forget what we're told

[x_gaijin_x]

Laying here, with my new laptop (Nuvarie is her name, for those interested), I feel...satisfied. But not quite. It's confusing. Obviously I'm happy; I just graduated, I have a pretty good job that pays pretty damn well for someone my age with zero real experience, I have a steady boyfriend who is a good man and is on his way to being very well off in the world and I have a great family that I'm really starting to click with. My life is just starting; I'm becoming (finally) something I want to be. I guess I'm just feeling a little rushed; not like I hate that, though. I'd rather dive head first into things than pussy-foot around it. I don't want to be twenty-two years old, living at home with mom and dad. I want to be able to stand on my own two feet in the next three years. I suppose I'm just excited. Yeah - excited is a good word. Excitement holds so many more feelings than it suggests; hopefulness, anticipation, apprehensiveness, elation - the whole nine yards, really. So I'm excited. Excited to be eighteen, excited to see my life start anew, excited to have a plan - all of that.

I'm finally starting to like myself. I'm pretty excited about that too.