*sigh*
yes.... excellent. back at purchase, hopefully getting into the fucking apartments soon. i asked the guy when he said he had space for me and mary if there was space for both of us. i didn't think i had to ask "space in the same apartment"! grrr... so that was really disappointing and stuff.
i feel like i've been such a bitch to a whole bunch of people lately, especially garry. if i were just grumpy then i'd be ok, but it's everything... i'm so irritable and i have no patience for anything, i cry all the time and i don't want to see anyone or talk to anybody or do anything except sleep, and i sleep like shit, too- i mean, 3:30 a.m. and i'm pretty much awake from then on. sucks ass.
getting taken off the wellbutrin, as over the vacation it got decreased to half the dose because it was causing anxiety to the point where i was throwing up, something i NEVER do when i'm nervous.. so now that they've downgraded the amount it's not helping the depression anymore. does that make sense? so now i'm taking xanax for the anxiety and zoloft for depression... fun.
i've been watching these crazy dudes outside make a giant fucking igloo in the snow, which is kinda funny to see on the quad. one guy's in a tee-shirt! hahahaha dumbass... it's like 15 degrees out. my head hurts.
i haven't talked to almost any of my friends from stamford in a while... i miss them. two of them were around over break and i didn't get to see either of them, and it kinda makes me sad. since i'm an idiot, i start wondering if people are avoiding me, because yes, i am that insecure. it's happened before, but those people were assholes, but still... once it happens once, you never forget it. i'm probly just overreacting.
i was supposed to get another parking permit about a half an hour ago. did i? no. i suck. i forgot to do the first homework assignment of the year and felt like a dumbass rushing to even have what i needed ten minutes beforehand.
i'm noticing this is kind of spastic but i really don't care...
friday was awesome. amy decided to have a party of 13 go out to the cheesecake factory, where some instantly classic things occurred, like when jason didn't get his food until last.... ("it's because i'm black, isn't it?!") and when jason hit blair in the forehead with one of those little butter things, or when matt and i started making fun of the south as usual. ahhhh the fun of it all.
weekend was a little quiet because of the fucking foot and a half of snow, but garry and i made it to target before the storm to get some food.... fuck going to the hub in that!
oh well... gonna try and work harder at this computer game that's been driving me and garry crazy for the past two weeks- he's so funny when he gets mad at things like that. maybe i should do homework instead.... oh well.
purchase is great (we don't have any murders like my brother's school in baltimore just did-- again), it's awesome being back with my friends, i like class, and yet... i'm just not happy. which means it's me. *sigh* i hate being like this. even a few days ago i'd still have fun when i went out and did stuff, and just be all sad when i was by myself, but now i don't even want to go out and DO any of those things with my friends. i just want to sleep.
-indigo
i feel like i've been such a bitch to a whole bunch of people lately, especially garry. if i were just grumpy then i'd be ok, but it's everything... i'm so irritable and i have no patience for anything, i cry all the time and i don't want to see anyone or talk to anybody or do anything except sleep, and i sleep like shit, too- i mean, 3:30 a.m. and i'm pretty much awake from then on. sucks ass.
getting taken off the wellbutrin, as over the vacation it got decreased to half the dose because it was causing anxiety to the point where i was throwing up, something i NEVER do when i'm nervous.. so now that they've downgraded the amount it's not helping the depression anymore. does that make sense? so now i'm taking xanax for the anxiety and zoloft for depression... fun.
i've been watching these crazy dudes outside make a giant fucking igloo in the snow, which is kinda funny to see on the quad. one guy's in a tee-shirt! hahahaha dumbass... it's like 15 degrees out. my head hurts.
i haven't talked to almost any of my friends from stamford in a while... i miss them. two of them were around over break and i didn't get to see either of them, and it kinda makes me sad. since i'm an idiot, i start wondering if people are avoiding me, because yes, i am that insecure. it's happened before, but those people were assholes, but still... once it happens once, you never forget it. i'm probly just overreacting.
i was supposed to get another parking permit about a half an hour ago. did i? no. i suck. i forgot to do the first homework assignment of the year and felt like a dumbass rushing to even have what i needed ten minutes beforehand.
i'm noticing this is kind of spastic but i really don't care...
friday was awesome. amy decided to have a party of 13 go out to the cheesecake factory, where some instantly classic things occurred, like when jason didn't get his food until last.... ("it's because i'm black, isn't it?!") and when jason hit blair in the forehead with one of those little butter things, or when matt and i started making fun of the south as usual. ahhhh the fun of it all.
weekend was a little quiet because of the fucking foot and a half of snow, but garry and i made it to target before the storm to get some food.... fuck going to the hub in that!
oh well... gonna try and work harder at this computer game that's been driving me and garry crazy for the past two weeks- he's so funny when he gets mad at things like that. maybe i should do homework instead.... oh well.
purchase is great (we don't have any murders like my brother's school in baltimore just did-- again), it's awesome being back with my friends, i like class, and yet... i'm just not happy. which means it's me. *sigh* i hate being like this. even a few days ago i'd still have fun when i went out and did stuff, and just be all sad when i was by myself, but now i don't even want to go out and DO any of those things with my friends. i just want to sleep.
-indigo