New Chapter.
School is over, summer has begun, but it hasn't hit me yet.
I still feel like I have to go back to school soon.
But the first weekend of summer has been fucking amazing.
I love my friends, their bands, and their shows.
I love having my mom trust me again.
I love being able to stay out again.
I love being able to drink a lot again.
And surprisingly enough, I'm glad I started smoking again.
A new relationship has begun as well.
Jimmy Lease is an amazing human being.
He's a beautiful person, inside and out.
He brought the change and happiness I needed.
I am his and he is mine, and I love it.
I hope it stays that way for as long as possible with
the least amount of complications.
I am fucking scared shitless of it though.
But I've decided I'm not going to be scared
of certain things anymore. I need to take chances.
Or else I'll end up regretting things.
I wish my mom trusted me enough to let me
travel by myself or with my friends.
I'm so sick of starring at the same shit every day.
I want to see mountains, and forests, and lakes, and rivers,
and snow, and big cities, and meet new, different people.
I want to explore the earth as one of it's inhabitants.
And I want to do it independently. I'm almost 18. I want to
be able to know for sure I can take care of myself.
How is that ever going to happen if I'm tied down by my
parents all the time? I need freedom from them.
I need freedom from a lot of things. I can't handle being
told what to do with my own life. There are so many things
I want to do, but might not ever be able to because of "authority".
But yet again I realize I'm living in a trapped, manipulated,
brainwashed world, and want MORE than all of this.
And that will never change.
I still feel like I have to go back to school soon.
But the first weekend of summer has been fucking amazing.
I love my friends, their bands, and their shows.
I love having my mom trust me again.
I love being able to stay out again.
I love being able to drink a lot again.
And surprisingly enough, I'm glad I started smoking again.
A new relationship has begun as well.
Jimmy Lease is an amazing human being.
He's a beautiful person, inside and out.
He brought the change and happiness I needed.
I am his and he is mine, and I love it.
I hope it stays that way for as long as possible with
the least amount of complications.
I am fucking scared shitless of it though.
But I've decided I'm not going to be scared
of certain things anymore. I need to take chances.
Or else I'll end up regretting things.
I wish my mom trusted me enough to let me
travel by myself or with my friends.
I'm so sick of starring at the same shit every day.
I want to see mountains, and forests, and lakes, and rivers,
and snow, and big cities, and meet new, different people.
I want to explore the earth as one of it's inhabitants.
And I want to do it independently. I'm almost 18. I want to
be able to know for sure I can take care of myself.
How is that ever going to happen if I'm tied down by my
parents all the time? I need freedom from them.
I need freedom from a lot of things. I can't handle being
told what to do with my own life. There are so many things
I want to do, but might not ever be able to because of "authority".
But yet again I realize I'm living in a trapped, manipulated,
brainwashed world, and want MORE than all of this.
And that will never change.