Renr hier mit Liebe - 1/1 [One-shot]
Rennt hier mit Liebe
Author: x_keiosu
Fandom: Gazetto!
Pairing: ReitaXRuki(Reituki)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, High-school AU and Romance.
Rating: PG-13(At worst, sorry nothing graphic :p)
Warning: BxB love, teenage angst, awful fluff. Un-beta shizzle--Slight self-mutilation, strong language, AU & possible OOC behavior! o:
Disclaimer: I don't own Gazetto or PS Company: it's the opposite. ;3
Summary: This heavy pounding that beats, with my every breath--is this the result of a broken heart? Or perhaps the kind and gentle, warmth love Reita shows? Despite the true reason, I'll always feel safe within his embrace. Where ever my mind may be, where ever my desires might throw me: I'll always run back to the security, of his arms, with this new found love.
Status: Finished!
Part: 1/1
A/N: This idea for a broken heart always finding himself, familiarizing himself with another subconsciously--was inspired by fake desires. ;~; The entire idea to what led to the heartbreak, all created by muah!~ But in general, everyone's been through rocky relationships one time or another. If you wre like me and was used ect., you, Ruki and I share hurt. >; But fret not~For all the times I was treated lower than shit, I could always rely on a friend Matt--no one I have feelings for. >_>; Like I said, the idea of Ruki finding love not in an ex, tis all make believe. Ruki-kun just finds comfort in a one, that has been always there~(>www<) Credit to Rosetta Stone German(and Google), for helping me accurately write/speak German~Also, I give my thanks to my insomnia and freakin` ambitious, for not letting me sleep while writing the RD. And last, to the GazettE--for changing my like--Ruki for always saying the right words for any mood, and Rei, Aoi, Uru and Kai for contributing to the music(which has inspired me greatly). :] Now, onto the fan fic~♥
Rennt hier mit Liebe
-
Run here with Love
+++++Ruki's POV +++++
To be completely honest: I'm not sure when I started entangling my school-work with puppy love; nor was I aware of the heartbreak, that came with every inevitable high school relationship break-up. Mentally I wasn't prepared for the ultimate feeling, of being alone and hurt--well, I have experienced the whiplash, but this time was different.
This was the fifth time, I was in the same predicament, and that bitter-sweet pain really started to sink in. Like a wilderbeast taking its time, feasting upon me: I tried to my best ability to be 'strong' and a 'hard-ass': I tried to be tough and endure the pain, and be prepared to see the permanent scars resulting of the tragic day.
But it seemed every time I let the wound air-dry I'd find another to care for it and kiss it all better. But just my luck, and they partake in another biting, stabbing, ripping off scabs, anything that inflicted emotional and mental pain. So I should have stayed away from the generic 'two week', high school relationship, and look deeper into their soul before falling ever-so quickly, with the alertness and awareness of a sleep-walker.
Stupid stupid STUPID Ru, because once again I fell for another. For some reason, I was so quick to forgiving, and over-looked my history--somehow I actually thought I'd find someone worth holding onto.
If only that person had the same intentions.
"Ruki, did you hear me?"
I had to mentally shake myself awake, and hope I wouldn't retaliate with a harsh, sarcastic question. Re-arranging my facial expression, to seem more concerned than hurt, I focused my attention of her averted eyes.
Her eyes cold, deprived of sincerity or true sympathy.
"Y-Yeah, I did. Can I ask why?"
She kept her attention on our entwined fingers, and slowly started loosening her grip. "I just have too much going on, I'm not saying I don't like you anymore..."'
Of course it does, because if you truly liked me: we'd be able to make it work. If you truly cared for me, the way I did--you wouldn't jump to such a brutal conclusion...would you? My eyes full of confusion and obvious hurt, looked at our surroundings: school just ended, and the students were starting to departure. Other couples walked by, sensing the upcoming hostility from our conversation. Hell, I'd like to be in their shoes, because those were the couples that were together, since grade nine. Here I am, grade twelve student, originally walking his girlfriend home--and dreading the simple two words, that determined our destiny.
"Ruki, it's just I'm getting stressed, with family and friends. I'll be sure to get over it, and maybe then we can go out again! It's just...I..."'
By this time, her hands and mines were free from embracing, and I could already fell the sharp pain of regret, prickling at me.
"Ruki, we're over."'
Her eyes intently studied mines, waiting and searching for anger so that alone, would give her the permission to leave without a farewell. Instead, I had already collected my sanity by then, and I stared back into her honestly, unconcerned eyes. "Okay, I understand. I guess I'll just..." My mouth remained opened, as I attempted to finish one simple sentence. But that was the problem, mentally I was drawing a blank, unsure of what to say and what not to say. I couldn't say I'll see her later, because this break-up was definitely the end of us, period. That was the end, and I'm stuck with this heavy burden, within my heart and to be honest: it's becoming difficult to hide. Before these familiar tears could physically pry it's way out, I shook my head and casually chuckled. "I'll just uhm,"
Waiting patiently for my half-witted response, our attention was redirected to the sky about us. The sorrow filled, darken skies which groaned heavily, as a slow applaud of thunder stirred the atmosphere. And just as I was going, to continue my sentence---rain quickly came down, to encourage the mood.
How ever so convenient, ne?
Students from around us started hollering, as they felt the pellets of rain land on them. They started scattering, and searching for temporal safety with their friends, or significant other.
"Ah crap."' Coming along with her complaint, she shielded her head with several binders, and started walking away. "Sorry Ru, I better get going, see you whenever."'
The last thing I remembered seeing from her was, her back turned, as she skipped quickly to her destination. By now, less and less people passed by, and eventually I was the only one standing alone, still trying to get these good-for-nothing legs to work. Then again, i didn't want to run and slip. So maybe waiting for the rain to subside was a good good idea.
At-least that's what I told myself, that was the lame excuse for why I didn't start walking home yet. But I knew inside, I was torn apart and, just frustrated with my pathetic self. I knew I was completely incapable of keeping anyone, and I was such a loser no one would want me, ever. If she didn't want me, who the hell in their right mind would?
At this point, the pain inside, the hurt, everything started to leak out, and I could feel myself weakening.
The rain continued to come down, more violent than before--so I allowed myself to cry. I allowed myself to show the most venerable side to the public; I allowed myself to prepare, for the teasing and taunting that would attack me within a week. When everyone finds out how big of a whiny, and clingy person I am--they will. But I know I deserve it, because I'm always setting myself for another heartbreak anyways.
Dragging myself and school materials, to the city bus, I still allowed my fears to free fall. By now, I was soaked from head to toe, binders, textbooks, everything was ruined, drenched in rain. My hair flatten, my gakuran sticking closely to my body, I wasn't even sure if the money, I had for the ride home would even survive.
But regardless about how heavy the rain became, or how strongly the squalls blew--my soul and mentality was only tainted, by how weak I truly was.
+++++ +++++
"Jesus Christ, everyone makes a big deal about the rain..." A blondish brunette commented, holding his remedial mathematics textbook over his head, his other free hand dug in his pockets. "Weee~look at me! Hollerin' like a psycho, because water is falling from the sky!" A raven haired, lip pierced friend of his, began snickering starting his own over-exaggeration. "Uru, it's a real shame that rain doesn't dry, so let me cry about how wet my hair is~" The two both laughed hardy, as they and two others walked off campus. "Sorry to damper that, but I seriously would be royally pissed, if my hair got soaked." A bleach blond teen corrected, winking at the others while reaching for his cell phone.
"What about you Kai-kun?" Aoi innocently asked, nudging his buddy in his ribs. "Eh~rain drys--so I'd be okay!" The other raven haired teen stated, flashing his adorable dimples and toothy grin. Both Uruha and Aoi awed in unison, as Kai displayed his infamous smile.
"Ah shit." Reita stopped dead in his tracks, as he sucked his teeth, re-reading his new text message. "What happened?" Uruha asked, half interested as he continued walking.
"I've gotta jet home, and unlock the door for my onee-san: she came home early today so--see you guys later." With a quick wave, Reita was out of their sight, and closer to his home than any of the guys progressed. The three remaining guys all said, their own farewells and walked closer to each-other. "And then was three!" Stated Kai, as he carefully skipped ahead. "Well, there was four, until Ru decided to go with his girlfriend." Aoi added his face showing blunt annoyance, for the short one's new love. "God~she's real cute!" Uruha purred, skipping with with Kai as well. "Yeah, maybe--but I heard her lust for guys isn't. People around the school, says she's been out 'riding' on more than enough guys." Kai gossiped, turning around and speaking softly. The gang carried on a different conversation, until they passed by a couple that was showing aggressive PDA.
"ew~" Uruha mouthed, while checking out both the guy and girl, for recognition, Aoi just maturly ignored it, holding in his outburst for lecturing at the couple for their bluntness. Kai studied the girl, not lustfully but only to wonder if he seen her before. The girl viciously wrapped her legs around her partner, her arms moving to hug her boyfriend's neck.
"oh no..." Muttered Kai, his eyes spotting the mysterious girl's wrist, gut dropping in utter sympathy for the shorter friend. After the couple moved their love-making session else where and out of sight, Kai forcefully tugged on both Uruha and Aoi's sleeve.
"Guys, we got a huge problem."
"What Kai, you hard now? Ask Aoi to help you~" Teased Uruha, which automatically got a smack from Aoi. "Douche." He marked, a perverted grin taking over his lips. Kai held the two back, and his ton harden. "Guys." The two gave their laughter an abrupt stop, as they searched Kai's face for a hint of playfulness.
"That girl back there, is Ruki's girlfriend."
+++++ +++++
The rain finally lighten, just as soon as I reached my room. Pretty funny how timing can be, isn't it?
Well, of course I'm being sarcastic with you! Do you honestly think I'm up for a freakin' joke?
Forcefully throwing my textbook and other shit, into some random corner of my room: I stripped out of my clothes, and put my pajamas on then I turned my stereo on, to some random metal station; the genre fit my mood perfectly--so I really didn't care who was playing. Viciously ripping all of the pieces of paper, which held future plans or notes, with my ex: I threw them overhead like confetti. Maybe this whole thing marked the beginning of something new.
Or maybe I'm just completely shitting myself.
Continuing to dig through our useless memorabilia, I stumbled some pictures of us.
Well, that's all in the past now, isn't it?
At this point, my tears of hurt from earlier now transformed into pure rage. It was typical for me, to have uncontrollable mood-swings--I think it would be for anyone. Finally, I seemed to have gotten rid, of anything related to that good-for-nothing whore. Now, I probably have a gist on what you're thinking, and yes: it is wrong for me, to call her that. However I'm not stupid enough, to not suspect anything.
Besides, it would be a hell of a lot easier, if I blamed it on her. I mean, I'm not all that pathetic right? At this point, all I really need is a boost in my self-esteem--or at-least to know my ex was telling the truth.
Maybe she still does like me.
"Heh~or maybe I'm ultimately kidding myself." Mumbling out loud as I stomped around my room, the low bass from my stereo shaking the air at this point. Pacing back and forth, I could feel the growing tension, in both of my fists--but sadly, I had nothing to take out on.
Or perhaps I'm not being observant enough.
Slowly turning around, my eyes quickly spotted a blank wall that was nearly begging, for me to give it some new decoration. Picking up my remote for the stereo, I turned the volume high enough to block even my cries, for what I was about to do. Curling my trembling fist in preparation, I could feel the intense pain of my fingernails digging deep, into the palm of my good hand. I knew this would only cause nor pain, but at this moment: I only cared for distracting myself, with another type of discomfort.
