Little Surprises Chapter 10
Title: Little Surprises
Author: x_lain_x;
Genre: Romance/ MPREG
Warnings: This fic contains male pregnancy and underaged sex! Don't like, don't read.
Rating: PG-13 for swearing~.
Pairings/Characters: Minho/Taemin
Synopsis: “A wail left him when his legs wouldn't fold close enough for him to rest his chin on them. Stupid stomach, stupid fat, stupid baby that was ruining his life."
( Chapter 1 )( Chapter 2 )( Chapter 3 )( Chapter 4 )
( Chapter 5 )( Chapter 6 )( Chapter 7 )( Chapter 8 )( Chapter 9 )
-
They were now four months along.
As Taemin pranced about unbothered by his baby bump, Jonghyun refused to take off his coat. He took to wearing large shirts, bulky scarfs and anything else that could somewhat balance his silhouette. He was not exactly uncomfortable yet, but looking in the mirror was sure disconcerning. So he didn't.
-
Jonghyun felt relieved when they entered the dressing room for Star King.
His outfit was composed of the usual black skinny jeans, a loose shirt, some kind of plaid long scarf for his neck and a jacket. Lots of layers were just what he needed to feel safe. He was just debating whether he wanted to change in front of everyone or not when Taemin said the most terrible thing he had ever heard.
“Noona, I'm not sure we can get inside these pants.” The magnae grabbed his own from the hanger, testing the waist and eyeing it critically.
The coordi-noona smiled, eyes practically shining with mirth and self-accomplishment as she took Jonghyun's pants from his unmoving hands.
“Oh yes you will fit! See?” She stretched the pants at the waist, showing a elastic band artfully inserted into the original design. “We made those for you two. Don't worry, you're in capable hands! Noona is going to make you both fashionable until the last month.”
“Oh! That's wonderful! And it looks really good too.” Taemin looked surprised, mouth comically making a 'O' and eyebrows hiding under his hairline. He was quick to check the elastic of his own pants too. “Noona, thank you~ You can barely see it!”
Meanwhile, Jonghyun was still frozen in place. Elastics? Already? He looked down and was horrified to find out he could not see as much of his feet as he was used to. His heart started to race as he looked around the room for a full-body mirror, not 100% sure he wanted to face the reality that was suddenly thrown at his face.
The blond caught his reflection on the other side of the room and walked there slowly. He could barely hear anything but his own heartbeat on his ears as he bypassed a bouncing Minho, being chased by Taemin for singing “Fantastic~ELASTIC~~”, and a giggling Munhee, who clapped for both of them. He sighed and fisted his jacket, finally lifting his eyes to look at himself.
Same legs, same arms, slightly rounder face. And that swollen stomach. He turned slowly, looking around to make sure no one was paying attention to him. The others had joined the 'elastic' teasing and Taemin was beating them up with a shirt. Good.
Jonghyun wriggled his hands on the fabric of his jacket and once again turned to face himself. Looking from the side, the belly was very obvious, not just noticeable as he had predicted. Licking his lips, he lifted his hands to feel it for the very first time.
He jumped away when he felt movement.
“Jonghyun-hyung?” Taemin's voice took him out of his stupor. The magnae was waiting close to him, pants in hand.
“Wh-what? Yes?” He was sure to keep his hands beside his body now, away from his belly and the weird feeling that had assaulted him.
Taemin smiled with simplicity, getting even closer and looking down. His voice was not much more then a whisper, a smile making way to his face.
”Is it moving hyung?”
The magnae grabbed the blond's belly with both hands, no warning whatsoever. Jonghyun yelped at the immediate response, the alien fluttering inside him freaking him out.
“Stop it!” The blonde hissed, forcefully grabbing Taemin's wrists. His eyes were wide and breath ragged. He felt confused and scared, his world being thrown off center yet again. He didn't know how to deal with this, he couldn't deal with this!
With large steps, he went to the cordi-noona. “Noona, I would like regular pants please.”
“Oh but-”
“Please noona. It will fit.” He nodded, more to himself then anyone else. Of course it would fit. He was still fine, all hot and handsome. He grabbed the pants off her hands with a jerky movement and stormed out of the room.
“Jonghyun-” Key's upset voice could be heard behind him. He could see everyone else frozen in place with the corner of his eye.
“Leave me alone, I'm fine!”
He banged the bathroom door and locked it, resting his head against it.
He was panting, his hands were shaking. What was wrong with him!?
-
They were calling him. Jonghyun could hear them, just outside the door.
He cursed as he tried once again to close the fly of his tight pants. Nothing. No matter how much he squirmed and sucked in his belly, the damned thing refused to close.
He panted, kicking the door of the stall he was in and quickly closing his eyes when said door banged against it's frame and fell open, exposing him to the cruelty of the mirror.
“Shit... God.” He sobbed, frantically reaching for the door and closing it once again. He was not himself anymore, he was not Jonghyun and he just didn't know how to live with it. How could he have missed it before?
“Jonghyun. Open the door, you have to get ready.” The blond tried to swallow another sob as he squeezed himself between the wall and the toilet bowl, making himself as small as possible. A wail left him when his legs wouldn't fold close enough for him to rest his chin on them. Stupid stomach, stupid fat, stupid baby that was ruining his life.
“Jonghyun. Come on.” Kibum was at the door. No honorifics, no-nonsense voice. He wondered how long he was there. He closed his eyes and tried to block out everything.
“Jonghyun, open the door.” Jinki. He didn't move.
He must have been there for 10 more minutes when the sound of a key on the lock woke him up from a slight doze.
“Shit...”
“Jonghyun-hyung?” Taemin? Why would they send Taemin? He was the one who started all this madness anyway. He was the one to blame for the pants and the baby boom in Shinee! Jonghyun didn't want to talk to him.
“Jonghyun-hyung, come on. I know you're in there.” The blonde kept quiet.
A sigh and Taemin boots walked into his line of sight, very clear through the gap under the door.
“I can see you hyung.”
“I know.” He just hugged his legs closer.
“Come on, we have a show to do.”
“I can't go out like this.”
