5 AM cigarette.
i've felt really off for some time now.
maybe it's because i've hardly painted, drawn, or written anything in the past 5 or 6 months. and the very very few things i have tried to make haven't been worthwhile. and i'm about to go into art school.
maybe it's because i'm still adjusting to living someplace new. i like being here, but moving into this apartment is only the second time i've ever moved in my life, the last time being when i was 13.
maybe it's because i'm further from tessa than i have been the past 5 years and it's throwing me off-kilter. we still talk and occasionally hang but it's harder now that i don't live at home.
maybe it's because i don't want to go to college in the fall. i enjoy working 4-5 days a week, doing chores, hanging out, and trying to maintain my etsy around all of it. i don't want to get 398257406745 times busier and no longer have time for work or etsy.
i have a day off tomorrow and i guess i'm going to try to make something. i finally brought the rest of my clothes and art supplies over here. it was sort of a shock because i hadn't been told, but cami's moved into my room now at home, because it's bigger. she's actually taken everything off the walls, moved all her furniture in, and all my furniture into hers. it was a little jarring to not have my comfy room to come home to.
it's like wandering into a building, then when you try to get back out, someone has locked the door on you. i mean i'm still welcome at home, but. it's like when poppy makes her toilet paper nest, and i clean her cage. she has to rearrange EVERYTHING to get it how she wants it.
i got harry potter tickets.
that's all.
maybe it's because i've hardly painted, drawn, or written anything in the past 5 or 6 months. and the very very few things i have tried to make haven't been worthwhile. and i'm about to go into art school.
maybe it's because i'm still adjusting to living someplace new. i like being here, but moving into this apartment is only the second time i've ever moved in my life, the last time being when i was 13.
maybe it's because i'm further from tessa than i have been the past 5 years and it's throwing me off-kilter. we still talk and occasionally hang but it's harder now that i don't live at home.
maybe it's because i don't want to go to college in the fall. i enjoy working 4-5 days a week, doing chores, hanging out, and trying to maintain my etsy around all of it. i don't want to get 398257406745 times busier and no longer have time for work or etsy.
i have a day off tomorrow and i guess i'm going to try to make something. i finally brought the rest of my clothes and art supplies over here. it was sort of a shock because i hadn't been told, but cami's moved into my room now at home, because it's bigger. she's actually taken everything off the walls, moved all her furniture in, and all my furniture into hers. it was a little jarring to not have my comfy room to come home to.
it's like wandering into a building, then when you try to get back out, someone has locked the door on you. i mean i'm still welcome at home, but. it's like when poppy makes her toilet paper nest, and i clean her cage. she has to rearrange EVERYTHING to get it how she wants it.
i got harry potter tickets.
that's all.