Even if it resulted to self-mutilation.
With one swift movement, I felt my knuckles impacted forcefully on the white wall. A ripple of intense pain shot through my body, my right fist more shaky than before. Biting deep into my lower lip, I held in the piercing shriek that reacted, to my wonderful idea. Examining my quivering hand, I spot black and blue bruises that formed on my knuckles conveniently.
That wasn't enough.
Gathering my composure, I swung at the wall again with the same fist. Over, and over and over again; and with each punch I felt the blows coming back to bite me. Each blow weakening because somehow, I was aware on how incredibly painful blowing my anger I felt. But it was the good type of pain.
And I liked it.
Using my other unharmed hand, it held my trembling wrist in place, and I finally saw the brutally I inflicted on myself. My hand almost ear total disfigurement, black and blue all over, tainted with a bit of my maroon blood, that I casually ran down the crevice of my numb knuckles. It gathered on the tip of my fingertips, and I swiftly brushed it off, on the side of my pajamas pants. It wasn't long afterward that I spotted spots of blood, that tarnished my innocent wall.
Part of me felt, as if I washed away the poison that ran through my body. But I had just proved to myself I wasn't weak: I'm stronger than I thought.
All this time I underestimated myself.
Slugging my body over to the light switch, I turned off the light so I wouldn't remind myself, how badly I disfigured my hands. Truth be told, I had to clean off the trickling blood, I couldn't stand the feeling of my own body liquid tainting anything else. After properly caring for a nearly broken hand, I collapsed back onto my bed---eyes propped on my ceiling.
When I was younger, I remember putting up these glow-in-the-dark stars. Because the part of me loved laying under the velvet sky, staring blankly into the cosmos. But since I wasn't allowed out that late, my family had to mimic that soothing feeling. So they stuck them all over my ceiling--and I know real stars aren't perfect five shape figures, nor are they neon green: but it was the closest thing I had, without having to lose everything, just to bunk outside.
Whenever Reita could, me and him would always sneak out during the dead of night, and somehow---we'd find a place dark enough to see the moon and lost stars. He was there for me, always there, but somehow I got the brilliant idea, to blow him off for a whore: nice going Ru. Flipping my body over to face the closest wall, I gently traced the uneven surface with my bad hand. And suddenly, I felt alone again.
It felt not only the pain of my throbbing fist, but how alone I've been since I was with my girlfriend. How long has it been, since I hung out with Reita? When's the last time, me and him sincerely talked about anything?
Suddenly I recognized this pain, it was heartbreak, but not because of my ex, but of how distant I was growing with my friend. Although I've only known him for two years, he was one of the only people I could feel safe with. There always safety in his word, and I could honestly feel just fine with him.
Ripping my eyes free from rolling tears, I thew my blanket over my body, and my memories quickly replayed, all the moments I shared with him. Always laughter, playfulness---never hurt, of course I could feel so blessed, to be around such a protective and supportive guy. Reita was honestly, the only one who made me sincerely serene. My watery eyes opened, and I longed to be in his arms. I longed to have him comfort me; if only I could have found one, to love me the same way Reita does.
Maybe that was all I was searching for in a person. I all I wanted was simple generosity, honest kindness, lovable humor, sweet warmth and a gentle spirit.
But maybe I was searching in the wrong place.
But maybe...maybe it was Reita this whole time.
+++++ +++++
"Where the hell is Reita at?" Uruha growled, his eyes scanning the lunch-room, for his blond late friend.
"I don't know, but he better get here quick." Added Aoi, as he took a small bite out of his cornbread. Shortly after, kai texted Reita to come to the lunch-room ASAP. But still no response.
"I just can't believe that Ru's girlfriend, would do something that trashy. What a whore!" Uruha spat, fixing his narrowed eyes on her, from across the lunch-room. "I can't believe I thought, she was cute..."
"I don't think anyone saw it coming Uru. It was just, quick and unexpected..." Aoi responded in a soft and pitiful voice. "But it does take two, to make a relationship work."
"Too bad for Ruki. He really liked her a lot, but they barely talk to each-other. I mean, with her and her AP classes, and extra curricular activities--when did they have the time for each-other?" Kai added, slipping his phone into his pocket.
"Gah, I hate when you, and Aoi are right. I was really looking forward to kicking someone's ass though." Muttered Uruha, his sharp chin resting in his palm. "Hell, I'd do anything for Ruki."
"Speaking of Ruki, where is he today?" Aoi asked full of concern, head snapping in all directions.
"My guess? Maybe at home skipping." Kai stated, reaching for his pocket to see if Reita responded.
"Goddamn it! Where is that punk bitch at?" Hollered Uruha, as he forcefully slammed his fists, against the table. "My patience is thinning." And just on cue, the blond headed friend of theirs entered the lunch-room, searching for his own friends--his face surprisingly full of annoyance.
"REITA~AA!" Aoi screeched, waving both his arms over head. Reita soon spotted the loud raven-haired friend, and stomped over with his textbooks. "FINALLY~" The three sighed, attempting to decode Rei's "screw off" face.
"Why the hell did you guys text me non-stop?! I was in the middle of taking notes, for my history class!"
Rolling his dark brown eyes, Uruha crossed his arms and out stared Reita. "Are you telling me, school-work is more important than Ruki?" The blond's face lighten, eyes widen at the possible bad news that he was going to hear about his best-friend. "Of course not! What happened? Is he okay?"
"He's fine--it's about his relationship with his girlfriend." Aoi informed, pulling Reita down to sitvwith the rest of the gang.
"We saw that whore with another guy, doing some pretty lewd shit in public."
The shock from hearing the news, about Ruki's girlfriend betrayal, shocked Reita beyond words. Clenched fists at his sides, he slowly asked more about the situation. "W-What? When did this happen?"
"Yesterday," Kai answered, slowly backing away from the angered teen. "it's odd actually, because we saw her with another guy, as soon as you left." Reita's eyes rapidly shot at Ruki's partner, who was standing up and walking away from her table.
"I can't believe this would happen. Ruki is head over heels for this girl."
"Well unfortunately, she didn't seem to feel the same." Kai added, sympathy growing in his answers. Reita's eyes dropped to view his feet, and he tried to gather his mind, to get to the bottom of this infidelity. "Who?"
"Eh?" The three asked together, leaning closer.
"Who is it, that Ru's girlfriend was cheating with?" He viciously questioned between clenched teeth.
"None of us know Rei, his back was facing us." Uruha reassured, glancing behind him to see the whore herself giggling innocently, and walking by with a group of girls.
"...well what can I say? I couldn't help myself!"'
Fixing his eyes on the other three, who continued their verbal investigation on the main enemy: Uruha tuned into the passing, gossiping teen.
"Kyah~I can't believe you did that! Naughty girl~What about Ruki?"'
Rising an eyebrow, Uruha casually leaned back, expecting to hear the worst.
"Well I dumped him~But Sasaki Daisuke was totally worth it. He's not just good at playing soccer, if you catch my drift~" The group of teens worked their way out of the cafeteria, Uruha's face showing blunt anger.
"Rei, the dude is Sasaki Daisuke." Attentions quickly directed at the blonde's immediete reaction.
Pure rage, was the only thing that consumed his face. Eyes narrowed and with one swift movement, he was heading for the exit. The others exchanged frighten looks, and followed him as well. "Reita, think about what you're about to do!" Kai warned, attempting to keep up with the tempered Reita.
"Who the hell, does he think he is? Screwing around with my best-friend's girlfriend?!" Slamming the doors open, he quickly stomped down the hallway, reaching closer to confront the deceiver. "REITA, BRO CHILL! WAIT UP!" Shouted Aoi, as he dragged Uruha with him.
"Who the hell is he tricking? Definitely not me--and to think I was friends with him?" By each growing second, every turn on every corner only fed into his hatred of anticipation. If there was one thing Reita hated more, it was waiting to give someone a taste of their own medicine. "I can't wait, to confort this lying son-of-a-bitch." Pushing through a crowd of other graders, there was a murmur, and predictions of a fight from how clearly upset Reita was becoming.
"Mother of God Rei: slow the hell down, wheels!" Complained Aoi as he continued to drag Uruha, Kai doing a decent job of catching up. Piercing and clouded eyes quickly spotted Daisuke at his locker, his girlfriend near approaching him. The target of Reita's rage, faced the opposite direction, standing not that far from his open locker. Daisuke's girlfriend spotting the approaching group, her large smile immediately collapsed, eyes full of fear: she was aware of what was going to happen because of her. The group stopped, crossing their arms and staring at the cause of the anticipated brawl. Uruha slowly mouthed "Shits about to go down whore. Your boyfriend isn't safe, at all."
Fear quickly washed over her face, and she reached out to grab Daisuke's arm. But before she could warn Daisuke, Reita fimrly slammed his locker, doing that solely for his immediate attention. By the time Daisuke turned to confort Reita, a crowd was already starting to gather around the two. "Oh, hey Rei! What's up buddy?" Holding his hand up for a high five, his eyes met Reita's automatically sensed hostility. Reita's eyes fixed on his prey, as he attempted to calm his frayed nerves, clenched fists and boiling blood stating other intentions.
"What's going----"
"You think you're some slick son-of-a-bitch, don't you Daisuke?"
"Excuse me?" He harshly asked, laying one arm on his closed locker.
"You wanna ask that more polietly?"
"To hell with kindness Daisuke! How the hell could you steal her, from Ruki?"
A sarcastic chuckle resulted from Reita's question; Daisuke's eyes darting from his current girlfriend, to the guys standing behind Reita. "So that's who she was with. I never really cared enough to ask, or give a crap."
"Of course you don't Daisuke. She's Miss. I'm-too-big-of-a-whore-to-keep-my-legs-crossed, and you're Mr. I'll-screw-anything-that-moves-in-a-skirt. All you two care about is getting laid." Uruha brutally informed, receiving an 'oh' from the growing crowd.
"Stay the hell out of this, you homo." Daisuke retaliated.
"What the--you know what? I'm going to let Reita handle you. I'm not going to lie, I really want to see your shit handed to you~" With a devilish smirk, Uruha stepped back, arms still crossed. "Have fun losing Dai!" He added lastly, before preparing for the fight of the year.
Daisuke fixed his eyes on Retia, and studied him intently--not sure what to expect. "Well, shouldn't you get going?"
"Excuse me? I came down here, to ask why you stole Ru's girl!"
"Oh, c'mon. We're guys~that's what we do! When we see a girl we like, we go after 'em."
"Aha, maybe perverted and shallow guys like you. But guys like me: we stay loyal to our friends."
"Psh, don't you mean to your boyfriend?"
"What?"
"I know how you really feel about Ruki. Everyone here knows about your gay love for him, and your faggot ass."
"Shut your freakin' mouth."
"Well, grow balls and admit how big of a queer you are Rei!" Turning to face the spectators , Daisuke smiled in pure vengeance. "Did you guys know Reita here, happens to be a flaming homo?" The crowd exchanged disbelief filled looks, and a ripple of laughter erupted.
"oh no." Kai whispered under his breath, biting his lower lip. Both Uruha and Aoi glanced at each-other, only hoping Reita's next move wasn't something he'd regret. "Reita, kick his sorry good-for-nothing ass!" Encouraged Aoi as he thew his fist into the air.