“What are you talking about? Come on.” Taemin crouched and twisted his head a little bit, trying to spy his face from under the door.
Jonghyun just sniffed and shook his head, burying it in the protection of his crossed arms. He had went from pissed, to weepy, to completely lifeless in the spam of 20 minutes. Hn, his life.
Taemin, receiving no answer, opened the door slowly, and squatted in front of his band mate now. He felt nervous, had a slightly idea of what was going on, but, for Jonghyun to be this sad, it could run much deeper then any of them ever thought.
“Hyung? What's wrong?” Taemin bit his lip, trying to think of something to say. He was not half as emotional as Jonghyun and had only been sent inside because he was in the same situation. No one in their sane mind would sent blunt Taemin to console anyone who was not Minho or Munhee.
“Hyung...” With no options in the face of Jonghyun's silent treatment, he decided to just hug him. He cradled him close as well as he could in the cramped space, letting out a sigh as he felt the lead singer relax little by little.
They ended up cuddling in the bathroom for full 10 minutes before Taemin started to fidget. They had to be on stage in half a hour and neither of them were even close to being ready.
“Jonghyun-hyung...”
A sigh.
“Yeah, I know.” The blonde detached himself slowly, cleaning the residual tears he had silently cried.
The magnae caressed up and down Jonghyun's arm in an effort to help him recover and then, with a bathed breath, reached for something outside. It was the dreadful pair of pants. He was surprised when the other just snorted.
“Give me that.” Jonghyun grabbed the pants from the other's grasp, getting up and wriggling out of the too tight ones. He was dressed in seconds and much more comfortable. A smile made it's way to his lips, but he was careful to keep his back to the mirror.
Taemin looked up at him with a dumb expression for a few seconds.
“Hyung, that was not about the pants, was it?” Okay, maybe not so dumb. Jonghyun sighed, running his hands over his face.
“Taeminnie, let's leave it for another d-”
“You should tell me.” Taemin was now up, looking down at him with a serious expression. “I'm sorry, but we can't have you going berserk every time something different happens. You're pregnant, it's a wild ride.”
Jonghyun looked like he was going to scold him for being so forward, get mad at his prying habits, but instead he sighed tiredly once more. And then nodded.
“Okay, fine. Wait a second.” He walked to the door nervously, listening for anyone near the door. He let out a little laugh. It was useless, since Key was probably there, being as silent as a mouse anyway. So Jonghyun changed tactics, grabbed Taemin's arm and dragged him to the very last stall, closing the door behind them.
“Okay listen.” A deep breath, as if he was working up courage. Which he actually was.
“I'm listening hyung.”
“Two weeks ago, I called him.” He whispered.
“Him-oh. OH. Right.” Taemin motioned for him to keep going.
“Yeah, HIM. So, so...” His voice was wavering now, and he felt quite mad.
“So?”
“I'm getting there!” Jonghyun hissed. “So... So I told him we needed to talk and he agreed, but then he didn't want to do it over the phone.” Jonghyun sent Taemin a meaningful glance, but the magnae just looked at him cluelessly.
“Aish, you insensitive brat!” The blonde slapped the magnae's forehead. “He got here today and I'm meeting him after the doctor's appointment tomorrow!”
Taemin's eyes got twice their original size.
“Here? He's here in Korea, just to speak to you!? Here, from the other side of the world?” Taemin jumped a little bit, obviously excited at the prospect. Maybe things would finally work out for his hyung. “That's wonderful!”
“Yes, yes!” Jonghyun was smiling now, sharing the other's excitement. “But don't tell anyone! They might not like it and I told manager-hyung that I'm having lunch with my mother.”
“Don't worry, I'm not telling anyone.” Taemin smiled, dancing a little bit. If Jay had flown all the way from United States, things were bound to work. Maybe he would finally have his confident, cocky hyung back.
“Not even Minho?”
“Not even Minho.” They pink-swore and left the stall laughing as high-school girls.
And that was when Jonghyun saw himself in the mirror again. He pulled Taemin back by the hand.
“And THAT is the reason I flipped out.” He pointed to their reflections, disgusted at himself. All he could do was to keep his head low, eyes studying the scruffy toes of his boots.
Taemin slowly walked back, his giddy mood dying as he saw that dark cloud hang over Jonghyun's head once again. He looked carefully to where Jonghyun was pointing and saw nothing.
“Hyung... I don't see anything.” The magnae was hesitant, not wanting to set off the blonde again. There was something even deeper going on here.
“This. THAT!” He pointed at his reflection and then at his belly. “Don't you see? I look blotched, gigantic! I'm not Jonghyun anymore! Can't you understand that?” He was screaming by the time he said the last words, gesticulation wildly.
Taemin opened his mouth to speak, a cautious hand reaching out to stop the suddenly crazed Jonghyun. But he lashed out first, throwing his hands to the air and dodging the caring hand.
“Of course you can't! Of course you can't!! What am I thinking!? Minho says you're beautiful all the time. You get kisses, you get cuddles! You're happy and radiant, prancing around as if nothing is wrong! You even praise the cordi-noonas for those stupid pants! You don't even noticed the ridiculous silhouette!”
“Hyung, but nothing is really wrong. You're making things wrong. You're making this yourself.” Taemin's mouth was set into a thin line now, and he gave up on reaching for Jonghyun. That had hurt a little more than he was willing to admit.
“Everything is wrong! Everything! Don't you understand? I can't go see him like this!” Jonghyun now attached himself to Taemin's jacket, shaking a little bit. “Oh my God, I can't... What am I going to do....? He won’t want me like this…” The sobs started once again, this time much more forcefully then before.
“Hyung... Hyung. Look.” What Jonghyun thought was a hug, was actually a grip to manhandle him to face the mirror. He wailed in horror when Taemin's left hand lifted his shirt.
“Look at yourself. There's nothing wrong.”
Jonghyun tried to close his eyes, wriggle out of the magnae's hold, but he was tired and weak after so much emotional strain. He looked down and let his head dangle lifelessly.
“Stop. Please stop.” Jonghyun's voice was nothing more then a whisper in the silent bathroom.
