I'm sorry, I was high
Upon my recent play through of Suikoden Five, I’d though I’d jumble a few things up, that, well… could get jumbled up nice and easy.
Everything was all fine and dandy until the hero Tiffany had to go Stormfist. After that, it seemed like even the Godwin’s pants were plotting something, no doubt something evil. Especially after the haughty introduction of Gizel, which may or may not be a type of African goat, evil seemed to be about everywhere. And sometimes even Lyon, who is so attached to her duty that her manner isn’t just: “Sorry, Prince” but: “Sorry Prince, I made you some Crème Brule to make it up to you, so please don’t say we won’t watch Felicity tonight.” Very suspicious indeed.
But now after the acquiring of Phallic Castle, everyone seems to be down and good with the Communist Army. Even Sairoh, the old merchant from Raftfleet is down with the Communist Army. All it took was the selling of six packs of salt to his illegal immigrant manservant, and Sairoh went straight up and joined the Prince’s cause. I wonder if he even made it to Phallic Castle… Just imagine, a little old man traveling alone through five games worth of random battles, fashion crisis NPC’s, randy Stars of Destiny and Nazis.
Even Cathari is in on their schemes, and she’s from Harmonia! Would the Howling Voice Guild try and hunt down a stray member, or would they simply let her go and continue raping their victims with guns? There’s no telling. And the Prince not only has old geezers and criminals, but ‘powerful allies’ on his side as well. Like Lucretia, master strategist of the rednecks and feminists, who’s aura is so gay you could cut it with a plastic knife. And don’t forget Boz, who’s really nothing but a middle-aged Motley Crue fan that still drops acid and plays naked robber.
And even Lordlake, the over-cooked bastards, are behind Tiffany with all their scrawny meat and bones. Even Goesch, who has more mood swings than a horny Banshee on a full moon… Who knows what kind of anarchistic ideas he put into little Toma’s head, who’s just as moody as him… One can only ponder… Really though, that kid has no future except for goose-stepping all over Falena saying ‘Communist Army forever’ like one of those pathetic white power guys who still goes to rallies and subscribes to Aryan Nation.
And feel the might of Captain Gunde, wrathful master of the unholy Communist Army of the night, leader of six hundred and sixty-six blood-soaked nightmares who exist only for the cause of insanity. There is no more feared name in the Nine Layers of Hell; Gunde cannot create, he can only destroy. Grip your seats in terror as he hobbles across the screen and cuts one enemy for 50 damage… But… now they have cancer! Yes… that’s how the Communist Army fights now… They fight dirty…
LOL… Sorry, I couldn’t resist. Especially that last part.
Everything was all fine and dandy until the hero Tiffany had to go Stormfist. After that, it seemed like even the Godwin’s pants were plotting something, no doubt something evil. Especially after the haughty introduction of Gizel, which may or may not be a type of African goat, evil seemed to be about everywhere. And sometimes even Lyon, who is so attached to her duty that her manner isn’t just: “Sorry, Prince” but: “Sorry Prince, I made you some Crème Brule to make it up to you, so please don’t say we won’t watch Felicity tonight.” Very suspicious indeed.
But now after the acquiring of Phallic Castle, everyone seems to be down and good with the Communist Army. Even Sairoh, the old merchant from Raftfleet is down with the Communist Army. All it took was the selling of six packs of salt to his illegal immigrant manservant, and Sairoh went straight up and joined the Prince’s cause. I wonder if he even made it to Phallic Castle… Just imagine, a little old man traveling alone through five games worth of random battles, fashion crisis NPC’s, randy Stars of Destiny and Nazis.
Even Cathari is in on their schemes, and she’s from Harmonia! Would the Howling Voice Guild try and hunt down a stray member, or would they simply let her go and continue raping their victims with guns? There’s no telling. And the Prince not only has old geezers and criminals, but ‘powerful allies’ on his side as well. Like Lucretia, master strategist of the rednecks and feminists, who’s aura is so gay you could cut it with a plastic knife. And don’t forget Boz, who’s really nothing but a middle-aged Motley Crue fan that still drops acid and plays naked robber.
And even Lordlake, the over-cooked bastards, are behind Tiffany with all their scrawny meat and bones. Even Goesch, who has more mood swings than a horny Banshee on a full moon… Who knows what kind of anarchistic ideas he put into little Toma’s head, who’s just as moody as him… One can only ponder… Really though, that kid has no future except for goose-stepping all over Falena saying ‘Communist Army forever’ like one of those pathetic white power guys who still goes to rallies and subscribes to Aryan Nation.
And feel the might of Captain Gunde, wrathful master of the unholy Communist Army of the night, leader of six hundred and sixty-six blood-soaked nightmares who exist only for the cause of insanity. There is no more feared name in the Nine Layers of Hell; Gunde cannot create, he can only destroy. Grip your seats in terror as he hobbles across the screen and cuts one enemy for 50 damage… But… now they have cancer! Yes… that’s how the Communist Army fights now… They fight dirty…
LOL… Sorry, I couldn’t resist. Especially that last part.