Intro
I don't think i did an introduction for this group...I am Andrew. I am 24 and Christian Orthodox. I have been Orthodox since I was 8 but I was religious before that. Although my beleifs have somewhat "loosened" as I got older, I have not (nor will not) give them up entirely. The problem is, my church would excommunicate me if i were to express how I felt. I already have problems with my family (especially my mom since she said she should have beaten me till I bled so I can get this out of me...) but I still love my family and my religion. I don't know if I can say the same for my particular church unfortunately.
I have come to the point where I would comprimise how i felt for the sake of making my mom happy and staying in the church...and also not attracting too much attention from my fellow church-goers. But it was not good for me. It led me to feel suicidal (among other reasons) and I finaly said to myself that I cannot keep this up. I am still not sure what my solution will be, but I know, one way or another, that I have to embrace this part of me. I don't know how or to what extent, but I have to find out.
I still pray and I still ask God why He put me on this earth to endure so much pain...I ask Him why He wanted me to go through this, or if I am simply making it all up...my life has turned into this mind game...so I really do need a lot of prayers. I was baptized with the name Brigid, if that makles any difference if anyone was to pray for me...thanks for listening...
I have come to the point where I would comprimise how i felt for the sake of making my mom happy and staying in the church...and also not attracting too much attention from my fellow church-goers. But it was not good for me. It led me to feel suicidal (among other reasons) and I finaly said to myself that I cannot keep this up. I am still not sure what my solution will be, but I know, one way or another, that I have to embrace this part of me. I don't know how or to what extent, but I have to find out.
I still pray and I still ask God why He put me on this earth to endure so much pain...I ask Him why He wanted me to go through this, or if I am simply making it all up...my life has turned into this mind game...so I really do need a lot of prayers. I was baptized with the name Brigid, if that makles any difference if anyone was to pray for me...thanks for listening...