“Look at yourself hyung. Look, you're beautiful, as handsome as ever. There's nothing wrong.” Taemin's voice was much gentler now, and the forceful hands had indeed become a back hug. “Please don’t let anyone make you think on the contrary, you’re the same Jonghyun.”
“I can't...”
“Yes you can. Look.” A finger under his chin left him no other choice. He was so tired.
He looked at himself for a full minute, studying the way his baby was slowly redesigning his body as he saw fit, stretching his carefully constructed abs into something more comfortable. He looked the same everywhere else.
“See?” Taemin smiled and let Jonghyun's shirt fall. “You're still the same hyung. If he loves you, you don't have to worry about that. It's his too, right?”
Jonghyun nodded, sniffing before trying to utter a word. “I just wonder...” His voice was heavy with crying. “I just wonder if he will love her too...”
“Her?” Taemin arched a brow.
“Yes, I'm positive. Will be sure tomorrow, but it's a girl.”
Taemin smiled and turned Jonghyun around, holding him close. The way their bellies bumped and got in the way was just silly but it tore a laugh out of the blonde.
Inside, Taemin felt just a little proud for making his hyung feel a little better. The rest was all up to the following day, all their hope’s in Jay’s hands. The magnae closed his eyes and send his own little prayer to the heavens.
-
Jonghyun sat in the hotel’s lobby nervously. His kept bouncing his left leg and when it started to cramp, he just changed to the other one. He rolled his ultrasound exam in one hand and hissed when he realized it, trying to smooth it out. Just to do it again in two minutes. Jay was taking his sweet time.
The blond could feel his heart beating inside his ribcage, almost threatening to jump out or just stop in rebellion for being overworked. There was nothing fun in getting up and trying to get ready to decide the rest of his life every single time he heard the elevator ping.
Jonghyun was almost dozing off against the cushioned seat when his cellphone went off, scaring the hell out of him. It was Jay. It made his palms sweat and he had to wipe them on his jeans before answering.
“H-hello.” Jonghyun hated how his voice stuttered, but Jay always had that effect on him.
“Hey baby~” The blonde closed his eyes at the pet name and tried not to hope. He wouldn’t - couldn’t - let himself lose focus of what he was here to do.
“You’re late.” Be short, be sure, be strong. Jonghyun said that to himself a thousand times before leaving his dorm.
“I can’t go down Jjong, I can see fan girls from my window and I think they’re stalking you. Care to come up?” There was a smile, that funny dorkiness that Jonghyun used to love in his voice. Now the blonde just wished he could take something seriously.
“Ok, I’m on my way and when I get there we’re going to talk. Talk, you heard me? What’s your floor?” Jonghyun tried for his best stern voice, even if he was a little light-headed from the change of plans. They were supposed to discuss it on the restaurant’s VIP room, with all privacy of the world, but still on a public location. A nice place with chairs, tables and, more importantly, no beds.
“Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry about that hun.”
Jonghyun sighed and counted to ten backwards, disconnecting the call. He arranged his coat and hoped for the best.
-
Jay was already waiting for him at the door when Jonghyun left the elevator. He was immediately enveloped in a hug, but kept both arms between them to protect himself. Human heat and cuddles were not was he was here for.
“I missed you. I was so happy when you called.” Jaebum tried to tug him closer, but Jonghyun resisted, arms firmly in place.
“We need to talk.” The blonde hoped he looked serious and business-like, but could feel the way his legs trembled. Apparently being over someone was only valid while away from said person.
“Yeah, come on. Let’s go inside.” Jonghyun did his best to ignore the feelings of lips against his temple or the guiding hand on his lower back that was way too low.
He took a calming deep breath as the door closed behind him.
Give him the exam, ask him to think about the situation and leave. He could repeat the actions a hundred times in his head, but he knew it would only work in his own perfect world. Nothing was that easy with Jay.
-
The hand on his shoulder turning him around made him tremble, just as the playful eyes suddenly got so close to his face. But it was the soft and warm feeling of lips against his that made him let out a whimper.
Surprised as he was, Jonghyun could do nothing to stop Jay from grabbing his wrists, taking his arms away from his torso and making him drop the exam.
He was so, so warm. The tongue trying to part his lips made Jonghyun shudder, an electric shock running from the tip of his toes to the last strand of hair on his head.
“Jonghyun, Jonghyun~ I missed you so much~ I’m so glad you’re back.”
Jay was jumbling against his mouth now, but the blonde could not make out a single word. A gasp left his throat when he realized the other was maneuvering them around the room.
Something… something. He was here to do something else. What was it?
When Jay finally closed his mouth over his again and seriously got down to business, Jonghyun forgot why he was trying to find the will to clamp his lips shut.
They were on the bed in seconds, Jonghyun falling down on his back while Jay climbed over him on all fours.
“So beautiful. You’re glowing. I missed you so much.” Jay lifted a hand to caress the blonde’s hair, looking lovingly into his eyes.
In Jonghyun’s head, gears were turning to find out what was wrong in the picture. Jay was kissing him, loving him and instead of elated, he felt dazed. He was absolutely sure he was forgetting something.
Jonghyun turned his head to the side as a bite to his neck made his back arch instinctively. He moaned and was close to throw a leg around Jay’s waist when he felt a hand sneak under his loose coat and sweater. That’s it!
Even realizing beforehand, Jonghyun couldn’t help the feeling of hurt when Jay jumped away from him as if in pain. He stood at the foot of the bed with both hands in the air, looking at the blonde with eyes big as saucers.
“I-I thought…”
Jonghyun gulped, looking up and trying to control his ragged breathing. How could he be so stupid? How could he be so easily seduced? He felt disgusted at himself yet again.
“L-Look Jay.” Jonghyun sat up, smoothing out his rumpled clothes. Dammit, how he could have let that happen?
“You told me you wanted to meet! You told me you wanted to share the news!”
Jay turned around, walking nervously around the room, hands thrown to the sky.
Jonghyun blinked. What…? That was not the reaction he was expecting.
