something i wrote sunday 13 march, 2005
we are everything and we are nothing. this world exists, but at the same time it doesn't. who's to say the world goes on living when we die? when humans are gone will the world still be here, because without humans there would be no one to know that it existed and then it would be pointless, wasteful. i am everything and nothing. keruac says we are empty space, everything is just empty space. i feel it sometimes, the emptiness, which turns to fullness and the knowledge that it's all and forevermore emptiness. i am free. i have nothing holding me back from eternal ecstasy, except my mind. this mind needs a wake up call and it knows it. i must teach my mind to wake up and enjoy this freedom before i am tied down and imprisoned for the rest of my life with responsibilities and tears. wake up, mind, wake up before it's too late. a few days ago i was going out of this house not knowing where i was going to stay or how i would eat. everything took care of itself, which proves that none of this is real. this is all a dream and always has been. everything is real and yet none of it exists, only in the mind. we humans create these 3-D structures and lock ourselves in them, tucked away from the world because we're scared of the realization that reality and dreams are the same thing. time is a fool, but humans are bigger fools for trying to keep it boxed up, trying to control it. just let it be and it will set itself straight. i'm crazy like a rainbow, i'm crazy like a river, i'm crazy for life. "the dust of my thoughts collected into a globe in this ageless solitude," jack keruac.