(no subject)
Title: "True Blue"
Pairing: HanChul
Rating: PG-13 ; swearing / attempted suicide
Word Count: 2362
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own these guys~ agirlcandreamthough
Summary: Heechul is the latest patient at the Everlasting Friends Day Clinic, a day clinic for people with mental disorders. He befriends the shy Hangeng and they help each other through the daily struggles. [Based on the movie Poppy Shakespeare]
I guess my first sign that things weren’t going well were on Halloween. Heechul invited me over to his place for a little get-together. You know, horror movie and a bottle of cheap wine. The only stuff us dribblers can afford other than nasty, battery-acidic cider. He’d answered the door in his usual tatty hat and wrapped up in his scarf. I ignored it as a cold though. It all went well till I presented him with a gift of a new hat, tugging his old one off to reveal his once beautiful hair was now thinning out. He was pulling his hair out through stress. He’d also taken to boiling the skin off of his arm, water straight from the kettle. It knocked up his medication dosage and meant that Zhou Mi demanded Heechul let him see his arms every day. He stayed quiet all the time as well…It was really worrying. Then things just got worse…I wish I could have paid more attention. It might have stopped it.
Walking along the street, I kept babbling to Heechul about finding the latest designer clothes in a charity shop and how I couldn’t believe my luck to find such amazing clothing. He just nodded a little as he headed down towards the subway.
“Say, do you fancy catching a movie or something tonight?” I asked, glancing over my shoulder at him. He shook his head, lifting a hand to re-adjust the hat on his head. His hair had grown back but it wasn’t even and he hated the sight of it.
“My editor is coming over…We’re having a talk about my newest books.” He muttered quietly, eyes not meeting mine. I got annoyed, he never wanted to spend time with me anymore. I was about to launch into a rant at him when Yesung shuffled over to us from the end of the street.
“There’s an emergency meeting. Tonight, at the old day clinic…I need you both to come.” He nodded, eyeing us both before hurrying along his way. I rolled my eyes, throwing my arms out dramatically.
“I might as well! Better than spending the night on my own, again!” I stormed off, ignoring Heechul’s weak pleas for me to go back. I probably should have…but I was far too annoyed at him to even care.
So I went to the meeting anyway, everyone was there. Even Henry, who’d checked out months before Heechul had even arrived. I frowned, looking around at all the accusing faces.
“Well? What’s going on?” I asked, Kangin jumping up immediately and grabbing my collar.
“What are you talking about?! You know damn well what the fuck is going on here!” He yelled, Yesung rushing over to pull the bigger man off of me. I dusted myself down, looking around and waiting for an explanation. Yesung turned to face me.
“Everything about the mirror, it’s true! Sungmin went in there.” All eyes turned to the male as he nodded.
“Me and Kyuhyun…we were on a date and I asked if I could look in one of the rooms. He was reluctant but when I cried he let me go in. There was all sorts of people there, watching as Zhou Mi and the others talked about Heechul.” Leeteuk nodded, as though he’d been there as well. Kangin folded his arms over his chest, shooting me a glare.
“He’s normal. They’re just throwing him in with us to rate our behaviour against normal people. It’s all fake!” I stared around at them all, Heechul had been right all along. He was normal, he didn’t need to be there. I had to tell him. I turned around and ran out of the clinic, running all the way across town until I reached his apartment block, pressing the buzzer over and over. My thighs were burning but I didn’t care, I had to give him the good news. See that bright smile light up his beautiful face again.
“Come on Heenim!! It’s me!” I called into the intercom, getting a muffled reply and the buzz to tell me the door was unlocked. I yanked it open and started up the stairs to his apartment.
“You’re normal Heenim!! Sungmin, he saw the other side of the mirror, you’re normal. They just put you in to compare you to us dribblers! You can go on with life again! Christ I’m out of breath…” I paused, panting on the stairs and trying to get my breath back before climbing up again. “We can go on holiday, like you promised. We can get our own place and you can take care of me, remember? Like we said last month!” I reached the top of the stairs, looking around at the eerily silent apartment. A heavy weight settled on my shoulders as I moved around.
“Heechul? Where are you…” Not even a sound from a television or anything. I swallowed lightly and moved through to the front room. I wasn’t expecting what I saw. Heechul was laid on the sofa, eyes closed and thin body curled around a huge cushion. He wasn’t breathing…in his hands was an empty bottle of what I’m guessing was sleeping pills or something.