“Yes. Yes, I did.” Jonghyun got up too, walking to the forgotten exam on the floor. He had to use a chair to bend down and get it, and never felt more embarrassed about it. It was ridiculous the amount of power Jay had over him.
“Then… what? Why!?” Jay gestured wildly at the general direction of his stomach, looking like a cornered animal. “I thought you wanted to get back together!”
“I do!” Did him? Really? Jonghyun was starting to really doubt himself.
“Then why!?” Jay walked to him, grabbing his shoulders.
“Why what Jay!? Please, you’re not making any sense.” Jonghyun felt anguished, nervous. Something was indeed going wrong here. The warm welcome, the kisses… Jay had completely misunderstood something.
“Why is this thing until inside you!?”
It was like a slap to his face, something he was getting quite used by now. Jonghyun could bet life was laughing at him that moment.
“W-what?” The blond could barely hear himself, all the disappointment and crushed hope weighting on him like a thousand stones.
“Jonghyun. Jonghyun baby. When you called me, I thought you had agreed with me.” Jay’s voice was lower now, but not any less desperate. He wanted to convince Jonghyun at all costs but, this time, the blonde could feel proud of not feeling his will bend at all.
“No.” Jonghyun shook his head to himself. This was ridiculous, his life was turning into a circus.
“Please Jonghyun. Please! I love you. Please, just get rid of it. Everything could be back as it was before.” He tried a little smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Right? Just kill it babe.”
Jonghyun could feel the moment he snapped, but it was like watching from beyond, looking as his hand rose against his will and closed into a fist. The pain on his knuckles was nothing against the satisfying hollow thud of Jay’s jaw taking the hit.
“Don’t. Ever. Speak about my baby like that again.” He ripped open the envelope of the ultrasound and thrust it right on Jay’s face. He was still trying to recover on the ground and Jonghyun could see his eyes criss-cross as he tried to make out the image. “This. Is your baby, you bastard. It’s not an ‘it’. It’s your baby girl.”
Jay shook his head and crawled away. Away from Jonghyun and away from the scary image on the black plastic. He just couldn’t.
“Jonghyun… Jonghyun, please. It’s just a bunch of cells, not a baby yet. Maybe later, when we’re older…”
“Stop it! Shut up!” It was time to put his vocal chords to some real use. “I heard her heartbeat today! How can you be so cold!?”
“I CAN’T BE A FATHER RIGHT NOW! It would mess everything up! I just can’t ok!?”
Jonghyun felt his heart leap out to his throat. Mess everything up? Mess what up!? Something was suddenly smelling fishy about all of this.
“What are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about!!?” He advanced on Jay ready for a fight. He had no idea how, but he could read on Jay’s face exactly what he was afraid of. It couldn’t be clearer if it was written on his forehead with a marker.
The phone interrupted his momentum and both men looked around for it. They spotted it sitting innocently on the coffee table and jumped. Jonghyun was closer and grabbed the device, looking at the screen.
“Nichkhun. Nichkhun!?” Jonghyun sneered. His luck to be 2-timed with the most handsome man around.
Jay looked like a deer caught in the headlights, eyes wide and breath shallow. “J-just give me the phone… He doesn’t know anything. Please.”
And, unfortunately, Jonghyun knew that was true. He was as certain he had been about the lie before. Nichkhun was a sweet guy and the blonde felt his pain double, reach out for his friend.
“Give her up.” His voice was finally steady again, he felt detached but in control. He had other, more pressing matters to think about in the moment.
“What- Just give me the phone-” The cell was still screaming in Jonghyun’s hand.
“GIVE HER UP DAMMIT! I WANT YOU AWAY FROM MY BABY!”
Jay jumped, frantically reaching for the phone and nodding his head. “OKAY! Okay! I give her up! Give me the phone please!”
“Tell me you will never look for us, you will never demand to see her.”
“I won’t I won’t! I don’t want her okay!? Give me the phone!”
Jonghyun didn’t. Instead he pressed ‘accept the call’ and then ‘speaker phone’. It was a bit pleasurable to watch Jay squirm.
“Jay? Are you there?”
Jonghyun could not make out most of their conversation in English, Jay growing steadily more confident as he realized that. But he could still read the tone of someone’s voice and that conversation was definitely sugar-coated.
Jonghyun snapped the phone close after the couple said their good-byes and handed it over to Jay quietly. He grabbed his bag and exam, turning to leave without a word. Before closing the door tough, he looked back at the shaking form still in the middle of the room.
“You know Jay. That naughty English classes paid off after all. I could even understand when Nichkhun spoke about morning-sickness. You can tell him iced tea helps.”
Jay’s mouth fell open as he tried to form words. An excuse, no doubt.
“Shut up, you asshole. You choose, now you better take care of him.” He banged the door close and fought against the sting of tears.
-
It was not easy for Jonghyun, as shaken as he was, to find the will to sneak past his fans. He could not believe his luck as Shiwon ‘s car stopped just at the light he was trying to cross.
“Hyung!”
“Huh- Jonghyun?” That smile, it made him want to smile too. So sincere. So different.
He walked to the door and was quickly ushered inside. A friendly pat to his shoulder made him sigh and slouch against the seat.
It took a few seconds, but Jonghyun finally realized they were in complete silence, even after the car started moving again. He looked to Shiwon and could see him stealing quick glances at him.
“Thank you. I was not in the mood to walk.”
“You’re welcome.” Shiwon smiled again, with that perfect row of white teeth. “W-would you like to have lunch with me?”
Jonghyun started, looking back to Shiwon with his large puppy eyes. He was being asked out?
His surprise must have showed into his face, because Shiwon let go of the steering wheel with one of the hands to make one of his famous gestures.
“No! I mean, not like this. Just… Just…” He hesitated, voice much lower. “You look like you need to talk.”
Oh. Jonghyun sighed. Maybe he did. He turned to Shiwon with slightly upturned corners of his mouth.
“Yes. I really do need to talk. Thank you, hyung.”
-
Took a long time once again! XD I'm sorry! But, well, it's finally here? =P
Anyway, this chapter is pretty much about Jonghyun, so sorry 2min only fans =/
Sorry for making Jong's life a hell XD
~Thanks to my lovely beta eechiyo~
Author: x_lain_x;
Genre: Romance/ MPREG
Warnings: This fic contains male pregnancy and underaged sex! Don't like, don't read.
