so much on my mind.
i should really start writing in this thing again. My english teacher is very inspiring. i regret not keeping an actual day-to-day journal. I love reading my old ones i find from years ago. They help me remember who I am. I saw the movie Children of Men the other night and i was somewhat disturbed. what is this world coming to? I hate that we are born into it as slaves but are so ironically patriotic about our so-called "freedom." It really bothers me that we have to work unbelievably hard even if our dream in life is to just be able to sit down and do nothing. Can you imagine that, leading a life in which you have no serious responsabilities or burdens and waking up every morning and being able to say, well, what is it i want to do today? isn't that freedom? it should be mine already. but this world makes me work for it. sometimes i just want to say fuck it. i want to do whatever it is i want whenever the hell i want. no plan, just pure spontaniety. that is what truly makes me happy; so why can't i have it?