the beginning of the end...?
damn. i dont like the way thigns are going lately. it just sucks. anna [my girlfriend...] works at the carlsbad pool. and im a jealous guy already, but when she has to work with hott guys without shirts on the whole day: yeah, that sucks for me. but ive gotten over it. even though she always used to talk about how funny this guy is or how much fun they have. but then when shes with me, she acts like shes bored. and recently, she started exercising with her friend. i guess her friend just kinda half-asses it or something. anyway, anna one day at work told her friend gabe [who, by the way, is some hott 19 year old... and shes 16] and he offered to go with her. she accepted, and theyve been swimming and running and whatnot for the past week and a half. and it sucks. shes always talking about him. and like 3 days ago, we were driving back to her house. she turned the radio down and goes, 'i have to tell you something.' OH SHIT, ive heard that before, i thought. anyway, she told me she lied. when she was supposedly staying the night at her friends house, they snuck out and went to a guys [from her work] house til 4 am.. with gabe. they watched a movie or whatever she said, but she waited a week to tell me? and because she 'was scared that id get mad'. BULLSHIT, thats not right. she kept saying she was in love with me and blah blah, so i said that people in love dont lie. they come to their other with problems or anything. and she straight out lied to me; i asked what her friend and her did, she said they were up talking til 4 am, when in all actuality, she was at a guys house. yeah, i LOVE that. we almost broke up and blah blah. but we didnt. oh well. anyway, she knows i dont like her exercising with gabe, but she still does it. she says that she wants to have fun with fun people, whether it be guy or girl. but whatever. i hate it. and today, they were supposed to go paddling [surfboard paddling] after she got off. she called at like 12, when she got off, and said she was going. then she promised that wed do something tonight. well, she called at like 3:45 [which i DONT think it takes 3 hours to go paddling] and says she had to work 4-8 now. but i know its not true, because they ASK you if you want to work. they dont say you have to. and damnit, i got even more mad. cause she caled, and i answedred my cell. i said hello like 3 times, loud too. all i fucking heard was giggling for like 15 seconds. then she called back and acted like nothing mattered. so another broken promise. i mean, what the fuck do i do? so many coincidences that i dont want to bring up. well, at least to her. god, this sucks though. i think i might go chill with jami tonight. shes the only person that seems to fully understand me right now. i really feel like calling stephanie, but anna would flip out.
one night, i talked to my friend stephanie [who also happens to be my ex, but that has NO RELATION to why we talk]. anyway, she wanted to come visit me with her friend nicole. they live up in menifee/sun city [like a little over an hour drive]. so they said that theyd call me int he morning. well, i talked to anna the nixt morning, and told her. she got SUPER pissed because she was my ex. and because anna was saying that i made plans already without her. i didnt though, stephanie, nicole, and i had no plans. just ideas. anyway, i called them and they were on their way. i called anna back and she got mad and told me to tell them to turn around. i told anna that she was invited, but she didnt wanna go. even though stephanie wanted to meet her anna had previously said that she wanted to meet stephanie. so anna cried to me on the phone, begging me to tell them no. but i wasnt gonna be the worlds biggest dick and tell them no. especially since i hadnt seen stephanie in like 10 months. shes a great person, and thats why we still talk. i mean, when we talked last, it was about her boyfriend and how theyve been together and whatnot. i was helping her with stuff. its not like i was begging to see her again or something. ugh, so i hung out with stephanie and nicole and anna got pissed. she didnt want to be with me anymore, and she even told me she hated me. i saw her that night, and we kinda worked things out. so thats why she hates me talking to stephanie. because shes my ex and ive kissed her before.
stephanies pretty level headed, no matter what the situation. shed be good to talk to, shes biased or unbiased or whichever the good one is. where she doesn take sides. but, ugh. i need out. and away from my shit right now. serisouly. a fucking week long getaway from yo uand her and them and this. someone calm my ass down.