Rating: PG-13 for swearing~.
Pairings/Characters: Minho/Taemin
Synopsis: “A wail left him when his legs wouldn't fold close enough for him to rest his chin on them. Stupid stomach, stupid fat, stupid baby that was ruining his life."
( Chapter 1 )( Chapter 2 )( Chapter 3 )( Chapter 4 )
( Chapter 5 )( Chapter 6 )( Chapter 7 )( Chapter 8 )( Chapter 9 )
-
They were now four months along.
As Taemin pranced about unbothered by his baby bump, Jonghyun refused to take off his coat. He took to wearing large shirts, bulky scarfs and anything else that could somewhat balance his silhouette. He was not exactly uncomfortable yet, but looking in the mirror was sure disconcerning. So he didn't.
-
Jonghyun felt relieved when they entered the dressing room for Star King.
His outfit was composed of the usual black skinny jeans, a loose shirt, some kind of plaid long scarf for his neck and a jacket. Lots of layers were just what he needed to feel safe. He was just debating whether he wanted to change in front of everyone or not when Taemin said the most terrible thing he had ever heard.
“Noona, I'm not sure we can get inside these pants.” The magnae grabbed his own from the hanger, testing the waist and eyeing it critically.
The coordi-noona smiled, eyes practically shining with mirth and self-accomplishment as she took Jonghyun's pants from his unmoving hands.
“Oh yes you will fit! See?” She stretched the pants at the waist, showing a elastic band artfully inserted into the original design. “We made those for you two. Don't worry, you're in capable hands! Noona is going to make you both fashionable until the last month.”
“Oh! That's wonderful! And it looks really good too.” Taemin looked surprised, mouth comically making a 'O' and eyebrows hiding under his hairline. He was quick to check the elastic of his own pants too. “Noona, thank you~ You can barely see it!”
Meanwhile, Jonghyun was still frozen in place. Elastics? Already? He looked down and was horrified to find out he could not see as much of his feet as he was used to. His heart started to race as he looked around the room for a full-body mirror, not 100% sure he wanted to face the reality that was suddenly thrown at his face.
The blond caught his reflection on the other side of the room and walked there slowly. He could barely hear anything but his own heartbeat on his ears as he bypassed a bouncing Minho, being chased by Taemin for singing “Fantastic~ELASTIC~~”, and a giggling Munhee, who clapped for both of them. He sighed and fisted his jacket, finally lifting his eyes to look at himself.
Same legs, same arms, slightly rounder face. And that swollen stomach. He turned slowly, looking around to make sure no one was paying attention to him. The others had joined the 'elastic' teasing and Taemin was beating them up with a shirt. Good.
Jonghyun wriggled his hands on the fabric of his jacket and once again turned to face himself. Looking from the side, the belly was very obvious, not just noticeable as he had predicted. Licking his lips, he lifted his hands to feel it for the very first time.
He jumped away when he felt movement.
“Jonghyun-hyung?” Taemin's voice took him out of his stupor. The magnae was waiting close to him, pants in hand.
“Wh-what? Yes?” He was sure to keep his hands beside his body now, away from his belly and the weird feeling that had assaulted him.
Taemin smiled with simplicity, getting even closer and looking down. His voice was not much more then a whisper, a smile making way to his face.
”Is it moving hyung?”
The magnae grabbed the blond's belly with both hands, no warning whatsoever. Jonghyun yelped at the immediate response, the alien fluttering inside him freaking him out.
“Stop it!” The blonde hissed, forcefully grabbing Taemin's wrists. His eyes were wide and breath ragged. He felt confused and scared, his world being thrown off center yet again. He didn't know how to deal with this, he couldn't deal with this!
With large steps, he went to the cordi-noona. “Noona, I would like regular pants please.”
“Oh but-”
“Please noona. It will fit.” He nodded, more to himself then anyone else. Of course it would fit. He was still fine, all hot and handsome. He grabbed the pants off her hands with a jerky movement and stormed out of the room.
“Jonghyun-” Key's upset voice could be heard behind him. He could see everyone else frozen in place with the corner of his eye.
“Leave me alone, I'm fine!”
He banged the bathroom door and locked it, resting his head against it.
He was panting, his hands were shaking. What was wrong with him!?
-
They were calling him. Jonghyun could hear them, just outside the door.
He cursed as he tried once again to close the fly of his tight pants. Nothing. No matter how much he squirmed and sucked in his belly, the damned thing refused to close.
He panted, kicking the door of the stall he was in and quickly closing his eyes when said door banged against it's frame and fell open, exposing him to the cruelty of the mirror.
“Shit... God.” He sobbed, frantically reaching for the door and closing it once again. He was not himself anymore, he was not Jonghyun and he just didn't know how to live with it. How could he have missed it before?
“Jonghyun. Open the door, you have to get ready.” The blond tried to swallow another sob as he squeezed himself between the wall and the toilet bowl, making himself as small as possible. A wail left him when his legs wouldn't fold close enough for him to rest his chin on them. Stupid stomach, stupid fat, stupid baby that was ruining his life.
“Jonghyun. Come on.” Kibum was at the door. No honorifics, no-nonsense voice. He wondered how long he was there. He closed his eyes and tried to block out everything.
“Jonghyun, open the door.” Jinki. He didn't move.
He must have been there for 10 more minutes when the sound of a key on the lock woke him up from a slight doze.
“Shit...”
“Jonghyun-hyung?” Taemin? Why would they send Taemin? He was the one who started all this madness anyway. He was the one to blame for the pants and the baby boom in Shinee! Jonghyun didn't want to talk to him.
“Jonghyun-hyung, come on. I know you're in there.” The blonde kept quiet.
A sigh and Taemin boots walked into his line of sight, very clear through the gap under the door.
“I can see you hyung.”
“I know.” He just hugged his legs closer.
“Come on, we have a show to do.”
“I can't go out like this.”