“No no!! Don’t do this! You’re not dead!” I cried, tears streaming over my cheeks as I took the bottle from him, shaking his shoulders a little to try and get him to wake up. “You can’t leave me!!” I screamed, dropping to my knee’s. I panicked, any normal person would have called an ambulance right away. I was just scared I’d lost him…
“Heechul wake up…I need you, please don’t do this.” I begged before shakily taking his phone and calling the emergency services. I stayed with him until I was pulled away and had to watch him being wheeled into the ambulance. I stayed in his bed last night, hugging one of his shirts to my chest and crying for hours.
So Heechul had his stomach pumped and they were able to save him. I think it was because his editor told him no one would want to buy books from a dribbler, that’s what pushed him over the edge. He survived, thank fully. It made a huge stir at the clinic though, everyone wondering if it was Zhou Mi’s doing or if I’d done it. I just calmly told them it was about the book and left it at that.
~
“I think it was the government personally…they found out what we knew and tried to bump him off. But you got there just in time.” Yesung said to me one day as we were waiting outside for the front doors to unlock so we could go in. I just nodded, twisting my fingers together. The doors eventually opened and we headed in, I paused at the desk, waiting for Shindong to give me my pass. Shindong stared at me for a moment before shaking his head.
“Come on, I don’t want games Shindong. I’m not in the mood.” I sighed, looking up as SuMi came over with a box in her arms.
“Ah! Hangeng there you are!” She smiled brightly. “You’ve been discharged. Your progress has improved greatly in the past few months so we’re letting you go. Here’s everything from your locker, your medication and numbers so you can get in touch with anyone if you have problems.” I stared at her, feeling lost suddenly. I’d never wanted to leave, just because Heechul had come into my life and opened me up more, I didn’t feel stable enough. I’d be able to keep my apartment but still…it was scary to be pushed out into the world as a normal person.
After that, I locked myself in my room and just slept for days. I only got out of bed to use the bathroom or drink water, I didn‘t even take my medication. A few weeks of this passed before there was a knock at the door, I just stared out into the hallway.
“Hangeng! It’s me…I’m sorry okay? I was stupid…please don’t be mad at me anymore Hannie…I miss you…” Heechul’s pleas hurt me deeply, I still cared greatly for him. But I couldn’t face him, it didn’t feel right. I wasn’t normal, I was still broken. For days he came to see me, pleading more and more for me to answer the door and talk to him. Eventually I just stuck a sign to the door saying ‘I’M FINE. GO AWAY.’ in the hopes that he’d stop coming. I didn’t want to see him…But part of me ached to hold him in my arms and make everything okay. Why could I be sent home if he couldn’t? So I decided to sort myself out. I’d be the best normal person ever, I’d set him free and we’d go to China like we’d planned. I bathed three times just to make sure I was clean, cut and re-styled my hair and put on my best clothes. I’d make a damn good appeal to help him.
I stormed into the clinic, demanding a visitor pass from Shindong before heading up to the interview room, bursting in despite SuMi trying to push me out.
“Why can I be discharged when Heechul can’t?! He’s normal! Sungmin saw the other side of that mirror! Everyone watching and how you said he was just a test to see how we acted. Let him go like you threw me out.” I kept screaming and shouting at them until two security guards tackled me to the floor, jabbing a sedative into my body.
When I woke up, I was in the medic room. Zhou Mi tutting disapprovingly at me, muttering something about upping my dosage to make sure this didn’t happen again. I just swore at him and, once I had feeling back in my legs, I left. I didn’t want to go back now. Not if they were like that with those of us that had been discharged already. I formulated a plan, we’d take out all the money from both bank accounts, pack our things and just leave. Go to a small city far away where we could just be together and I’d take care of Heechul. I was so nervous as I packed everything I wanted to take with me. Just the necessities, clothing and photographs mainly. As well as toiletries of course. When I got to Heechul’s apartment, he was so shocked to see me. It was nice though.
“Wh-what are you doing here Hangeng? I thought you hated me…” He whimpered as he wrapped his thin arms around me, hugging our bodies close. I breathed in deeply and hugged him back, I’d missed him so badly, I felt horrible for ignoring him for so long.
“We’re leaving Heenim. Like we always said. We’ll run away together and, I’ll take care of us. I’m normal now, I can get a job and pay for us to live…” He smiled tiredly at me, the dark circles under his eyes told me he hadn’t slept in a while. He nodded and pulled me into the apartment, helping him pack everything he’d need. We threw some of his things into my bag, since he couldn’t bear to part with them and there was no room in his. We stood in the middle of the empty apartment, side by side as we stared out of the window. His cold hand wrapped in mine, fingers laced together in silent promises of the future.
