(no subject)
its a scary thought but i think its true.
its just like, you get to a point where you realize that giving and giving is getting you nothing.
unappreciated for your efforts to go see them.
unappreciated for your efforts to "fix things".
when someone doesnt even want to try to improve a bad relationship, what does that say?
i think i'm stepping into that place.
for some reason, i dont care to talk.
i have had so many one-sided "conversations" im just sick of it.
ive had enough of being told "just go home" after driving 45 mins in rush hr to go see him.
and you know what?? i have never treated him bad, never hurt him, never dumped him even after he betrayed me and my trust, and *HE DUMPS ME*. OOHHH MYYY GOOODDD.
im sick of editing what i say just so i wont offend him because if i do, i'm scared he will go back to what he used to do.
im sick of being the only one to say "i love you".
he only says "i love you too".
and now im afraid to post this.
because i only ever do the wrong thing.
but im not afraid to say my feelings.
because if he does do what he used to do, its not my fault.
if he CHOOSES that, it will only hurt him.
i wont allow myself to take responsibility for it anymore.
wow ive never felt like this before. but i guess just goin back to the same thing over and over again thinking it will be different is just....crazy.
its just like, you get to a point where you realize that giving and giving is getting you nothing.
unappreciated for your efforts to go see them.
unappreciated for your efforts to "fix things".
when someone doesnt even want to try to improve a bad relationship, what does that say?
i think i'm stepping into that place.
for some reason, i dont care to talk.
i have had so many one-sided "conversations" im just sick of it.
ive had enough of being told "just go home" after driving 45 mins in rush hr to go see him.
and you know what?? i have never treated him bad, never hurt him, never dumped him even after he betrayed me and my trust, and *HE DUMPS ME*. OOHHH MYYY GOOODDD.
im sick of editing what i say just so i wont offend him because if i do, i'm scared he will go back to what he used to do.
im sick of being the only one to say "i love you".
he only says "i love you too".
and now im afraid to post this.
because i only ever do the wrong thing.
but im not afraid to say my feelings.
because if he does do what he used to do, its not my fault.
if he CHOOSES that, it will only hurt him.
i wont allow myself to take responsibility for it anymore.
wow ive never felt like this before. but i guess just goin back to the same thing over and over again thinking it will be different is just....crazy.