“What are you talking about? Come on.” Taemin crouched and twisted his head a little bit, trying to spy his face from under the door.
Jonghyun just sniffed and shook his head, burying it in the protection of his crossed arms. He had went from pissed, to weepy, to completely lifeless in the spam of 20 minutes. Hn, his life.
Taemin, receiving no answer, opened the door slowly, and squatted in front of his band mate now. He felt nervous, had a slightly idea of what was going on, but, for Jonghyun to be this sad, it could run much deeper then any of them ever thought.
“Hyung? What's wrong?” Taemin bit his lip, trying to think of something to say. He was not half as emotional as Jonghyun and had only been sent inside because he was in the same situation. No one in their sane mind would sent blunt Taemin to console anyone who was not Minho or Munhee.
“Hyung...” With no options in the face of Jonghyun's silent treatment, he decided to just hug him. He cradled him close as well as he could in the cramped space, letting out a sigh as he felt the lead singer relax little by little.
They ended up cuddling in the bathroom for full 10 minutes before Taemin started to fidget. They had to be on stage in half a hour and neither of them were even close to being ready.
“Jonghyun-hyung...”
A sigh.
“Yeah, I know.” The blonde detached himself slowly, cleaning the residual tears he had silently cried.
The magnae caressed up and down Jonghyun's arm in an effort to help him recover and then, with a bathed breath, reached for something outside. It was the dreadful pair of pants. He was surprised when the other just snorted.
“Give me that.” Jonghyun grabbed the pants from the other's grasp, getting up and wriggling out of the too tight ones. He was dressed in seconds and much more comfortable. A smile made it's way to his lips, but he was careful to keep his back to the mirror.
Taemin looked up at him with a dumb expression for a few seconds.
“Hyung, that was not about the pants, was it?” Okay, maybe not so dumb. Jonghyun sighed, running his hands over his face.
“Taeminnie, let's leave it for another d-”
“You should tell me.” Taemin was now up, looking down at him with a serious expression. “I'm sorry, but we can't have you going berserk every time something different happens. You're pregnant, it's a wild ride.”
Jonghyun looked like he was going to scold him for being so forward, get mad at his prying habits, but instead he sighed tiredly once more. And then nodded.
“Okay, fine. Wait a second.” He walked to the door nervously, listening for anyone near the door. He let out a little laugh. It was useless, since Key was probably there, being as silent as a mouse anyway. So Jonghyun changed tactics, grabbed Taemin's arm and dragged him to the very last stall, closing the door behind them.
“Okay listen.” A deep breath, as if he was working up courage. Which he actually was.
“I'm listening hyung.”
“Two weeks ago, I called him.” He whispered.
“Him-oh. OH. Right.” Taemin motioned for him to keep going.
“Yeah, HIM. So, so...” His voice was wavering now, and he felt quite mad.
“So?”
“I'm getting there!” Jonghyun hissed. “So... So I told him we needed to talk and he agreed, but then he didn't want to do it over the phone.” Jonghyun sent Taemin a meaningful glance, but the magnae just looked at him cluelessly.
“Aish, you insensitive brat!” The blonde slapped the magnae's forehead. “He got here today and I'm meeting him after the doctor's appointment tomorrow!”
Taemin's eyes got twice their original size.
“Here? He's here in Korea, just to speak to you!? Here, from the other side of the world?” Taemin jumped a little bit, obviously excited at the prospect. Maybe things would finally work out for his hyung. “That's wonderful!”
“Yes, yes!” Jonghyun was smiling now, sharing the other's excitement. “But don't tell anyone! They might not like it and I told manager-hyung that I'm having lunch with my mother.”
“Don't worry, I'm not telling anyone.” Taemin smiled, dancing a little bit. If Jay had flown all the way from United States, things were bound to work. Maybe he would finally have his confident, cocky hyung back.
“Not even Minho?”
“Not even Minho.” They pink-swore and left the stall laughing as high-school girls.
And that was when Jonghyun saw himself in the mirror again. He pulled Taemin back by the hand.
“And THAT is the reason I flipped out.” He pointed to their reflections, disgusted at himself. All he could do was to keep his head low, eyes studying the scruffy toes of his boots.
Taemin slowly walked back, his giddy mood dying as he saw that dark cloud hang over Jonghyun's head once again. He looked carefully to where Jonghyun was pointing and saw nothing.
“Hyung... I don't see anything.” The magnae was hesitant, not wanting to set off the blonde again. There was something even deeper going on here.
“This. THAT!” He pointed at his reflection and then at his belly. “Don't you see? I look blotched, gigantic! I'm not Jonghyun anymore! Can't you understand that?” He was screaming by the time he said the last words, gesticulation wildly.
Taemin opened his mouth to speak, a cautious hand reaching out to stop the suddenly crazed Jonghyun. But he lashed out first, throwing his hands to the air and dodging the caring hand.
“Of course you can't! Of course you can't!! What am I thinking!? Minho says you're beautiful all the time. You get kisses, you get cuddles! You're happy and radiant, prancing around as if nothing is wrong! You even praise the cordi-noonas for those stupid pants! You don't even noticed the ridiculous silhouette!”
“Hyung, but nothing is really wrong. You're making things wrong. You're making this yourself.” Taemin's mouth was set into a thin line now, and he gave up on reaching for Jonghyun. That had hurt a little more than he was willing to admit.
“Everything is wrong! Everything! Don't you understand? I can't go see him like this!” Jonghyun now attached himself to Taemin's jacket, shaking a little bit. “Oh my God, I can't... What am I going to do....? He won’t want me like this…” The sobs started once again, this time much more forcefully then before.
“Hyung... Hyung. Look.” What Jonghyun thought was a hug, was actually a grip to manhandle him to face the mirror. He wailed in horror when Taemin's left hand lifted his shirt.
“Look at yourself. There's nothing wrong.”
Jonghyun tried to close his eyes, wriggle out of the magnae's hold, but he was tired and weak after so much emotional strain. He looked down and let his head dangle lifelessly.
“Stop. Please stop.” Jonghyun's voice was nothing more then a whisper in the silent bathroom.