“There’s one thing.” He said quietly, looking up at me. I blinked, turning to look at him.
“Oh?” I leaned my head to one side, hoping he wouldn’t say he had an incurable illness or something. Instead he leaned up on his toes, pressing his soft lips against my own. My first kiss, despite my age. And it was perfect. My heart was racing, I still didn’t understand the feelings inside of me. But it was Heechul causing them and I didn’t want to loose them. So I kissed him back and held his body close against my own, our hearts beating as one as we stumbled through to the bedroom. We were both adults, we knew what we were doing, and it was the most amazing experience of my life. His beautiful body in the moonlight would be imprinted on my brain for the rest of my days, the ways his hot breath against my skin spurred every movement, every whisper of love sealed with kisses.
When the morning awoke us, we were still tangled together in the bed sheets. Embarrassed smiles were exchanged before good morning kisses were shared and we got out of bed. We showered together, taking turns to wash each others hair before we finally got dressed and left for good. We had no idea where we were going or if we’d find a place or not - all that mattered was that we left and had each other.
I guess in a way, things didn’t turn out that bad for us. We found a little apartment on the outskirts of one of the smaller cities. It had a huge glass window facing the beach and Heechul would sit there for hours while I worked. I bought him a cat on year as a birthday present and he smiled like a child receiving that one toy they’ve always wanted. In a way, it’s weird to think of how we met and fell in love. Two dribblers meeting in a group, opposite personalities yet, as the saying goes, opposites attract. Nothing can break us apart. We’re inseparable now. Heechul is getting better, he has a full healthy head of hair again and the scars on his arm from the burns are hardly noticeable. And he managed to get a job writing short, fictional tales for a local newspaper. I guess I did fuck up a few times along the path, like not paying attention when he needed me the most but, it’s in the past now, right? Everything’s fine and Heechul had his happily ever after he’d always written about but never had. We never heard from anyone in the Everlasting Friends clinic, not that I minded. Heechul was enough for me and I couldn’t ask for anything else.
Pairing: HanChul
Rating: PG-13 ; swearing / attempted suicide
Word Count: 2362
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own these guys~ agirlcandreamthough
Summary: Heechul is the latest patient at the Everlasting Friends Day Clinic, a day clinic for people with mental disorders. He befriends the shy Hangeng and they help each other through the daily struggles. [Based on the movie Poppy Shakespeare]
I guess my first sign that things weren’t going well were on Halloween. Heechul invited me over to his place for a little get-together. You know, horror movie and a bottle of cheap wine. The only stuff us dribblers can afford other than nasty, battery-acidic cider. He’d answered the door in his usual tatty hat and wrapped up in his scarf. I ignored it as a cold though. It all went well till I presented him with a gift of a new hat, tugging his old one off to reveal his once beautiful hair was now thinning out. He was pulling his hair out through stress. He’d also taken to boiling the skin off of his arm, water straight from the kettle. It knocked up his medication dosage and meant that Zhou Mi demanded Heechul let him see his arms every day. He stayed quiet all the time as well…It was really worrying. Then things just got worse…I wish I could have paid more attention. It might have stopped it.
Walking along the street, I kept babbling to Heechul about finding the latest designer clothes in a charity shop and how I couldn’t believe my luck to find such amazing clothing. He just nodded a little as he headed down towards the subway.
“Say, do you fancy catching a movie or something tonight?” I asked, glancing over my shoulder at him. He shook his head, lifting a hand to re-adjust the hat on his head. His hair had grown back but it wasn’t even and he hated the sight of it.
“My editor is coming over…We’re having a talk about my newest books.” He muttered quietly, eyes not meeting mine. I got annoyed, he never wanted to spend time with me anymore. I was about to launch into a rant at him when Yesung shuffled over to us from the end of the street.
“There’s an emergency meeting. Tonight, at the old day clinic…I need you both to come.” He nodded, eyeing us both before hurrying along his way. I rolled my eyes, throwing my arms out dramatically.
“I might as well! Better than spending the night on my own, again!” I stormed off, ignoring Heechul’s weak pleas for me to go back. I probably should have…but I was far too annoyed at him to even care.