"Yeah Reita---" Daisuke started. "Kick my sorry ass."
Carefully reconsidering his next moves, Reita kept his eyes glued on his enemy. Daisuke flashing his cocky grin, thinking that Reita would remain still. "Heh~that's what I though. You know Reita, you can't protect your boyfriend from getting hurt. If a guy sees someone he wants; he's going to do what he can to get her: it's the universal truth. However, if your Ruki friend gets in the way--you think guys will consider his feelings?" Leaning towards Reita, Daisuke spoke in a low tone, cocking one eyebrow to display his devious thoughts. "Everyone knows you protect him, because you two share a faggot love for each-other. So why don't you grow balls, and admit you love him, if not don't be a whiny baby about life, okay?" Backing away, the two still kept each-other in their gaze, Daisuke beginning to walk away with his girlfriend.
"Seriously Reita? If you're going to confront someone, like the way you did earlier: actually do something about it. You're all shit talk, and no fight." The crowd patiently anticipated a punch to be swung, kicking, more name-calling--but Reita gathered enough sanity, to not mindlessly beat the living day lights out of Daisuke. Instead, Reita had a different way to carry out the planned fight.
"After school. You and I, in the parking-lot."
"Ohh, you actually wanna do this, eh?"
It was Reita's turn to smirk, as he mocked Daisuke's action by leaning in, and speaking softly--but loud enough, for the crowd to hear. "Truth be told: I'm dying to kick your sorry ass. Hell, everyone is: you're just that hateable. The only reason why you stole Ru's girl from him, is because you only got looks going for you. But that'll be the end of it, when I take care of you."
Ohs and aws erupted from the crowd, as they prepared for Daisuke's comeback. Now, everyone was pumped up for the after-school fight.
"Prepare to eat that later." Forcefully shoving Reita, Daisuke's girlfriend gripped onto his arm, to pull him back if Rei retaliated. "See you after-school, Suzuki." Soon after, the lunch bell rang and the crowd dispersed, all gossiping about the upcoming brawl--and awing in utter disappointment, for what didn't happen. Still, the by-standers that passed the two, kept their eyes glued mindlessly on them--just waiting patiently, if any of them had a change of mind. Now, there was only Reita and Daisuke watching the other, the gang and the un-loyal girlfriend nudging the two, from the mental taunting.
"Daisuke, I'll kick your sorry ass, and when I'm finished: I'll be sure to let the guys here, kick you while you're down. You're ass is grass, Sasaki." Swiftly turning to walk away, he heard both his hatred enemy, and his girlfriend laugh in complete skepticism, their voices beginning to decrescendo, as they walked their path to class. As the gang continued down the hall, Uruha and Kai kept their grip on Reita, for Daisuke's sake.
"That was heated." Was all Aoi could say, after a silent four minute cooling-down walk. "I'm sure Ruki will really appreciate what you're doing."
Just the mention of his friend's name, was enough to soften up Reita's current mood. His head lowering, and he forcefully tugged away from his friend's grasp. "I just couldn't stand the thought, of him being played. He means a lot to me."
"We know Reita, I think he means more to you than anyone here. Which is why, you need to tell him the truth...about everything." Suggested the more innocent member of the gang. Kai kept himself within Reita's gaze, only to read his true ulterior motives. "Besides, he'll believe you, since you two are the closest."
"B-But, I wouldn't be able to...I mean, he's so in-love with her: I could never break news like that to him." Eyes suddenly full of panic, for Ruki's reaction towards the shocking secret. "I just...wouldn't have the heart to hurt him."
"But you're the only one, who could do it in the most sympathetic way Rei. You have a way of words,a nd cheering him up--plus, you'll find a way to comfort him, like before! You've been able to do this before, remember?"
"Yeah, but this has got to be the worst though. It's just, I couldn't stand there, and bear see his pain when I tell him the news. I would just feel hurt, and useless when he's heartbroken."
"Bullshit." Aoi bluntly stated, receiving appauling looks from all the other guys. "Don't you dare say that: you do a hell of a good job, making Ruki feel worth something. You always manage to make it seem that things will get better, in the long run. Ruki appreciates everything you do for him, he admires your honesty. So don't you dare say you're 'useless'. No one, and I really do mean no one would have stuck up for Ruki, the way you did."
A sudden blush flushed his face, Reita redirecting his head else-where.
"It's because Daisuke disrespected Ruki."
"Are you sure, it's not because you truly love him, and couldn't stand the thought of the one you care for, being used again?" The others expected a quick-witted reply, but instead stood there in silence. Uruha and Kai exchanged baffled looks, it mostly containing widen eyes. Aoi on the other hands, continued his interrogation in Reita's true feelings. "If you can honestly stand here, and tell me you have only 'friendly' feelings about him: than you really have been bullshitting us, and his trust."
Reita's face now clearly embarrassed, came back with only incoherent stuttering.
"I just...we're..."
"Bullshitting his trust, Reita." Aoi reminded once more, watching Reita surrendering while slamming his forehead into a near-by locker. "I really am that pathetic, aren't I? I mean, this entire time I laid off, and respected him--telling myself it's perfectly normal, to have thoughts of only your best-friend. Not once, did it occur to me, that I might just really feel more for Ruki; and now, he's going to become heart-broken, and I'll be the babbling in denial, lovestruck idiot. Why didn't I notice this earlier?"
"You just answered it dummy: you respected him as a friend. The only thing worse to you, besides being turned down by him--is the mere thought of losing him as a friend, due to your selfishness."
A loud and confused sigh was followed with Aoi's explanation, as he began slamming his confused mind into a locker. "Is all hope lost?"
"Of course not Rei: everyone here hardly thinks Ruki doesn't like you the same way."
Lifting his head from the slightly dented locker, Reita's eyes was once again full of enthusiasm. "You think so?"
As a response, the guys nodded simultaneously, grinning in Reita's sudden mood change. Uruha stepped forward, placing his hand on his shoulder, and began his pep-talk.
"So, who is going to kick Daisuke's sorry, fake ass after school?"
"I will!"
"Who is going to make him eat grass, and show him to never drag his punk ass around us again?"
"I WILL!"
Out of pure excitement and happiness, for Reita's new found confidence, Uruha finished off with one more reminder.
"Reita, I have the up-most belief in you. Now that you can say all that with pride: put that same mind-set toward your confession."
"Mhm! I promise I will!"
"Good, now get your smart-ass to class----and kill that Daisuke punk when you see him."
+++++ +++++
The entire night after realizing my intimate feelings for Reita, my mind was troubling me with temptation to expose how I honestly felt. I wanted to let Reita know how I felt, because it only seemed appropriate.
But then there was, the tiny fear of getting hurt.
Again.
I knew there was a huge a chance, Reita wouldn't have feelings remotely close to mines--let it be emotional or physical. But then again, it was Reita I had fell for, for God's sakes!
Knowing him, he wold never do anything to hurt me intentionally--like others--or shoot me down, in a heartless manner. But on the other hand, If I didn't confess: I'd have to live on, seeing the love of my life being taken away from me. Or worse, he'd be played and treated like I have.
So if I told him the truth, he wouldn't like me back, and if I didn't tell him: I would watch him fall in-love,for someone else. Basically I still lose--and I'm in an unrequited love situation. After debating mentally, about this whole topic: I didn't get any sleep, surprising isn't it? That alone caused me to sleep in late, and not only that but now my mother was worried about my mental state. After she saw my hand, and heard my lame excuse for it: she kept me inside, and kept a keen eye for me. Unfortunately for her, my father and her had to attend a dinner party, for a business related reasons.
Luckily for me, this meant I could take a stroll through the park to clear my mind. After being prisoner in my room, for a good two days, it was about time to take a breather. Finding a near-by bench to relax on, I stretched to waken my muscles, slouching in this comfortable seat. The park itself was in-animated, silent and empty. I had to wait for the perfect opportunity, to escape when my parents left. First to avoid seeing anyone I knew here, and second, to avoid my parents over-bearing love. Sprawling my arms and legs all over the bench, my eyes naturally trailed its way to see the beautiful stars. The midnight black sky, colored with white stars varying in size--the sound of nature in the background strangely mesmerizing. A couple of ominous clouds, gathering here and there--but over-all, this particular night was calm, and time just seemed to fly by.
But there was something missing here.
And I already knew the answer, I mean after-all: Rei and I would sneak out, just to doze off int his park together. This is where, our friendship would strengthen, quality time was spent, and the moments when I was aware, that he was the one. This park held a lot of memories, and every time I'd pass by it--I'd always incorporate it with Reita. This park acted as our haven, our secret hide-out, our home. Thinking about this whole thing, reminded me about this one reassuring set of words Reita would always state.
Whenever I felt scared, hated, unwanted: Reita constantly reminded me that he was someone, I could always talk to. He was the shoulder I could cry on, and wouldn't be judged for whatever led me to do so. He also said that: if I ever felt unloved, if I ever doubted the importance of myself I could always find a home in his arms. It was always easy to find security and comfort, all in one place. I could always run into his arms, never failing to receive love.
Question is: where is my friend at now?
+++++ +++++
Reita was unsure if now would be a good time to sneak out--by now Japan was already experiencing signs of an upcoming rain, and not to mention it was getting real late. Reita's older sister--who was his guardian--was sound asleep, but there was a chance, she might come to check up on him. Originally Reita was going to visit Ruki, when the sun was still visible. But he got a tad bit caught up, in the after-school fight.
Which he won in no time flat.
But of course, his visit to his best-friend was not to celebrate his victory--but to proclaim his true feelings. Truth be told, Reita did highly consider chickening out last minuted, or to even use the 'I got caught sneaking out' excuse. But everyone knew Rei's sister was too kind to not let her younger brother off the hook, for this particular reason. And indeed, it was a last minute decision to visit him especially at this time.
But Reita couldn't go to sleep, and hopefully with his luck: Ru couldn't either. His legs swiftly ran him over sidewalks, through empty parking lots and importantly avoiding cops--because nothing seemed more suspicious, than a young adult running from nothing. These were the moments, when his anxiety started getting the better of him, Reita could feel his body quivering, heart thumping to point where he could hear it. Hands drenched in sweat, as his eyes spotted the darken room and slightly cracked window or Ruki's.
For Reita, it was too late to back out. Breathing a couple of deep breaths, his fingers wiggled between the empty space of the window, and quietly pulled it up slightly. "Ruki~" He listened intently for a response, as he continued to completely open the window, letting himself in. It was pretty typical for Ruki to sleep heavily, while having the window slightly open. A days when Reita was up for sneaking out, he'd always find himself passing out in Ruki's room--instead of going else where.
"Ru-chan!" He whispered loudly, tip toeing his way over to Ruki's bed. "Buddy are you awake?" Gently shoving the body under the bed sheets, Reita was in for disappointment when he found Ruki had sneaked out himself. "Great..." He muttered in a let-down, before getting himself to sit on the pillows disguised as Ruki's body. Resting his arms onto his sluggish knees, Reita turned on the lamps standing on a night-stand and near Ruki's empty bed.
"Well, looks like I just wasted fifth-teen minutes of running."
Sighing passively, his right hand clumsily stumbled all over the stand, to blindly turn off the lamp. But to his surprise, his hand caught a hold of something else, that lied close to the lamp's switch. "Nan de--" Leaning closely to the light source, his eyes adjusted to what he held.
