friday. 23. july. 2004
We all woke up to my mom bitchin about us gettin up. Shes been short because she was nervous about her gallbladder surgery. When she stopped bitchin we [brandi bobby me my mom and my step dad] went up to Cape Fear and they took her in the back to get ready. Im so used to bein in hospital waiting rooms i just instantly make friends in there now. So I was talkin about politics. holy crap, I dont even know why i wanted kerry for pres. From what I learned today hesa flip flop. So then they took us to see my mom before her surgery I told her i love her and we went into the short stay waitin room. it was a lot nicer, it had couches and the tv was on something other than the news! haha. But there werent nice people to talk to like in the other one, but come to find out one of the ladies i was talkin to in the other waitin room was there because her mother in law was gettin the same surgery as my mom so she came and talked to me and brandi. I thought she was like 15.. no try almost 30 lol. her husband is in iraq. she was sweet and funny. I was supposed to be writin a letter to cassie, but i was have a good time. so the lady [her name is christy] left to get some food and i asked some old woman how to crochet [however you spell that]. She told me to wait for her daughter and her daughter could teach me. Her daughter neve came, but thats ok. The doctor came in and told us my mom was ok and we got to go see her. <3 i hate seein her like that. then we had to go back in the waitin room for another hour. Christy wasnt there still so i wrote cassie while brandi read the paper and then i went to the couch and slept. christy came back but i was off in my sleep. the doctor had told us the surgery would take 15 minutes with three little cuts. we were there 7 hours with three not so little cuts. well they woke me up when we were takin my momT to a short stay room for about thirty minutes. I was colourin with these two little girls. hey only give you 4 crayons in the hospital and purple wasnt one of them so i taught them howto make purple <3 and we left.
Now we're home. We ate and everything. Ive been doing my best to help my mom.. But its nto so easy being around her. For one shes grumpy, and two i just dont like seein my mom all bandaged. I know I should be around her and everything but i just cant. If I get upset she will too. I was talkin to brent and now I think hes a little upset with me. He told me to hug her and tell her i love her.. thats just not the kinda relationship we have.. If i were to do that she'd think I wanted something. It would just create a weird vibe, and me gettin upset. So I said no. But then I felt bad. Why the hell am i SCARED To tell my mom i love her and give her a hug? Why would it have to be weird. So I started cryin and told him i didnt wanna talk about it. he doesnt know i was crying. though he will when he reads this. i guess he got a little mad that i didnt wanna talk about it but how do you explain that you just cant hug your mom and tell her you love her?...
My dad never called. <|3