I'm bearing my soul to the world.
The summer of 2006, I met a guy at the summer program I attended at USC. He became my best friend and, eventually, my first kiss. Once the summer ended, we kept talking, but, quite obviously, it was different. I'd like to think he became a different person, but maybe it was the both of us. It wouldn't be fair to just blame him. Anyways, I feel like I've finally reached a point where I can put it all into perspective (a year and a half later), and so I've written a little thing based on it. I'm hoping to build upon it, but please..
October 27th, 2006
You promised. You held me in your arms on a cool September night and you promised. You swore you’d never leave, that you’d always be right here. You said your hand would always fit into mine, that you’d always just have eyes for me. When you kissed me lips, did you know it would be the last time? When your fingers ran down my back, traced the lines and curves of my body, did you know? I never thought your eyes, so bright and so blue in the moonlight, would betray your true intentions. The waver in your voice when you spoke of your first, and all the reasons I was better, I was sure you were sincere.
Yet when I awoke the morning after, bathed in a warm Autumn sunlight, my plans for the future were already being made; a home, a family, a life. And as I felt for you beside me and came up empty, I knew your hand had grown too large for mine.
December 14th, 2006
It’s been three months. Three months since we touched, three months since we’ve held each other, three months since September. It’s been three months, and you’re still on my mind. When I meet other men, better looking men, men with better personalities, I always find a flaw in them. I blame this on you and your power over me. Some days, I think I’ll never get over this, that I’ll never get over my feelings. Maybe what we had was too special to forget that fast. Maybe it’ll take years for me to find someone new and push aside what I feel anytime I speak your name.
October 27th, 2006
You promised. You held me in your arms on a cool September night and you promised. You swore you’d never leave, that you’d always be right here. You said your hand would always fit into mine, that you’d always just have eyes for me. When you kissed me lips, did you know it would be the last time? When your fingers ran down my back, traced the lines and curves of my body, did you know? I never thought your eyes, so bright and so blue in the moonlight, would betray your true intentions. The waver in your voice when you spoke of your first, and all the reasons I was better, I was sure you were sincere.
Yet when I awoke the morning after, bathed in a warm Autumn sunlight, my plans for the future were already being made; a home, a family, a life. And as I felt for you beside me and came up empty, I knew your hand had grown too large for mine.
December 14th, 2006
It’s been three months. Three months since we touched, three months since we’ve held each other, three months since September. It’s been three months, and you’re still on my mind. When I meet other men, better looking men, men with better personalities, I always find a flaw in them. I blame this on you and your power over me. Some days, I think I’ll never get over this, that I’ll never get over my feelings. Maybe what we had was too special to forget that fast. Maybe it’ll take years for me to find someone new and push aside what I feel anytime I speak your name.