyu's number. Climbing to his feet Takeru brushed dust off the pants, swung the bag back around his shoulder, and rode the elevator down. Outside the building he thought for a while: home he wasn't going to return (if that tiny apartment was home, to begin with), and he didn't have friends to call other than Masato. After a while of consideration the boy decided to take a little time off, sit down somewhere, have a drink, maybe, and then re-think of his plans.
His heart ached a little for seeing Chiyu immediately hadn't worked out.
"You'll see him", he mumbled to the life muscle. "You can hang in there."
***
Chiyu leaned back on the smooth seat as Yuji set the two beers on the table. The music was playing, but not too loud where they were sitting at. They had a good view to the dance floor, but it was a little further from here, as they sat closer to the bar. One of the bartenders waved a bit to them every time their gazes would meet.
"She's hot, man", Yuji grinned.
"Then ask her out."
"Wow, wow, she's working. I don't bother girls when they work."
The brunette chuckled. "Fine, fine." He sipped the cool beer, watching at the dancing people. It was difficult not to think about how he'd come here with the tiny blonde, no matter how hard he tried to think about other things. Yuji could see this, but didn't say anything. From his point of view, it was good enough that Chiyu had agreed to join him here to begin with.
"Look at that", Yuji nodded towards another table. Two girls were giggling together, the other looking mature, the other dressed a little childishly to look cute. "I like them."
"You're as if you were hunting."
"Yeah, for you."
Chiyu rolled his eyes. "I don't like that type. They have to be intelligent."
"Then that one over there. Or that one. Oh, those two, I bet they're sisters." Yuji was fast to get up. "I'll go talk to them."
About to stop, Chiyu decided against it, only sighing and chuckling a little. Fine. Yuji so wanted to cheer him up; he'd let the other do it. Maybe it'd even work. Maybe he'd find some company to help him forget.
Otherwise, maybe he'd have to get into a car crash himself.
He watched Yuji talk to the girls, and lifted his hand into a wave when they looked; both smiled sweetly, nodding to Yuji's words and laughed at the same time. Clones of each other, almost, thought the Osakan male. These Tokyo girls had always been so strange from his point of view.
Yuji returned with the girls. "Ladies, this is Chiyu. He needs a little cheering up. Chiyu, Saeko-chan and Asako-chan."
Chiyu got up to bow to the girls who answered politely, taking seats between them as Yuji told them to sit down while he'd get them something to drink. The girls looked after him, then turned to look at Chiyu curiously.
"Cheering up?" the other asked, whichever by name Chiyu didn't remember anymore. "Why are you sad?"
"Err, he exaggerates a little... I've just had a rough time." Rough? Just too many secrets coming clear, maybe?
Yuji returned, and placed two vividly colored drinks on the table. "Here you go, ladies." He took his seat, beginning to converse smoothly with the two, Chiyu joining to laugh at his jokes. Time passed smoothly like this, the beat of the music going into his veins, but he ignored it, chatting with the sisters and Yuji.
Lips closed against lips after a few drinks too many for the girls; Chiyu found the other snuggling up against his side, Yuji still talking with the other. Not bad, he thought to himself; Yuji was good at this thing. Whichever of the sisters this was--
Brown puppyeyes caught sight of blonde hair, his heart stopping for a moment as he realized he hadn't been mistaken. He didn't feel the nibble on his earlobe as he stared ahead to the crowd, amongst the people, the black endless orbs staring back at him.
"T..."
Yuji's eyes turned to Chiyu, and he raised his brows in question before turning to look in the same direction. He could catch a glimpse of the small boy in the crowd, people turning surprised as the third male pushed his way through them and out of sight. "Was that...?"
"T, Takeru", Chiyu breathed out, his hand coming to gently guide the girl back into a sitting position. "I'm really, really sorry. I have to go. Yuji, I'll pay you back, really."
"But...!"
The brunette hurried into the crowd, nearly tripping on the bag lying on the ground. People had already formed a small circle around it to avoid touching it; Chiyu could easily recognize it, picked it up, and jogged to the exit.
The street was its normal self, without a hint of the blonde anywhere in sight anymore.
But he had been there, Chiyu knew for sure, the bag in his arms a proof of it.
In a moment, anger flushed over him though. He dropped the bag on the street and sat down by it. What was he doing? Running after Takeru like that - but the boy didn't even remember his feelings, and had done that with Masato, too. Anger turned into pain, and pain into sorrow, and the Osakan male pressed his forehead into his knees, biting his lip hard to keep the sobs from being heard.
The autumn air was growing chillier.