“Look at yourself hyung. Look, you're beautiful, as handsome as ever. There's nothing wrong.” Taemin's voice was much gentler now, and the forceful hands had indeed become a back hug. “Please don’t let anyone make you think on the contrary, you’re the same Jonghyun.”
“I can't...”
“Yes you can. Look.” A finger under his chin left him no other choice. He was so tired.
He looked at himself for a full minute, studying the way his baby was slowly redesigning his body as he saw fit, stretching his carefully constructed abs into something more comfortable. He looked the same everywhere else.
“See?” Taemin smiled and let Jonghyun's shirt fall. “You're still the same hyung. If he loves you, you don't have to worry about that. It's his too, right?”
Jonghyun nodded, sniffing before trying to utter a word. “I just wonder...” His voice was heavy with crying. “I just wonder if he will love her too...”
“Her?” Taemin arched a brow.
“Yes, I'm positive. Will be sure tomorrow, but it's a girl.”
Taemin smiled and turned Jonghyun around, holding him close. The way their bellies bumped and got in the way was just silly but it tore a laugh out of the blonde.
Inside, Taemin felt just a little proud for making his hyung feel a little better. The rest was all up to the following day, all their hope’s in Jay’s hands. The magnae closed his eyes and send his own little prayer to the heavens.
-
Jonghyun sat in the hotel’s lobby nervously. His kept bouncing his left leg and when it started to cramp, he just changed to the other one. He rolled his ultrasound exam in one hand and hissed when he realized it, trying to smooth it out. Just to do it again in two minutes. Jay was taking his sweet time.
The blond could feel his heart beating inside his ribcage, almost threatening to jump out or just stop in rebellion for being overworked. There was nothing fun in getting up and trying to get ready to decide the rest of his life every single time he heard the elevator ping.
Jonghyun was almost dozing off against the cushioned seat when his cellphone went off, scaring the hell out of him. It was Jay. It made his palms sweat and he had to wipe them on his jeans before answering.
“H-hello.” Jonghyun hated how his voice stuttered, but Jay always had that effect on him.
“Hey baby~” The blonde closed his eyes at the pet name and tried not to hope. He wouldn’t - couldn’t - let himself lose focus of what he was here to do.
“You’re late.” Be short, be sure, be strong. Jonghyun said that to himself a thousand times before leaving his dorm.
“I can’t go down Jjong, I can see fan girls from my window and I think they’re stalking you. Care to come up?” There was a smile, that funny dorkiness that Jonghyun used to love in his voice. Now the blonde just wished he could take something seriously.
“Ok, I’m on my way and when I get there we’re going to talk. Talk, you heard me? What’s your floor?” Jonghyun tried for his best stern voice, even if he was a little light-headed from the change of plans. They were supposed to discuss it on the restaurant’s VIP room, with all privacy of the world, but still on a public location. A nice place with chairs, tables and, more importantly, no beds.
“Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry about that hun.”
Jonghyun sighed and counted to ten backwards, disconnecting the call. He arranged his coat and hoped for the best.
-
Jay was already waiting for him at the door when Jonghyun left the elevator. He was immediately enveloped in a hug, but kept both arms between them to protect himself. Human heat and cuddles were not was he was here for.
“I missed you. I was so happy when you called.” Jaebum tried to tug him closer, but Jonghyun resisted, arms firmly in place.
“We need to talk.” The blonde hoped he looked serious and business-like, but could feel the way his legs trembled. Apparently being over someone was only valid while away from said person.
“Yeah, come on. Let’s go inside.” Jonghyun did his best to ignore the feelings of lips against his temple or the guiding hand on his lower back that was way too low.
He took a calming deep breath as the door closed behind him.
Give him the exam, ask him to think about the situation and leave. He could repeat the actions a hundred times in his head, but he knew it would only work in his own perfect world. Nothing was that easy with Jay.
-
The hand on his shoulder turning him around made him tremble, just as the playful eyes suddenly got so close to his face. But it was the soft and warm feeling of lips against his that made him let out a whimper.
Surprised as he was, Jonghyun could do nothing to stop Jay from grabbing his wrists, taking his arms away from his torso and making him drop the exam.
He was so, so warm. The tongue trying to part his lips made Jonghyun shudder, an electric shock running from the tip of his toes to the last strand of hair on his head.
“Jonghyun, Jonghyun~ I missed you so much~ I’m so glad you’re back.”
Jay was jumbling against his mouth now, but the blonde could not make out a single word. A gasp left his throat when he realized the other was maneuvering them around the room.
Something… something. He was here to do something else. What was it?
When Jay finally closed his mouth over his again and seriously got down to business, Jonghyun forgot why he was trying to find the will to clamp his lips shut.
They were on the bed in seconds, Jonghyun falling down on his back while Jay climbed over him on all fours.
“So beautiful. You’re glowing. I missed you so much.” Jay lifted a hand to caress the blonde’s hair, looking lovingly into his eyes.
In Jonghyun’s head, gears were turning to find out what was wrong in the picture. Jay was kissing him, loving him and instead of elated, he felt dazed. He was absolutely sure he was forgetting something.
Jonghyun turned his head to the side as a bite to his neck made his back arch instinctively. He moaned and was close to throw a leg around Jay’s waist when he felt a hand sneak under his loose coat and sweater. That’s it!
Even realizing beforehand, Jonghyun couldn’t help the feeling of hurt when Jay jumped away from him as if in pain. He stood at the foot of the bed with both hands in the air, looking at the blonde with eyes big as saucers.
“I-I thought…”
Jonghyun gulped, looking up and trying to control his ragged breathing. How could he be so stupid? How could he be so easily seduced? He felt disgusted at himself yet again.
“L-Look Jay.” Jonghyun sat up, smoothing out his rumpled clothes. Dammit, how he could have let that happen?
“You told me you wanted to meet! You told me you wanted to share the news!”
Jay turned around, walking nervously around the room, hands thrown to the sky.
Jonghyun blinked. What…? That was not the reaction he was expecting.
“Yes. Yes, I did.” Jonghyun got up too, walking to the forgotten exam on the floor. He had to use a chair to bend down and get it, and never felt more embarrassed about it. It was ridiculous the amount of power Jay had over him.
