weee
marrying a women or sex is like buying a tiger for transportation...
i used to prey every night for a new bike, but i realized the lord doesnt work that way. so i stole one and asked him to forgive me.
i ran into someone i once dated and said "you gave me a rash" and he said, "put something on it.." and i was like.. "OK. ten bucks says it was you."
last night my boyfriend told me he was seeing another man, and i told him to rub his eyes or something.
some mornings, it just doesnt pay to gnaw through those leather straps..
i met a very hefty woman wearing a small t-shirt that said 'guess' and i said "thyroid problem?"
once i posed naked for a magazine, but it was very demeaning...and ive never been back to that news stand.
people come up to me and say "tara, do people really come up to you?"
i was married once, id always wanted an attractive, smart, older man... and he'd always wanted to be a citizen
im not a republican, but im saving up to be one.
i ran 3 miles today, then i finally said, "lady, u keep ur purse"
i once caught my husband in bed with another woman, so i told them "get off of me, both of you"
my parents always told me "if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. plus it works wonderfully as a metaphor."
i learned about men the hard way, through books.
you know how when you're peeing in the toilet and it sounds like a fallen angel telling you to kill kenny g.
my parents were very protective, i couldnt even cross the sreet without them getting really excited and placing bets.
i had a very close relationship with this other kid growing up, i was his imaginary friend.
i woke up this morning with a bloody nose and thought "how did THIS get into bed with me"
if someone strikes your face, turn the other cheek. that way the swelling comes out even.
i used to be scared of attractive guys, until one day one of them confessed "tara, we are just as afraid of you..."
so im pushing this kid through the park, but she was crying... probably because i forgot the stroller.
my parents had very strict rules, they said i couldnt be in till a certin hour...
i used to prey every night for a new bike, but i realized the lord doesnt work that way. so i stole one and asked him to forgive me.
i ran into someone i once dated and said "you gave me a rash" and he said, "put something on it.." and i was like.. "OK. ten bucks says it was you."
last night my boyfriend told me he was seeing another man, and i told him to rub his eyes or something.
some mornings, it just doesnt pay to gnaw through those leather straps..
i met a very hefty woman wearing a small t-shirt that said 'guess' and i said "thyroid problem?"
once i posed naked for a magazine, but it was very demeaning...and ive never been back to that news stand.
people come up to me and say "tara, do people really come up to you?"
i was married once, id always wanted an attractive, smart, older man... and he'd always wanted to be a citizen
im not a republican, but im saving up to be one.
i ran 3 miles today, then i finally said, "lady, u keep ur purse"
i once caught my husband in bed with another woman, so i told them "get off of me, both of you"
my parents always told me "if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. plus it works wonderfully as a metaphor."
i learned about men the hard way, through books.
you know how when you're peeing in the toilet and it sounds like a fallen angel telling you to kill kenny g.
my parents were very protective, i couldnt even cross the sreet without them getting really excited and placing bets.
i had a very close relationship with this other kid growing up, i was his imaginary friend.
i woke up this morning with a bloody nose and thought "how did THIS get into bed with me"
if someone strikes your face, turn the other cheek. that way the swelling comes out even.
i used to be scared of attractive guys, until one day one of them confessed "tara, we are just as afraid of you..."
so im pushing this kid through the park, but she was crying... probably because i forgot the stroller.
my parents had very strict rules, they said i couldnt be in till a certin hour...