And it wasn't long after-ward, that the object brought a grin to his face. It was a picture of both him and Ruki, shoulder around shoulder, both having a blunt---yet natural smile on their faces. And suddenly, Reita remembered the exact day when the photo was taken. Ruki was excited that the two grown close, so to capture the moment: Ruki himself took the picture, from an odd angle. At that thought, Reita's grin slowly disintegrated, that same pain and burden forming from the inside. Running his index finger over Ruki's face, he felt even more disappointment take control. But then..."Eh~?" Bringing the picture a bit closer to his eyes, he tilted the picture to view it with better light..Focusing into the background, Reita spotted a bench, an aging tree, and a walk-way.
Suddenly, he knew where Ruki had gone to. Placing the picture back onto the stand, and fixing up the decoy: Reita climbed out of the room, pulling the window back to its original spot.
+++++ +++++
Pulling his eye-lids apart, Ruki yawned loudly, adjusting his body in a sitting position. Without complete awareness, Ruki dozed off into a nap--which lasted for a good twenty minutes. Still feeling fatigued, Ruki rested his chin in his hands which were propped on his knees. Focusing his eyes onto the blank walk-way, that was barely a feet from him--he noticed little pellets of rain dropping onto it. Raising his head above, he saw the clouds from over-head, forming together to start another shower. Although it was getting late, the moon that hung casually above still shined, with the strength--but not intensely of fluorescent light bulbs.
Out of pure boredom, Ruki gently ran his fingers over his bounded hand. His hand which wasn't hurting as bad, but still disfigured and in the process of healing. Gingerly kissing his knuckles, he laid his right hand by his side, and patiently waited for the rain to lighten up.
"Ruki?"
Eyes snapping open, the startled Ruki quickly turned, eyes catching his slightly damp friend. His breath hitching in the middle of his throat, Ruki snapped himself out of the sudden shock. "R-Reita! What are you doing here?"
A nervous chuckle came with his response, as Reita walked around the bench, to sit down with Ruki. "I wanted to talk: I've missed you a ton."
Feeling an immediate blush wash over his face, Ruki averted eye contact with his love, conjuring up a reply to Reita's answer. "I-I've been missing you too..." Fragile brushing his bangs aside with his bad hand, Reita's eyes caught a hold of it and gently took into his hands. "Ruki, what happened here?"
"Oh, uh--I got unto a fight with my wall." He bluntly answered, currently feeling more embarrassed, than nervous. As a result, Reita giggled, petting it soothingly. "Nan de Ru? You're such a dork!"
Ruki couldn't help but laugh as well, pushing his friend with his good hand. "Baka! You're one to talk--what about the bruise on your forehead?"
"Eh? Oh, this thing. Aha, I got into a fight with a locker."
"Ahehe~Aw, Reita--I'm sorry the locker won!" The two continued laughing, teasing each-other like old times--before Ruki became committed before Ruki's girlfriend came into the picture.
The girlfriend.
At the realization, Reita's laughter bluntly ended as he nervously fumbled his fingers together. Ruki sensing something troubling him, he scooted himself closer to Reita, lowering his head to his.
"Reita-kun, what's wrong?"
Reita's troubled eyes met Ruki's, as he adjusted himself more comfortable. "It's about....your girlfriend."
Raising an eye-brow to the upcoming conversation, Ruki felt himself becoming a tad bit jealous. Why was Reita mentioning her? Could it be, he had already found his love?
"W-What?"
Pulling himself to face Ruki courageously, he took those few silent moments thinking of an upcoming gentle way, to tell him the news. "Remember Reita, you're here to comfort him. You've got to tell him the truth!"' Taking one final breath, Reita's hand nervously stumbled his hands to hold Ruki's. "This isn't easy for me to tell you this but..." "C'mon Reita! Do this for Ruki!"'
"T-The guys...they saw your girl-friend with another dude."
"EH? When was this?" Ruki questioned, Reita--on the other hand, slightly pulled back, confused on how lacking Ruki was in anger.
"Yesterday."
"Was this before it started raining, or after?"
"Uh...after, but why---" To that reassurance, Ruki started laughing, placing one hand on Reita's shoulder. "Then we were already over."
Taken by surprise by the new news he heard, Reita studied Ruki's expression for any sudden change. "Wait, you guys already broke-up?"
"Truth be told, she dumped me. At first, she told me she had too much going on. But now, I know it was because of another guy." Ruki pulled himself together to show a fake smile, before lowering his head to cry freely. "I was just hoping it wasn't true."
"Ru..." Lost in words to soothe him with something appropriate, he watched his best-friend beat himself down, Ruki only hoping not to draw anymore sympathy to himself.
"Ruki, you know you deserve someone much better than her, right?"
"To be honest, I'd settle for anyone right about now At this rate, do you honestly think I'll find true love?" Locking eyes with Reita once more, Ruki waited patiently for a response--and began laughing. "Exactly."
"C'mon Reita, pull yourself together buddy."'
Wrapping one arm around his trembling friend, Reita brought him closer to his side, hoping his embrace would warm his heart. "I wasn't responding because I wasn't unsure: I wasn't responding because you would argue back!"
Ruki chuckled as a response, rubbing away any tears.
"But Ruki, you know there is somone who honestly and sincerly loves you. You may not even mean a lot to yourself, you may even think you don't mean anything to the world. But...to that special someone, you mean the world to them." Resting his chin lightly on Ruki's head, he hugged him tenderly feeling Ruki's tremble subside.
"So please...wipe those sad tears away, okay?"
With a weak nod, Ruki remained quiet--the two continuing to watch the rain come down. "Y'know it's weird, the day she broke up with me it was raining. Even before then, I've been deathly afraid of this type of weather. But it's raining now...and I feel okay."
Reita smiling gently, closed his eyes as he answered back. "Well, I'm glad I can make you feel better."
A blush rapidly engulfed his face, as Ruki felt sudden nervousness. "The way you embrace me, Reita do you do this with everyone?"
"Of course not silly: only you. And do you know why?" Pulling Ruki up, both their eyes met--Ruki's blush worsening.
"Because you mean the most to me."
A short gasp, followed Ruki's surprised expression, and he felt heart clenched, throbbing with this contageous nervousness. Ruki knew perfectly well what this feeling was--and there was no denying his emotions for his blond-haired friend. However, he could only hope Reita would feel the same.
"Why do you care for me so much?" After asking his question, Ruki could automatically sense Reita's immediate reaction. He was tense, clenched and didn't seem at ease--not one bit. Afraid of his love's next response to it, Ruki snapped his head in Reita's direction, only to find him bright thing stupid, Reita remained silent and mentally prepared himself for the biggest risk he was going to take. Ruki on the other hand, blinked completely clueless, eyes still focused on Reita.
"Rei, did you hear waht I asked?" And all he received was a quick nod, that vicrate blush, still taking up Reita's face.
"It's because....Well, I suppose this complicated but..."
At this point, Ruki wasn't sure what to expect nor was he anticipating anything heart warming.
"It's simple really--I...uh...." Lowering his hand, his mouth formed into a hard line as he strongly exhaled, in pure agitation at his lack in strength. Shortly after, his arms went around Ruki as he turned him around completely, face-to-face. "Ruki sometimes I can't explain why I do the things I do. Sometimes I just subconsciously over-protect you, or is always tell you how meaningful you are in my life. But let me remind you, I don't do this out of sympathy: I do it because you deserve it, and everything I say is completely 100% true, okay? You truly don't need someone like your ex in your life, so don't put yourself up for that. But if they're ever is one moment when you feel worthless: you can always run to me. You can always run into my arms, and I promise I'll give you all my love."
Ruki could feel those familiar tears coming back to him, and the same growing warmth slowly took over him, as he shed tears of utter happiness for having such an amazing person, in his life to comfort him. Wiping his running tears with his sleeves, Ruki's eyes locked with Reita's and his sniffling diminishing as Reita gently wiped rolling tears, with both his own trembling fingertips. The two both found themselves, day dreaming and staring lovingly at each other.
"Ruki I care for you so much, so it utterly broke my heart to find what she did and how she treated you. I would...I would never do that---ever."
Ruki nodded, tears continuing to streak down both cheeks, Reita still gently and carefully wiping it away.
"It's just I..." Leaning forward, Reita laid his forehead against Ruki's, tilting his head back to catch one last glimpse of Ruki. One hand softly trailed down his face to cup his chin, and he slowly brought Ruki's body closer.
"Ruki, I love you."
A small gasp hitched between his throat, eyes widening in complete amazement at the sudden confession--and Ruki felt gravity pulling the two closer, the space withering. Ruki felt a strong blush spread through his cheeks, butterflies forming in his stomach, his heart-beat on the verge of exploding.
But suddenly, Ruki's worries abruptly stopped as both their lips met in a kiss: Reita's soft and thin lips, gently pushing against Ruki's full ones. Both perfectly mended, as if it was destined to be completely compatible. Ruki could only imagine how heavenly, it felt to be kissing Reita. But no fantasy came close to the real thing. Eyes fluttering close, Ruki felt himself reacting back, pushing forward while tugging Reita's shirt down-wards. Feverish mouths entangled in a sweet kiss, Ruki softly running his tongue over Reita's closed lips, but before Ruki could mentally slap himself for such a forward move--Reita accepted him, and slowly open his warm mouth, tilting his head at a different angle, hands still cupped gently around Ruki's chin. Ruki did the same, savoring every precious moment spent indulging in his lover, nearly receiving chills down his spine for how it felt, having Reita's tongue mesmerizing dance along with his owns.
It was pure ecstasy for the two.
Pulling apart for a quick breather, Ruki quickly leaned his head against Reita's chest, hearing how hectic his heart-beats raced in that french kiss. Wrapping his still shakey arms around Reita's waist. Ruki breathlessly reassured--
"I love you too, Reita."
~
It's a pretty funny thing, what love can do to one's mentally: it can either make you, or break you. No joke, it's scary plunging into the unknown, your heart at risk to be brutally broken; and it seemed weather correlated with heart-break, so because of that--I always was terrified for what raining brought me. But tonight, the two of us--Reita and I, we still sat on the same bench embraced in each-other's arms, watching the rain pour.
The rain always had a funny way, of making me feel hopeless and alone...But suddenly, I don't have that fear anymore...
-
A/N: THANK LORD. YES. HELLZ YES--I FINISHED! *dancesraves* After nearly putting this one-shot off, for nearly two weeks: I finally had the right inspiration to finish it! =^__^= Tbh, it wasn't suppose to be this incredibly long, so I hope you forgive me! *sobs* Originally, I was suppose to have included the fight-scene---but this was growing lengthy! DX I also felt there might, have been a slight OOC issue with Ruki--b/c he doesn't seem like one to cry: then again, if you're only used in relationships, who wouldn't? x__x Truly♥ I adore the bromance between Rei & Ru, so I thought this pairing would fit this story perfectly~So, a couple thanks for the girl who screwed me over for another girl LULZ. That rant can be found here! And another TY to all who read this, til the very end--& my mentality, for not letting me give up(^ w ^);; O: Oh, another short note: currently working on a drabble following the mention of the AoiXKai from waaaay earlier. It will be called 'Angel's Deception' 8DD So watch out for that! Thanks for reading, comments are loved~
--x_k
⇓
Back to my archive.