“Then… what? Why!?” Jay gestured wildly at the general direction of his stomach, looking like a cornered animal. “I thought you wanted to get back together!”
“I do!” Did him? Really? Jonghyun was starting to really doubt himself.
“Then why!?” Jay walked to him, grabbing his shoulders.
“Why what Jay!? Please, you’re not making any sense.” Jonghyun felt anguished, nervous. Something was indeed going wrong here. The warm welcome, the kisses… Jay had completely misunderstood something.
“Why is this thing until inside you!?”
It was like a slap to his face, something he was getting quite used by now. Jonghyun could bet life was laughing at him that moment.
“W-what?” The blond could barely hear himself, all the disappointment and crushed hope weighting on him like a thousand stones.
“Jonghyun. Jonghyun baby. When you called me, I thought you had agreed with me.” Jay’s voice was lower now, but not any less desperate. He wanted to convince Jonghyun at all costs but, this time, the blonde could feel proud of not feeling his will bend at all.
“No.” Jonghyun shook his head to himself. This was ridiculous, his life was turning into a circus.
“Please Jonghyun. Please! I love you. Please, just get rid of it. Everything could be back as it was before.” He tried a little smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Right? Just kill it babe.”
Jonghyun could feel the moment he snapped, but it was like watching from beyond, looking as his hand rose against his will and closed into a fist. The pain on his knuckles was nothing against the satisfying hollow thud of Jay’s jaw taking the hit.
“Don’t. Ever. Speak about my baby like that again.” He ripped open the envelope of the ultrasound and thrust it right on Jay’s face. He was still trying to recover on the ground and Jonghyun could see his eyes criss-cross as he tried to make out the image. “This. Is your baby, you bastard. It’s not an ‘it’. It’s your baby girl.”
Jay shook his head and crawled away. Away from Jonghyun and away from the scary image on the black plastic. He just couldn’t.
“Jonghyun… Jonghyun, please. It’s just a bunch of cells, not a baby yet. Maybe later, when we’re older…”
“Stop it! Shut up!” It was time to put his vocal chords to some real use. “I heard her heartbeat today! How can you be so cold!?”
“I CAN’T BE A FATHER RIGHT NOW! It would mess everything up! I just can’t ok!?”
Jonghyun felt his heart leap out to his throat. Mess everything up? Mess what up!? Something was suddenly smelling fishy about all of this.
“What are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about!!?” He advanced on Jay ready for a fight. He had no idea how, but he could read on Jay’s face exactly what he was afraid of. It couldn’t be clearer if it was written on his forehead with a marker.
The phone interrupted his momentum and both men looked around for it. They spotted it sitting innocently on the coffee table and jumped. Jonghyun was closer and grabbed the device, looking at the screen.
“Nichkhun. Nichkhun!?” Jonghyun sneered. His luck to be 2-timed with the most handsome man around.
Jay looked like a deer caught in the headlights, eyes wide and breath shallow. “J-just give me the phone… He doesn’t know anything. Please.”
And, unfortunately, Jonghyun knew that was true. He was as certain he had been about the lie before. Nichkhun was a sweet guy and the blonde felt his pain double, reach out for his friend.
“Give her up.” His voice was finally steady again, he felt detached but in control. He had other, more pressing matters to think about in the moment.
“What- Just give me the phone-” The cell was still screaming in Jonghyun’s hand.
“GIVE HER UP DAMMIT! I WANT YOU AWAY FROM MY BABY!”
Jay jumped, frantically reaching for the phone and nodding his head. “OKAY! Okay! I give her up! Give me the phone please!”
“Tell me you will never look for us, you will never demand to see her.”
“I won’t I won’t! I don’t want her okay!? Give me the phone!”
Jonghyun didn’t. Instead he pressed ‘accept the call’ and then ‘speaker phone’. It was a bit pleasurable to watch Jay squirm.
“Jay? Are you there?”
Jonghyun could not make out most of their conversation in English, Jay growing steadily more confident as he realized that. But he could still read the tone of someone’s voice and that conversation was definitely sugar-coated.
Jonghyun snapped the phone close after the couple said their good-byes and handed it over to Jay quietly. He grabbed his bag and exam, turning to leave without a word. Before closing the door tough, he looked back at the shaking form still in the middle of the room.
“You know Jay. That naughty English classes paid off after all. I could even understand when Nichkhun spoke about morning-sickness. You can tell him iced tea helps.”
Jay’s mouth fell open as he tried to form words. An excuse, no doubt.
“Shut up, you asshole. You choose, now you better take care of him.” He banged the door close and fought against the sting of tears.
-
It was not easy for Jonghyun, as shaken as he was, to find the will to sneak past his fans. He could not believe his luck as Shiwon ‘s car stopped just at the light he was trying to cross.
“Hyung!”
“Huh- Jonghyun?” That smile, it made him want to smile too. So sincere. So different.
He walked to the door and was quickly ushered inside. A friendly pat to his shoulder made him sigh and slouch against the seat.
It took a few seconds, but Jonghyun finally realized they were in complete silence, even after the car started moving again. He looked to Shiwon and could see him stealing quick glances at him.
“Thank you. I was not in the mood to walk.”
“You’re welcome.” Shiwon smiled again, with that perfect row of white teeth. “W-would you like to have lunch with me?”
Jonghyun started, looking back to Shiwon with his large puppy eyes. He was being asked out?
His surprise must have showed into his face, because Shiwon let go of the steering wheel with one of the hands to make one of his famous gestures.
“No! I mean, not like this. Just… Just…” He hesitated, voice much lower. “You look like you need to talk.”
Oh. Jonghyun sighed. Maybe he did. He turned to Shiwon with slightly upturned corners of his mouth.
“Yes. I really do need to talk. Thank you, hyung.”
-
Took a long time once again! XD I'm sorry! But, well, it's finally here? =P
Anyway, this chapter is pretty much about Jonghyun, so sorry 2min only fans =/
Sorry for making Jong's life a hell XD
~Thanks to my lovely beta eechiyo~