So I went to the meeting anyway, everyone was there. Even Henry, who’d checked out months before Heechul had even arrived. I frowned, looking around at all the accusing faces.
“Well? What’s going on?” I asked, Kangin jumping up immediately and grabbing my collar.
“What are you talking about?! You know damn well what the fuck is going on here!” He yelled, Yesung rushing over to pull the bigger man off of me. I dusted myself down, looking around and waiting for an explanation. Yesung turned to face me.
“Everything about the mirror, it’s true! Sungmin went in there.” All eyes turned to the male as he nodded.
“Me and Kyuhyun…we were on a date and I asked if I could look in one of the rooms. He was reluctant but when I cried he let me go in. There was all sorts of people there, watching as Zhou Mi and the others talked about Heechul.” Leeteuk nodded, as though he’d been there as well. Kangin folded his arms over his chest, shooting me a glare.
“He’s normal. They’re just throwing him in with us to rate our behaviour against normal people. It’s all fake!” I stared around at them all, Heechul had been right all along. He was normal, he didn’t need to be there. I had to tell him. I turned around and ran out of the clinic, running all the way across town until I reached his apartment block, pressing the buzzer over and over. My thighs were burning but I didn’t care, I had to give him the good news. See that bright smile light up his beautiful face again.
“Come on Heenim!! It’s me!” I called into the intercom, getting a muffled reply and the buzz to tell me the door was unlocked. I yanked it open and started up the stairs to his apartment.
“You’re normal Heenim!! Sungmin, he saw the other side of the mirror, you’re normal. They just put you in to compare you to us dribblers! You can go on with life again! Christ I’m out of breath…” I paused, panting on the stairs and trying to get my breath back before climbing up again. “We can go on holiday, like you promised. We can get our own place and you can take care of me, remember? Like we said last month!” I reached the top of the stairs, looking around at the eerily silent apartment. A heavy weight settled on my shoulders as I moved around.
“Heechul? Where are you…” Not even a sound from a television or anything. I swallowed lightly and moved through to the front room. I wasn’t expecting what I saw. Heechul was laid on the sofa, eyes closed and thin body curled around a huge cushion. He wasn’t breathing…in his hands was an empty bottle of what I’m guessing was sleeping pills or something.
“No no!! Don’t do this! You’re not dead!” I cried, tears streaming over my cheeks as I took the bottle from him, shaking his shoulders a little to try and get him to wake up. “You can’t leave me!!” I screamed, dropping to my knee’s. I panicked, any normal person would have called an ambulance right away. I was just scared I’d lost him…
“Heechul wake up…I need you, please don’t do this.” I begged before shakily taking his phone and calling the emergency services. I stayed with him until I was pulled away and had to watch him being wheeled into the ambulance. I stayed in his bed last night, hugging one of his shirts to my chest and crying for hours.
So Heechul had his stomach pumped and they were able to save him. I think it was because his editor told him no one would want to buy books from a dribbler, that’s what pushed him over the edge. He survived, thank fully. It made a huge stir at the clinic though, everyone wondering if it was Zhou Mi’s doing or if I’d done it. I just calmly told them it was about the book and left it at that.
~
“I think it was the government personally…they found out what we knew and tried to bump him off. But you got there just in time.” Yesung said to me one day as we were waiting outside for the front doors to unlock so we could go in. I just nodded, twisting my fingers together. The doors eventually opened and we headed in, I paused at the desk, waiting for Shindong to give me my pass. Shindong stared at me for a moment before shaking his head.
“Come on, I don’t want games Shindong. I’m not in the mood.” I sighed, looking up as SuMi came over with a box in her arms.
“Ah! Hangeng there you are!” She smiled brightly. “You’ve been discharged. Your progress has improved greatly in the past few months so we’re letting you go. Here’s everything from your locker, your medication and numbers so you can get in touch with anyone if you have problems.” I stared at her, feeling lost suddenly. I’d never wanted to leave, just because Heechul had come into my life and opened me up more, I didn’t feel stable enough. I’d be able to keep my apartment but still…it was scary to be pushed out into the world as a normal person.
After that, I locked myself in my room and just slept for days. I only got out of bed to use the bathroom or drink water, I didn‘t even take my medication. A few weeks of this passed before there was a knock at the door, I just stared out into the hallway.