Or maybe you want to read the sequel?
Author: x_keiosu
Fandom: Gazetto!
Pairing: ReitaXRuki(Reituki)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, High-school AU and Romance.
Rating: PG-13(At worst, sorry nothing graphic :p)
Warning: BxB love, teenage angst, awful fluff. Un-beta shizzle--Slight self-mutilation, strong language, AU & possible OOC behavior! o:
Disclaimer: I don't own Gazetto or PS Company: it's the opposite. ;3
Summary: This heavy pounding that beats, with my every breath--is this the result of a broken heart? Or perhaps the kind and gentle, warmth love Reita shows? Despite the true reason, I'll always feel safe within his embrace. Where ever my mind may be, where ever my desires might throw me: I'll always run back to the security, of his arms, with this new found love.
Status: Finished!
Part: 1/1
A/N: This idea for a broken heart always finding himself, familiarizing himself with another subconsciously--was inspired by fake desires. ;~; The entire idea to what led to the heartbreak, all created by muah!~ But in general, everyone's been through rocky relationships one time or another. If you wre like me and was used ect., you, Ruki and I share hurt. >; But fret not~For all the times I was treated lower than shit, I could always rely on a friend Matt--no one I have feelings for. >_>; Like I said, the idea of Ruki finding love not in an ex, tis all make believe. Ruki-kun just finds comfort in a one, that has been always there~(>www<) Credit to Rosetta Stone German(and Google), for helping me accurately write/speak German~Also, I give my thanks to my insomnia and freakin` ambitious, for not letting me sleep while writing the RD. And last, to the GazettE--for changing my like--Ruki for always saying the right words for any mood, and Rei, Aoi, Uru and Kai for contributing to the music(which has inspired me greatly). :] Now, onto the fan fic~♥
Rennt hier mit Liebe
-
Run here with Love
+++++Ruki's POV +++++
To be completely honest: I'm not sure when I started entangling my school-work with puppy love; nor was I aware of the heartbreak, that came with every inevitable high school relationship break-up. Mentally I wasn't prepared for the ultimate feeling, of being alone and hurt--well, I have experienced the whiplash, but this time was different.
This was the fifth time, I was in the same predicament, and that bitter-sweet pain really started to sink in. Like a wilderbeast taking its time, feasting upon me: I tried to my best ability to be 'strong' and a 'hard-ass': I tried to be tough and endure the pain, and be prepared to see the permanent scars resulting of the tragic day.
But it seemed every time I let the wound air-dry I'd find another to care for it and kiss it all better. But just my luck, and they partake in another biting, stabbing, ripping off scabs, anything that inflicted emotional and mental pain. So I should have stayed away from the generic 'two week', high school relationship, and look deeper into their soul before falling ever-so quickly, with the alertness and awareness of a sleep-walker.
Stupid stupid STUPID Ru, because once again I fell for another. For some reason, I was so quick to forgiving, and over-looked my history--somehow I actually thought I'd find someone worth holding onto.
If only that person had the same intentions.
"Ruki, did you hear me?"
I had to mentally shake myself awake, and hope I wouldn't retaliate with a harsh, sarcastic question. Re-arranging my facial expression, to seem more concerned than hurt, I focused my attention of her averted eyes.
Her eyes cold, deprived of sincerity or true sympathy.
"Y-Yeah, I did. Can I ask why?"
She kept her attention on our entwined fingers, and slowly started loosening her grip. "I just have too much going on, I'm not saying I don't like you anymore..."'
Of course it does, because if you truly liked me: we'd be able to make it work. If you truly cared for me, the way I did--you wouldn't jump to such a brutal conclusion...would you? My eyes full of confusion and obvious hurt, looked at our surroundings: school just ended, and the students were starting to departure. Other couples walked by, sensing the upcoming hostility from our conversation. Hell, I'd like to be in their shoes, because those were the couples that were together, since grade nine. Here I am, grade twelve student, originally walking his girlfriend home--and dreading the simple two words, that determined our destiny.
"Ruki, it's just I'm getting stressed, with family and friends. I'll be sure to get over it, and maybe then we can go out again! It's just...I..."'
By this time, her hands and mines were free from embracing, and I could already fell the sharp pain of regret, prickling at me.
"Ruki, we're over."'
Her eyes intently studied mines, waiting and searching for anger so that alone, would give her the permission to leave without a farewell. Instead, I had already collected my sanity by then, and I stared back into her honestly, unconcerned eyes. "Okay, I understand. I guess I'll just..." My mouth remained opened, as I attempted to finish one simple sentence. But that was the problem, mentally I was drawing a blank, unsure of what to say and what not to say. I couldn't say I'll see her later, because this break-up was definitely the end of us, period. That was the end, and I'm stuck with this heavy burden, within my heart and to be honest: it's becoming difficult to hide. Before these familiar tears could physically pry it's way out, I shook my head and casually chuckled. "I'll just uhm,"
Waiting patiently for my half-witted response, our attention was redirected to the sky about us. The sorrow filled, darken skies which groaned heavily, as a slow applaud of thunder stirred the atmosphere. And just as I was going, to continue my sentence---rain quickly came down, to encourage the mood.
How ever so convenient, ne?
Students from around us started hollering, as they felt the pellets of rain land on them. They started scattering, and searching for temporal safety with their friends, or significant other.
"Ah crap."' Coming along with her complaint, she shielded her head with several binders, and started walking away. "Sorry Ru, I better get going, see you whenever."'
The last thing I remembered seeing from her was, her back turned, as she skipped quickly to her destination. By now, less and less people passed by, and eventually I was the only one standing alone, still trying to get these good-for-nothing legs to work. Then again, i didn't want to run and slip. So maybe waiting for the rain to subside was a good good idea.
At-least that's what I told myself, that was the lame excuse for why I didn't start walking home yet. But I knew inside, I was torn apart and, just frustrated with my pathetic self. I knew I was completely incapable of keeping anyone, and I was such a loser no one would want me, ever. If she didn't want me, who the hell in their right mind would?
At this point, the pain inside, the hurt, everything started to leak out, and I could feel myself weakening.
The rain continued to come down, more violent than before--so I allowed myself to cry. I allowed myself to show the most venerable side to the public; I allowed myself to prepare, for the teasing and taunting that would attack me within a week. When everyone finds out how big of a whiny, and clingy person I am--they will. But I know I deserve it, because I'm always setting myself for another heartbreak anyways.
Dragging myself and school materials, to the city bus, I still allowed my fears to free fall. By now, I was soaked from head to toe, binders, textbooks, everything was ruined, drenched in rain. My hair flatten, my gakuran sticking closely to my body, I wasn't even sure if the money, I had for the ride home would even survive.
But regardless about how heavy the rain became, or how strongly the squalls blew--my soul and mentality was only tainted, by how weak I truly was.
+++++ +++++
"Jesus Christ, everyone makes a big deal about the rain..." A blondish brunette commented, holding his remedial mathematics textbook over his head, his other free hand dug in his pockets. "Weee~look at me! Hollerin' like a psycho, because water is falling from the sky!" A raven haired, lip pierced friend of his, began snickering starting his own over-exaggeration. "Uru, it's a real shame that rain doesn't dry, so let me cry about how wet my hair is~" The two both laughed hardy, as they and two others walked off campus. "Sorry to damper that, but I seriously would be royally pissed, if my hair got soaked." A bleach blond teen corrected, winking at the others while reaching for his cell phone.
"What about you Kai-kun?" Aoi innocently asked, nudging his buddy in his ribs. "Eh~rain drys--so I'd be okay!" The other raven haired teen stated, flashing his adorable dimples and toothy grin. Both Uruha and Aoi awed in unison, as Kai displayed his infamous smile.
"Ah shit." Reita stopped dead in his tracks, as he sucked his teeth, re-reading his new text message. "What happened?" Uruha asked, half interested as he continued walking.
"I've gotta jet home, and unlock the door for my onee-san: she came home early today so--see you guys later." With a quick wave, Reita was out of their sight, and closer to his home than any of the guys progressed. The three remaining guys all said, their own farewells and walked closer to each-other. "And then was three!" Stated Kai, as he carefully skipped ahead. "Well, there was four, until Ru decided to go with his girlfriend." Aoi added his face showing blunt annoyance, for the short one's new love. "God~she's real cute!" Uruha purred, skipping with with Kai as well. "Yeah, maybe--but I heard her lust for guys isn't. People around the school, says she's been out 'riding' on more than enough guys." Kai gossiped, turning around and speaking softly. The gang carried on a different conversation, until they passed by a couple that was showing aggressive PDA.
"ew~" Uruha mouthed, while checking out both the guy and girl, for recognition, Aoi just maturly ignored it, holding in his outburst for lecturing at the couple for their bluntness. Kai studied the girl, not lustfully but only to wonder if he seen her before. The girl viciously wrapped her legs around her partner, her arms moving to hug her boyfriend's neck.
"oh no..." Muttered Kai, his eyes spotting the mysterious girl's wrist, gut dropping in utter sympathy for the shorter friend. After the couple moved their love-making session else where and out of sight, Kai forcefully tugged on both Uruha and Aoi's sleeve.
"Guys, we got a huge problem."
"What Kai, you hard now? Ask Aoi to help you~" Teased Uruha, which automatically got a smack from Aoi. "Douche." He marked, a perverted grin taking over his lips. Kai held the two back, and his ton harden. "Guys." The two gave their laughter an abrupt stop, as they searched Kai's face for a hint of playfulness.
"That girl back there, is Ruki's girlfriend."
+++++ +++++
The rain finally lighten, just as soon as I reached my room. Pretty funny how timing can be, isn't it?
Well, of course I'm being sarcastic with you! Do you honestly think I'm up for a freakin' joke?
Forcefully throwing my textbook and other shit, into some random corner of my room: I stripped out of my clothes, and put my pajamas on then I turned my stereo on, to some random metal station; the genre fit my mood perfectly--so I really didn't care who was playing. Viciously ripping all of the pieces of paper, which held future plans or notes, with my ex: I threw them overhead like confetti. Maybe this whole thing marked the beginning of something new.
Or maybe I'm just completely shitting myself.
Continuing to dig through our useless memorabilia, I stumbled some pictures of us.
Well, that's all in the past now, isn't it?
At this point, my tears of hurt from earlier now transformed into pure rage. It was typical for me, to have uncontrollable mood-swings--I think it would be for anyone. Finally, I seemed to have gotten rid, of anything related to that good-for-nothing whore. Now, I probably have a gist on what you're thinking, and yes: it is wrong for me, to call her that. However I'm not stupid enough, to not suspect anything.
Besides, it would be a hell of a lot easier, if I blamed it on her. I mean, I'm not all that pathetic right? At this point, all I really need is a boost in my self-esteem--or at-least to know my ex was telling the truth.
Maybe she still does like me.
"Heh~or maybe I'm ultimately kidding myself." Mumbling out loud as I stomped around my room, the low bass from my stereo shaking the air at this point. Pacing back and forth, I could feel the growing tension, in both of my fists--but sadly, I had nothing to take out on.
Or perhaps I'm not being observant enough.
Slowly turning around, my eyes quickly spotted a blank wall that was nearly begging, for me to give it some new decoration. Picking up my remote for the stereo, I turned the volume high enough to block even my cries, for what I was about to do. Curling my trembling fist in preparation, I could feel the intense pain of my fingernails digging deep, into the palm of my good hand. I knew this would only cause nor pain, but at this moment: I only cared for distracting myself, with another type of discomfort.
