Will you sit and critize me as I cry?
Here, Here I am again.. and I'm starring at these same four walls alone again...
I know now how hard it would be without him in my life! He's like grounded until he's 50. I miss him so much. I mean, yeah he's grounded...but only from me =/ What is he doing? Who is he with? It makes me sick to my stomache, cause I already know he can't be trusted. This sucks! I was seriously going insane...I HAD to talk to him..it was a must! I called and he answered.. I was really happy.. I cryed though. It hurt for some reason. He yelled at me for calling but I explained to him how I felt.. I asked him if he considered himself single...he said NO! That made me feel soo much better! That's basically what has been playing on my mind more than anything. I just wish I can be with him for like an hour even.. I feel empty without him...like, I'm incomplete! I sit and cry with my stomache in knots wondering where he is.. or if any feelings changed. I miss his kisses.. the way he holds me when I'm having a bad day, or just the way he is always there for me.. I wish his parents can understand how much I need him in my life. How could they take the most important thing in my life away from me? Like, for how long is he grounded... and why only from me? Just cause he sleeps in school and shit isn't my problem... I'm not his babysitter! We arn't broken up, and that's why I think it's so hard not to see him..Like, if we weren't together, I really don't think it would be as bad...but we are still together.. and I do need him in my life...I HATE HIS PARENTS!!!I can't handle this anymore though. I miss him so much! [I just wanna talk to you..my broken heart just has no use without you!]
I got my prom dress. I'm much excited about that.. Its really pretty.. =)
Last night I was with Melissa, Katelyn, Meghan, and Christina for Katelyn's birthday! It was a good time. We were just driving around acting stupid like usual... It got my mind off of a lot of things though.
Uhhh, I feel lost!
Cheerleading Tryouts! MARCH 3rd! blahhh! What the hell, we are still cheering for basketball...ever hear of a break? Guess not! Practices for tryouts are on the 1st and 2nd. We supposedly have a schedule.. whatever! It's not even fun anymore.. If I didn't love to cheer so much I wouldn't even waste my time.. but I do love it, so I won't quit...yah know what I mean?
I downloaded some ringhtones on my phone today..lol...I was such a dork.. it was exciting! I downloaded Mandy Moore* Cry. Mariah Carey* Always be my Baby, JLo* Ain't it funny, and another one.. I forget!
Well, I guess I'm gonna watch a movie considering I'm stuck here babysitting...
xo.
Just Surrender!