“Hangeng! It’s me…I’m sorry okay? I was stupid…please don’t be mad at me anymore Hannie…I miss you…” Heechul’s pleas hurt me deeply, I still cared greatly for him. But I couldn’t face him, it didn’t feel right. I wasn’t normal, I was still broken. For days he came to see me, pleading more and more for me to answer the door and talk to him. Eventually I just stuck a sign to the door saying ‘I’M FINE. GO AWAY.’ in the hopes that he’d stop coming. I didn’t want to see him…But part of me ached to hold him in my arms and make everything okay. Why could I be sent home if he couldn’t? So I decided to sort myself out. I’d be the best normal person ever, I’d set him free and we’d go to China like we’d planned. I bathed three times just to make sure I was clean, cut and re-styled my hair and put on my best clothes. I’d make a damn good appeal to help him.
I stormed into the clinic, demanding a visitor pass from Shindong before heading up to the interview room, bursting in despite SuMi trying to push me out.
“Why can I be discharged when Heechul can’t?! He’s normal! Sungmin saw the other side of that mirror! Everyone watching and how you said he was just a test to see how we acted. Let him go like you threw me out.” I kept screaming and shouting at them until two security guards tackled me to the floor, jabbing a sedative into my body.
When I woke up, I was in the medic room. Zhou Mi tutting disapprovingly at me, muttering something about upping my dosage to make sure this didn’t happen again. I just swore at him and, once I had feeling back in my legs, I left. I didn’t want to go back now. Not if they were like that with those of us that had been discharged already. I formulated a plan, we’d take out all the money from both bank accounts, pack our things and just leave. Go to a small city far away where we could just be together and I’d take care of Heechul. I was so nervous as I packed everything I wanted to take with me. Just the necessities, clothing and photographs mainly. As well as toiletries of course. When I got to Heechul’s apartment, he was so shocked to see me. It was nice though.
“Wh-what are you doing here Hangeng? I thought you hated me…” He whimpered as he wrapped his thin arms around me, hugging our bodies close. I breathed in deeply and hugged him back, I’d missed him so badly, I felt horrible for ignoring him for so long.
“We’re leaving Heenim. Like we always said. We’ll run away together and, I’ll take care of us. I’m normal now, I can get a job and pay for us to live…” He smiled tiredly at me, the dark circles under his eyes told me he hadn’t slept in a while. He nodded and pulled me into the apartment, helping him pack everything he’d need. We threw some of his things into my bag, since he couldn’t bear to part with them and there was no room in his. We stood in the middle of the empty apartment, side by side as we stared out of the window. His cold hand wrapped in mine, fingers laced together in silent promises of the future.
“There’s one thing.” He said quietly, looking up at me. I blinked, turning to look at him.
“Oh?” I leaned my head to one side, hoping he wouldn’t say he had an incurable illness or something. Instead he leaned up on his toes, pressing his soft lips against my own. My first kiss, despite my age. And it was perfect. My heart was racing, I still didn’t understand the feelings inside of me. But it was Heechul causing them and I didn’t want to loose them. So I kissed him back and held his body close against my own, our hearts beating as one as we stumbled through to the bedroom. We were both adults, we knew what we were doing, and it was the most amazing experience of my life. His beautiful body in the moonlight would be imprinted on my brain for the rest of my days, the ways his hot breath against my skin spurred every movement, every whisper of love sealed with kisses.
When the morning awoke us, we were still tangled together in the bed sheets. Embarrassed smiles were exchanged before good morning kisses were shared and we got out of bed. We showered together, taking turns to wash each others hair before we finally got dressed and left for good. We had no idea where we were going or if we’d find a place or not - all that mattered was that we left and had each other.
I guess in a way, things didn’t turn out that bad for us. We found a little apartment on the outskirts of one of the smaller cities. It had a huge glass window facing the beach and Heechul would sit there for hours while I worked. I bought him a cat on year as a birthday present and he smiled like a child receiving that one toy they’ve always wanted. In a way, it’s weird to think of how we met and fell in love. Two dribblers meeting in a group, opposite personalities yet, as the saying goes, opposites attract. Nothing can break us apart. We’re inseparable now. Heechul is getting better, he has a full healthy head of hair again and the scars on his arm from the burns are hardly noticeable. And he managed to get a job writing short, fictional tales for a local newspaper. I guess I did fuck up a few times along the path, like not paying attention when he needed me the most but, it’s in the past now, right? Everything’s fine and Heechul had his happily ever after he’d always written about but never had. We never heard from anyone in the Everlasting Friends clinic, not that I minded. Heechul was enough for me and I couldn’t ask for anything else.