Even if it resulted to self-mutilation.
With one swift movement, I felt my knuckles impacted forcefully on the white wall. A ripple of intense pain shot through my body, my right fist more shaky than before. Biting deep into my lower lip, I held in the piercing shriek that reacted, to my wonderful idea. Examining my quivering hand, I spot black and blue bruises that formed on my knuckles conveniently.
That wasn't enough.
Gathering my composure, I swung at the wall again with the same fist. Over, and over and over again; and with each punch I felt the blows coming back to bite me. Each blow weakening because somehow, I was aware on how incredibly painful blowing my anger I felt. But it was the good type of pain.
And I liked it.
Using my other unharmed hand, it held my trembling wrist in place, and I finally saw the brutally I inflicted on myself. My hand almost ear total disfigurement, black and blue all over, tainted with a bit of my maroon blood, that I casually ran down the crevice of my numb knuckles. It gathered on the tip of my fingertips, and I swiftly brushed it off, on the side of my pajamas pants. It wasn't long afterward that I spotted spots of blood, that tarnished my innocent wall.
Part of me felt, as if I washed away the poison that ran through my body. But I had just proved to myself I wasn't weak: I'm stronger than I thought.
All this time I underestimated myself.
Slugging my body over to the light switch, I turned off the light so I wouldn't remind myself, how badly I disfigured my hands. Truth be told, I had to clean off the trickling blood, I couldn't stand the feeling of my own body liquid tainting anything else. After properly caring for a nearly broken hand, I collapsed back onto my bed---eyes propped on my ceiling.
When I was younger, I remember putting up these glow-in-the-dark stars. Because the part of me loved laying under the velvet sky, staring blankly into the cosmos. But since I wasn't allowed out that late, my family had to mimic that soothing feeling. So they stuck them all over my ceiling--and I know real stars aren't perfect five shape figures, nor are they neon green: but it was the closest thing I had, without having to lose everything, just to bunk outside.
Whenever Reita could, me and him would always sneak out during the dead of night, and somehow---we'd find a place dark enough to see the moon and lost stars. He was there for me, always there, but somehow I got the brilliant idea, to blow him off for a whore: nice going Ru. Flipping my body over to face the closest wall, I gently traced the uneven surface with my bad hand. And suddenly, I felt alone again.
It felt not only the pain of my throbbing fist, but how alone I've been since I was with my girlfriend. How long has it been, since I hung out with Reita? When's the last time, me and him sincerely talked about anything?
Suddenly I recognized this pain, it was heartbreak, but not because of my ex, but of how distant I was growing with my friend. Although I've only known him for two years, he was one of the only people I could feel safe with. There always safety in his word, and I could honestly feel just fine with him.
Ripping my eyes free from rolling tears, I thew my blanket over my body, and my memories quickly replayed, all the moments I shared with him. Always laughter, playfulness---never hurt, of course I could feel so blessed, to be around such a protective and supportive guy. Reita was honestly, the only one who made me sincerely serene. My watery eyes opened, and I longed to be in his arms. I longed to have him comfort me; if only I could have found one, to love me the same way Reita does.
Maybe that was all I was searching for in a person. I all I wanted was simple generosity, honest kindness, lovable humor, sweet warmth and a gentle spirit.
But maybe I was searching in the wrong place.
But maybe...maybe it was Reita this whole time.
+++++ +++++
"Where the hell is Reita at?" Uruha growled, his eyes scanning the lunch-room, for his blond late friend.
"I don't know, but he better get here quick." Added Aoi, as he took a small bite out of his cornbread. Shortly after, kai texted Reita to come to the lunch-room ASAP. But still no response.
"I just can't believe that Ru's girlfriend, would do something that trashy. What a whore!" Uruha spat, fixing his narrowed eyes on her, from across the lunch-room. "I can't believe I thought, she was cute..."
"I don't think anyone saw it coming Uru. It was just, quick and unexpected..." Aoi responded in a soft and pitiful voice. "But it does take two, to make a relationship work."
"Too bad for Ruki. He really liked her a lot, but they barely talk to each-other. I mean, with her and her AP classes, and extra curricular activities--when did they have the time for each-other?" Kai added, slipping his phone into his pocket.
"Gah, I hate when you, and Aoi are right. I was really looking forward to kicking someone's ass though." Muttered Uruha, his sharp chin resting in his palm. "Hell, I'd do anything for Ruki."
"Speaking of Ruki, where is he today?" Aoi asked full of concern, head snapping in all directions.
"My guess? Maybe at home skipping." Kai stated, reaching for his pocket to see if Reita responded.
"Goddamn it! Where is that punk bitch at?" Hollered Uruha, as he forcefully slammed his fists, against the table. "My patience is thinning." And just on cue, the blond headed friend of theirs entered the lunch-room, searching for his own friends--his face surprisingly full of annoyance.
"REITA~AA!" Aoi screeched, waving both his arms over head. Reita soon spotted the loud raven-haired friend, and stomped over with his textbooks. "FINALLY~" The three sighed, attempting to decode Rei's "screw off" face.
"Why the hell did you guys text me non-stop?! I was in the middle of taking notes, for my history class!"
Rolling his dark brown eyes, Uruha crossed his arms and out stared Reita. "Are you telling me, school-work is more important than Ruki?" The blond's face lighten, eyes widen at the possible bad news that he was going to hear about his best-friend. "Of course not! What happened? Is he okay?"
"He's fine--it's about his relationship with his girlfriend." Aoi informed, pulling Reita down to sitvwith the rest of the gang.
"We saw that whore with another guy, doing some pretty lewd shit in public."
The shock from hearing the news, about Ruki's girlfriend betrayal, shocked Reita beyond words. Clenched fists at his sides, he slowly asked more about the situation. "W-What? When did this happen?"
"Yesterday," Kai answered, slowly backing away from the angered teen. "it's odd actually, because we saw her with another guy, as soon as you left." Reita's eyes rapidly shot at Ruki's partner, who was standing up and walking away from her table.
"I can't believe this would happen. Ruki is head over heels for this girl."
"Well unfortunately, she didn't seem to feel the same." Kai added, sympathy growing in his answers. Reita's eyes dropped to view his feet, and he tried to gather his mind, to get to the bottom of this infidelity. "Who?"
"Eh?" The three asked together, leaning closer.
"Who is it, that Ru's girlfriend was cheating with?" He viciously questioned between clenched teeth.
"None of us know Rei, his back was facing us." Uruha reassured, glancing behind him to see the whore herself giggling innocently, and walking by with a group of girls.
"...well what can I say? I couldn't help myself!"'
Fixing his eyes on the other three, who continued their verbal investigation on the main enemy: Uruha tuned into the passing, gossiping teen.
"Kyah~I can't believe you did that! Naughty girl~What about Ruki?"'
Rising an eyebrow, Uruha casually leaned back, expecting to hear the worst.
"Well I dumped him~But Sasaki Daisuke was totally worth it. He's not just good at playing soccer, if you catch my drift~" The group of teens worked their way out of the cafeteria, Uruha's face showing blunt anger.
"Rei, the dude is Sasaki Daisuke." Attentions quickly directed at the blonde's immediete reaction.
Pure rage, was the only thing that consumed his face. Eyes narrowed and with one swift movement, he was heading for the exit. The others exchanged frighten looks, and followed him as well. "Reita, think about what you're about to do!" Kai warned, attempting to keep up with the tempered Reita.
"Who the hell, does he think he is? Screwing around with my best-friend's girlfriend?!" Slamming the doors open, he quickly stomped down the hallway, reaching closer to confront the deceiver. "REITA, BRO CHILL! WAIT UP!" Shouted Aoi, as he dragged Uruha with him.
"Who the hell is he tricking? Definitely not me--and to think I was friends with him?" By each growing second, every turn on every corner only fed into his hatred of anticipation. If there was one thing Reita hated more, it was waiting to give someone a taste of their own medicine. "I can't wait, to confort this lying son-of-a-bitch." Pushing through a crowd of other graders, there was a murmur, and predictions of a fight from how clearly upset Reita was becoming.
"Mother of God Rei: slow the hell down, wheels!" Complained Aoi as he continued to drag Uruha, Kai doing a decent job of catching up. Piercing and clouded eyes quickly spotted Daisuke at his locker, his girlfriend near approaching him. The target of Reita's rage, faced the opposite direction, standing not that far from his open locker. Daisuke's girlfriend spotting the approaching group, her large smile immediately collapsed, eyes full of fear: she was aware of what was going to happen because of her. The group stopped, crossing their arms and staring at the cause of the anticipated brawl. Uruha slowly mouthed "Shits about to go down whore. Your boyfriend isn't safe, at all."
Fear quickly washed over her face, and she reached out to grab Daisuke's arm. But before she could warn Daisuke, Reita fimrly slammed his locker, doing that solely for his immediate attention. By the time Daisuke turned to confort Reita, a crowd was already starting to gather around the two. "Oh, hey Rei! What's up buddy?" Holding his hand up for a high five, his eyes met Reita's automatically sensed hostility. Reita's eyes fixed on his prey, as he attempted to calm his frayed nerves, clenched fists and boiling blood stating other intentions.
"What's going----"
"You think you're some slick son-of-a-bitch, don't you Daisuke?"
"Excuse me?" He harshly asked, laying one arm on his closed locker.
"You wanna ask that more polietly?"
"To hell with kindness Daisuke! How the hell could you steal her, from Ruki?"
A sarcastic chuckle resulted from Reita's question; Daisuke's eyes darting from his current girlfriend, to the guys standing behind Reita. "So that's who she was with. I never really cared enough to ask, or give a crap."
"Of course you don't Daisuke. She's Miss. I'm-too-big-of-a-whore-to-keep-my-legs-crossed, and you're Mr. I'll-screw-anything-that-moves-in-a-skirt. All you two care about is getting laid." Uruha brutally informed, receiving an 'oh' from the growing crowd.
"Stay the hell out of this, you homo." Daisuke retaliated.
"What the--you know what? I'm going to let Reita handle you. I'm not going to lie, I really want to see your shit handed to you~" With a devilish smirk, Uruha stepped back, arms still crossed. "Have fun losing Dai!" He added lastly, before preparing for the fight of the year.
Daisuke fixed his eyes on Retia, and studied him intently--not sure what to expect. "Well, shouldn't you get going?"
"Excuse me? I came down here, to ask why you stole Ru's girl!"
"Oh, c'mon. We're guys~that's what we do! When we see a girl we like, we go after 'em."
"Aha, maybe perverted and shallow guys like you. But guys like me: we stay loyal to our friends."
"Psh, don't you mean to your boyfriend?"
"What?"
"I know how you really feel about Ruki. Everyone here knows about your gay love for him, and your faggot ass."
"Shut your freakin' mouth."
"Well, grow balls and admit how big of a queer you are Rei!" Turning to face the spectators , Daisuke smiled in pure vengeance. "Did you guys know Reita here, happens to be a flaming homo?" The crowd exchanged disbelief filled looks, and a ripple of laughter erupted.
"oh no." Kai whispered under his breath, biting his lower lip. Both Uruha and Aoi glanced at each-other, only hoping Reita's next move wasn't something he'd regret. "Reita, kick his sorry good-for-nothing ass!" Encouraged Aoi as he thew his fist into the air.
