....i SWeaR GoD HaS a PLaN FoR Me...iT'S CaLLeD ToRTuRe....
i really really really really hate myself, i've fucked up so many good things that have happened in my life, i pushed away so many good people in my life, i just want all this shit to disappear, i wish i could disappear, erase all the fucked up things i've done in my life, fix all the fucked up things i've done to other peoples lives, or if i could just fix a couple things in my past, i know everything would be different for me now, everything would be better....i would be better....but i can't now and i really wish i could change things, there's someone i miss alot, and i really wish i could tell them, but they're better off without me, i know it, i just know that i could have been better, i shouldv'e been better, not just take it for granted, i'm a fucking piece of shit, and i realize it now, maybe i shouldn't come back from my trip, maybe i should just disappear, it might be better for everyone in my life.....maybe...i don't know anymore, everything good is gone, all i'm left with is myself and my problems, i just wish i could be happy again, i was once...once, that's sad...but it was great, and i fucked it up, alrigth i'm gonna go now i'm sure you've all stop reading by now, if anyone even read this anyways, you all probably just looked at how long it was and was like "Oh jeez, markie's bitchin about something again, fuck this." and moved on, but it's ok, i'll decide on what i have to do, i just hope it's for the best.....bye for now