"Yeah Reita---" Daisuke started. "Kick my sorry ass."
Carefully reconsidering his next moves, Reita kept his eyes glued on his enemy. Daisuke flashing his cocky grin, thinking that Reita would remain still. "Heh~that's what I though. You know Reita, you can't protect your boyfriend from getting hurt. If a guy sees someone he wants; he's going to do what he can to get her: it's the universal truth. However, if your Ruki friend gets in the way--you think guys will consider his feelings?" Leaning towards Reita, Daisuke spoke in a low tone, cocking one eyebrow to display his devious thoughts. "Everyone knows you protect him, because you two share a faggot love for each-other. So why don't you grow balls, and admit you love him, if not don't be a whiny baby about life, okay?" Backing away, the two still kept each-other in their gaze, Daisuke beginning to walk away with his girlfriend.
"Seriously Reita? If you're going to confront someone, like the way you did earlier: actually do something about it. You're all shit talk, and no fight." The crowd patiently anticipated a punch to be swung, kicking, more name-calling--but Reita gathered enough sanity, to not mindlessly beat the living day lights out of Daisuke. Instead, Reita had a different way to carry out the planned fight.
"After school. You and I, in the parking-lot."
"Ohh, you actually wanna do this, eh?"
It was Reita's turn to smirk, as he mocked Daisuke's action by leaning in, and speaking softly--but loud enough, for the crowd to hear. "Truth be told: I'm dying to kick your sorry ass. Hell, everyone is: you're just that hateable. The only reason why you stole Ru's girl from him, is because you only got looks going for you. But that'll be the end of it, when I take care of you."
Ohs and aws erupted from the crowd, as they prepared for Daisuke's comeback. Now, everyone was pumped up for the after-school fight.
"Prepare to eat that later." Forcefully shoving Reita, Daisuke's girlfriend gripped onto his arm, to pull him back if Rei retaliated. "See you after-school, Suzuki." Soon after, the lunch bell rang and the crowd dispersed, all gossiping about the upcoming brawl--and awing in utter disappointment, for what didn't happen. Still, the by-standers that passed the two, kept their eyes glued mindlessly on them--just waiting patiently, if any of them had a change of mind. Now, there was only Reita and Daisuke watching the other, the gang and the un-loyal girlfriend nudging the two, from the mental taunting.
"Daisuke, I'll kick your sorry ass, and when I'm finished: I'll be sure to let the guys here, kick you while you're down. You're ass is grass, Sasaki." Swiftly turning to walk away, he heard both his hatred enemy, and his girlfriend laugh in complete skepticism, their voices beginning to decrescendo, as they walked their path to class. As the gang continued down the hall, Uruha and Kai kept their grip on Reita, for Daisuke's sake.
"That was heated." Was all Aoi could say, after a silent four minute cooling-down walk. "I'm sure Ruki will really appreciate what you're doing."
Just the mention of his friend's name, was enough to soften up Reita's current mood. His head lowering, and he forcefully tugged away from his friend's grasp. "I just couldn't stand the thought, of him being played. He means a lot to me."
"We know Reita, I think he means more to you than anyone here. Which is why, you need to tell him the truth...about everything." Suggested the more innocent member of the gang. Kai kept himself within Reita's gaze, only to read his true ulterior motives. "Besides, he'll believe you, since you two are the closest."
"B-But, I wouldn't be able to...I mean, he's so in-love with her: I could never break news like that to him." Eyes suddenly full of panic, for Ruki's reaction towards the shocking secret. "I just...wouldn't have the heart to hurt him."
"But you're the only one, who could do it in the most sympathetic way Rei. You have a way of words,a nd cheering him up--plus, you'll find a way to comfort him, like before! You've been able to do this before, remember?"
"Yeah, but this has got to be the worst though. It's just, I couldn't stand there, and bear see his pain when I tell him the news. I would just feel hurt, and useless when he's heartbroken."
"Bullshit." Aoi bluntly stated, receiving appauling looks from all the other guys. "Don't you dare say that: you do a hell of a good job, making Ruki feel worth something. You always manage to make it seem that things will get better, in the long run. Ruki appreciates everything you do for him, he admires your honesty. So don't you dare say you're 'useless'. No one, and I really do mean no one would have stuck up for Ruki, the way you did."
A sudden blush flushed his face, Reita redirecting his head else-where.
"It's because Daisuke disrespected Ruki."
"Are you sure, it's not because you truly love him, and couldn't stand the thought of the one you care for, being used again?" The others expected a quick-witted reply, but instead stood there in silence. Uruha and Kai exchanged baffled looks, it mostly containing widen eyes. Aoi on the other hands, continued his interrogation in Reita's true feelings. "If you can honestly stand here, and tell me you have only 'friendly' feelings about him: than you really have been bullshitting us, and his trust."
Reita's face now clearly embarrassed, came back with only incoherent stuttering.
"I just...we're..."
"Bullshitting his trust, Reita." Aoi reminded once more, watching Reita surrendering while slamming his forehead into a near-by locker. "I really am that pathetic, aren't I? I mean, this entire time I laid off, and respected him--telling myself it's perfectly normal, to have thoughts of only your best-friend. Not once, did it occur to me, that I might just really feel more for Ruki; and now, he's going to become heart-broken, and I'll be the babbling in denial, lovestruck idiot. Why didn't I notice this earlier?"
"You just answered it dummy: you respected him as a friend. The only thing worse to you, besides being turned down by him--is the mere thought of losing him as a friend, due to your selfishness."
A loud and confused sigh was followed with Aoi's explanation, as he began slamming his confused mind into a locker. "Is all hope lost?"
"Of course not Rei: everyone here hardly thinks Ruki doesn't like you the same way."
Lifting his head from the slightly dented locker, Reita's eyes was once again full of enthusiasm. "You think so?"
As a response, the guys nodded simultaneously, grinning in Reita's sudden mood change. Uruha stepped forward, placing his hand on his shoulder, and began his pep-talk.
"So, who is going to kick Daisuke's sorry, fake ass after school?"
"I will!"
"Who is going to make him eat grass, and show him to never drag his punk ass around us again?"
"I WILL!"
Out of pure excitement and happiness, for Reita's new found confidence, Uruha finished off with one more reminder.
"Reita, I have the up-most belief in you. Now that you can say all that with pride: put that same mind-set toward your confession."
"Mhm! I promise I will!"
"Good, now get your smart-ass to class----and kill that Daisuke punk when you see him."
+++++ +++++
The entire night after realizing my intimate feelings for Reita, my mind was troubling me with temptation to expose how I honestly felt. I wanted to let Reita know how I felt, because it only seemed appropriate.
But then there was, the tiny fear of getting hurt.
Again.
I knew there was a huge a chance, Reita wouldn't have feelings remotely close to mines--let it be emotional or physical. But then again, it was Reita I had fell for, for God's sakes!
Knowing him, he wold never do anything to hurt me intentionally--like others--or shoot me down, in a heartless manner. But on the other hand, If I didn't confess: I'd have to live on, seeing the love of my life being taken away from me. Or worse, he'd be played and treated like I have.
So if I told him the truth, he wouldn't like me back, and if I didn't tell him: I would watch him fall in-love,for someone else. Basically I still lose--and I'm in an unrequited love situation. After debating mentally, about this whole topic: I didn't get any sleep, surprising isn't it? That alone caused me to sleep in late, and not only that but now my mother was worried about my mental state. After she saw my hand, and heard my lame excuse for it: she kept me inside, and kept a keen eye for me. Unfortunately for her, my father and her had to attend a dinner party, for a business related reasons.
Luckily for me, this meant I could take a stroll through the park to clear my mind. After being prisoner in my room, for a good two days, it was about time to take a breather. Finding a near-by bench to relax on, I stretched to waken my muscles, slouching in this comfortable seat. The park itself was in-animated, silent and empty. I had to wait for the perfect opportunity, to escape when my parents left. First to avoid seeing anyone I knew here, and second, to avoid my parents over-bearing love. Sprawling my arms and legs all over the bench, my eyes naturally trailed its way to see the beautiful stars. The midnight black sky, colored with white stars varying in size--the sound of nature in the background strangely mesmerizing. A couple of ominous clouds, gathering here and there--but over-all, this particular night was calm, and time just seemed to fly by.
But there was something missing here.
And I already knew the answer, I mean after-all: Rei and I would sneak out, just to doze off int his park together. This is where, our friendship would strengthen, quality time was spent, and the moments when I was aware, that he was the one. This park held a lot of memories, and every time I'd pass by it--I'd always incorporate it with Reita. This park acted as our haven, our secret hide-out, our home. Thinking about this whole thing, reminded me about this one reassuring set of words Reita would always state.
Whenever I felt scared, hated, unwanted: Reita constantly reminded me that he was someone, I could always talk to. He was the shoulder I could cry on, and wouldn't be judged for whatever led me to do so. He also said that: if I ever felt unloved, if I ever doubted the importance of myself I could always find a home in his arms. It was always easy to find security and comfort, all in one place. I could always run into his arms, never failing to receive love.
Question is: where is my friend at now?
+++++ +++++
Reita was unsure if now would be a good time to sneak out--by now Japan was already experiencing signs of an upcoming rain, and not to mention it was getting real late. Reita's older sister--who was his guardian--was sound asleep, but there was a chance, she might come to check up on him. Originally Reita was going to visit Ruki, when the sun was still visible. But he got a tad bit caught up, in the after-school fight.
Which he won in no time flat.
But of course, his visit to his best-friend was not to celebrate his victory--but to proclaim his true feelings. Truth be told, Reita did highly consider chickening out last minuted, or to even use the 'I got caught sneaking out' excuse. But everyone knew Rei's sister was too kind to not let her younger brother off the hook, for this particular reason. And indeed, it was a last minute decision to visit him especially at this time.
But Reita couldn't go to sleep, and hopefully with his luck: Ru couldn't either. His legs swiftly ran him over sidewalks, through empty parking lots and importantly avoiding cops--because nothing seemed more suspicious, than a young adult running from nothing. These were the moments, when his anxiety started getting the better of him, Reita could feel his body quivering, heart thumping to point where he could hear it. Hands drenched in sweat, as his eyes spotted the darken room and slightly cracked window or Ruki's.
For Reita, it was too late to back out. Breathing a couple of deep breaths, his fingers wiggled between the empty space of the window, and quietly pulled it up slightly. "Ruki~" He listened intently for a response, as he continued to completely open the window, letting himself in. It was pretty typical for Ruki to sleep heavily, while having the window slightly open. A days when Reita was up for sneaking out, he'd always find himself passing out in Ruki's room--instead of going else where.
"Ru-chan!" He whispered loudly, tip toeing his way over to Ruki's bed. "Buddy are you awake?" Gently shoving the body under the bed sheets, Reita was in for disappointment when he found Ruki had sneaked out himself. "Great..." He muttered in a let-down, before getting himself to sit on the pillows disguised as Ruki's body. Resting his arms onto his sluggish knees, Reita turned on the lamps standing on a night-stand and near Ruki's empty bed.
"Well, looks like I just wasted fifth-teen minutes of running."
Sighing passively, his right hand clumsily stumbled all over the stand, to blindly turn off the lamp. But to his surprise, his hand caught a hold of something else, that lied close to the lamp's switch. "Nan de--" Leaning closely to the light source, his eyes adjusted to what he held.
And it wasn't long after-ward, that the object brought a grin to his face. It was a picture of both him and Ruki, shoulder around shoulder, both having a blunt---yet natural smile on their faces. And suddenly, Reita remembered the exact day when the photo was taken. Ruki was excited that the two grown close, so to capture the moment: Ruki himself took the picture, from an odd angle. At that thought, Reita's grin slowly disintegrated, that same pain and burden forming from the inside. Running his index finger over Ruki's face, he felt even more disappointment take control. But then..."Eh~?" Bringing the picture a bit closer to his eyes, he tilted the picture to view it with better light..Focusing into the background, Reita spotted a bench, an aging tree, and a walk-way.
Suddenly, he knew where Ruki had gone to. Placing the picture back onto the stand, and fixing up the decoy: Reita climbed out of the room, pulling the window back to its original spot.
+++++ +++++
Pulling his eye-lids apart, Ruki yawned loudly, adjusting his body in a sitting position. Without complete awareness, Ruki dozed off into a nap--which lasted for a good twenty minutes. Still feeling fatigued, Ruki rested his chin in his hands which were propped on his knees. Focusing his eyes onto the blank walk-way, that was barely a feet from him--he noticed little pellets of rain dropping onto it. Raising his head above, he saw the clouds from over-head, forming together to start another shower. Although it was getting late, the moon that hung casually above still shined, with the strength--but not intensely of fluorescent light bulbs.
Out of pure boredom, Ruki gently ran his fingers over his bounded hand. His hand which wasn't hurting as bad, but still disfigured and in the process of healing. Gingerly kissing his knuckles, he laid his right hand by his side, and patiently waited for the rain to lighten up.
"Ruki?"
Eyes snapping open, the startled Ruki quickly turned, eyes catching his slightly damp friend. His breath hitching in the middle of his throat, Ruki snapped himself out of the sudden shock. "R-Reita! What are you doing here?"
A nervous chuckle came with his response, as Reita walked around the bench, to sit down with Ruki. "I wanted to talk: I've missed you a ton."
Feeling an immediate blush wash over his face, Ruki averted eye contact with his love, conjuring up a reply to Reita's answer. "I-I've been missing you too..." Fragile brushing his bangs aside with his bad hand, Reita's eyes caught a hold of it and gently took into his hands. "Ruki, what happened here?"
"Oh, uh--I got unto a fight with my wall." He bluntly answered, currently feeling more embarrassed, than nervous. As a result, Reita giggled, petting it soothingly. "Nan de Ru? You're such a dork!"
Ruki couldn't help but laugh as well, pushing his friend with his good hand. "Baka! You're one to talk--what about the bruise on your forehead?"
"Eh? Oh, this thing. Aha, I got into a fight with a locker."
"Ahehe~Aw, Reita--I'm sorry the locker won!" The two continued laughing, teasing each-other like old times--before Ruki became committed before Ruki's girlfriend came into the picture.
The girlfriend.
At the realization, Reita's laughter bluntly ended as he nervously fumbled his fingers together. Ruki sensing something troubling him, he scooted himself closer to Reita, lowering his head to his.
"Reita-kun, what's wrong?"
Reita's troubled eyes met Ruki's, as he adjusted himself more comfortable. "It's about....your girlfriend."
Raising an eye-brow to the upcoming conversation, Ruki felt himself becoming a tad bit jealous. Why was Reita mentioning her? Could it be, he had already found his love?
"W-What?"
Pulling himself to face Ruki courageously, he took those few silent moments thinking of an upcoming gentle way, to tell him the news. "Remember Reita, you're here to comfort him. You've got to tell him the truth!"' Taking one final breath, Reita's hand nervously stumbled his hands to hold Ruki's. "This isn't easy for me to tell you this but..." "C'mon Reita! Do this for Ruki!"'
"T-The guys...they saw your girl-friend with another dude."
"EH? When was this?" Ruki questioned, Reita--on the other hand, slightly pulled back, confused on how lacking Ruki was in anger.
"Yesterday."
"Was this before it started raining, or after?"
"Uh...after, but why---" To that reassurance, Ruki started laughing, placing one hand on Reita's shoulder. "Then we were already over."
Taken by surprise by the new news he heard, Reita studied Ruki's expression for any sudden change. "Wait, you guys already broke-up?"
"Truth be told, she dumped me. At first, she told me she had too much going on. But now, I know it was because of another guy." Ruki pulled himself together to show a fake smile, before lowering his head to cry freely. "I was just hoping it wasn't true."
"Ru..." Lost in words to soothe him with something appropriate, he watched his best-friend beat himself down, Ruki only hoping not to draw anymore sympathy to himself.
"Ruki, you know you deserve someone much better than her, right?"
"To be honest, I'd settle for anyone right about now At this rate, do you honestly think I'll find true love?" Locking eyes with Reita once more, Ruki waited patiently for a response--and began laughing. "Exactly."
"C'mon Reita, pull yourself together buddy."'
Wrapping one arm around his trembling friend, Reita brought him closer to his side, hoping his embrace would warm his heart. "I wasn't responding because I wasn't unsure: I wasn't responding because you would argue back!"
Ruki chuckled as a response, rubbing away any tears.
"But Ruki, you know there is somone who honestly and sincerly loves you. You may not even mean a lot to yourself, you may even think you don't mean anything to the world. But...to that special someone, you mean the world to them." Resting his chin lightly on Ruki's head, he hugged him tenderly feeling Ruki's tremble subside.
"So please...wipe those sad tears away, okay?"
With a weak nod, Ruki remained quiet--the two continuing to watch the rain come down. "Y'know it's weird, the day she broke up with me it was raining. Even before then, I've been deathly afraid of this type of weather. But it's raining now...and I feel okay."
Reita smiling gently, closed his eyes as he answered back. "Well, I'm glad I can make you feel better."
A blush rapidly engulfed his face, as Ruki felt sudden nervousness. "The way you embrace me, Reita do you do this with everyone?"
"Of course not silly: only you. And do you know why?" Pulling Ruki up, both their eyes met--Ruki's blush worsening.
"Because you mean the most to me."
A short gasp, followed Ruki's surprised expression, and he felt heart clenched, throbbing with this contageous nervousness. Ruki knew perfectly well what this feeling was--and there was no denying his emotions for his blond-haired friend. However, he could only hope Reita would feel the same.
"Why do you care for me so much?" After asking his question, Ruki could automatically sense Reita's immediate reaction. He was tense, clenched and didn't seem at ease--not one bit. Afraid of his love's next response to it, Ruki snapped his head in Reita's direction, only to find him bright thing stupid, Reita remained silent and mentally prepared himself for the biggest risk he was going to take. Ruki on the other hand, blinked completely clueless, eyes still focused on Reita.
"Rei, did you hear waht I asked?" And all he received was a quick nod, that vicrate blush, still taking up Reita's face.
"It's because....Well, I suppose this complicated but..."
At this point, Ruki wasn't sure what to expect nor was he anticipating anything heart warming.
"It's simple really--I...uh...." Lowering his hand, his mouth formed into a hard line as he strongly exhaled, in pure agitation at his lack in strength. Shortly after, his arms went around Ruki as he turned him around completely, face-to-face. "Ruki sometimes I can't explain why I do the things I do. Sometimes I just subconsciously over-protect you, or is always tell you how meaningful you are in my life. But let me remind you, I don't do this out of sympathy: I do it because you deserve it, and everything I say is completely 100% true, okay? You truly don't need someone like your ex in your life, so don't put yourself up for that. But if they're ever is one moment when you feel worthless: you can always run to me. You can always run into my arms, and I promise I'll give you all my love."
Ruki could feel those familiar tears coming back to him, and the same growing warmth slowly took over him, as he shed tears of utter happiness for having such an amazing person, in his life to comfort him. Wiping his running tears with his sleeves, Ruki's eyes locked with Reita's and his sniffling diminishing as Reita gently wiped rolling tears, with both his own trembling fingertips. The two both found themselves, day dreaming and staring lovingly at each other.
"Ruki I care for you so much, so it utterly broke my heart to find what she did and how she treated you. I would...I would never do that---ever."
Ruki nodded, tears continuing to streak down both cheeks, Reita still gently and carefully wiping it away.
"It's just I..." Leaning forward, Reita laid his forehead against Ruki's, tilting his head back to catch one last glimpse of Ruki. One hand softly trailed down his face to cup his chin, and he slowly brought Ruki's body closer.
"Ruki, I love you."
A small gasp hitched between his throat, eyes widening in complete amazement at the sudden confession--and Ruki felt gravity pulling the two closer, the space withering. Ruki felt a strong blush spread through his cheeks, butterflies forming in his stomach, his heart-beat on the verge of exploding.
But suddenly, Ruki's worries abruptly stopped as both their lips met in a kiss: Reita's soft and thin lips, gently pushing against Ruki's full ones. Both perfectly mended, as if it was destined to be completely compatible. Ruki could only imagine how heavenly, it felt to be kissing Reita. But no fantasy came close to the real thing. Eyes fluttering close, Ruki felt himself reacting back, pushing forward while tugging Reita's shirt down-wards. Feverish mouths entangled in a sweet kiss, Ruki softly running his tongue over Reita's closed lips, but before Ruki could mentally slap himself for such a forward move--Reita accepted him, and slowly open his warm mouth, tilting his head at a different angle, hands still cupped gently around Ruki's chin. Ruki did the same, savoring every precious moment spent indulging in his lover, nearly receiving chills down his spine for how it felt, having Reita's tongue mesmerizing dance along with his owns.
It was pure ecstasy for the two.
Pulling apart for a quick breather, Ruki quickly leaned his head against Reita's chest, hearing how hectic his heart-beats raced in that french kiss. Wrapping his still shakey arms around Reita's waist. Ruki breathlessly reassured--
"I love you too, Reita."
~
It's a pretty funny thing, what love can do to one's mentally: it can either make you, or break you. No joke, it's scary plunging into the unknown, your heart at risk to be brutally broken; and it seemed weather correlated with heart-break, so because of that--I always was terrified for what raining brought me. But tonight, the two of us--Reita and I, we still sat on the same bench embraced in each-other's arms, watching the rain pour.
The rain always had a funny way, of making me feel hopeless and alone...But suddenly, I don't have that fear anymore...
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A/N: THANK LORD. YES. HELLZ YES--I FINISHED! *dancesraves* After nearly putting this one-shot off, for nearly two weeks: I finally had the right inspiration to finish it! =^__^= Tbh, it wasn't suppose to be this incredibly long, so I hope you forgive me! *sobs* Originally, I was suppose to have included the fight-scene---but this was growing lengthy! DX I also felt there might, have been a slight OOC issue with Ruki--b/c he doesn't seem like one to cry: then again, if you're only used in relationships, who wouldn't? x__x Truly♥ I adore the bromance between Rei & Ru, so I thought this pairing would fit this story perfectly~So, a couple thanks for the girl who screwed me over for another girl LULZ. That rant can be found here! And another TY to all who read this, til the very end--& my mentality, for not letting me give up(^ w ^);; O: Oh, another short note: currently working on a drabble following the mention of the AoiXKai from waaaay earlier. It will be called 'Angel's Deception' 8DD So watch out for that! Thanks for reading, comments are loved~
--x_k
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